1 00:00:09,822 --> 00:00:14,822 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:47,854 --> 00:00:50,155 Hey, man. Can I get two vodka sodas, please? 3 00:00:50,157 --> 00:00:51,789 Sure. 4 00:00:51,791 --> 00:00:53,725 Thank you. You know what? 5 00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:55,160 Go ahead and keep that for yourself, all right? 6 00:00:55,162 --> 00:00:56,464 Oh, thanks, man. 7 00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:01,970 Yeah, I can't wait to meet you, too, Madison. 8 00:01:02,803 --> 00:01:05,138 Oh, those babies are legit. 9 00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:08,041 Jeremy? 10 00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:12,213 Uh, no, sorry. 11 00:01:13,546 --> 00:01:16,048 - But this is you, isn't it? - Well, yeah, 12 00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:17,551 - but you can't be... - Yeah, Madison. 13 00:01:18,218 --> 00:01:19,720 Yeah, I am. 14 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,921 Joke! Oh, my God. 15 00:01:22,923 --> 00:01:24,222 - You should see your face. - Oh, my God. 16 00:01:24,224 --> 00:01:25,691 - No, obviously I'm not her. - Okay. Oh, man. 17 00:01:25,693 --> 00:01:27,659 - No. 'Course I'm not Madison. - Thank Christ! 18 00:01:27,661 --> 00:01:29,493 Because honestly I was shitting myself there. 19 00:01:29,495 --> 00:01:30,561 I mean, no offense. 20 00:01:30,563 --> 00:01:31,731 Oh, none taken. 21 00:01:31,733 --> 00:01:33,332 It's really risky meeting people online. 22 00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:34,865 You never know if people are gonna be as ugly 23 00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:36,267 on the outside as they are on the inside. 24 00:01:36,269 --> 00:01:38,403 - Yeah, right, exactly. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 25 00:01:38,405 --> 00:01:40,338 I'm sorry, is Madison on her way? 26 00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:42,273 Uh, no, no, no. Madison's not coming. 27 00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:43,507 What? Why? 28 00:01:43,509 --> 00:01:44,576 Well, she sent me to see 29 00:01:44,578 --> 00:01:46,344 if you were truly in love with her 30 00:01:46,346 --> 00:01:48,314 and clearly you're not, so goodbye, Jeremy. 31 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,680 Wait! No, no, no, wait. 32 00:01:49,682 --> 00:01:51,115 Of course I love her. 33 00:01:51,117 --> 00:01:53,585 I have been texting with her for, like, a frigging month! 34 00:01:53,587 --> 00:01:56,754 This is the girl that I'm gonna let keep my babies 35 00:01:56,756 --> 00:01:59,225 and I will pay her her due child support. 36 00:01:59,227 --> 00:02:01,593 I will visit every other weekend 37 00:02:01,595 --> 00:02:03,962 and say hi to the kids and put 'em on my lap 38 00:02:03,964 --> 00:02:06,031 and whatever you do, okay? 39 00:02:06,033 --> 00:02:08,599 That is how much I love her. I swear to Christ! 40 00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:11,302 But can you love her birth defect? 41 00:02:11,304 --> 00:02:13,337 'Course I can. 42 00:02:13,339 --> 00:02:14,772 I mean, it's on the inside, right? 43 00:02:14,774 --> 00:02:16,243 Like, it's in her brain or in her heart? 44 00:02:19,446 --> 00:02:23,715 When Madison was born, she was born with A cups. 45 00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:25,450 - No, but her photos, they... - Yeah. 46 00:02:25,452 --> 00:02:27,885 What you're looking at there is expert contouring 47 00:02:27,887 --> 00:02:29,790 and well-placed chicken cutlets. 