1 00:00:48,380 --> 00:00:53,009 [Male Singer] % I have climbed the highest mountain % 2 00:00:53,092 --> 00:00:57,346 % I have run through the fields % 3 00:00:57,429 --> 00:01:01,766 % Only to be with you % 4 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:06,562 % Only to be with you % 5 00:01:06,645 --> 00:01:11,941 % I have run, I have crawled % 6 00:01:12,025 --> 00:01:16,570 % I have scaled these city walls % 7 00:01:16,654 --> 00:01:21,074 % These city walls % 8 00:01:21,158 --> 00:01:25,745 % Only to be with you % 9 00:01:25,828 --> 00:01:31,041 % But I still haven't found % 10 00:01:31,083 --> 00:01:34,544 % What I'm looking for % 11 00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:40,048 % But I still haven't found % 12 00:01:40,090 --> 00:01:43,134 % What I'm looking for % 13 00:01:45,344 --> 00:01:47,304 [Man] Fisher, pick up. 14 00:01:47,388 --> 00:01:50,390 Fisher, it's me! Fisher, pick up! 15 00:01:50,474 --> 00:01:53,685 I'm late, come on, come on. I need to bounce some ideas off you. 16 00:01:53,768 --> 00:01:55,728 Mine are all boring, done it, been there. 17 00:01:55,812 --> 00:01:56,854 Hey, Ike! 18 00:01:56,938 --> 00:02:00,107 When are you guys gonna stop waking me up every morning? 19 00:02:00,190 --> 00:02:02,567 When your column stops putting me to sleep. 20 00:02:02,651 --> 00:02:05,278 - Funny, funny. - Yo, Jonah! 21 00:02:05,361 --> 00:02:07,405 Fisher, come on! Are you really not there? 22 00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:09,615 All right, cool. I'll talk to you later. 23 00:02:09,698 --> 00:02:12,659 Excuse me. I'm thinking of doing an article about limousines. 24 00:02:12,742 --> 00:02:15,787 What do you think about people who've never been in one? 25 00:02:15,828 --> 00:02:17,663 I don't know people like that. 26 00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:21,625 I need someone to bounce some ideas off of and get the juices flowing. 27 00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:24,753 I got one hour, 27 minutes, 52 seconds. 28 00:02:24,836 --> 00:02:26,796 Hey, Ike! When are you gonna put me in a column? 29 00:02:26,879 --> 00:02:29,757 - When your T-shirts stop shrinking. - [Woman] Shrinks? 30 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,718 -Funny. He's kidding. He's just kidding. -Oh, forget it. 31 00:02:32,801 --> 00:02:36,012 - Here, give me $5. Give me $2. - [Woman] No way. 32 00:02:36,095 --> 00:02:39,015 Folks, I got nice shirts here. Look! 33 00:02:39,098 --> 00:02:41,308 "I love everybody. You're next." 34 00:02:41,392 --> 00:02:44,561 %[Female Singing] 35 00:02:56,029 --> 00:02:59,240 So what's in store for us in tomorrow's column? 36 00:02:59,323 --> 00:03:02,034 [Groans] I don't know yet. 37 00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:07,038 I'm, uh, kind of a last-minute man. 38 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:10,333 You know, till an hour or two before deadline, I don't get any ideas. 39 00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:14,586 So you get your ideas for your column from life. 40 00:03:14,669 --> 00:03:16,588 Start up a conversation with a woman in a bar. 41 00:03:16,671 --> 00:03:19,340 Attack her dart playing and try to get a rise out of her... 42 00:03:19,423 --> 00:03:23,010 while you contemplate whether or not she's worth hitting on. 43 00:03:23,093 --> 00:03:25,804 No, I can't hit on you till I get an idea. 44 00:03:25,887 --> 00:03:27,639 Wh-- That's flattering. 45 00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:30,057 [Ike] No, you don't understand. 46 00:03:30,099 --> 00:03:33,602 I understand. See, my not responding to you baiting me... 47 00:03:33,685 --> 00:03:37,397 will inspire one of those bitter diatribes you like to write about women. 48 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,774 [Ike]I don't write bitter diatribes about women. 49 00:03:39,857 --> 00:03:42,651 - Oh-ho. - Very often. I could. 50 00:03:42,735 --> 00:03:45,570 Only when the ideas aren't flowing, huh? 51 00:03:45,612 --> 00:03:47,697 It's so nice to meet you, one-minute man. 52 00:03:47,781 --> 00:03:50,741 It's last-minute man. 53 00:03:50,825 --> 00:03:52,993 Whatever. 54 00:03:53,077 --> 00:03:56,288 Want to hear something funny? For a good-looking guy, you strike out a lot. 55 00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:59,415 - [Bartender] Have you noticed that? - [Phone Ringing] 56 00:03:59,499 --> 00:04:01,834 - I bet it's your ex-wife. - [Man] Excuse me. 57 00:04:01,917 --> 00:04:03,794 I've seen much worse. 58 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,588 [Bartender] No, Ike's not here. 59 00:04:06,671 --> 00:04:09,716 I say, I've seen much worse. 60 00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:12,301 - I'll tell him when he comes in. - Excuse me? 61 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:15,262 The brush-off. 62 00:04:15,304 --> 00:04:18,056 I've witnessed far more... 63 00:04:18,098 --> 00:04:21,184 treacherous and nefarious exits than that. 64 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:24,770 At least she castigated you in private. 65 00:04:24,853 --> 00:04:28,356 Not as private as I thought. Kevin, you got some napkins there? 66 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,276 - Wiping or writing? - I'll let you know. 67 00:04:32,318 --> 00:04:35,279 They love you. They hate you. 68 00:04:35,321 --> 00:04:37,864 They're hot. They're cold. They're high. 69 00:04:37,948 --> 00:04:39,908 They're up. They're down. 70 00:04:39,949 --> 00:04:43,577 This is fun making a list with you, but I do have a column to write. 71 00:04:43,661 --> 00:04:45,454 Ike. 72 00:04:45,537 --> 00:04:49,541 But you have yet to find a really superb idea. 73 00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:53,002 There's a girl from my hometown that you could write about. 74 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:55,004 Excuse me, but we don't need any ideas. 75 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:58,632 She likes to dump grooms at the altar. They call her the "Runaway Bride." 76 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,718 She's performed the travesty seven or eight times. 77 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:05,429 Turns around, runs like hell. Bolts. Adios. 78 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,140 Plows down the aisle, knocking old ladies out of her way... 79 00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:11,017 Like the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. 80 00:05:11,101 --> 00:05:13,561 And guess what! She's got the next victim all lined up. 81 00:05:13,644 --> 00:05:16,772 She's turning another body on the spit. 82 00:05:16,855 --> 00:05:19,983 [Ike] Okay, Italics, here we go. 83 00:05:22,402 --> 00:05:26,655 [Ike's Voice] Today is a day of profound introspection. 84 00:05:26,739 --> 00:05:29,574 I have been accused of using this column... 85 00:05:29,658 --> 00:05:33,786 to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex. 86 00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:36,956 This uncomfortable accusation... 87 00:05:36,997 --> 00:05:41,209 has plunged me into at least 15 minutes of serious reflection, 88 00:05:41,293 --> 00:05:43,378 from which I have emerged... 89 00:05:43,461 --> 00:05:48,757 with the conclusion that, yes, I traffic in female stereotypes. 90 00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:54,303 "But how can one blame me when every time I step out my front door, 91 00:05:54,345 --> 00:05:58,515 I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well." 92 00:05:58,599 --> 00:06:02,102 "The mother, the virgin, the whore, the crone." 93 00:06:02,185 --> 00:06:05,063 "They're elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs, 94 00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:07,815 and overwhelming you with perfume in elevators." 95 00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:09,858 "But perhaps in fairness to the fairer sex, 96 00:06:09,942 --> 00:06:14,112 I do need to broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon." 97 00:06:14,195 --> 00:06:18,157 "I would like to nominate for deity the cheerleader, the coed... 98 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,243 and the man-eater, the last of which concerns me most today." 99 00:06:21,326 --> 00:06:24,704 "In ancient Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys, 100 00:06:24,746 --> 00:06:26,747 the devouring death goddess." 101 00:06:26,831 --> 00:06:28,499 "In India, she is Kali, 102 00:06:28,541 --> 00:06:31,043 who likes to devour her boyfriend Shiva's entrails..." 103 00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:33,837 "while her yoni devours his dot, dot, dot... never mind." 104 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,966 "In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater is called Ragma." 105 00:06:39,049 --> 00:06:42,427 You notice these are all countries without cable. 106 00:06:42,511 --> 00:06:44,888 "And in Hale, Maryland, 107 00:06:44,929 --> 00:06:47,098 where she helps run the family hardware store, 108 00:06:47,181 --> 00:06:51,852 she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter, a.k.a. the Runaway Bride." 109 00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:54,771 "What is unusual about Miss Carpenter... 110 00:06:54,854 --> 00:06:59,316 is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them." 111 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:04,237 One antique hot-water handle with the "hot" still on it. 112 00:07:04,321 --> 00:07:07,073 Guaranteed to fit any American Standard cast-iron tub... 113 00:07:07,156 --> 00:07:11,743 with a four-inch center mount made between 1924 and 1938. 114 00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:13,870 In other words, Mr. Paxton, 115 00:07:13,954 --> 00:07:15,997 I think you are out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. 116 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,040 Hallelujah! 117 00:07:17,123 --> 00:07:18,833 I'll see you later. I'll put it on your charge. 118 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:23,253 There's a possibility she hasn't seen this yet. 119 00:07:23,337 --> 00:07:27,257 Maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper. Know what I mean? 120 00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:30,134 - Or not. - [Man]Maggie? 121 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,886 Earl, you don't need an air-conditioner. You need an attic fan. 122 00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:36,014 There's more in the back. Hey. 123 00:07:39,183 --> 00:07:41,101 What? 124 00:07:41,185 --> 00:07:44,271 So, Mag, you've seen this, huh? 125 00:07:44,354 --> 00:07:46,272 Yes, I've seen it. 126 00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:49,108 And it is the rudest, 127 00:07:49,192 --> 00:07:51,694 most offensive... 128 00:07:51,777 --> 00:07:55,072 joke anyone has ever played on me! 129 00:07:55,113 --> 00:07:58,032 You guys, how long did this take you? Where did you get it done? 130 00:07:58,116 --> 00:08:00,326 You're both creeps, by the way. I should "disinvite" you. 131 00:08:00,409 --> 00:08:05,664 Maggie, you told us no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't-- 132 00:08:11,293 --> 00:08:14,755 Holy moly. 133 00:08:16,464 --> 00:08:19,550 - Bag. Bag! - She's going. She's gonna go! 134 00:08:19,634 --> 00:08:23,345 Here's the bag. Breathe! 135 00:08:23,429 --> 00:08:26,098 [Female Singer] % Ready, ready, ready, ready % 136 00:08:26,181 --> 00:08:28,266 % Ready to run % 137 00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:31,727 % All I'm ready to do is have some fun % 138 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,270 [Barks] 139 00:08:33,354 --> 00:08:39,609 % What's all this talk about love % 140 00:08:39,651 --> 00:08:42,194 [Grunting] 141 00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:47,115 [Radio] On the local front, our town of Hale, Maryland, 142 00:08:47,199 --> 00:08:49,659 is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article... 143 00:08:49,742 --> 00:08:52,370 about their native daughter, Maggie Carpenter. 144 00:08:52,453 --> 00:08:54,538 Her bridal exploits were taken to task... 145 00:08:54,622 --> 00:08:57,207 by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. 146 00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,376 - Mr. Graham called her-- - [Radio Off] 147 00:08:59,459 --> 00:09:02,920 [Maggie's Voice] Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. 148 00:09:03,004 --> 00:09:06,965 Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly... 149 00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:11,260 on hog calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. 150 00:09:11,344 --> 00:09:13,304 Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? 151 00:09:13,304 --> 00:09:15,180 Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? 152 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,227 I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements... 153 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,312 about how I dump men for kicks... 154 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,190 to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. 155 00:09:26,273 --> 00:09:29,192 Which is understandable, because with a man-eater like me on the loose, 156 00:09:29,276 --> 00:09:31,194 who has time to check facts? 157 00:09:31,277 --> 00:09:34,113 - Hey, Frances, lunch today? - No, I'm going to the bank. 158 00:09:34,196 --> 00:09:36,115 - Sure? - Sorry, Ike. 159 00:09:36,198 --> 00:09:39,409 - All right. Hey. - Hey. 160 00:09:39,493 --> 00:09:41,619 I'm going to put in a good word for you. 161 00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:42,829 Don't mention my name. 162 00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:44,872 [Maggie's Voice] That's why I was surprised to find... 163 00:09:44,914 --> 00:09:47,207 Mr. Graham's editor was a woman. 164 00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:50,543 Call me a sentimental fool, but I hoped we man-eaters could stick together. 165 00:09:50,585 --> 00:09:53,087 "Anyway, I'm just dropping you big-city folk this little note... 166 00:09:53,171 --> 00:09:55,673 to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice..." 167 00:09:55,714 --> 00:09:57,758 "that would satisfy my current appetite: 168 00:09:57,841 --> 00:10:00,177 "Ike Graham's column on a platter." 169 00:10:00,218 --> 00:10:02,512 "Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. 170 00:10:02,554 --> 00:10:06,182 "I have enclosed a list of gross factual misrepresentations in your article. 171 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:08,851 There are fifteen." 172 00:10:09,935 --> 00:10:11,895 [Ike] Funny. I like her. 173 00:10:11,936 --> 00:10:14,522 She's got spunk. 174 00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:18,192 Ike, look. She sent us this list. Our lawyers say it's actionable. 175 00:10:18,275 --> 00:10:20,360 [Sighs] 176 00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,779 I left you four messages. You don't return my calls. 177 00:10:22,862 --> 00:10:25,740 I never returned your calls. Even when we were married I didn't-- 178 00:10:25,781 --> 00:10:30,619 -What's Fisher doing here? -Ellie asked me to offer moral support. 179 00:10:30,702 --> 00:10:33,705 Since when does Ellie need moral support? 180 00:10:33,746 --> 00:10:36,165 It's for you, Ike. 181 00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:40,711 What? What? 182 00:10:40,752 --> 00:10:42,879 Journalism lesson number one: 183 00:10:42,921 --> 00:10:46,048 If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. 184 00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:49,551 Lesson number two: Never work for your former spouse. 185 00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:54,222 That has nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up, and you know it! 186 00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:56,307 I did not cook anything up. I had a source. 187 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,642 Someone reliable? Some boozehound in a bar? 188 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,144 In vino veritas. 189 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:04,731 Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving. 190 00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:06,732 Besides, lam a columnist. 