48 00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:32,023 She's really a double-A, 49 00:02:32,025 --> 00:02:33,224 if I'm gonna be, like, honest with you. 50 00:02:33,226 --> 00:02:35,060 A triple-A in some brands. 51 00:02:35,062 --> 00:02:36,795 Basically, if her tits were batteries, 52 00:02:36,797 --> 00:02:38,364 they'd go into a watch. 53 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,897 That's why she didn't wanna come here 54 00:02:39,899 --> 00:02:42,133 and meet you in real life. 55 00:02:42,135 --> 00:02:44,336 Well, not until she has the boob job, anyways. 56 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,736 Wait, she's getting a boob job? 57 00:02:45,738 --> 00:02:47,105 When is that happening, then? 58 00:02:47,107 --> 00:02:48,540 - In a year. - A year? 59 00:02:48,542 --> 00:02:50,474 Well, silicone doesn't just grow on trees. 60 00:02:50,476 --> 00:02:52,610 - She has to save up. - Well, how much does she need? 61 00:02:52,612 --> 00:02:54,346 Just, like, $300. 62 00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:57,318 500 if she's gonna go full bouncy castle. 63 00:02:57,985 --> 00:02:59,084 Okay. 64 00:02:59,086 --> 00:03:00,785 You know what? 65 00:03:00,787 --> 00:03:02,354 Tell her I'll give her the $500. 66 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:03,789 I just want her to be happy. 67 00:03:03,791 --> 00:03:06,457 - That is so selfless of you. - I know. 68 00:03:06,459 --> 00:03:08,092 Do you prefer Venmo or PayPal? 69 00:03:08,094 --> 00:03:09,260 Venmo's fine. 70 00:03:09,262 --> 00:03:11,529 That's her! The fake tit-job bitch! 71 00:03:11,531 --> 00:03:12,630 Get her! 72 00:03:12,632 --> 00:03:13,865 I needed a new scene anyway. 73 00:03:13,867 --> 00:03:15,033 She stole my money, man! 74 00:03:15,035 --> 00:03:17,037 Move! Out of my way, come on! 75 00:03:18,304 --> 00:03:19,972 Hey, where do I send the money? 76 00:03:19,974 --> 00:03:21,108 Go! 77 00:03:25,112 --> 00:03:26,945 Hey, stop that woman! 78 00:03:26,947 --> 00:03:28,982 Hey, you! Stop! 79 00:03:33,553 --> 00:03:35,390 Go after her! Quick! 80 00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:41,291 You let her get away! 81 00:03:41,293 --> 00:03:44,896 Well, at least we didn't give her $500 first! Idiot. 82 00:03:58,812 --> 00:04:01,148 Trashy dress, you did it again. 83 00:05:00,775 --> 00:05:02,107 Hmph! 84 00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:50,187 Begone! You French women are bad luck! 85 00:05:53,461 --> 00:05:56,427 And shave your armpits. Please. 86 00:05:56,429 --> 00:05:57,963 Well, come on, deal again! 87 00:05:57,965 --> 00:06:00,667 Our apologies, monsieur, but you are out of credit. 88 00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:05,939 Hold on, I may have a solution. 89 00:06:06,805 --> 00:06:08,305 How's this for credit? 90 00:06:08,307 --> 00:06:10,608 It's beautiful, monsieur. But I cannot accept it. 91 00:06:10,610 --> 00:06:11,675 Why the hell not? 92 00:06:11,677 --> 00:06:12,978 I'm afraid 93 00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:15,280 rumor has it that you are selling your wife's jewels 94 00:06:15,282 --> 00:06:16,682 to bankroll your gambling debts. 95 00:06:16,684 --> 00:06:18,653 That is an outrageous slur! 96 00:06:29,963 --> 00:06:32,697 Hey. Whiskey. 