191 00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:09,568 This is what columnists are supposed to do. 192 00:11:09,610 --> 00:11:13,488 It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. 193 00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:15,198 That's what makes me good! 194 00:11:15,281 --> 00:11:18,617 No, that's what makes you unemployed. 195 00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:24,414 All right. Let's consider that my wrist has been slapped. 196 00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:27,458 There. Slap it. Go ahead, just-- 197 00:11:27,542 --> 00:11:30,127 Slap my wrist. That's done. 198 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:35,673 Just give me a call when you feel that I've served my time, and move on. 199 00:11:38,426 --> 00:11:41,136 This is permanent, Ike. 200 00:11:42,721 --> 00:11:45,974 If you go quietly, I'll get you severance pay. 201 00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:57,525 [Secretary] I'm sorry, Ike. 202 00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:01,779 [Train Whistle Blowing] 203 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:06,074 [Crossing Bell Ringing] 204 00:12:21,629 --> 00:12:25,507 - [Maggie]Bob? Honey? - In the kitchen! 205 00:12:25,549 --> 00:12:27,509 Honey, she canned him! Honey? 206 00:12:27,550 --> 00:12:30,344 Bob, she canned him! 207 00:12:30,386 --> 00:12:33,389 - Yea! What are you talking about? - Listen, it's in the paper. 208 00:12:33,472 --> 00:12:35,474 - Try this on first. - Okay. 209 00:12:35,515 --> 00:12:37,892 I wanna read it to you, so come over this way. 210 00:12:37,976 --> 00:12:40,186 Ready? "Dear Maggie Carpenter: 211 00:12:40,269 --> 00:12:43,564 I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter.'' 212 00:12:43,647 --> 00:12:48,651 Here it is. "Ike Graham's column will no longer be appearing in this paper. 213 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:51,028 Best of luck in your upcoming marriage." 214 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:54,323 Okay, this is the weight of the pack you'll be carrying in the Himalayas. 215 00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:58,326 - You let me know if it's too heavy. - Okay. Whoa! 216 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:02,371 A little... yeah. Yeah, a little heavy, baby. [Laughing] 217 00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,706 [Screams, Laughs] 218 00:13:10,003 --> 00:13:13,130 [Phone Rings, Message Machine] Hi, it's me. Leave a message after the beep. 219 00:13:13,214 --> 00:13:15,883 If you want to leave a fax, buy me a fax machine. 220 00:13:15,924 --> 00:13:18,343 [Beeps] Ike, Fisher. 221 00:13:18,385 --> 00:13:23,097 Get up. I can turn this Runaway Bride story around. 222 00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:26,516 I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q. today by the convey or belt. 223 00:13:26,558 --> 00:13:28,977 Meet me. I'll save your tush. 224 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:32,438 And since I do freelance stuff for G.Q. now, I have an idea. 225 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,065 - What are you saying? - Vindication. 226 00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:37,192 How would you like some? 227 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:40,695 A chance to prove that although your story wasn't entirely factual, 228 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,364 your theory was correct. 229 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:47,534 - The real story on Miss Carpenter. - All the gory details. 230 00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:49,577 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 231 00:13:49,619 --> 00:13:52,830 [Fisher] And if she runs again, you got a cover story. 232 00:13:54,498 --> 00:13:57,084 [Male Singers] % Oh, here she comes % 233 00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,544 % Watch out, boy she'll chew you up % 234 00:13:59,586 --> 00:14:02,005 % Oh, here she comes % 235 00:14:02,088 --> 00:14:04,924 % She's a man-eater % 236 00:14:04,965 --> 00:14:07,926 % Oh, here she comes % 237 00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:10,553 % Watch out, boy she'll chew you up % 238 00:14:10,595 --> 00:14:12,764 % Oh, here she comes % 239 00:14:12,847 --> 00:14:15,724 % She's a man-eater % 240 00:14:15,766 --> 00:14:18,310 % She'll only come out at night % 241 00:14:18,393 --> 00:14:21,312 % The lean and hungry type % 242 00:14:21,396 --> 00:14:25,066 % Nothing is new I've seen her here before % 243 00:14:26,859 --> 00:14:29,486 % Watching and waiting % 244 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:34,574 % She's seated with you but here yes are on the door % 245 00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:39,578 % I wouldn't if I were you % 246 00:14:39,619 --> 00:14:42,580 % I know what she can do % 247 00:14:42,622 --> 00:14:48,168 %She's deadly, man She could really rip your world apart % 248 00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:50,545 % Mind over matter % 249 00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:55,424 % Oh, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart % 250 00:14:55,466 --> 00:14:57,968 Here you go. Right upstairs to the left. 251 00:14:58,010 --> 00:14:59,970 Thanks. How late's the restaurant open? 252 00:15:00,012 --> 00:15:03,431 - 8:30 every night. - [Chuckles] That late, huh? 253 00:15:12,439 --> 00:15:15,316 [Maggie] Cindy, can you eighty-six Sprout? 254 00:15:15,358 --> 00:15:18,652 He's licking up all the petroleum distillates I'm trying to put in. 255 00:15:18,736 --> 00:15:21,196 Oh, sorry. She's an obedience school dropout. 256 00:15:21,279 --> 00:15:25,116 - [Sprout Barks] - Have a seat. 257 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:30,162 % [Barbershop Quartet Vocalizing] % 258 00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:32,289 [Applause] 259 00:15:32,372 --> 00:15:36,834 Thank you. We'll see you, ladies and gentlemen, in the hotel on the weekend. 260 00:15:46,884 --> 00:15:49,261 You're a goddess. You're a goddess! 261 00:15:49,345 --> 00:15:53,390 [Into Tape Recorder] Shazam! I think I'm in Mayberry. 262 00:15:53,473 --> 00:15:56,684 [Maggie]I didn't have to change a gasket, just put in new hydraulic fluid. 263 00:15:56,768 --> 00:15:59,311 [Woman] Stop it! When you talk like that, it turns me on and frightens me. 264 00:15:59,395 --> 00:16:03,982 - Oh, you turn a girl's head. - [Laughing] Whoa! 265 00:16:04,065 --> 00:16:07,402 Excuse me. Hello? 266 00:16:07,485 --> 00:16:09,695 Excuse me. Could you help-- I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter. 267 00:16:09,737 --> 00:16:14,241 There was a, uh, note on the door of the hardware store across the street. 268 00:16:14,324 --> 00:16:16,367 - Are you a reporter? - What? 269 00:16:16,451 --> 00:16:18,452 It's just been our experience that... 270 00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:21,372 anyone who comes in here with tassels on his loafers... 271 00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:26,084 is a big-city reporter wanting to do an interview with Maggie. 272 00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:28,169 About her upcoming wedding and all. 273 00:16:28,211 --> 00:16:33,340 Actually about her getting that asshole from New York fired. 274 00:16:33,382 --> 00:16:38,261 I am just such a reporter. And who are you? 275 00:16:38,344 --> 00:16:42,765 - Peggy Flemming. Not the ice skater. - [Laughs] 276 00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:44,850 [Peggy] Come in, come in. 277 00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:47,185 [Ike] Who are these lovely ladies? 278 00:16:47,227 --> 00:16:50,229 Hi. I'm Cindy. Maggie's unmarried cousin. 279 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:53,023 Mrs. Pressman. No relation. Oh, sorry. 280 00:16:53,065 --> 00:16:55,067 [Peggy] And you are? 281 00:16:55,108 --> 00:16:58,403 Looking... for Maggie. 282 00:16:58,444 --> 00:17:01,113 Maggie, someone to see you. 283 00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:14,708 I hope you've got a new angle because it's all pretty much been covered. 284 00:17:14,791 --> 00:17:16,835 Hold on. No one interviews Maggie in here without a haircut. 285 00:17:16,918 --> 00:17:19,337 Sorry, no. Just got one. 286 00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:22,673 [Mrs. Pressman] Excuse me, sir, I have a fact for you. 287 00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:26,510 - This is an actual fact. - Yes, Mrs. Pressman? 288 00:17:26,593 --> 00:17:29,429 This is actually her fourth wedding, not her seventh like they said. 289 00:17:29,512 --> 00:17:32,556 [Ike] I know. Tell me something. Do you think she's... 290 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,642 - gonna make it all the way this time? - I don't know. 291 00:17:35,684 --> 00:17:38,561 [Gasps] 292 00:17:38,645 --> 00:17:42,440 She swallowed her gum. She does that. 293 00:17:44,024 --> 00:17:47,360 Mr. Schulian, he runs the newsstand. He's also our local bookie. 294 00:17:47,402 --> 00:17:49,362 He's given eight-to-one odds that she won't. 295 00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:51,697 Okay. 296 00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:54,617 Instead of a haircut, how 'bout a wash? 297 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,785 Get all that city grit out of your hair. 298 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,787 You'll answer my questions? 299 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,788 Mm-hmm. 300 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:04,333 Fine! You wash, I'll ask. 301 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,044 So, what do you want to know? 302 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,045 When is the big day? 303 00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:13,132 - A week from Sunday. - Let's put this here like this... 304 00:18:13,215 --> 00:18:16,218 because this aroma therapy can get a little strong. 305 00:18:16,301 --> 00:18:18,553 The lavender, we don't want to put you to sleep. 306 00:18:18,595 --> 00:18:20,096 [Ike] You nervous? 307 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,807 I've never been more certain of anything in my life. 308 00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:26,602 Except I've been having all kinds of weird dreams. 309 00:18:26,685 --> 00:18:29,437 Mm-hmm. Would you like to tell me about 'em? 310 00:18:29,521 --> 00:18:31,439 Yeah, sure. 311 00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:35,151 - [Maggie] And another one. - Pete, I'll be right with ya. 312 00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:38,362 [Maggie] I go inside the church and everyone I know is there. 313 00:18:38,445 --> 00:18:42,907 The creepiest part is I look down at my dress, and it's red! 314 00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:46,160 I don't know what that means. Red is not my color. 315 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,080 What do you think? 316 00:18:50,121 --> 00:18:52,624 - I think you'd look good in red. - No, no. 317 00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:58,045 She means about your hair. 318 00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:01,840 [Peggy Chuckles] 319 00:19:06,218 --> 00:19:09,221 My jacket, please. 320 00:19:09,304 --> 00:19:11,890 Thank you. 321 00:19:11,931 --> 00:19:17,311 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can get some shampoo? Strong shampoo? 322 00:19:17,394 --> 00:19:21,147 Doc's pharmacy. Third and Elm. Tell 'em Pete sent ya. 323 00:19:21,231 --> 00:19:23,191 You want my hat? 324 00:19:23,274 --> 00:19:27,111 No, no, I'm fine. You might need it. 325 00:19:34,784 --> 00:19:39,163 Mr. Graham, if you're looking for Elm Street, it's that way. 326 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,414 Thank you. 327 00:19:41,498 --> 00:19:44,459 If you came down here in the pursuit of happiness, you might as well go back... 328 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,586 because you can't make me feel bad. 329 00:19:46,627 --> 00:19:50,839 I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm here for vindication. 330 00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:54,008 In my heart, I feel I'm right about you. 331 00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:55,676 Mmm. 332 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,803 You got me fired, lady. 333 00:19:57,887 --> 00:20:02,641 You destroyed my reputation, and you screwed up my hair. 334 00:20:02,682 --> 00:20:05,643 You chew up men, spit 'em out and love it. 335 00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:08,896 You're gonna do the same thing to this poor schmuck number four... 336 00:20:08,979 --> 00:20:11,440 that you did to the previous three. 337 00:20:11,481 --> 00:20:13,441 You're gonna run again. 338 00:20:13,483 --> 00:20:15,735 And I'm not leaving until you do. 339 00:20:17,153 --> 00:20:21,532 I'd love to stay and chat, but I still have my job. 340 00:20:28,371 --> 00:20:30,914 Hey, kid, kid, kid, wait a minute. 341 00:20:30,998 --> 00:20:32,958 - Give you ten bucks for the hat. - Sure! 342 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,627 That's right. 343 00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,507 Sheesh. 344 00:20:49,013 --> 00:20:51,015 [Bob Chuckles] 345 00:20:51,056 --> 00:20:54,226 I'm telling you, that is a photo opportunity. 346 00:20:54,309 --> 00:20:57,937 When I only see one dog, I know I've had too much to drink. 347 00:20:59,647 --> 00:21:01,774 Hey, you'll never guess... 348 00:21:01,857 --> 00:21:06,236 who came crawling into town with his tail between his legs. 349 00:21:06,319 --> 00:21:08,237 [Walter] Who? 350 00:21:08,321 --> 00:21:10,406 Hello, Maggie. 351 00:21:10,489 --> 00:21:14,034 [Ike] I just came over to apologize to your family. 352 00:21:14,117 --> 00:21:16,369 When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 353 00:21:16,453 --> 00:21:19,205 I pushed a story. I made a mistake. 354 00:21:19,288 --> 00:21:24,543 In other words, he's only human. And he brought us a bottle of wine. 355 00:21:24,626 --> 00:21:28,421 -Made me put my hat back on. -Yeah. It scared the hell outta Skipper. 356 00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:30,172 [Barks] 357 00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:32,466 You've gotta be kidding me. 358 00:21:32,549 --> 00:21:34,885 No, no. You should've seen Skipper. He was like-- [Barks] 359 00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,180 [Howls] 360 00:21:41,140 --> 00:21:43,308 It wasn't that... funny. 361 00:21:43,392 --> 00:21:46,228 Actually, it's been quite amusing. 362 00:21:46,269 --> 00:21:50,106 Walter, here, has been sharing his father of the bride wedding memories. 363 00:21:50,189 --> 00:21:52,775 You know what? 364 00:21:52,858 --> 00:21:56,778 I think I'll take this to the kitchen. [Mouthing Words] 365 00:21:56,862 --> 00:22:00,698 I'll help you bring it in... to the kitchen. 366 00:22:00,740 --> 00:22:02,992 - Check on the crabs, Bob. - Okay. 367 00:22:03,075 --> 00:22:05,410 -[Whispers] Is he staying for dinner? -I don't know. 368 00:22:05,452 --> 00:22:09,122 I hope they don't have a fight. You don't think they'd call it off, do you? 369 00:22:09,205 --> 00:22:13,584 Wedding cake freezes. This we know. [Chuckles] 370 00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:18,129 - You know, your daughter is such-- - [Gasps] Oh, I'm sorry. 371 00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:20,798 No, no, that's all right, Grandma. That's fine. 372 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,842 She's such a lovely girl. 373 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,761 Yeah. Well, like her mother. Look. 374 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:28,138 May she rest in peace. 375 00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:31,099 We were all so proud of Maggie when she was in school. 376 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:34,643 She won that American Legion scholarship to college. 377 00:22:34,727 --> 00:22:36,478 She studied industrial design. 378 00:22:36,562 --> 00:22:40,315 I can't see her leaving multiple grooms in the dust like that. 379 00:22:40,398 --> 00:22:43,317 Oh, yes, you can. She's got it all on tape. 380 00:22:44,610 --> 00:22:48,447 - Tape? - Yeah, they're all right there. 381 00:22:48,488 --> 00:22:50,782 You got tapes of the wedding? 382 00:22:50,824 --> 00:22:52,909 Lee, at the hotel, videos weddings. 383 00:22:52,992 --> 00:22:58,205 Course Maggie didn't know she was gonna be running the 100-yarddash. 384 00:22:58,288 --> 00:23:01,958 - I gotta say, she makes real good time. - Bingo! 385 00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:04,668 Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, 386 00:23:04,752 --> 00:23:06,670 but she is certainly the fastest. 387 00:23:06,754 --> 00:23:09,506 Ha, ha. 388 00:23:12,175 --> 00:23:15,469 Maggie's mom and I were only blessed with one child, 389 00:23:15,511 --> 00:23:17,513 not for a lack of trying. 390 00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:19,598 This is good, Dad. Don't leave anything out. 391 00:23:20,682 --> 00:23:22,684 I consider it a bonus... 392 00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:25,436 [Skipper Barks] 393 00:23:25,478 --> 00:23:29,106 that I'm actually able to plan and pay for so many weddings. 394 00:23:29,189 --> 00:23:31,524 Not this one. This one's on me. 395 00:23:31,608 --> 00:23:34,235 Oh! That's fair. 396 00:23:34,318 --> 00:23:38,489 I don't do it on purpose, and I have no intentions of doing it again. 397 00:23:38,572 --> 00:23:41,408 That's right, Maggie. Just keep your eye on the ball. 398 00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:45,911 Sports psychology. 399 00:23:45,995 --> 00:23:51,499 Bob is the head of the P.E. department at the high school. 400 00:23:51,583 --> 00:23:55,253 And he coaches the football team. And he's climbed Everest. 401 00:23:57,338 --> 00:24:00,090 - Everest? Is it true? - [Maggie] Twice. 402 00:24:00,173 --> 00:24:01,925 Without oxygen. 403 00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:05,136 - My girl, she likes to brag about me. - I do. 404 00:24:06,262 --> 00:24:09,306 Maggie's training for our wedding night. 405 00:24:09,389 --> 00:24:11,975 I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna for our honeymoon. 406 00:24:12,058 --> 00:24:15,269 - Oh, how romantic! - We think so. 407 00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:19,773 Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two Sherpas and a yak. 408 00:24:19,857 --> 00:24:22,108 [Laughing] 409 00:24:24,569 --> 00:24:27,571 Hey, Ike, how's it going? 410 00:24:27,655 --> 00:24:31,366 You won't believe what I'm looking at here. I got a video... 411 00:24:31,450 --> 00:24:33,368 of all three train wrecks. 412 00:24:33,451 --> 00:24:37,747 [Chavez] Here's my bride, who's my pride. 413 00:24:37,830 --> 00:24:40,290 I'll never hide when she's by my side. 414 00:24:40,374 --> 00:24:42,876 This is for you, Maggie, my "Sugar Magnolia." 415 00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:48,381 [Ike] You want the truth? You want the facts? I got 'em. 416 00:24:52,884 --> 00:24:55,053 I'll send you a copy of the notes. 417 00:24:55,136 --> 00:24:57,263 Good weekend reading for you. 418 00:24:57,346 --> 00:24:59,223 Love to Ellie. Okay, bye. 419 00:25:01,517 --> 00:25:03,643 [Male Singer] % Sweet blossom come on % 420 00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:05,019 % Under the willow % 421 00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:07,772 % We can have high times if you'll abide % 422 00:25:07,855 --> 00:25:10,608 % We can discover the wonders of nature % 423 00:25:10,649 --> 00:25:15,779 % Rolling in the rushes down by the riverside % 424 00:25:17,321 --> 00:25:19,740 % She's got everything delightful % 425 00:25:19,824 --> 00:25:22,701 % She's got everything I need % 426 00:25:22,784 --> 00:25:25,954 % Takes the wheel when I'm seeing double % 427 00:25:26,037 --> 00:25:28,581 % Pays my ticket when I speed % 428 00:25:30,791 --> 00:25:32,709 [Music Stops] 429 00:25:32,793 --> 00:25:35,795 Okay, preacher man, let's go! 430 00:25:35,837 --> 00:25:39,465 -[Chavez] Maggie, where're you goin'? -[Maggie] Sam! 431 00:25:39,507 --> 00:25:42,843 -[Maggie]Sam. Get back on the bike. -Okay. How was the wedding? 432 00:25:42,926 --> 00:25:46,721 Shorter than we planned. Just go. 433 00:25:46,805 --> 00:25:49,640 [Chavez] Okay, peace, baby. 434 00:25:51,517 --> 00:25:53,519 [Video Fast-Forwarding] 435 00:25:53,602 --> 00:25:55,604 %[Organ] 436 00:26:15,829 --> 00:26:19,415 [Female Singer] % ["Ave Maria"] 437 00:26:32,384 --> 00:26:36,221 [Concerned Murmuring] 438 00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:40,016 -[Man] Where is she going? -[Woman] Look, she's leaving. 439 00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:44,228 - [Woman #2] She forgot her purse. - No, she didn't forget her purse. 440 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:46,980 [Walter] Go after her! Do something! 441 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,693 [Chuckles] I don't believe this. 442 00:27:14,712 --> 00:27:17,422 [Minister] Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today-- 443 00:27:17,506 --> 00:27:20,050 [Whinnies] 444 00:27:20,133 --> 00:27:24,470 Could we hold the horse, please? What's wrong with the horse? 445 00:27:24,553 --> 00:27:28,140 The horse seems more jittery than the bride. 446 00:27:55,079 --> 00:27:56,747 I like the white tuxedo. 447 00:27:56,789 --> 00:27:59,082 Yeah, but he's no good 'cause he's too blond. 448 00:27:59,166 --> 00:28:02,293 All right. Then we just go with something very traditional. 449 00:28:02,377 --> 00:28:06,422 He's handsome. Maybe a little too dark for Bob. 450 00:28:06,463 --> 00:28:09,925 Yeah, but he's got the "Bobster's" eyes. 451 00:28:09,966 --> 00:28:13,428 No, no, no, no. The Bobster's eyes are closer set. Yeah. 452 00:28:13,469 --> 00:28:15,680 - Hello! Hi. - Hi. 453 00:28:15,763 --> 00:28:18,891 -Could I have two cups of coffee? And-- -Yes. 454 00:28:18,974 --> 00:28:21,685 [Sniffs] Mmm. What is that wonderful smell? 455 00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:24,312 Oh, the cinnamon rolls! 456 00:28:24,395 --> 00:28:26,730 - Could I have two of those? Thank you. - Yeah, sure. 457 00:28:26,814 --> 00:28:30,233 Okay. Uh, Maggie, I think this makes the best you. 458 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:31,860 [Whispering] Okay. 459 00:28:31,943 --> 00:28:36,906 Oh, let's see. Look at that. 460 00:28:36,989 --> 00:28:39,032 Excuse me. 461 00:28:39,116 --> 00:28:42,827 Oh, look at that. 462 00:28:42,911 --> 00:28:45,580 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! 463 00:28:45,663 --> 00:28:50,292 Ow, ow, ow! Help me! Help me! 464 00:28:50,334 --> 00:28:53,211 [Sighs] Yep, that'd be her. 465 00:28:54,837 --> 00:28:57,631 You must be that Mr. Graham fella. 466 00:28:57,673 --> 00:28:59,800 - Yes, I am! And you are? - [Laughing] 467 00:28:59,842 --> 00:29:02,719 - I'm Betty Trout. - Hi, Betty! 468 00:29:02,802 --> 00:29:06,139 Okay, I guess you'll be the one making the cake. 469 00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:08,015 Yes, I am. Sure. 470 00:29:08,099 --> 00:29:10,934 I'm also told that you will be throwing-- 471 00:29:11,018 --> 00:29:13,645 I'm throwing the luau for Maggie. 472 00:29:13,687 --> 00:29:16,481 Pre-wedding luau! 473 00:29:16,564 --> 00:29:18,691 If you're still in town, you should stop by. 474 00:29:18,774 --> 00:29:20,734 No, no, he doesn't want to come. 475 00:29:20,818 --> 00:29:22,861 I'd love to come. [Bell Rings] 476 00:29:22,944 --> 00:29:25,572 I will be there. Thank you. 477 00:29:25,655 --> 00:29:29,658 Is that what you're going to do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? 478 00:29:29,742 --> 00:29:30,909 No. 479 00:29:30,993 --> 00:29:34,079 I'll be back, Betty. 480 00:29:34,162 --> 00:29:37,040 Bye, Mr. Graham. 481 00:29:37,081 --> 00:29:39,417 - He's not a nice person. - Well, I know. 482 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:43,128 That's my pick. The eyes are perfect. 483 00:29:43,211 --> 00:29:47,465 [Cheerleaders] We always win. We never fail. 484 00:29:47,548 --> 00:29:51,969 We're the Comets, so go to Hale! % Let's go, Comets % 485 00:29:52,052 --> 00:29:55,722 % Let's go Let's go, Comets, let's go % 486 00:29:55,805 --> 00:29:58,766 - Hi, Miss Carpenter. - Hey, Kendall. 487 00:30:00,184 --> 00:30:04,980 Maggie, don't marry Coach. Marry me. I love you. 488 00:30:05,063 --> 00:30:09,859 You're jail bait, Dennis. Go away. Go away. Run your laps. Go, go! 489 00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:14,112 [Bob] Drive, drive, drive! From the hips! 490 00:30:14,196 --> 00:30:16,364 Keep it low now, keep it low! 491 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:20,076 [Whistle Blows] Good job, gentlemen. All right, special teams. 492 00:30:20,159 --> 00:30:22,745 Special teams. 493 00:30:22,828 --> 00:30:25,705 - Hey, honey, how are you? - Good. 494 00:30:25,747 --> 00:30:28,583 What is he up to now? 495 00:30:28,666 --> 00:30:30,918 Ike just dropped by to check out the team. 496 00:30:31,001 --> 00:30:32,670 And to talk about you! 497 00:30:32,753 --> 00:30:34,546 - Ahh! - Yes! 498 00:30:34,630 --> 00:30:37,090 You aren't making friends with this man, are you? 499 00:30:37,132 --> 00:30:40,509 I'm just bragging about how good you are. 500 00:30:40,593 --> 00:30:44,012 - And how I'm the luckiest man alive. - Mm-hmm! 501 00:30:45,180 --> 00:30:46,890 Sweetie. 502 00:30:46,932 --> 00:30:50,434 Well, I better be moving. 503 00:30:50,518 --> 00:30:52,937 Got a lot of work to do today. 504 00:30:52,978 --> 00:30:55,397 - See you two lovebirds later. - See you at the weddin'. 505 00:30:55,439 --> 00:30:59,359 - Yeah. Thanks for the jacket. - You invited him to the wedding? 506 00:30:59,442 --> 00:31:03,445 % Go, go, Comets Let's go % 507 00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:05,739 Don't you realize he's writing another article about me? 508 00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:06,615 Sure. 509 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:12,370 But you're not runnin'. Come on. Give me some of that homemade sunshine. 510 00:31:12,453 --> 00:31:17,165 Boys, take my princess for a ride on her chariot. 511 00:31:17,249 --> 00:31:19,084 Oh, my-- [Laughing] 512 00:31:25,464 --> 00:31:27,716 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. 513 00:31:27,799 --> 00:31:32,261 My last confession was-- Well, anyway. 514 00:31:32,345 --> 00:31:35,097 I have sort of a technical question. 515 00:31:35,180 --> 00:31:38,225 I've been having bad thoughts. 516 00:31:38,308 --> 00:31:41,144 Reallybadthoughts. 517 00:31:41,227 --> 00:31:44,105 - Of an impure nature? - No, no. 518 00:31:44,146 --> 00:31:50,068 I want to destroy this man's life, career, everything. I want revenge! 519 00:31:50,151 --> 00:31:53,487 Now, on the sin scale, howbadis that? 520 00:31:53,571 --> 00:31:56,865 Can I... "Hail Mary" my way out of that? 521 00:31:56,949 --> 00:32:00,493 -My child, any sin in one's heart is a-- -The name is Maggie. 522 00:32:00,577 --> 00:32:03,120 It was this side of ten years ago you had your tongue down my throat. 523 00:32:03,204 --> 00:32:06,248 So don't "my child" me, Brian, okay? It annoys me. 524 00:32:06,332 --> 00:32:08,709 Maggie, don't get so upset. 525 00:32:08,792 --> 00:32:11,961 Hey, hey! Don't-- Brian, talk to me. I need to talk to you. 526 00:32:12,045 --> 00:32:13,546 Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. 527 00:32:13,629 --> 00:32:16,298 You're not even Catholic so you really shouldn't be here. 528 00:32:16,382 --> 00:32:20,343 I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out about this slimeball reporter. 529 00:32:20,385 --> 00:32:23,346 And I wanted to come and tell you that he might stop by here... 530 00:32:23,387 --> 00:32:25,723 and ask you all kinds of ridiculous questions. 531 00:32:25,806 --> 00:32:28,767 Well, he only actually asked me one ridiculous question. 532 00:32:28,850 --> 00:32:30,810 The rest weren't so bad. 533 00:32:30,852 --> 00:32:34,522 What? Oh, you talked to him? 534 00:32:34,605 --> 00:32:37,941 Did you tell him we dated before you were a priest? 535 00:32:38,025 --> 00:32:41,528 Of course. I think I only did you good. 536 00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:43,863 W-What exactly did he ask? 537 00:32:43,946 --> 00:32:47,491 - Am I too late, Father? - No, no. 538 00:32:47,533 --> 00:32:51,036 - It won't take long. Just two venials. - Okay. 539 00:32:51,119 --> 00:32:53,580 Um, just respectful things. 540 00:32:53,663 --> 00:32:56,999 What kind of music did you like? What did we have in common? 541 00:32:57,082 --> 00:33:01,169 Did you ruin my life when you left me at the altar? 542 00:33:01,253 --> 00:33:03,713 Uh, what did you say? 543 00:33:03,796 --> 00:33:06,257 I said, you know, how could I be angry... 544 00:33:06,340 --> 00:33:11,344 when this is clearly as God intended for it to be for me? 545 00:33:11,470 --> 00:33:13,805 Good one! Thanks. 546 00:33:13,888 --> 00:33:18,767 But, actually, it's, it's really, really how I feel. 547 00:33:21,436 --> 00:33:22,854 Of course. God, yes. 548 00:33:22,937 --> 00:33:24,939 Not... [Whispers] God. 549 00:33:25,023 --> 00:33:26,482 [Whispers] Sorry. 550 00:33:26,566 --> 00:33:28,776 I better go. The man is a lunatic. 551 00:33:28,859 --> 00:33:31,695 But I think I know exactly where he's going next. 552 00:33:31,778 --> 00:33:33,697 [Whispering] God bless. 553 00:33:35,114 --> 00:33:37,366 Oh! Purse. 554 00:33:37,450 --> 00:33:40,494 Forgot my purse. 555 00:33:40,577 --> 00:33:42,913 Hi, sorry. Purse. 556 00:33:42,996 --> 00:33:45,206 Good luck. 557 00:33:45,290 --> 00:33:48,000 What was the one ridiculous question that he asked? 558 00:33:48,084 --> 00:33:51,170 He wanted to know how you liked your eggs. 559 00:33:51,253 --> 00:33:53,046 Oh, weird. 560 00:33:53,129 --> 00:33:55,256 Like a person's gonna remember after all this time. 561 00:33:55,340 --> 00:33:59,301 Scrambled with salt, pepper and dill. Same as me. 562 00:34:03,430 --> 00:34:05,765 I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian. 563 00:34:07,391 --> 00:34:11,562 Maggie, I'm happy now... here. It's where I'm supposed to be. 564 00:34:11,645 --> 00:34:16,024 But... if you ever do decide to become a Catholic, will you do me this favor? 565 00:34:16,107 --> 00:34:18,025 Confess to Father Patrick. 566 00:34:18,109 --> 00:34:20,694 Of course. 567 00:34:35,498 --> 00:34:38,042 - Gill? Lydia? - Mags! 568 00:34:38,126 --> 00:34:40,878 Hey, look, the tape. Remember? 569 00:34:40,961 --> 00:34:42,921 Radio City Music Hall concert... 570 00:34:43,005 --> 00:34:45,966 when Jerry was on "Ripple," and I'm going like, "Dude, let me jam." 571 00:34:46,049 --> 00:34:48,092 - Gill, listen-- - I'll play it for you. 572 00:34:48,176 --> 00:34:51,095 - You remember, Maggie. You were there. - Can you focus on me? 573 00:34:51,178 --> 00:34:53,931 There's this reporter who's making my life a living hell. 574 00:34:54,014 --> 00:34:55,348 Okay. 575 00:34:55,432 --> 00:34:58,059 And whatever you do, 576 00:34:58,142 --> 00:35:02,062 do not show him that picture of me from the concert in San Francisco. 577 00:35:02,146 --> 00:35:04,189 - Okay? Can you-- - [Ike Laughing] 578 00:35:04,273 --> 00:35:08,651 - What is that? - Uh-- Wait. San Francisco? 579 00:35:08,735 --> 00:35:11,278 But we went there a few times. There's a lot of pictures. 580 00:35:11,362 --> 00:35:14,364 Which picture? Because one time we had a flat tire. Remember? 581 00:35:14,448 --> 00:35:16,116 Imagine! 582 00:35:16,199 --> 00:35:21,620 Maggie Carpenter topless in a public arena. 583 00:35:21,662 --> 00:35:24,331 Mmm. Oh, yeah. 584 00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:27,625 I see it was a very chilly evening. 585 00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:29,961 Mm-hmm. 586 00:35:32,963 --> 00:35:35,882 What's really interesting about this, though, 587 00:35:35,966 --> 00:35:39,886 is that you can't see that rose tattoo... 588 00:35:39,969 --> 00:35:43,722 - on your back. - [Chuckles] 589 00:35:43,806 --> 00:35:47,475 Oh, yeah. Ike bet me 50 bucks that you don't still have it. 590 00:35:47,559 --> 00:35:50,895 I said, "You're on, man. Maggie loved that thing." 591 00:35:50,978 --> 00:35:53,981 And, seriously, I mean, I could use 50 bucks. 592 00:35:54,064 --> 00:35:57,150 - Mm-hmm. - Maggie? 593 00:35:57,234 --> 00:35:59,152 Just-- 594 00:36:02,947 --> 00:36:05,157 Look, I'm not gonna show you guys anything. 595 00:36:05,199 --> 00:36:08,994 I am a soon-to-be-married woman. So just give me the photograph! 596 00:36:09,035 --> 00:36:11,079 I would love to give you this. Believe me, I would. 597 00:36:11,162 --> 00:36:15,040 Just give us a quick gander at that rose, 598 00:36:15,124 --> 00:36:17,042 and I'll gladly turn it over to you. 599 00:36:17,125 --> 00:36:19,919 Fine. Fine. Okay, fine. 600 00:36:21,671 --> 00:36:24,006 Okay? All right? 601 00:36:24,048 --> 00:36:26,800 - [Clears Throat] Satisfied? - Completely. 602 00:36:26,884 --> 00:36:31,471 - Maggie, you got it removed? - Gill-- 603 00:36:31,554 --> 00:36:34,974 Gill, I'll go you double or nothing it was a stick on. 604 00:36:37,017 --> 00:36:38,935 Maggie? 605 00:36:42,689 --> 00:36:45,316 Gill, I am... 606 00:36:45,399 --> 00:36:48,193 really, really... 607 00:36:48,277 --> 00:36:50,987 afraid of needles. 608 00:36:51,071 --> 00:36:53,156 - But that doesn't make me a bad person. - Look. 609 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,200 Look! Look! 610 00:36:56,242 --> 00:36:58,577 I think this man is heartbroken. 611 00:36:58,660 --> 00:37:00,829 - No, he's not. - I think I am. 612 00:37:02,163 --> 00:37:04,498 No, you're, you're not! 613 00:37:04,582 --> 00:37:08,210 You have your guitar, and you have Lydia. You're not-- 614 00:37:08,293 --> 00:37:11,129 % [Guitar] 615 00:37:11,212 --> 00:37:14,549 We'll talk about this later. Okay? 616 00:37:19,928 --> 00:37:22,222 Hey, Ike? 617 00:37:22,305 --> 00:37:25,516 - What would Jerry do? - He'd play. 618 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:28,352 -Jerry would play! - He would play! 619 00:37:40,862 --> 00:37:42,781 Well, there's Ike... 620 00:37:42,864 --> 00:37:45,241 with the mayor and the police chief. 621 00:37:45,283 --> 00:37:47,284 Boy, he sure makes friends easy. 622 00:37:47,326 --> 00:37:50,287 That's pretty cool. 623 00:37:57,918 --> 00:37:59,711 - Oh, yeah! - That's right! 624 00:38:04,799 --> 00:38:07,260 - Hey, you're that reporter, right? - Yeah. 625 00:38:07,343 --> 00:38:09,762 There he is again! 626 00:38:09,845 --> 00:38:12,013 Snoop Doggy Dogg! 627 00:38:12,097 --> 00:38:15,308 - I'm going to marry Maggie someday. - Oh, really? 628 00:38:15,391 --> 00:38:18,769 He's an attractive man. 629 00:38:18,811 --> 00:38:22,522 The vicious reporter is attractive? You're saying viciousness is attractive? 630 00:38:22,606 --> 00:38:24,774 No, I'm not saying viciousness is attractive. 631 00:38:28,611 --> 00:38:30,321 He's coming. 632 00:38:30,404 --> 00:38:31,738 I better go-- 633 00:38:31,822 --> 00:38:34,324 No, no, no. Don't leave. Uh, act natural. 634 00:38:34,407 --> 00:38:37,577 - Okay. - He can probably read lips. 635 00:38:37,660 --> 00:38:41,663 The famous Swenson triplets. Gimme 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. 636 00:38:41,747 --> 00:38:45,125 - I will handle this. - Don't move your lips! Okay? Go on. 637 00:38:45,166 --> 00:38:48,794 I will handle this! I won't say anything. 638 00:38:48,836 --> 00:38:51,046 - Okay. - I'll handle it. 639 00:38:52,881 --> 00:38:56,676 Yeah, Cory! 640 00:38:56,759 --> 00:38:58,719 - Hey, Peggy Flemming! - Hey. 641 00:38:58,803 --> 00:39:01,472 - Not the ice skater. - That's Maggie's seat. 642 00:39:01,513 --> 00:39:04,141 Yes, and this must be her beer too. 643 00:39:04,224 --> 00:39:06,309 - [Cory]Hey! - Hey, sweetie! 644 00:39:06,392 --> 00:39:09,312 [Ike] That your husband out here? 645 00:39:09,395 --> 00:39:12,314 - Yeah. - This is Cory? Cory Flemming? 646 00:39:12,356 --> 00:39:14,649 He's a radio announcer here, isn't he? 647 00:39:14,691 --> 00:39:18,069 Yeah, that's right. Have you heard his morning show, "Wake up with Flemm"? 648 00:39:19,654 --> 00:39:21,572 Not yet. 649 00:39:21,655 --> 00:39:26,076 [Grandma Over P.A.]Now up, Atlantic Hotel's Lee Mistlehorne. 650 00:39:26,159 --> 00:39:28,202 He actually made the all-stars in high school. 651 00:39:28,286 --> 00:39:30,538 Really? You must be proud of him. 652 00:39:30,621 --> 00:39:32,539 I didn't really know him back then. 653 00:39:32,623 --> 00:39:37,460 He was actually dating Maggie... at the time. 654 00:39:37,544 --> 00:39:42,006 I mean, he never really-- They were never gonna... 655 00:39:42,089 --> 00:39:44,925 get engaged or anything, it was just like, you know. 656 00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:47,927 Sometimes he'd call her Magpie, and it was really irritating. 657 00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:50,972 But-- I don't know why I'm telling you this. 658 00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:52,515 No, this is good. 659 00:39:55,017 --> 00:39:57,310 - He's stealing third! - Yes! 660 00:39:57,394 --> 00:39:59,103 [Bob] Safe. 661 00:39:59,187 --> 00:40:01,856 Excellent. 662 00:40:05,359 --> 00:40:07,736 Yes! Yes! Whoo! 663 00:40:09,237 --> 00:40:11,530 Safe! 664 00:40:11,614 --> 00:40:15,117 - I love it! - Uh-huh! 665 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,827 - Good one! - Magpie! 666 00:40:19,787 --> 00:40:21,706 Just-- 667 00:40:21,789 --> 00:40:23,707 Excellent! 668 00:40:25,334 --> 00:40:29,504 It's nice that they're... still friends. 669 00:40:31,631 --> 00:40:36,385 Yeah, I mean, that was just a long time ago. And, you know, it's just-- 670 00:40:38,762 --> 00:40:41,681 So-- Excuse me. 671 00:40:41,764 --> 00:40:44,475 - You all right? - Yeah! 672 00:40:44,558 --> 00:40:47,144 [Grandma Over P.A.] That makes it Alumni, nine, Hale students, eight. 673 00:40:47,227 --> 00:40:50,813 - Hey, Peggy? - Hey! 674 00:40:50,897 --> 00:40:55,901 [Grandma] Cookies for today's game were donated by Betty Trout. 675 00:40:57,110 --> 00:41:01,030 Now up for the Comets, Jordan Hill. 676 00:41:01,114 --> 00:41:03,074 You have been here, what, like three minutes? 677 00:41:03,157 --> 00:41:04,617 What did you do to her? 678 00:41:04,700 --> 00:41:09,121 -You could just turn that finger around. -Excuse me? 679 00:41:09,204 --> 00:41:12,957 Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory! Pow, pow, pow, pow. What is this about? 680 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,960 You know what? We have all been friends our entire lives. 681 00:41:16,043 --> 00:41:18,920 A type of relationship that you obviously don't understand. 682 00:41:19,004 --> 00:41:22,298 I'm not the only one who does not understand. 683 00:41:22,382 --> 00:41:25,968 The U.S.S. Maggie leaves quite a wake. 684 00:41:26,051 --> 00:41:28,011 Excuse me. 685 00:41:33,182 --> 00:41:37,061 Pot-stirrer man. 686 00:41:43,858 --> 00:41:46,318 [Grandma] Cory Flemming to Lee Mistlehorne to Dr. Ettinger. 687 00:41:46,402 --> 00:41:49,154 Hey. All right. 688 00:41:50,322 --> 00:41:53,074 That's cheering. I'm cheering normal. 689 00:41:53,157 --> 00:41:56,202 Cheer. Normal. 690 00:41:58,370 --> 00:42:02,332 - [Woman] Good morning, Peggy. - Good morning. 691 00:42:12,299 --> 00:42:15,009 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 692 00:42:16,677 --> 00:42:20,639 Good morning to you too. You look good. 693 00:42:20,681 --> 00:42:23,433 Thank you. 694 00:42:23,516 --> 00:42:25,893 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 695 00:42:25,977 --> 00:42:29,813 - Yes. - I don't mean to. 696 00:42:29,897 --> 00:42:33,066 I know. I think sometimes you just sort of... 697 00:42:33,149 --> 00:42:36,527 spaz out with excess flirtatious energy, 698 00:42:36,569 --> 00:42:40,405 and it just lands on anything male that moves. 699 00:42:40,489 --> 00:42:43,241 Anything male that moves? 700 00:42:43,325 --> 00:42:46,744 As opposed to anything male that doesn't? 701 00:42:48,245 --> 00:42:51,748 Well, like certain kinds of coral. 702 00:42:52,749 --> 00:42:55,543 I'm definitely going to have to kill myself today. 703 00:42:55,585 --> 00:42:56,586 Why? 704 00:42:56,669 --> 00:43:00,714 Because you think I'm all like, "Hey, man, check me out." 705 00:43:00,798 --> 00:43:05,343 No, I don't. I think you're like... 706 00:43:05,426 --> 00:43:09,388 "I'm charming and mysterious in a way that even I don't understand, 707 00:43:09,430 --> 00:43:15,143 and something about me is crying out for protection from a big man like you." 708 00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:17,270 It's very hard to compete with. 709 00:43:17,353 --> 00:43:21,023 Especially as... married women who've lost our mystery. 710 00:43:21,106 --> 00:43:25,276 Lost-- You have-- You are totally mysterious. 711 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,403 No. I'm weird. 712 00:43:27,487 --> 00:43:31,240 Weird and mysterious are two very different things. 713 00:43:31,323 --> 00:43:34,743 - I'm weird. - No, you're quirky. 714 00:43:34,784 --> 00:43:39,580 Quirky and weird are two very different things. 715 00:43:41,582 --> 00:43:45,877 Peggy, I think there is a distinct possibility... 716 00:43:45,961 --> 00:43:50,381 that I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. 717 00:43:52,132 --> 00:43:54,051 Despite that, 718 00:43:54,134 --> 00:43:57,512 I love you and I promise... 719 00:43:57,595 --> 00:43:59,931 to no longer flirt with Cory. 720 00:44:01,390 --> 00:44:04,768 Maggie, I'm not worried about you and Cory, 721 00:44:04,810 --> 00:44:07,312 or me and Cory, 722 00:44:07,395 --> 00:44:11,190 or you being irreversibly screwed up. 723 00:44:11,273 --> 00:44:14,568 Maggie, you've been like this since we were kids. 724 00:44:14,651 --> 00:44:19,072 And all I'm thinking is, now that you're aware of it, 725 00:44:19,155 --> 00:44:21,449 and that it hurts people's feelings sometimes, 726 00:44:21,490 --> 00:44:26,411 maybe it's time to get on with life, and commit to someone of your own, 727 00:44:26,495 --> 00:44:29,247 like Bob, if he's the one. 728 00:44:30,373 --> 00:44:32,291 I know. 729 00:44:35,836 --> 00:44:39,589 Is there anything I can do to... make it up to you? 730 00:44:39,672 --> 00:44:43,425 Well, there's always... 731 00:44:43,509 --> 00:44:47,304 the thing that brings warmth to my heart, 732 00:44:47,387 --> 00:44:49,347 and that is duckbill platypus. 733 00:44:49,430 --> 00:44:53,642 Duckbill-- That is only funny in like Camp Birchwood on... 734 00:44:53,726 --> 00:44:55,477 Just do it. 735 00:44:55,519 --> 00:44:57,812 a trip with the tent and my leg as the pole and it's raining. 736 00:44:57,854 --> 00:44:59,814 And you know. That's the only time that's funny. 737 00:44:59,856 --> 00:45:02,983 Let's just see. 738 00:45:04,693 --> 00:45:06,320 Oh. 739 00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:15,828 [Chuckling] 740 00:45:17,204 --> 00:45:20,039 It's so humiliating. 741 00:45:20,123 --> 00:45:21,874 Thank you. 742 00:45:23,668 --> 00:45:25,794 Thank you. 743 00:45:26,003 --> 00:45:28,255 [Barbershop Quartet] % Farewell, ladies % 744 00:45:28,338 --> 00:45:32,508 % Farewell, ladies We're going to leave you now % 745 00:45:32,550 --> 00:45:36,845 % Merrily we roll along roll along, roll along % 746 00:45:38,555 --> 00:45:41,474 Lee. Hey, wake up. Hey! 747 00:45:41,558 --> 00:45:43,351 - Hello? - Hi. 748 00:45:43,434 --> 00:45:46,186 Gimme the key to the reporter's room. I wanna snoop around. 749 00:45:46,270 --> 00:45:48,355 - Come on, quick. Wake up. - Second floor. 750 00:45:48,438 --> 00:45:51,357 - Thank you. - Don't take anything big. 751 00:45:51,399 --> 00:45:53,818 Okay. 752 00:46:10,165 --> 00:46:12,083 Shh. 753 00:46:18,255 --> 00:46:20,173 Hmm. 754 00:46:21,424 --> 00:46:23,384 Hopefully his favorite. 755 00:46:23,426 --> 00:46:26,095 [Fisher Over Cell Phone] My theory is she's running... 756 00:46:26,178 --> 00:46:28,180 because she gets negative attention. 757 00:46:28,263 --> 00:46:30,223 Negative attention is attention. 758 00:46:30,265 --> 00:46:33,560 You know, like when women whack you on the street because of your column. 759 00:46:33,643 --> 00:46:35,144 That's negative attention. 760 00:46:35,228 --> 00:46:38,188 We're talking about her negative attention, not mine. 761 00:46:46,946 --> 00:46:49,573 "How does she get all those guys to propose? 762 00:46:49,656 --> 00:46:52,575 She's not that beautiful.'' 763 00:46:52,659 --> 00:46:55,119 Bite me, paperboy. 764 00:46:58,497 --> 00:47:01,291 Ah, hey! Hey! 765 00:47:01,375 --> 00:47:02,667 Hi, Ike. 766 00:47:02,751 --> 00:47:06,712 You put your shoes out at night, they're real shiny in the mornin'. 767 00:47:06,796 --> 00:47:10,549 - Sometimes they don't bring 'em back. - Mmm, why take a chance? 768 00:47:10,632 --> 00:47:12,551 Good night. 769 00:47:26,354 --> 00:47:29,607 All right. I know you're in there. I saw you. 770 00:47:31,567 --> 00:47:34,277 You realize you're messing with the First Amendment now. 771 00:47:34,361 --> 00:47:37,613 [Knocking On Door] Come on, open up. 772 00:47:37,697 --> 00:47:39,990 Come on! 773 00:47:40,074 --> 00:47:42,075 We should have a very serious discussion... 774 00:47:42,117 --> 00:47:44,911 about why you are such a pain in the ass! 775 00:47:44,953 --> 00:47:46,454 Open the door! 776 00:47:46,496 --> 00:47:49,123 I'm coming in. I'm coming through. 777 00:47:49,206 --> 00:47:51,333 It's your last chance. Here I come! 778 00:47:51,417 --> 00:47:53,251 Here I come! 779 00:47:55,003 --> 00:47:56,963 All right. 780 00:47:57,005 --> 00:48:01,759 Breaking and entering. That's a felony. I'm calling the sheriff. 781 00:48:01,842 --> 00:48:03,635 You know what? You do that. 782 00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:07,180 Can you remind him that's he's bringing the wine to the luau? 783 00:48:07,263 --> 00:48:11,100 [Whispering] It'll save me a call. Thanks so much. 784 00:48:11,141 --> 00:48:13,268 Hey, Ike, does your friend have a sister? 785 00:48:13,352 --> 00:48:16,938 Wait for the original. She'll be available in a week. 786 00:48:20,524 --> 00:48:23,318 %[Jazz] 787 00:48:47,213 --> 00:48:49,298 [Maggie Crowing] 788 00:48:49,340 --> 00:48:52,468 [Crowing Continues] 789 00:48:52,551 --> 00:48:55,846 [Crowing] 790 00:48:58,556 --> 00:49:02,476 Freeze. Oh, hold on to those covers. I didn't come to see Ike Junior. 791 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:07,355 [Sighs] I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. 792 00:49:09,023 --> 00:49:13,027 So, your notes made for... interesting reading. 793 00:49:13,110 --> 00:49:14,611 What's your point? 794 00:49:14,695 --> 00:49:16,905 My point is, once again, you're getting it all wrong. 795 00:49:16,988 --> 00:49:19,365 And that's not gonna improve your reputation, 796 00:49:19,449 --> 00:49:21,993 and it's not very flattering to me either. 797 00:49:22,034 --> 00:49:26,038 So, I decided that I would help you write the truth. 798 00:49:26,121 --> 00:49:27,956 - [Chuckles] Really? - Mm-hmm. 799 00:49:28,039 --> 00:49:30,958 Oh. 800 00:49:31,042 --> 00:49:35,212 I've decided to cooperate and let you interview me... 801 00:49:35,254 --> 00:49:38,381 - for $1,000. - [Groans] 802 00:49:38,465 --> 00:49:40,550 I want a big wedding and a killer dress. 803 00:49:40,633 --> 00:49:45,888 And for a grand, I will answer all your questions and let you follow me around. 804 00:49:45,929 --> 00:49:50,225 The magazine does not spend money for stories. 805 00:49:50,266 --> 00:49:52,393 - It's not what you would call ethical. - Oh. 806 00:49:52,477 --> 00:49:54,603 I meant you. 807 00:49:54,687 --> 00:49:58,899 I figured you probably got severance or expenses or both. 808 00:49:58,940 --> 00:50:02,235 I'm guessing that you're writing on spec. 809 00:50:02,276 --> 00:50:06,238 And with a first-person interview, you might actually sell that thing. 810 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,783 - Too much. - Seven-fifty. 811 00:50:09,950 --> 00:50:11,909 - Five hundred. - Six-fifty. 812 00:50:11,951 --> 00:50:15,037 Done. 813 00:50:15,121 --> 00:50:18,999 % [Ike Whistling Tune To "The Andy Griffith Show"] 814 00:50:19,082 --> 00:50:23,169 Is that supposed to be a joke? I know what you're whistling. 815 00:50:23,252 --> 00:50:25,171 - Hello. - Hi. 816 00:50:27,464 --> 00:50:30,467 This is a birthday present for my cousin. 817 00:50:30,508 --> 00:50:32,010 [Motor Whirring] 818 00:50:32,093 --> 00:50:35,262 [Chuckles] That's great. 819 00:50:35,346 --> 00:50:39,933 Wonderful stuff. All these found industrial parts and things. 820 00:50:40,016 --> 00:50:41,976 A lamp tree. 821 00:50:42,018 --> 00:50:43,978 That's great. 822 00:50:44,020 --> 00:50:47,940 - Is this-- That's your preferred logo? - I think so. 823 00:50:47,981 --> 00:50:49,983 It's nice. The whole thing is great. 824 00:50:50,067 --> 00:50:52,110 I think you could sell these lamps in New York. 825 00:50:52,193 --> 00:50:54,612 Maybe someday. 826 00:50:54,654 --> 00:50:58,282 - You afraid to try? - No, no. I'm not afraid. 827 00:50:58,323 --> 00:51:01,660 Just... someday. 828 00:51:03,328 --> 00:51:05,871 This is Brian. 829 00:51:05,955 --> 00:51:08,207 Oh, Father Brian. 830 00:51:08,290 --> 00:51:12,252 - And Gill's, of course. - Gill, yeah. 831 00:51:12,335 --> 00:51:15,546 And... George. 832 00:51:15,630 --> 00:51:19,299 He proposed at a butterfly farm in Saint Thomas. 833 00:51:19,341 --> 00:51:21,426 The ring was inside a cocoon. 834 00:51:21,510 --> 00:51:25,930 Ahh. A little too Silence of the Lambs for my taste, but-- 835 00:51:26,013 --> 00:51:29,058 Well, he's an entomologist. I thought it was very unique. 836 00:51:29,141 --> 00:51:31,893 - And finally, Bob. - Mmm. 837 00:51:31,977 --> 00:51:34,229 He proposed during the seventh inning stretch... 838 00:51:36,022 --> 00:51:39,316 at an Oriole game. 839 00:51:39,358 --> 00:51:42,527 Wait, wait. Wait, don't tell me. 840 00:51:42,611 --> 00:51:45,905 The scoreboard lit up with "Marry me, Maggie." 841 00:51:45,988 --> 00:51:48,657 It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. 842 00:51:48,741 --> 00:51:51,159 Highly suspect. 843 00:51:51,201 --> 00:51:54,496 What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic. 844 00:51:54,537 --> 00:51:57,873 Look, maybe it's just me, but... 845 00:51:57,957 --> 00:52:01,793 if you gotta dress it up like that, it just doesn't ring true. 846 00:52:01,877 --> 00:52:06,297 You know, l, I think the most... 847 00:52:06,381 --> 00:52:08,758 that anybody can honestly say is: 848 00:52:08,841 --> 00:52:14,012 "Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee... 849 00:52:14,054 --> 00:52:18,849 "at some point one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. 850 00:52:18,933 --> 00:52:23,228 "But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, 851 00:52:23,311 --> 00:52:25,939 "I'll regret it the rest of my life. 852 00:52:26,022 --> 00:52:30,526 "Because I know in my heart... 853 00:52:31,985 --> 00:52:34,529 you're the only one for me." 854 00:52:37,782 --> 00:52:39,742 I like it. 855 00:52:40,868 --> 00:52:43,161 I'd like it better on a scoreboard. 856 00:52:46,289 --> 00:52:50,543 So, is that what you said when you asked your wife to marry you? 857 00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:53,670 Don't look so surprised. You've got "divorce" written all over you. 858 00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:57,882 I'm a work-in-progress. 859 00:52:57,924 --> 00:53:01,218 So, is that what you said to her? 860 00:53:01,260 --> 00:53:04,263 No. I think I said something very eloquent like, 861 00:53:04,346 --> 00:53:06,806 "So, um, 862 00:53:06,890 --> 00:53:09,851 "maybe you and I should, you know-- 863 00:53:09,934 --> 00:53:12,645 What do you think? Huh?'' 864 00:53:13,937 --> 00:53:16,231 Now, that's romantic. 865 00:53:16,314 --> 00:53:19,484 And with a proposal like that, you didn't find eternal bliss? 866 00:53:19,567 --> 00:53:22,403 - [Sighs] - What went wrong? 867 00:53:22,486 --> 00:53:24,446 I don't know. 868 00:53:24,488 --> 00:53:28,408 - You don't know? - No. 869 00:53:28,449 --> 00:53:32,536 Maybe you should ask her sometime. Ever thought of that? 870 00:53:32,620 --> 00:53:35,330 [Chuckles] 871 00:53:41,961 --> 00:53:44,088 [Maggie] Even with everything that's happened, 872 00:53:44,171 --> 00:53:46,006 I have still never been married. 873 00:53:46,089 --> 00:53:49,676 And I still deserve a beautiful dress. 874 00:53:51,594 --> 00:53:53,929 - [Doorbells Tinkle] - Mrs. Whittenmeyer? 875 00:53:54,013 --> 00:53:55,973 Where are you going? 876 00:53:56,014 --> 00:53:58,183 - Hi, Polly. - Hi, Maggie. 877 00:53:58,266 --> 00:54:01,185 You'll have to excuse her. Some of the children are afraid of you... 878 00:54:01,269 --> 00:54:03,729 since you dragged that little boy up the aisle. 879 00:54:03,813 --> 00:54:05,731 Drag-- No. I didn't, I didn't-- 880 00:54:05,814 --> 00:54:08,108 He tripped on his own shoelaces. 881 00:54:08,191 --> 00:54:11,361 You've come for your dress. Good. It's in the back. I'll get it. 882 00:54:11,444 --> 00:54:16,156 Actually, Mrs. Whittenmeyer, I decided... 883 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:19,117 - that I want to get this dress. - Oh. 884 00:54:19,159 --> 00:54:22,078 The one you have on hold is lovely, dear. 885 00:54:22,161 --> 00:54:25,914 I know, but I've just-- I've changed my mind. 886 00:54:25,998 --> 00:54:28,208 This is $ 1 ,000. 887 00:54:28,291 --> 00:54:31,085 And I have $ 1 ,000. 888 00:54:31,169 --> 00:54:34,213 [Mrs. Whittenmeyer] The other one is only $300, dear. 889 00:54:34,296 --> 00:54:38,633 Um-- Is that dress for sale? 890 00:54:38,717 --> 00:54:43,137 It's just a lot of money to spend on one of your dresses, Maggie. 891 00:54:43,179 --> 00:54:47,057 After all, you only wear them for about ten minutes or so. 892 00:54:52,395 --> 00:54:54,355 Um, yeah, yeah. 893 00:54:54,438 --> 00:54:57,608 I guess that's true. 894 00:54:59,401 --> 00:55:02,862 Uh, the other dress is, is nice. 895 00:55:02,904 --> 00:55:05,114 - Mrs. Whittenheimer? - Meyer. 896 00:55:05,197 --> 00:55:07,866 Whittenmeyer. Could I talk to you just for a second? 897 00:55:07,950 --> 00:55:10,243 Come here. I don't know much about this kind of thing. 898 00:55:10,327 --> 00:55:14,789 I'm from out of town. But you're a salesperson, right? 899 00:55:14,872 --> 00:55:18,000 - You're here to sell wedding dresses. - I've been here 30 years. 900 00:55:18,041 --> 00:55:21,836 Perfect! Because Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. 901 00:55:21,878 --> 00:55:24,881 Ah. But not just any one. She wants that one. 902 00:55:24,922 --> 00:55:28,467 - It's $1,000! - Listen, Aunt Bee. 903 00:55:30,510 --> 00:55:33,972 Verbal communication was never perfect for me. Let's try visual, all right? 904 00:55:36,390 --> 00:55:38,600 [Ike] We're buying the dress. 905 00:55:38,684 --> 00:55:41,353 Now, we'll have this nice beautiful dress. 906 00:55:41,394 --> 00:55:45,022 And anything else she wants, it's hers. Okay? All right? 907 00:55:52,237 --> 00:55:54,864 [Sighs] What do you think? 908 00:56:02,537 --> 00:56:04,455 Hmm? 909 00:56:07,958 --> 00:56:11,003 [Sighs] 910 00:56:11,086 --> 00:56:13,880 You look-- 911 00:56:20,177 --> 00:56:22,220 [Sniffs] You look fine. 912 00:56:22,304 --> 00:56:24,889 Fine. 913 00:56:26,516 --> 00:56:28,517 [Clears Throat] 914 00:56:28,601 --> 00:56:31,353 You're reading your newspaper upside down. 915 00:56:31,436 --> 00:56:33,730 That's gotta be better than "fine." 916 00:56:33,772 --> 00:56:36,399 Yeah. 917 00:56:36,482 --> 00:56:38,442 Come on, now. Admire me. 918 00:56:38,484 --> 00:56:40,736 Get the whole picture. Right? 919 00:56:40,778 --> 00:56:42,779 I'm gonna have my hair up somehow. 920 00:56:42,863 --> 00:56:44,823 I don't know. Maybe with a little in the back. 921 00:56:44,906 --> 00:56:47,825 And, my favorite feature... 922 00:56:47,909 --> 00:56:52,788 is that it kind of swishes like a bell when I move. 923 00:56:54,414 --> 00:56:56,249 [Maggie] % Ding, ding % 924 00:56:56,332 --> 00:56:59,210 % Ding, ding % 925 00:57:00,961 --> 00:57:02,880 It works. 926 00:57:02,963 --> 00:57:05,715 Bob will be very happy. 927 00:57:05,799 --> 00:57:10,636 Oh, Bob! We gotta go. We gotta go meet Bob. 928 00:57:10,761 --> 00:57:14,014 Oh, jeez, yeah, I'm goin' to the luau. I never miss it. The barbershop-- 929 00:57:14,056 --> 00:57:17,225 Mrs. Pressman, we're ready to order here, I think. 930 00:57:17,308 --> 00:57:19,185 I'm all out of the special-- 931 00:57:19,227 --> 00:57:22,187 That's all right. I'm gonna have the garden omelet, egg whites only. 932 00:57:22,229 --> 00:57:25,023 - Okay. - That sounds good. I'll have the same. 933 00:57:25,065 --> 00:57:26,566 Of course. 934 00:57:26,649 --> 00:57:30,986 What is that? I can't even order eggs without sarcasm from you? 935 00:57:31,070 --> 00:57:32,571 [Clears Throat] 936 00:57:32,654 --> 00:57:34,865 - You're on the same team now. - What is that sound? 937 00:57:34,906 --> 00:57:36,783 [Clears Throat] Have some water. 938 00:57:36,866 --> 00:57:40,203 - Penalty box. Penalty box. Hmm? - What is it? Fur ball? 939 00:57:40,286 --> 00:57:43,622 Ike, Maggie is the sweetest person you're ever gonna meet. 940 00:57:43,705 --> 00:57:45,791 But she focuses too much out there. 941 00:57:45,874 --> 00:57:48,334 She needs to start focusing more in here. 942 00:57:48,418 --> 00:57:50,920 That's why I think she's had, uh, 943 00:57:51,003 --> 00:57:56,091 whatever you wanna call 'em-- problems in the past. 944 00:57:56,174 --> 00:57:58,885 And that's what we're working on. Focus. 945 00:57:58,927 --> 00:58:02,388 -Focus. Focus on Maggie. Focus. - Mm-hmm. 946 00:58:02,471 --> 00:58:05,390 Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob. 947 00:58:05,474 --> 00:58:08,351 I've been runnin' Maggie through these visualization exercises. 948 00:58:08,435 --> 00:58:11,103 All the sports shrinks use this head stuff. 949 00:58:11,187 --> 00:58:13,689 Visualize the end zone. 950 00:58:13,772 --> 00:58:18,234 Visualize that hole-in-one. 951 00:58:18,276 --> 00:58:22,154 Tell me. When you get to the altar, do you spike the bouquet? 952 00:58:22,238 --> 00:58:25,240 - Okay, you know what-- - Well, I'm off. 953 00:58:25,324 --> 00:58:27,826 A reporter's work is never done. 954 00:58:27,909 --> 00:58:29,827 See you later. Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you. 955 00:58:29,911 --> 00:58:34,164 I'm gonna go focus on your eggs, Bob. 956 00:58:35,666 --> 00:58:38,126 I'm glad you're here. I wanted to try to explain. 957 00:58:38,210 --> 00:58:42,421 There are reasons why there have been three weddings and no "I do's." 958 00:58:42,463 --> 00:58:45,966 You can't believe how much cake we got stuck with! 959 00:58:46,049 --> 00:58:48,260 It's a wonder I don't weigh 300 pounds! 960 00:58:48,301 --> 00:58:51,179 And then, her father bought all that booze that nobody drank. 961 00:58:51,262 --> 00:58:53,180 - But he didn't mind that-- - Hi, Grandma. 962 00:58:53,264 --> 00:58:55,349 [Makes Kissing Sound] Hi, Netta. 963 00:58:55,432 --> 00:59:00,186 Grammy is giving me the skinny on why you run from marital bliss. 964 00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:02,688 Right. Netta, cover up your ears. 965 00:59:04,398 --> 00:59:06,525 It's not that she's afraid of the wedding. 966 00:59:06,608 --> 00:59:09,819 - She's afraid of the wedding night! - Mmm. 967 00:59:09,903 --> 00:59:13,406 Innocent girls are terrified of the one-eyed snake. 968 00:59:15,950 --> 00:59:17,993 Why, when I was a virgin bride, 969 00:59:18,076 --> 00:59:20,328 I took a knitting needle to bed with me. 970 00:59:20,412 --> 00:59:22,121 Uh-- [Clears Throat] 971 00:59:22,163 --> 00:59:24,498 Grandma, I charmed... 972 00:59:24,582 --> 00:59:29,336 - the one-eyed snake a while ago. - Oh, yeah. I forgot. 973 00:59:29,419 --> 00:59:33,840 Well, I'll tell you one thing. Your grandpa never forgot that wedding night. 974 00:59:33,923 --> 00:59:35,841 Netta, you can take your hands down. 975 00:59:35,925 --> 00:59:37,843 - The tea's cold. - Good. 976 00:59:37,926 --> 00:59:40,804 Could you excuse us for a minute? May I have a word with you, please? 977 00:59:40,887 --> 00:59:43,973 Oh. Bye, Netta. Bye. 978 00:59:44,056 --> 00:59:46,850 Thanks, Grammy. 979 00:59:46,934 --> 00:59:49,353 Uh-- [Clears Throat] 980 00:59:49,436 --> 00:59:52,772 I found this, and I didn't know if it was something interesting. 981 00:59:52,856 --> 00:59:56,275 - My-- This is Miles Davis! - I was cleaning out the attic and-- 982 00:59:56,358 --> 00:59:59,152 This is very hard to find in good condition. 983 00:59:59,236 --> 01:00:03,656 - Hold on to this. This is incredible. - Why don't you take it? 984 01:00:05,283 --> 01:00:08,410 - Huh? - Take it. 985 01:00:08,494 --> 01:00:13,581 You're figuring out what kind of music I like, finding me a rare album. 986 01:00:13,665 --> 01:00:16,542 You're not trying to butter me up, are you? 987 01:00:16,625 --> 01:00:18,877 I was cleaning out the attic, 988 01:00:18,961 --> 01:00:22,672 not attempting the impossible. 989 01:00:22,714 --> 01:00:26,175 I smell trouble. 990 01:00:26,384 --> 01:00:29,762 [Car Radio] This is Cory Flemming, and I'll be featuring the music... 991 01:00:29,845 --> 01:00:33,807 of Denise and Da Nephews, tomorrow morning on "Wake up with--" 992 01:00:33,890 --> 01:00:35,808 [Turns Radio Off] 993 01:00:35,892 --> 01:00:38,352 [Ike] What do we got here? 994 01:00:42,022 --> 01:00:44,357 [Maggie] Come on, big guy. 995 01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:46,359 Oh, on our feet. Here we go. 996 01:00:46,442 --> 01:00:49,194 Let's go, let's go, big guy. Yeah. 997 01:00:49,278 --> 01:00:52,406 I haven't had any fun since you got your driver's license. 998 01:00:52,489 --> 01:00:56,534 Let me give you a tip. I haven't been having a whole lot of fun either. 999 01:00:57,952 --> 01:01:00,371 Steady. 1000 01:01:00,454 --> 01:01:03,206 - Good boy, Porthole. - His name's Skipper, Dad. 1001 01:01:03,290 --> 01:01:05,708 - I changed it. - Ah. Okay, step. 1002 01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:09,879 - [Groans] I'll be back later, Travis. - [Scoffs] 1003 01:01:09,962 --> 01:01:12,673 - That guy Travis really has a problem. - Mmm. 1004 01:01:12,756 --> 01:01:14,799 - I'll get-- - Here we are. 1005 01:01:14,883 --> 01:01:17,885 Okay. Steady. 1006 01:01:17,969 --> 01:01:20,346 You're gonna lean, I'm gonna push. 1007 01:01:20,429 --> 01:01:23,223 Good daughters let their fathers pass out. 1008 01:01:23,265 --> 01:01:26,226 Hey, Walter. Right down there. 1009 01:01:26,267 --> 01:01:28,561 I, I-- Please, please don't write anything-- 1010 01:01:28,603 --> 01:01:31,605 Forget about it. Don't even think about it. 1011 01:01:42,948 --> 01:01:46,910 I'm just so tired of this whole scene. 1012 01:01:46,951 --> 01:01:51,205 Why don't you just let him sleep it off here in the truck? 1013 01:01:51,247 --> 01:01:54,082 Come for a ride with me, come back for him later. 1014 01:01:56,751 --> 01:01:58,669 Okay. 1015 01:02:04,633 --> 01:02:07,177 [Female Singer] % Today % 1016 01:02:07,260 --> 01:02:11,347 % We took a walk up the street % 1017 01:02:11,430 --> 01:02:15,100 % We picked a flower and climbed the hill % 1018 01:02:15,142 --> 01:02:18,603 [Maggie] He's been drinking more and more since my mom passed away. 1019 01:02:18,686 --> 01:02:21,605 [Ike] That's when you quit school to come back here? 1020 01:02:21,647 --> 01:02:25,484 Yeah. I had to come run the store for my dad. 1021 01:02:25,567 --> 01:02:29,529 [Ike] My dad had a small printing business. 1022 01:02:29,612 --> 01:02:32,781 He wanted me to become a classical musician. 1023 01:02:32,823 --> 01:02:35,200 My mother wanted me to be a novelist. 1024 01:02:36,910 --> 01:02:39,120 They were 0-for-two. 1025 01:02:42,248 --> 01:02:44,249 More? 1026 01:02:44,333 --> 01:02:48,628 So, l, uh-- I became a reporter. 1027 01:02:51,047 --> 01:02:53,674 Not quite a novelist. But as we all know, 1028 01:02:53,757 --> 01:02:57,677 journalism is literature in a hurry. 1029 01:03:00,596 --> 01:03:05,309 % I never saw blue like that before % 1030 01:03:06,810 --> 01:03:09,771 % Across the sky % 1031 01:03:09,854 --> 01:03:11,814 [Ike] What? What is this? 1032 01:03:11,898 --> 01:03:14,275 What kind of gas did you put in here? Diesel? 1033 01:03:14,316 --> 01:03:17,736 I don't know. The pump closest to the car. 1034 01:03:17,819 --> 01:03:19,738 - [Car Backfires] - Whoa! 1035 01:03:21,322 --> 01:03:24,658 This car takes unleaded. Your filter is clogged. 1036 01:03:24,742 --> 01:03:26,660 [Ike] Can you fix it? 1037 01:03:26,743 --> 01:03:29,329 - I'm gonna need to get some tools. - Oh, good. 1038 01:03:29,412 --> 01:03:31,331 Kind of isolated here. 1039 01:03:31,414 --> 01:03:34,125 Yeah, it's nice. 1040 01:03:34,208 --> 01:03:36,752 [Sighs] 1041 01:03:36,835 --> 01:03:40,046 Well, if there's one thing us New Yorkers know how to do, 1042 01:03:40,130 --> 01:03:41,798 that's hail a cab. 1043 01:03:41,881 --> 01:03:44,300 If there's no cab, we walk. 1044 01:03:44,342 --> 01:03:48,428 Uh, well, if we saved the battery here, 1045 01:03:48,512 --> 01:03:50,764 there's a place just down the way. 1046 01:03:50,847 --> 01:03:54,016 We country girls cut across the field. It's quicker. 1047 01:03:59,563 --> 01:04:01,648 Oh, be careful of snakes. 1048 01:04:03,524 --> 01:04:05,860 - What? - Snakes. 1049 01:04:05,943 --> 01:04:07,861 I don't like snakes. 1050 01:04:07,945 --> 01:04:10,572 Walk nice. They won't get ya. 1051 01:04:12,740 --> 01:04:15,826 Come on, come on, come on! 1052 01:04:15,910 --> 01:04:19,204 What're you-- What're you doing? Snake dance? 1053 01:04:19,246 --> 01:04:22,373 I'm scaring the snakes. 1054 01:04:22,457 --> 01:04:26,710 - You're scaring me. - [Chuckles] I'm scaring myself. 1055 01:04:29,087 --> 01:04:33,007 Do you think there's one right person for everybody? 1056 01:04:33,091 --> 01:04:35,343 [Sighs] No, but I think attraction... 1057 01:04:35,384 --> 01:04:39,388 is too often mistaken for rightness. 1058 01:04:39,471 --> 01:04:42,974 Attraction is very misleading. 1059 01:04:43,057 --> 01:04:45,393 - Yes, it is. - Yeah. 1060 01:04:45,434 --> 01:04:47,520 - And it doesn't mean anything. - No. 1061 01:04:47,561 --> 01:04:51,773 No, no. It doesn't mean anything. It means-- 1062 01:05:00,864 --> 01:05:03,658 I, uh, 1063 01:05:03,742 --> 01:05:06,410 suddenly forgot how to climb a fence. 1064 01:05:08,704 --> 01:05:11,581 - Tools. - Tools. Yeah. 1065 01:05:20,756 --> 01:05:25,468 - Lionel, do you have tools? - Hey, Maggie! 1066 01:05:25,551 --> 01:05:27,845 What're you gonna do? Bust out of another wedding? 1067 01:05:27,928 --> 01:05:30,097 [Ike Laughs] 1068 01:05:30,180 --> 01:05:33,558 Sure are well-known around here. 1069 01:05:33,725 --> 01:05:36,728 [Ike] No, Fish, it's almost done. I swear. 1070 01:05:36,811 --> 01:05:39,146 This story's taken a very interesting turn. 1071 01:05:39,188 --> 01:05:42,024 I've got one more interview to do in New York. I'll see you later. 1072 01:05:42,065 --> 01:05:44,734 [Male Singer] % From my head to my heart % 1073 01:05:44,818 --> 01:05:48,821 % Can't seem to find a way They're so far apart % 1074 01:05:48,904 --> 01:05:51,365 [Horns Honking] 1075 01:05:51,407 --> 01:05:54,784 You could've told me that you were fiancé number three. 1076 01:05:54,868 --> 01:05:56,828 And end up in the papers? 1077 01:05:56,911 --> 01:06:00,497 I've been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime. Thank you. 1078 01:06:00,581 --> 01:06:03,041 I was traveling around, 1079 01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:06,920 studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts... 1080 01:06:07,003 --> 01:06:08,921 when Maggie met me. 1081 01:06:09,005 --> 01:06:12,174 Tell me, George. Why do you think she ran? 1082 01:06:12,216 --> 01:06:15,093 Just like you said. What did you call her? A man-eater? 1083 01:06:15,176 --> 01:06:19,180 Devouring death goddess. All right? 1084 01:06:19,263 --> 01:06:21,932 That's what I said. I don't think that's why she ran. 1085 01:06:22,016 --> 01:06:23,433 Why do you think she ran? 1086 01:06:23,517 --> 01:06:26,019 I don't know. I'm working on it. I was on the wrong track. 1087 01:06:26,102 --> 01:06:29,647 - Are you defending her? - No, no. 1088 01:06:29,730 --> 01:06:33,859 I call it like I see it. I'm a journalist. I'm a truth-teller. 1089 01:06:33,942 --> 01:06:36,111 - Unbelievable! - What? 1090 01:06:36,194 --> 01:06:38,946 She got to you, too, like a moth to a flame. 1091 01:06:39,030 --> 01:06:40,948 - Please! -Join the club. 1092 01:06:41,032 --> 01:06:43,909 - What are you talking about? - You need this much more than I do. 1093 01:06:43,951 --> 01:06:48,288 I am a journalist. I'm doing an article. Look. See? I'm being paid. 1094 01:06:48,371 --> 01:06:53,500 This will be published. A cover story. You'll get the all facts in the article. 1095 01:06:53,584 --> 01:06:56,545 Do you know what kind of eggs she liked? 1096 01:06:56,628 --> 01:07:00,590 Poached, same as me. 1097 01:07:07,262 --> 01:07:09,389 [Car Alarm Beeping] 1098 01:07:09,472 --> 01:07:12,141 [Fisher] An over priced apartment and Chinese take-out. 1099 01:07:12,224 --> 01:07:14,226 That's New York living. 1100 01:07:14,268 --> 01:07:16,353 Fisher, don't forget the fortune cookies. 1101 01:07:16,436 --> 01:07:20,732 I already read the fortune. You don't wanna know. 1102 01:07:20,815 --> 01:07:23,776 He makes me crazy. 1103 01:07:23,859 --> 01:07:26,945 Hostility is a very important part of your foreplay, isn't it? 1104 01:07:27,028 --> 01:07:29,822 It takes three people to make our marriage work: 1105 01:07:29,906 --> 01:07:31,741 him, me and our therapist. 1106 01:07:34,076 --> 01:07:37,037 [Laughs] 1107 01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:40,206 Ellie, what went wrong? 1108 01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:43,209 With us. With the two of us, I mean. 1109 01:07:43,292 --> 01:07:48,797 I know it's been a long time. Do you remember? 1110 01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:52,800 Yeah. Do I remember? Of course I do. 1111 01:07:54,718 --> 01:07:57,971 Is that what-- Did I do the same-- 1112 01:07:58,013 --> 01:08:02,058 Is that what happened? Did I just... not see you? 1113 01:08:04,643 --> 01:08:08,438 No. No, you didn't. 1114 01:08:14,693 --> 01:08:16,653 I'm sorry. 1115 01:08:16,695 --> 01:08:19,156 I'm sorry, Ellie. 1116 01:08:19,197 --> 01:08:21,282 I'm sorry too, Ike. 1117 01:08:23,409 --> 01:08:27,037 Wow! That only took us 1 2 years to say. 1118 01:08:27,121 --> 01:08:30,040 Hey, I saw that, you cad. 1119 01:08:30,123 --> 01:08:33,126 You asked for it, you got it. Here you go. 1120 01:08:33,209 --> 01:08:35,127 My dear. 1121 01:08:35,211 --> 01:08:37,671 Get your fortune. Let me see what-- 1122 01:08:37,755 --> 01:08:42,884 "Confucius say, man who leave wife alone with ex-husband may leave altogether." 1123 01:08:42,967 --> 01:08:44,468 - [Laughing] - Aha! 1124 01:08:44,719 --> 01:08:47,763 - Lights and everything. - Hope it's better than last year. 1125 01:08:47,846 --> 01:08:49,890 [Woman Laughing] Or the last ten years. 1126 01:08:49,973 --> 01:08:53,059 %[Drums Beating] 1127 01:08:53,142 --> 01:08:55,561 [Cheering, Whistling] 1128 01:09:01,483 --> 01:09:02,984 [Applauding] 1129 01:09:03,067 --> 01:09:06,695 Let's have a hand for our fabulous hula dancers. 1130 01:09:06,737 --> 01:09:11,825 There they are. King and Queen! 1131 01:09:11,908 --> 01:09:14,911 % [Hawaiian] 1132 01:09:14,994 --> 01:09:19,915 Walter, I'm thinking about going back to my maiden name. 1133 01:09:19,998 --> 01:09:21,917 Can you still remember it? 1134 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:25,503 What? It's nice, you know. 1135 01:09:25,545 --> 01:09:30,966 It's just I haven't seen him in 24 hours, and I would... 1136 01:09:31,049 --> 01:09:35,011 feel better if I knew where he was, you see. 1137 01:09:38,556 --> 01:09:41,266 [Mr. Trout] Welcome to our annual luau. 1138 01:09:41,350 --> 01:09:44,269 - What can I get you? - [Ike] Aloha, Mr. Trout. 1139 01:09:44,352 --> 01:09:48,856 Uh, you got something without a toy in it? 1140 01:09:48,939 --> 01:09:51,316 % [Electric Guitar] 1141 01:09:51,400 --> 01:09:54,319 - [Man] Get down, Sprout. - The next three. 1142 01:09:54,402 --> 01:09:56,362 Yeah. 1143 01:09:56,446 --> 01:09:59,740 Oh, I'm hearing it here. 1144 01:10:03,910 --> 01:10:05,828 Aloha! 1145 01:10:08,122 --> 01:10:10,582 It's a very fetching headdress you're wearing. 1146 01:10:14,419 --> 01:10:18,589 Where did-- Where did you disappear to? 1147 01:10:18,673 --> 01:10:20,633 Missed me bad, huh? 1148 01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:25,887 [Betty Trout] And we have a winner right here! 1149 01:10:25,970 --> 01:10:29,140 Yeah! All right, Bob! 1150 01:10:29,223 --> 01:10:32,684 Well, it's chow time here on the islands, 1151 01:10:32,768 --> 01:10:37,063 and we Trouts have prepared our traditional feast, Shrimp Trout. 1152 01:10:37,146 --> 01:10:39,440 So let's all meet at the tables. 1153 01:10:39,482 --> 01:10:41,650 You're not allergic to shrimp, are you? 1154 01:10:41,734 --> 01:10:44,903 - Mmm, no. - Pity. 1155 01:10:45,987 --> 01:10:48,531 [Banging] 1156 01:10:50,616 --> 01:10:54,077 Attention! Pay attention to Walter. 1157 01:10:54,161 --> 01:10:57,080 - Listen closely. He slurs. - [Laughing] 1158 01:10:57,163 --> 01:10:59,874 In the tradition... 1159 01:10:59,957 --> 01:11:03,418 that has grown over the years, it is now toast time. 1160 01:11:03,460 --> 01:11:05,587 First up, our host, 1161 01:11:05,629 --> 01:11:08,339 Lou "A Honey of a Beekeeper" Trout. 1162 01:11:08,423 --> 01:11:10,758 [Applause] 1163 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,801 [Whistles] 1164 01:11:12,843 --> 01:11:15,929 May the groom's heart be filled with hope... 1165 01:11:16,012 --> 01:11:18,348 and the bride's feet filled with lead. 1166 01:11:18,431 --> 01:11:21,767 [Crowd Laughing] 1167 01:11:21,809 --> 01:11:26,062 May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggie's. 1168 01:11:26,146 --> 01:11:28,565 [Crowd Laughing] 1169 01:11:31,484 --> 01:11:36,071 - May the gifts be returnable. - [Man] I took mine back. 1170 01:11:36,154 --> 01:11:39,824 You know the old saying, "You're not losing a daughter"? 1171 01:11:39,866 --> 01:11:41,867 Well, I'd like to. 1172 01:11:41,951 --> 01:11:44,453 [Crowd Laughing] 1173 01:11:44,495 --> 01:11:47,831 [Walter]Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, 1174 01:11:47,872 --> 01:11:51,584 - but she is certainly the fastest. - [Mouthing Words] 1175 01:11:53,002 --> 01:11:55,045 Good one, Dad. 1176 01:11:55,129 --> 01:11:59,090 [Cindy] Walter, maybe Mr. Graham will say something. 1177 01:11:59,174 --> 01:12:02,385 Ah, here we are. Would you like to say something, Mr. Graham? 1178 01:12:02,468 --> 01:12:06,722 Yeah, just a minute. I don't know yet. You okay? 1179 01:12:06,805 --> 01:12:10,642 Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie live. It's more fun than print. 1180 01:12:10,683 --> 01:12:13,269 Excuse me? 1181 01:12:13,352 --> 01:12:15,521 It's a joke. They're kidding, Ike. 1182 01:12:15,562 --> 01:12:19,399 - Yeah, come on. Let's go. - [Banging Cups] 1183 01:12:19,482 --> 01:12:22,735 - [Banging Continues] - All right. We'll have a toast! 1184 01:12:22,818 --> 01:12:26,321 [All Shouting Agreement] 1185 01:12:26,405 --> 01:12:28,865 To Maggie's family and friends. 1186 01:12:28,907 --> 01:12:32,660 May you find yourselves... 1187 01:12:32,702 --> 01:12:35,246 the bull's-eye of an easy target. 1188 01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:42,668 May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices, 1189 01:12:42,752 --> 01:12:47,047 and may your noses be rubbed in all of your mistakes. 1190 01:12:52,260 --> 01:12:55,221 Well, that was funny, but enough toasting. Let's hula! 1191 01:12:55,262 --> 01:13:00,684 Everybody! Let's get up and start the band! 1192 01:13:00,725 --> 01:13:03,269 We're gonna make a line right down here. 1193 01:13:03,352 --> 01:13:05,938 Maggie. Maggie? 1194 01:13:06,021 --> 01:13:08,649 [Betty Trout] Lou, where are those hula dancers? 1195 01:13:08,732 --> 01:13:11,526 Here. She might need this. 1196 01:13:11,651 --> 01:13:13,111 Where'd Maggie go to? 1197 01:13:13,152 --> 01:13:15,154 She went to get me something from her car. 1198 01:13:15,237 --> 01:13:18,240 - Maybe she needs help. - B-B-B-Bob. Okay. 1199 01:13:18,323 --> 01:13:20,450 The guard, who threw the block? Forrest Gregg. 1200 01:13:20,534 --> 01:13:21,868 No, Elijah Pitts. 1201 01:13:21,951 --> 01:13:24,120 - He's a running back. - The Fridge. Refrigerator Perry? 1202 01:13:25,830 --> 01:13:28,290 Maggie? 1203 01:13:28,332 --> 01:13:31,793 Hey. Here's a coat. 1204 01:13:31,876 --> 01:13:35,129 - Put this coat on. It's cold. - Don't pretend to be a nice person. 1205 01:13:35,213 --> 01:13:37,965 I was the only person in there defending you. 1206 01:13:38,048 --> 01:13:39,633 You humiliated me! 1207 01:13:39,675 --> 01:13:44,429 No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating you is what everyone else did in there. 1208 01:13:44,512 --> 01:13:47,515 - That is the theme of the party tonight. - No. It was under control. 1209 01:13:47,598 --> 01:13:49,892 Now they all feel sorry for me. 1210 01:13:49,975 --> 01:13:52,310 They should. They're about to see you hang yourself again. 1211 01:13:52,352 --> 01:13:53,853 What do you keep-- 1212 01:13:53,937 --> 01:13:57,273 Tell me something. Do you really care about Mount Everest? 1213 01:13:57,356 --> 01:14:00,984 It's fun. It's high. 1214 01:14:01,026 --> 01:14:03,111 Sexual practices of locusts? 1215 01:14:03,194 --> 01:14:08,157 [Maggie]Every one of those times I was being supportive. 1216 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:11,535 Not supportive! You weren't being supportive! 1217 01:14:11,618 --> 01:14:15,997 You were scared! You were scared then, you're scared now. 1218 01:14:16,038 --> 01:14:18,332 You are the most lost woman-- 1219 01:14:18,374 --> 01:14:21,126 - Lost? - Yes, lost. You're so-- 1220 01:14:21,209 --> 01:14:24,671 You're so lost, you don't even know what kind of eggs you like. 1221 01:14:26,005 --> 01:14:28,507 - Yes. Yes! - What? 1222 01:14:28,591 --> 01:14:30,759 That's right. With the priest, you wanted scrambled. 1223 01:14:30,843 --> 01:14:32,761 With the Dead Head, it was fried. 1224 01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:35,513 With the bug guy, it was poached. 1225 01:14:35,555 --> 01:14:39,183 Now it's like, "Oh, egg whites only. Thank you very much." 1226 01:14:39,266 --> 01:14:42,269 That is called changing your mind. 1227 01:14:42,352 --> 01:14:45,021 No, that's called not having a mind of your own. 1228 01:14:45,063 --> 01:14:47,148 Maggie, what are you doing? 1229 01:14:47,231 --> 01:14:49,233 You really want that guy up there to drag you... 1230 01:14:49,316 --> 01:14:52,527 up Annapurna for your honeymoon? 1231 01:14:52,569 --> 01:14:55,238 You do not wanna climb Annapurna! 1232 01:14:55,321 --> 01:14:57,407 Yes, I do! 1233 01:14:58,908 --> 01:15:01,618 [Sighs] 1234 01:15:01,702 --> 01:15:03,662 No, you don't. 1235 01:15:05,163 --> 01:15:09,709 You want a man who'll lead you down the beach... 1236 01:15:09,792 --> 01:15:12,086 with his hand over your eyes... 1237 01:15:12,169 --> 01:15:15,880 just so you can discover the feel of sand under your feet. 1238 01:15:17,173 --> 01:15:20,634 You want a guy that'll wake you up at dawn. 1239 01:15:22,803 --> 01:15:25,222 He's just bursting to talk to you. Can't wait another minute... 1240 01:15:25,263 --> 01:15:28,391 just to find out what you'll say. 1241 01:15:33,437 --> 01:15:35,355 Am I right? 1242 01:15:41,444 --> 01:15:43,570 Stop it. 1243 01:15:45,447 --> 01:15:49,575 I'm getting married on Sunday. 1244 01:15:49,659 --> 01:15:52,411 And you are just trying to make me run. 1245 01:15:54,037 --> 01:15:58,666 Because you're a cynical, exploitive, 1246 01:15:58,750 --> 01:16:01,168 mean-hearted creep... 1247 01:16:01,252 --> 01:16:04,421 who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit. 1248 01:16:04,505 --> 01:16:09,801 All you do is... is tear others down, 1249 01:16:09,884 --> 01:16:13,095 and laugh at them and criticize what they do... 1250 01:16:13,178 --> 01:16:16,848 because you're too afraid to do anything yourself. 1251 01:16:18,433 --> 01:16:21,269 I read your columns. 1252 01:16:21,310 --> 01:16:25,814 You never once wrote anything about yourself. 1253 01:16:27,941 --> 01:16:31,652 I am not the only one that is lost. 1254 01:16:32,987 --> 01:16:34,905 And you know it. 1255 01:16:37,282 --> 01:16:39,200 Am I right? 1256 01:16:41,994 --> 01:16:45,247 Am I right? 1257 01:16:47,416 --> 01:16:50,251 [Bob] Mag? 1258 01:16:50,335 --> 01:16:53,129 Hey, help me out here. 1259 01:16:53,170 --> 01:16:55,547 Green Bay right guard. 1260 01:16:55,631 --> 01:16:58,633 Uh, you know, Bart Starr, uh-- 1261 01:17:00,593 --> 01:17:02,803 - You okay? - Yes. 1262 01:17:04,513 --> 01:17:07,974 -%[Drums Beating] - [Clears Throat] 1263 01:17:08,058 --> 01:17:10,810 - I'll take you inside. Okay? - Uh-huh. 1264 01:17:10,894 --> 01:17:12,979 Okay. 1265 01:17:14,355 --> 01:17:16,815 [Maggie] Jerry Kramer. 1266 01:17:16,899 --> 01:17:21,653 Jerry Kramer! I started on the Ice Bowl story. 1267 01:17:21,694 --> 01:17:26,824 %[Drumming Continues] 1268 01:17:27,032 --> 01:17:29,284 Hey, Grandma. 1269 01:17:29,367 --> 01:17:31,494 - What's for lunch? - Turkey and cheese. 1270 01:17:31,536 --> 01:17:33,371 Honey, your grandmother and l... 1271 01:17:33,454 --> 01:17:35,581 are thinking about having a wedding gift museum. 1272 01:17:35,664 --> 01:17:38,000 [Chuckles] 1273 01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:41,044 - Stop. - What? 1274 01:17:41,127 --> 01:17:43,963 Stop. Don't say another word like that. 1275 01:17:44,046 --> 01:17:45,965 - Maggie, it was just a joke. - No! 1276 01:17:46,048 --> 01:17:49,468 It's humiliating, and it's gone on long enough. 1277 01:17:49,551 --> 01:17:54,055 You may not like that you have a daughter with problems. 1278 01:17:54,138 --> 01:17:57,057 But guess what. 1279 01:17:57,141 --> 01:18:00,644 I don't like that I have a father who's drunk all the time. 1280 01:18:03,021 --> 01:18:05,022 I'll eat in my room. 1281 01:18:09,276 --> 01:18:11,903 [Cindy] Tell me why Maggie's having another rehearsal, 1282 01:18:11,987 --> 01:18:13,613 and two days before the wedding. 1283 01:18:13,696 --> 01:18:15,364 She's already done this. 1284 01:18:15,406 --> 01:18:18,701 [Peggy] Well, Bob insisted she visualize the ceremony. 1285 01:18:18,742 --> 01:18:23,496 Okay, we're ready. You want me to have Ike leave now? 1286 01:18:23,580 --> 01:18:26,207 Actually, let's make Ike the pastor. 1287 01:18:26,290 --> 01:18:27,791 Uh, I'd rather not. 1288 01:18:27,875 --> 01:18:30,877 No, it'll give you a great view. I think it's perfect. 1289 01:18:30,961 --> 01:18:33,630 - Hey. - Okay. 1290 01:18:33,713 --> 01:18:36,549 Team effort, Pastor Ike. 1291 01:18:36,632 --> 01:18:39,676 - He's gonna be the pastor? - Yes. Yes. 1292 01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:44,597 Because I want him front and center so he can just see everything. 1293 01:18:44,681 --> 01:18:47,433 - Right up there. That's it. - Okay. 1294 01:18:47,516 --> 01:18:50,394 - Cindy, foyer. - Okay. 1295 01:18:50,477 --> 01:18:53,730 [Exhales] 1296 01:18:53,772 --> 01:18:55,732 Ready? 1297 01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:58,776 What happened at the luau? 1298 01:18:58,818 --> 01:19:03,905 I-- I don't-- I don't wanna talk about the luau, okay? 1299 01:19:03,989 --> 01:19:07,450 - What is this? - It's for the bell. 1300 01:19:07,533 --> 01:19:09,743 - Bob's in a hurry. - Oh. 1301 01:19:09,785 --> 01:19:13,413 - [Bob] Girls! - Okay, Maggie, remember what Bob said. 1302 01:19:13,497 --> 01:19:15,623 - Let us visualize. Be the ball. - Sink the putt. 1303 01:19:15,707 --> 01:19:18,251 - Make the shot. - Nothin' but net. 1304 01:19:18,334 --> 01:19:20,377 - Never say die. - Move your butts. 1305 01:19:20,461 --> 01:19:25,382 - [Bob] Girls, where are you? - On our way, Coach. 1306 01:19:25,465 --> 01:19:27,425 [Sighs] 1307 01:19:27,467 --> 01:19:30,177 The bell. Ooh. 1308 01:19:30,261 --> 01:19:33,472 - [Bell Ringing] - Whoa! 1309 01:19:33,555 --> 01:19:38,559 - [Ringing Continues] - [Maggie Yelling] 1310 01:19:38,643 --> 01:19:41,979 Ooh. Agh! 1311 01:19:43,647 --> 01:19:44,940 What's she doing? 1312 01:19:45,023 --> 01:19:47,900 She's being the bell instead of the ball. 1313 01:19:49,819 --> 01:19:53,447 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. 1314 01:19:53,488 --> 01:19:55,907 Mags, you okay? 1315 01:20:00,828 --> 01:20:02,788 Anyway-- 1316 01:20:03,622 --> 01:20:05,790 Oh. [Sniffs] 1317 01:20:07,542 --> 01:20:11,837 %[Organ, "The Wedding March"] 1318 01:20:20,845 --> 01:20:25,098 At this pace, this could become an evening wedding. 1319 01:20:25,182 --> 01:20:28,393 Okay, okay. You know something? It's great. 1320 01:20:28,476 --> 01:20:32,438 I think we're taking this a little too fast. You're tensing. You feel it? 1321 01:20:32,521 --> 01:20:34,648 Right? 1322 01:20:34,731 --> 01:20:37,984 We just need to limber you up for a second. Ike, come here. 1323 01:20:38,068 --> 01:20:41,570 You're me. Stand here so she knows how far she's gotta come. 1324 01:20:41,654 --> 01:20:44,656 Honey, I'm gonna walk with you. Okay? 1325 01:20:44,740 --> 01:20:48,118 Now he's the groom? 1326 01:20:48,201 --> 01:20:50,370 Just relax. Remember, visualize. 1327 01:20:50,453 --> 01:20:52,955 Visualize. Relax. Limber. 1328 01:20:59,627 --> 01:21:02,004 You are the football, spiraling through the air... 1329 01:21:02,046 --> 01:21:06,300 -%[Organ Continues] - into the waiting hands of the groom. 1330 01:21:06,383 --> 01:21:10,470 I'm spiraling through the air. 1331 01:21:10,553 --> 01:21:12,555 I am... 1332 01:21:14,056 --> 01:21:17,225 streaking... 1333 01:21:17,309 --> 01:21:21,479 toward the... goal line. 1334 01:21:27,150 --> 01:21:30,320 [Bob] Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact. 1335 01:21:30,403 --> 01:21:32,321 And I land on the goal line. 1336 01:21:32,405 --> 01:21:35,199 [Bob] Good. Good. 1337 01:21:35,282 --> 01:21:37,951 Okay, I'm the pastor and I say, "Dearly beloved, 1338 01:21:38,035 --> 01:21:40,286 "we're gathered here, blah, blah, blah, blah, 1339 01:21:40,370 --> 01:21:42,455 "so on and so forth, rat-a-tat-tat, yabba-dabba. 1340 01:21:42,538 --> 01:21:44,790 I now pronounce you man and wife." 1341 01:21:44,874 --> 01:21:47,251 Kiss the bride. We have the organ crescendo. 1342 01:21:47,334 --> 01:21:50,587 That just leads us right on down the aisle. 1343 01:21:50,670 --> 01:21:53,256 And we are man and-- 1344 01:22:06,558 --> 01:22:08,810 % [Organ Stops] 1345 01:22:08,894 --> 01:22:11,479 No! 1346 01:22:11,563 --> 01:22:14,106 Maggie? 1347 01:22:14,190 --> 01:22:16,192 Uh, Mag-- 1348 01:22:19,403 --> 01:22:21,654 [Laughs] 1349 01:22:21,696 --> 01:22:23,656 Okay, okay, okay. 1350 01:22:23,698 --> 01:22:26,867 So if you were imagining me, y-you did great. 1351 01:22:26,951 --> 01:22:28,785 What the hell were you doing? 1352 01:22:28,869 --> 01:22:31,579 Bob, I'm really sorry. She... kissed me back. 1353 01:22:31,663 --> 01:22:34,707 - I kissed you back? - Yes, you did. You kissed me back. 1354 01:22:34,791 --> 01:22:36,917 Yeah, caught that. 1355 01:22:37,001 --> 01:22:39,795 You wanna tell me how long this has been goin' on? 1356 01:22:39,878 --> 01:22:44,048 - About a minute. - Longer for me. 1357 01:22:44,132 --> 01:22:46,092 Really? 1358 01:22:46,175 --> 01:22:49,136 What do you expect me to say to this? 1359 01:22:49,219 --> 01:22:52,430 - Hello. - Well, Bob, you could say, 1360 01:22:52,514 --> 01:22:55,391 "Well, I hope you two will be really happy together." 1361 01:22:57,977 --> 01:23:01,480 I hope you two will be really happy together. 1362 01:23:03,106 --> 01:23:06,025 - [Groaning] - Uh, take care of him. 1363 01:23:06,067 --> 01:23:08,611 - Are you okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1364 01:23:11,822 --> 01:23:15,450 Bob! Bob! 1365 01:23:15,533 --> 01:23:18,035 Bob, I'm sorry. I-I'm-- 1366 01:23:18,119 --> 01:23:22,080 At least this time I backed out before the wedding. That's progress. 1367 01:23:22,164 --> 01:23:24,249 You are gonna find some woman... 1368 01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:28,127 who can make you so much happier than I ever could. 1369 01:23:28,210 --> 01:23:31,213 - Look out! - Ooh, see? 1370 01:23:31,296 --> 01:23:33,256 See? It's happening already. 1371 01:23:33,340 --> 01:23:35,341 - She's good with needy men. - Yeah. 1372 01:23:35,425 --> 01:23:38,177 Uh, yeah. 1373 01:23:38,260 --> 01:23:42,514 - Well, um... why don't you... - Yeah. 1374 01:23:42,597 --> 01:23:46,184 - just call me later. - Okay. 1375 01:23:46,267 --> 01:23:49,770 Bob, this may not be a good time, but here's my number. 1376 01:23:49,854 --> 01:23:54,399 [Cindy] Drive safely, Bob! 1377 01:23:54,441 --> 01:23:57,193 Kid wants to lock up, go home. 1378 01:23:57,276 --> 01:23:59,612 [Car Driving Away] 1379 01:23:59,653 --> 01:24:02,322 - How's Bob? - Mmm. 1380 01:24:02,406 --> 01:24:06,117 - Okay. - [Tires Screeching] 1381 01:24:06,201 --> 01:24:08,661 So, what just happened just now? 1382 01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:12,122 - Then... in there? - I don't know. I, I, I-- 1383 01:24:12,206 --> 01:24:16,251 Frankly, I don't even want to talk about it. 1384 01:24:16,334 --> 01:24:18,294 Me neither. 1385 01:24:23,131 --> 01:24:25,300 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 1386 01:24:25,383 --> 01:24:29,720 - No, no, no. No, wait. Stop. - Mmm? Mmm? 1387 01:24:29,804 --> 01:24:32,556 No, no, no, no. We gotta-- We have to talk. 1388 01:24:32,639 --> 01:24:36,601 We have to talk. We have to do some talking now, all right? 1389 01:24:36,643 --> 01:24:39,812 Just-- Come over here. Pull up a-- 1390 01:24:39,896 --> 01:24:42,898 - Pull up a rail. - I was enjoying the-- Okay. 1391 01:24:42,981 --> 01:24:47,444 All right. Just give me a little space here. 1392 01:24:47,485 --> 01:24:48,820 Okay. 1393 01:24:50,613 --> 01:24:52,531 All right. [Sighs] 1394 01:24:56,952 --> 01:24:59,412 Do you think may-- 1395 01:25:01,872 --> 01:25:04,666 Well, you do have a dress. 1396 01:25:06,418 --> 01:25:08,545 And the church. 1397 01:25:08,628 --> 01:25:10,838 And the wedding date. 1398 01:25:10,922 --> 01:25:13,757 Then there's the two of us. 1399 01:25:14,758 --> 01:25:17,344 Maybe-- 1400 01:25:20,763 --> 01:25:25,392 You do have to go down the aisle with somebody... 1401 01:25:25,475 --> 01:25:27,936 that you love, 1402 01:25:28,019 --> 01:25:31,105 - and who loves you back. - Who? 1403 01:25:48,870 --> 01:25:50,955 I'm okay with that. 1404 01:25:54,750 --> 01:25:56,835 So am l. 1405 01:26:00,046 --> 01:26:02,798 [Laughs] 1406 01:26:05,259 --> 01:26:07,719 I'm getting married. 1407 01:26:17,894 --> 01:26:19,688 Do you do this often? 1408 01:26:19,771 --> 01:26:22,815 Well, there's not a lot to do around here. 1409 01:26:22,899 --> 01:26:26,068 I just believe he's listening to you. 1410 01:26:26,151 --> 01:26:28,987 His hair, any color. 1411 01:26:29,071 --> 01:26:31,114 I like his tight butt. 1412 01:26:31,197 --> 01:26:34,700 - Grandma. - Well, I do! 1413 01:26:34,784 --> 01:26:37,744 I'll see you at the wedding. Right? You're gonna be there, huh? 1414 01:26:37,828 --> 01:26:41,581 - Thirty-seven hours. - I didn't miss the first one. 1415 01:26:41,664 --> 01:26:45,167 We're gonna spend part of the time here in town 'cause he wants to write a book. 1416 01:26:45,251 --> 01:26:47,461 You always wanted to write a novel. 1417 01:26:47,544 --> 01:26:51,298 I feel inspired here. I feel like I can write. I wanna write. 1418 01:26:51,381 --> 01:26:53,883 Ike is getting married. 1419 01:26:53,925 --> 01:26:57,094 Hah! Ooh! Ooh! 1420 01:26:57,177 --> 01:26:59,513 Fisher, if you pee on the Persian, I'm gonna kill you. 1421 01:26:59,596 --> 01:27:02,599 Hi. It's him. He's on the phone. 1422 01:27:07,561 --> 01:27:11,106 - Hi. [Laughs] - Hi. 1423 01:27:11,189 --> 01:27:13,775 - What are you doin'? - Nothin'. 1424 01:27:13,858 --> 01:27:15,443 Pick that up. 1425 01:27:15,526 --> 01:27:17,444 - [Ike] What are you doing? - It's all right. 1426 01:27:17,528 --> 01:27:21,656 - Nothin'. - Wow. I see the most beautiful girl. 1427 01:27:21,740 --> 01:27:25,451 [Whispers] He can see me. 1428 01:27:25,535 --> 01:27:27,953 Bet's up! 1429 01:27:28,037 --> 01:27:30,080 Aah! Double jack! 1430 01:27:30,163 --> 01:27:34,709 You were trying to cheat! It doesn't work! 1431 01:27:34,792 --> 01:27:40,255 [Female Singers] % Get to me magically sure as the sky is blue % 1432 01:27:40,297 --> 01:27:42,591 Ah. Oh, my God. [Screams] 1433 01:27:42,674 --> 01:27:45,843 I'm the winner! [Laughing] 1434 01:27:45,927 --> 01:27:48,095 Now, this is a mature relationship. 1435 01:27:48,179 --> 01:27:52,140 % Acting erratically Need you fanatically % 1436 01:27:52,182 --> 01:27:57,978 % You get to me magically sure as the sky is blue % 1437 01:27:59,563 --> 01:28:04,025 % Baby, I love you % 1438 01:28:04,109 --> 01:28:06,944 % Do you love me too % 1439 01:28:08,654 --> 01:28:11,990 % Baby, I love you % 1440 01:28:12,074 --> 01:28:13,992 [Church Bells Ringing] 1441 01:28:14,075 --> 01:28:17,912 [Reporter Dina] Wedding bells are ringing today in Hale, Maryland. 1442 01:28:17,995 --> 01:28:22,207 Maggie Carpenter, always a bride, never a bridesmaid, is attempting... 1443 01:28:22,291 --> 01:28:24,584 to complete her fourth wedding ceremony. 1444 01:28:24,668 --> 01:28:27,503 We'll be back when results are in. Back to you, Jessica. 1445 01:28:27,545 --> 01:28:29,713 The turnout for this morning's ceremony is... 1446 01:28:29,797 --> 01:28:31,924 usually saved for royalty or movie stars, 1447 01:28:32,007 --> 01:28:34,884 but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Maryland's very own star. 1448 01:28:34,968 --> 01:28:37,261 T-shirts here. I got, "Bye, Bye, Bride-ee." 1449 01:28:37,345 --> 01:28:39,680 I got, "What Part of 'l Do' Don't You Understand?" 1450 01:28:39,764 --> 01:28:42,391 Get your "Runaway Bride" T-shirts here. 1451 01:28:42,474 --> 01:28:43,975 Will she or won't she? 1452 01:28:44,017 --> 01:28:46,519 That is on the minds of several hundred folks standing here, 1453 01:28:46,561 --> 01:28:50,689 not to mention on the mind of groom number four, who is missing in action. 1454 01:28:50,773 --> 01:28:53,692 - He's gonna stand me up. - Of course he's gonna come, 1455 01:28:53,775 --> 01:28:57,445 because today I saw eight geese flying in a "V" 1456 01:28:57,528 --> 01:28:59,572 You with the lucky geese! You always see geese! 1457 01:28:59,655 --> 01:29:00,823 Not eight! 1458 01:29:00,865 --> 01:29:03,825 - And in a "V" - Eight is better? 1459 01:29:03,867 --> 01:29:07,704 - Eight in a "V" Can you imagine? - "V" "V" for, uh-- 1460 01:29:07,787 --> 01:29:10,915 - Victory? Victory! - Great! 1461 01:29:10,998 --> 01:29:13,625 - And... Velcro? - Okay. 1462 01:29:13,709 --> 01:29:15,544 Velcro! Stick together! 1463 01:29:15,627 --> 01:29:19,547 - Virginal. - No, no. 1464 01:29:19,630 --> 01:29:22,967 I-I'm sweaty, I'm nervous. Where are my bags? 1465 01:29:23,133 --> 01:29:25,260 - Okay. No. - No bags. Bags are for later. 1466 01:29:25,344 --> 01:29:29,138 - Rub your ears. - Rub your ears. That's a great idea. 1467 01:29:29,222 --> 01:29:33,934 That's a very good idea. Rub your ears. Cory does that to me sometimes. 1468 01:29:33,976 --> 01:29:37,937 - A little "ooo," and you just "whoo." - We do it to the dog. 1469 01:29:37,979 --> 01:29:40,314 [Vendor] Get your "I don't think she will" shirt. 1470 01:29:40,398 --> 01:29:43,150 These shirts are not sold in stores. 1471 01:29:43,234 --> 01:29:45,777 [Excited Chattering] 1472 01:29:45,819 --> 01:29:49,155 - Here comes Ike Graham! - Show time. 1473 01:29:51,490 --> 01:29:54,993 That's better. It's pretty nice, actually. 1474 01:29:55,077 --> 01:29:57,454 - Yeah, it's nice. - He's here! 1475 01:29:57,495 --> 01:30:01,040 [Screams] Oh, the ear! Ahh! I see him! 1476 01:30:01,124 --> 01:30:03,459 Ike Graham has arrived at church. 1477 01:30:03,501 --> 01:30:05,669 [Excited Chattering] 1478 01:30:05,752 --> 01:30:07,796 - Is this your first marriage? - Is this your last marriage? 1479 01:30:07,879 --> 01:30:09,881 [Male Reporter] Any little Grahams in the future? 1480 01:30:09,964 --> 01:30:11,799 [Cory] Oh, he gets whacked! 1481 01:30:11,841 --> 01:30:14,760 - All right, okay. - This is such a good sign. 1482 01:30:14,843 --> 01:30:16,595 All right! Okay! 1483 01:30:16,678 --> 01:30:18,972 Get this-- Who makes this stuff? 1484 01:30:19,014 --> 01:30:22,850 - The veil is not attacking you. - Okay, okay. 1485 01:30:22,934 --> 01:30:27,562 - Now is the time to calm down. - Yes, okay. 1486 01:30:27,646 --> 01:30:31,649 Cause if you don't get calm, we won't get your dress on. 1487 01:30:31,691 --> 01:30:34,360 A girl can't get married in flannel. 1488 01:30:36,612 --> 01:30:40,740 He's the one. He really is the one. 1489 01:30:40,824 --> 01:30:43,868 - [Excited Chattering] - You're not invited. 1490 01:30:43,951 --> 01:30:46,078 Go back to New York. Get outta here. 1491 01:30:46,161 --> 01:30:48,914 - He's the one! - [Excited Giggling] 1492 01:30:48,997 --> 01:30:50,332 He's the one! 1493 01:30:50,373 --> 01:30:52,917 We gotta hurry 'cause the Sunday school kids are coming. 1494 01:30:53,000 --> 01:30:54,960 - Mrs. Pressman. - There's no microphone. 1495 01:30:55,044 --> 01:30:59,005 - Please, put it there. No, no fun. - You're no fun. 1496 01:30:59,047 --> 01:31:01,007 I was gonna do this Scorsese thing-- 1497 01:31:01,049 --> 01:31:03,843 - Whatever. Just do it. Shoot, shoot. - Ike. 1498 01:31:03,885 --> 01:31:07,971 Friends! Oh, God! 1499 01:31:08,055 --> 01:31:10,682 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1500 01:31:10,724 --> 01:31:15,227 - Thank you. We are friends, aren't we? - Of course we are. 1501 01:31:15,311 --> 01:31:18,105 - You'll be my best man. - Good, but I'm not sure I'm the best. 1502 01:31:18,188 --> 01:31:20,357 Go see the pastor. He'll tell you what to do. 1503 01:31:20,398 --> 01:31:21,399 All right. 1504 01:31:21,483 --> 01:31:24,152 If someone will tell me what to do. 1505 01:31:24,235 --> 01:31:26,320 Mmm. You always looked great in that suit. 1506 01:31:26,403 --> 01:31:28,864 And, Ike? 1507 01:31:28,906 --> 01:31:31,574 I'm happy for you, honey. 1508 01:31:31,658 --> 01:31:35,536 I have a car out back for you in case she decides to run. 1509 01:31:36,787 --> 01:31:39,623 I have an invitation. Lou! He's with me. 1510 01:31:44,460 --> 01:31:46,420 You look terrible. 1511 01:31:46,504 --> 01:31:49,590 Thanks. 1512 01:31:49,673 --> 01:31:51,925 Here. 1513 01:31:51,967 --> 01:31:55,386 - Ike, I'm glad it's you. - Really? 1514 01:31:55,428 --> 01:31:57,430 I wouldn't want to have found out... 1515 01:31:57,513 --> 01:31:59,932 I wasn't the one for her in the fourth quarter. 1516 01:32:02,767 --> 01:32:06,020 Well, Coach, any final advice? 1517 01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:09,565 Maintain eye contact. 1518 01:32:09,606 --> 01:32:13,860 Eye contact. Eye contact. Eye contact. 1519 01:32:29,581 --> 01:32:31,500 [Whispering] What have you got going on here? 1520 01:32:31,583 --> 01:32:34,878 You wanna look just special for the wedding. 1521 01:32:34,961 --> 01:32:38,589 You should thank me and Lou for lending you the wedding car. '63 Buick. 1522 01:32:38,672 --> 01:32:40,174 Thank you, Mrs. Trout. 1523 01:32:40,257 --> 01:32:42,634 What are you saying? We're practically family. 1524 01:32:42,718 --> 01:32:46,429 - How's that there? - My name is Fisher. What's yours? 1525 01:32:46,471 --> 01:32:49,807 Nice. Betty. That doesn't want to come out, does it? 1526 01:32:49,890 --> 01:32:52,267 - You just pulled a hair from my neck. - There we are. 1527 01:32:52,309 --> 01:32:55,353 -Mrs. Trout, please. This is my wedding. -Yes. 1528 01:32:55,437 --> 01:32:57,355 Sit down. Thank you. We're starting soon. 1529 01:32:57,438 --> 01:33:00,107 - Who was that? - Mrs. Trout. 1530 01:33:00,149 --> 01:33:02,192 - He doesn't have a-- - Don't do-- Don't. 1531 01:33:02,276 --> 01:33:05,195 I just want that to be able to-- Fold it in the pocket. 1532 01:33:05,278 --> 01:33:09,615 - Right in the pocket. - Please! Just go-- [Sighs] 1533 01:33:09,657 --> 01:33:13,785 - Good luck, sweet girl. - Oh, thank you, Grandma. I love you. 1534 01:33:13,827 --> 01:33:17,622 - I'm really rooting for this one. - Okay, Dad. 1535 01:33:17,664 --> 01:33:20,082 [Cory] The place is packed... 1536 01:33:20,166 --> 01:33:22,418 with the whole town of Hale on the bride's side, 1537 01:33:22,501 --> 01:33:26,921 and with many New Yorkers on the groom's side. 1538 01:33:27,005 --> 01:33:29,966 - Is this taken? - No. 1539 01:33:30,049 --> 01:33:32,509 I'm Elaine from Manhattan. 1540 01:33:32,551 --> 01:33:35,220 - I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt. - I'm sorry. 1541 01:33:35,303 --> 01:33:39,056 That's okay. There's a lid for every pot. 1542 01:33:39,140 --> 01:33:42,518 And I'm comfortable with Ike. 1543 01:33:42,559 --> 01:33:47,313 It's like Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. 1544 01:33:47,355 --> 01:33:50,650 Right. Gene Tunney. 1545 01:33:52,026 --> 01:33:53,986 - Whoa. - Spit! 1546 01:33:55,362 --> 01:33:57,280 Let's go. 1547 01:33:58,740 --> 01:34:02,868 Uh, okay. No sauntering down the aisle. I don't like that. 1548 01:34:02,952 --> 01:34:05,912 - Make time. Just get there. Just go. - Fine. 1549 01:34:05,996 --> 01:34:08,289 % [Organ] 1550 01:34:19,215 --> 01:34:21,217 All rise, please. 1551 01:34:26,555 --> 01:34:29,390 % ["The Wedding March"] 1552 01:34:38,189 --> 01:34:40,233 The bride is walking down the aisle. 1553 01:34:40,316 --> 01:34:43,736 Maggie Carpenter is walking down the aisle. 1554 01:34:43,819 --> 01:34:46,780 [Crowd Gasping] 1555 01:34:48,406 --> 01:34:52,201 - Oh, she's pausing. - Stay with me. 1556 01:34:52,243 --> 01:34:54,203 [Bob] Keep eye contact. 1557 01:34:54,245 --> 01:34:56,413 [Relieved Chuckling] 1558 01:35:05,296 --> 01:35:08,090 [Pastor] Please be seated. Thank you. 1559 01:35:08,173 --> 01:35:10,508 I sneaked in a camera. 1560 01:35:10,592 --> 01:35:13,427 We are gathered here today-- 1561 01:35:13,511 --> 01:35:14,762 Please, no cameras. 1562 01:35:14,845 --> 01:35:18,890 Could we hold off photos until the end of the ceremony? 1563 01:35:18,932 --> 01:35:20,350 Thank you. 1564 01:35:21,601 --> 01:35:23,644 No. 1565 01:35:23,728 --> 01:35:27,272 - [Pastor] Where's she going? - [Ike] Don't. 1566 01:35:27,356 --> 01:35:31,276 - Maggie! - Block the doors! 1567 01:35:32,735 --> 01:35:35,362 No, Maggie, don't! 1568 01:35:41,701 --> 01:35:44,245 Oh, never a dull moment at a Maggie wedding. 1569 01:35:44,287 --> 01:35:46,372 There's a man coming with lots of candy in his pocket. 1570 01:35:46,455 --> 01:35:49,333 If you tickle him, he'll give you all his candy. Here you go, little queen. 1571 01:35:49,416 --> 01:35:51,918 - Maggie! -Just tickle him. 1572 01:35:53,628 --> 01:35:57,298 - [Children] Give us some candy! - Whoa. No, not me. 1573 01:35:57,381 --> 01:36:00,258 Get the naughty bride. Naughty bride. 1574 01:36:00,300 --> 01:36:03,594 No, no. It's an Armani suit. 1575 01:36:05,805 --> 01:36:08,223 Wait! 1576 01:36:10,058 --> 01:36:11,851 - Wait! - Maggie! 1577 01:36:13,061 --> 01:36:15,438 Go. Go. Go, go. 1578 01:36:16,814 --> 01:36:20,442 Maggie! Maggie! 1579 01:36:20,484 --> 01:36:23,820 Don't do it! Don't! 1580 01:36:23,903 --> 01:36:25,821 Maggie! 1581 01:36:25,905 --> 01:36:29,116 - He's running after her. - He's in pretty good shape too. 1582 01:36:29,158 --> 01:36:32,744 Maggie! No, Maggie! 1583 01:36:32,827 --> 01:36:34,746 Where do you think she's going? 1584 01:36:34,829 --> 01:36:37,164 Wherever it is, she'll be there by 1 0:30 tomorrow. 1585 01:36:39,416 --> 01:36:41,626 Maggie! No! 1586 01:36:47,006 --> 01:36:48,966 Maggie! 1587 01:36:49,008 --> 01:36:51,968 No! No! 1588 01:36:52,010 --> 01:36:54,554 Maggie! 1589 01:37:00,184 --> 01:37:02,352 Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham! 1590 01:37:05,188 --> 01:37:08,941 [Mooing] 1591 01:37:09,024 --> 01:37:11,652 - Mr. Graham, what is your next move? - How do you feel now? 1592 01:37:11,693 --> 01:37:13,987 - What will you do? - I know you must feel terrible. 1593 01:37:14,029 --> 01:37:16,114 [Chattering Continues] 1594 01:37:16,197 --> 01:37:19,492 - Mr. Graham, talk to us. - That's enough. 1595 01:37:19,533 --> 01:37:21,535 Come on. Leave him alone. 1596 01:37:29,208 --> 01:37:31,627 "Hardware Honey Goes Nuts and Bolts." 1597 01:37:31,710 --> 01:37:33,628 How many times is she gonna do this? 1598 01:37:38,049 --> 01:37:41,927 % Aura Lee % 1599 01:37:42,010 --> 01:37:45,430 - % Aura Lee % - [Cory] Finally, in local news, 1600 01:37:45,513 --> 01:37:48,641 the mayor has requested that we all stop gossiping about last week's... 1601 01:37:48,724 --> 01:37:51,560 Maggie Carpenter "almost wedding." 1602 01:37:51,602 --> 01:37:54,688 This is Cory Flemming for W-HALE saying... 1603 01:37:54,771 --> 01:37:57,565 may the good Lord make you smart enough to live in a small town. 1604 01:37:57,649 --> 01:37:59,609 And we cut. 1605 01:37:59,692 --> 01:38:02,528 [Lee] Camera loves ya. 1606 01:38:04,404 --> 01:38:07,240 - Hey, you okay? - Yeah. 1607 01:38:07,323 --> 01:38:09,742 I'm closing. You wanna go to Butch's for a drink? 1608 01:38:09,825 --> 01:38:12,786 Uh, you know, I'm gonna finish up here, 1609 01:38:12,870 --> 01:38:14,913 and then I think I'll just head home. 1610 01:38:14,996 --> 01:38:16,998 Okay. 1611 01:38:18,791 --> 01:38:21,460 You know, 1612 01:38:21,544 --> 01:38:24,296 I was thinking about that "V" thing. 1613 01:38:24,379 --> 01:38:27,340 And I think the "V" in the geese... 1614 01:38:27,424 --> 01:38:32,094 was half of a "W" for-- 1615 01:38:32,178 --> 01:38:34,096 For, uh-- 1616 01:38:34,179 --> 01:38:38,308 - W-W-What are you talking about? - Wedding! Wedding. 1617 01:38:38,349 --> 01:38:42,103 You just gotta get the rest of your ducks in a row. 1618 01:38:43,854 --> 01:38:46,356 Thank you. 1619 01:38:49,692 --> 01:38:51,819 - So you still think that he-- - You're quick. 1620 01:38:51,902 --> 01:38:54,613 You're very quick. 1621 01:38:59,659 --> 01:39:02,661 [Sighs] 1622 01:39:13,462 --> 01:39:16,298 [Male Singer] % I thought that % 1623 01:39:16,381 --> 01:39:21,010 % You'd be loving me % 1624 01:39:21,094 --> 01:39:26,807 % I thought you were the one who'd stay forever % 1625 01:39:28,350 --> 01:39:33,646 % But now forever's come and gone % 1626 01:39:33,729 --> 01:39:39,317 %And I'm still here alone % 1627 01:39:40,568 --> 01:39:44,196 % 'Cause you were only playin' % 1628 01:39:44,280 --> 01:39:47,491 % You were only playin' with my heart % 1629 01:39:47,574 --> 01:39:51,244 % I was never waiting % 1630 01:39:51,327 --> 01:39:55,498 % I was never waiting for the tears to start % 1631 01:39:55,581 --> 01:39:59,709 % It was you % 1632 01:39:59,751 --> 01:40:03,212 % Who put the clouds around me % 1633 01:40:03,296 --> 01:40:06,757 % It was you % 1634 01:40:06,840 --> 01:40:10,343 % Who made the tears fall down % 1635 01:40:10,427 --> 01:40:13,846 % It was you % 1636 01:40:13,930 --> 01:40:17,349 % Who broke my heart in pieces % 1637 01:40:17,433 --> 01:40:21,186 % It was you, it was you % 1638 01:40:21,269 --> 01:40:26,232 % Who made my blue eyes blue Ooh, ooh % 1639 01:40:26,315 --> 01:40:29,026 % I never should've trusted you % 1640 01:40:29,109 --> 01:40:31,778 Okay, here we go. 1641 01:40:31,861 --> 01:40:35,948 % I thought that I'd be % 1642 01:40:36,032 --> 01:40:38,992 % All you need % 1643 01:40:39,076 --> 01:40:42,954 % In your eyes I thought I saw my--% 1644 01:40:43,037 --> 01:40:45,873 - Ike, how's it goin'? - Hey, Marvin. 1645 01:40:45,957 --> 01:40:47,875 That good, huh? 1646 01:40:47,958 --> 01:40:51,795 % 'Cause you had me believin' in a lie % 1647 01:40:51,878 --> 01:40:54,756 % Guess I couldn't see it % 1648 01:40:54,797 --> 01:40:59,843 % I guess I couldn't see it till I saw the light % 1649 01:40:59,927 --> 01:41:03,096 % It was you % 1650 01:41:03,138 --> 01:41:06,849 % It was you % 1651 01:41:06,932 --> 01:41:10,394 % Who put those clouds around me % 1652 01:41:10,477 --> 01:41:13,813 % It was you % 1653 01:41:13,897 --> 01:41:17,483 % Who made the tears fall down % 1654 01:41:17,566 --> 01:41:20,569 % Only you % 1655 01:41:20,652 --> 01:41:24,531 - [Phone Ringing] -% Who broke my heart in pieces % 1656 01:41:24,614 --> 01:41:27,283 [Answering Machine] Hi, it's me. 1657 01:41:27,325 --> 01:41:31,286 Leave a message after the beep. [Machine Beeps] 1658 01:41:31,328 --> 01:41:33,580 [Dial Tone] 1659 01:41:37,333 --> 01:41:39,168 Hello, Ike. 1660 01:41:49,718 --> 01:41:54,097 Don't tell me my doorman is one of your many admirers? 1661 01:41:56,099 --> 01:41:58,684 I'm making friends with your cat. 1662 01:42:00,019 --> 01:42:01,937 Is it okay that I'm here? 1663 01:42:02,020 --> 01:42:05,815 I don't have much choice in the matter, do l? 1664 01:42:05,857 --> 01:42:08,985 But, I can't speak for Italics. Traitor. 1665 01:42:09,068 --> 01:42:11,111 [Purring] 1666 01:42:11,195 --> 01:42:12,988 I don't blame you for being mad. 1667 01:42:13,030 --> 01:42:15,782 Or furious. 1668 01:42:16,866 --> 01:42:19,702 Irate? Livid. 1669 01:42:19,785 --> 01:42:22,538 - [Meowing] - What is it, Maggie? 1670 01:42:22,621 --> 01:42:24,539 You here on business? 1671 01:42:24,623 --> 01:42:27,959 By the way, I saw your lamps. 1672 01:42:28,042 --> 01:42:32,129 They're terrific. Yeah, really. 1673 01:42:32,212 --> 01:42:35,465 - It's something I've always wanted to-- - [Door Closes] 1674 01:42:35,549 --> 01:42:38,926 You could make breaking and entering into a new career. 1675 01:42:42,137 --> 01:42:44,848 So, what are you doing here anyway? 1676 01:42:47,725 --> 01:42:51,270 I wanted to talk to you... 1677 01:42:51,353 --> 01:42:56,524 about why I run, 1678 01:42:56,608 --> 01:42:59,861 sometimes ride, away from things. 1679 01:43:02,655 --> 01:43:05,324 - Does it matter? - I think so. 1680 01:43:05,407 --> 01:43:07,325 [Clears Throat] 1681 01:43:07,409 --> 01:43:12,580 When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody... 1682 01:43:12,663 --> 01:43:18,376 who had no idea who I really was. 1683 01:43:18,460 --> 01:43:23,297 And it was only half the other person's fault... 1684 01:43:23,380 --> 01:43:28,134 because I had done everything to convince him... 1685 01:43:28,218 --> 01:43:30,303 that I was exactly what he wanted. 1686 01:43:30,386 --> 01:43:33,847 So, it was good... 1687 01:43:33,931 --> 01:43:38,727 that I didn't go through with it because it would've been a lie. 1688 01:43:38,810 --> 01:43:42,521 But you-- 1689 01:43:42,605 --> 01:43:45,065 You knew the real me. 1690 01:43:47,109 --> 01:43:49,027 Yes, I did. 1691 01:43:49,110 --> 01:43:51,612 I didn't. 1692 01:43:52,989 --> 01:43:57,242 Still, I ended up chasing a truck. 1693 01:44:10,962 --> 01:44:14,882 I can't, um, do anything about the truck. 1694 01:44:16,842 --> 01:44:18,760 But, uh-- 1695 01:44:23,222 --> 01:44:25,933 - Benedict. - Arnold. 1696 01:44:26,016 --> 01:44:28,602 I love eggs Benedict. 1697 01:44:28,685 --> 01:44:31,437 I hate all the other kinds of eggs. 1698 01:44:31,479 --> 01:44:35,691 I hate big weddings, everybody staring. 1699 01:44:35,774 --> 01:44:38,777 I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. 1700 01:44:38,860 --> 01:44:42,447 And if I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse. 1701 01:44:42,530 --> 01:44:44,991 - Should I be writing this down? - And there's something else. 1702 01:44:45,074 --> 01:44:47,576 No, you can tell me. Don't-- 1703 01:44:47,659 --> 01:44:49,578 Okay. 1704 01:44:54,582 --> 01:44:56,542 These are for you. 1705 01:45:01,921 --> 01:45:04,924 - Used-- - Well, they're mine. 1706 01:45:05,007 --> 01:45:09,970 I'm turning in my running shoes to you. 1707 01:45:13,223 --> 01:45:15,141 This is serious. 1708 01:45:15,224 --> 01:45:16,892 And there's one more thing. 1709 01:45:16,976 --> 01:45:19,853 I know, the mind reels that there could be more after this. 1710 01:45:19,937 --> 01:45:23,940 -But, um, if you could just have a seat. -[Clears Throat] 1711 01:45:27,276 --> 01:45:30,612 Let's just not have that there. 1712 01:45:30,696 --> 01:45:33,406 Okay. Okay. 1713 01:45:38,410 --> 01:45:42,205 - Oh, no. My, God, no. - No, no. Don't hide your face. 1714 01:45:42,289 --> 01:45:45,291 This happens once in a lifetime, and it's definitely a first for me. 1715 01:45:45,375 --> 01:45:48,460 You're not gonna want to miss it, so pay close attention. 1716 01:45:55,216 --> 01:45:59,803 I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham. 1717 01:46:02,472 --> 01:46:03,765 Will you marry me? 1718 01:46:03,765 --> 01:46:05,433 Will you marry me? 1719 01:46:11,813 --> 01:46:13,732 [Laughs] 1720 01:46:15,275 --> 01:46:18,486 I gotta think about this a little bit. 1721 01:46:18,569 --> 01:46:22,656 - Good. I was hoping you would say that. - You were not! Not true. 1722 01:46:22,739 --> 01:46:25,658 If you'd said yes, I wouldn't be able to do this next part... 1723 01:46:25,742 --> 01:46:27,577 and I've been practicing so let me-- 1724 01:46:29,120 --> 01:46:31,622 Okay. [Exhales] 1725 01:46:31,705 --> 01:46:34,416 - Ready? - I'm listening. 1726 01:46:37,960 --> 01:46:39,920 [Sighs] 1727 01:46:42,256 --> 01:46:47,051 I guarantee that we'll have tough times. 1728 01:46:47,093 --> 01:46:50,221 And I guarantee that at some point... 1729 01:46:50,304 --> 01:46:53,765 one or both of us will want to get out. 1730 01:46:55,183 --> 01:46:58,019 But I also guarantee... 1731 01:46:58,102 --> 01:47:01,564 that if I don't ask you to be mine, 1732 01:47:01,647 --> 01:47:04,232 I'll regret it for the rest of my life. 1733 01:47:05,483 --> 01:47:07,944 'Cause I know in my heart... 1734 01:47:07,986 --> 01:47:11,280 you're the only one for me. 1735 01:47:18,328 --> 01:47:20,955 That's a pretty good speech, Maggie. 1736 01:47:21,038 --> 01:47:24,499 I borrowed it from this writer I know. 1737 01:47:26,876 --> 01:47:29,545 So? 1738 01:47:42,598 --> 01:47:46,935 %[Miles Davis] 1739 01:47:55,651 --> 01:47:58,111 Dance with me. 1740 01:48:21,255 --> 01:48:24,466 [Pastor] We are gathered here today to celebrate the union... 1741 01:48:24,508 --> 01:48:27,844 of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham. 1742 01:48:40,188 --> 01:48:43,024 - Do you have the rings? - Yes. 1743 01:48:43,065 --> 01:48:46,276 Do you, Ike, take Maggie to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1744 01:48:49,821 --> 01:48:51,739 I do. 1745 01:48:51,823 --> 01:48:56,201 Do you, Maggie, take Ike to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1746 01:48:56,243 --> 01:48:58,203 I do. 1747 01:48:58,245 --> 01:49:00,997 [Pastor] In this life that you share together, 1748 01:49:01,039 --> 01:49:05,000 may your individuality strengthen your love. 1749 01:49:05,084 --> 01:49:08,253 With the power vested in me, 1750 01:49:08,337 --> 01:49:13,049 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 1751 01:49:13,091 --> 01:49:15,968 You may kiss the bride. 1752 01:49:29,187 --> 01:49:30,730 [Applauding] 1753 01:49:45,826 --> 01:49:48,412 Guess what. She did it! 1754 01:49:48,495 --> 01:49:50,747 Maggie Carpenter got married. 1755 01:49:50,831 --> 01:49:53,083 % Alleluia % 1756 01:49:58,045 --> 01:50:00,922 Betty, she did it. She did it!