97 00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:34,365 Uh, excuse me? Excuse me? 98 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,401 How much are the red ones worth? 99 00:06:36,403 --> 00:06:38,803 - Uh, one thousand. - And the blue ones? 100 00:06:38,805 --> 00:06:40,805 Five thousand. 101 00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:42,807 I love that game 102 00:06:42,809 --> 00:06:44,076 with the wheel and the ball and the numbers. 103 00:06:44,078 --> 00:06:45,310 I don't even really know how to play. 104 00:06:45,312 --> 00:06:46,913 Hello. 105 00:06:47,848 --> 00:06:49,348 Uh, hello. 106 00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:53,084 My name is Mathias Albrecht von Rüdinger der Kleinzogen 107 00:06:53,086 --> 00:06:54,720 Hindenburg-an-Sohr. And you are? 108 00:06:54,722 --> 00:06:55,886 - Janet. - Janet. 109 00:06:55,888 --> 00:06:57,221 What an enchanting name. 110 00:06:57,223 --> 00:06:59,089 You're American, yes? 111 00:06:59,091 --> 00:07:00,694 - Yes. - I'm Danish. 112 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:03,261 Like the pastry? 113 00:07:03,263 --> 00:07:05,329 Yeah. Yeah. 114 00:07:05,331 --> 00:07:06,898 So, what brings you to the South of France? 115 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:07,901 An airplane. 116 00:07:08,735 --> 00:07:10,535 Yes, and why are you here? 117 00:07:10,537 --> 00:07:12,536 Oh. Well, um... 118 00:07:12,538 --> 00:07:15,007 I thought I would treat myself. 119 00:07:15,009 --> 00:07:16,574 I just won some money in the lottery. 120 00:07:16,576 --> 00:07:18,709 Wow. How much did you win? 121 00:07:18,711 --> 00:07:19,944 $87 million! 122 00:07:21,715 --> 00:07:23,047 I'm sorry, I don't speak foreign. 123 00:07:23,049 --> 00:07:24,051 Janet... 124 00:07:25,052 --> 00:07:26,918 I have something in my pants 125 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,386 that I think you're going to like. 126 00:07:28,388 --> 00:07:29,723 - Ew. - No, no, no. 127 00:07:31,458 --> 00:07:32,459 This. 128 00:07:32,893 --> 00:07:34,059 Oh. 129 00:07:34,061 --> 00:07:35,726 This belonged to my dear mama. 130 00:07:35,728 --> 00:07:37,562 - May I? - Yes. 131 00:07:37,564 --> 00:07:39,230 Sadly, I have to sell it, 132 00:07:39,232 --> 00:07:41,065 'cause it reminds me too much of her. 133 00:07:41,067 --> 00:07:42,233 Is it valuable? 134 00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:45,069 It's very valuable, yes. $500,000. 135 00:07:45,071 --> 00:07:46,905 I like it 'cause it's shiny. 136 00:07:46,907 --> 00:07:48,706 And you're in luck. It's for sale. 137 00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:50,211 That's crazy. I... 138 00:07:50,977 --> 00:07:53,144 Do I have enough here? 139 00:07:53,146 --> 00:07:55,780 - How much is this worth? - That is a coaster. 140 00:07:55,782 --> 00:07:57,581 And sadly, no, you don't. 141 00:07:57,583 --> 00:08:01,488 But maybe you could pay the difference in another way? 142 00:08:02,989 --> 00:08:05,790 I have a 9:00 dinner reservation. 143 00:08:05,792 --> 00:08:07,259 As do I. 144 00:08:07,261 --> 00:08:09,730 Well, I have my reputation to think of. 145 00:08:10,230 --> 00:08:11,896 As do I. 146 00:08:11,898 --> 00:08:13,497 I have a boyfriend. 147 00:08:13,499 --> 00:08:14,966 As do I. 148 00:08:14,968 --> 00:08:16,067 Freeze! 149 00:08:16,069 --> 00:08:17,269 Inspector Desjardins 150 00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:19,403 of Beaumont-Sur-Mer police. Get up. 151 00:08:19,405 --> 00:08:21,338 Okay. Who sent you? My wife? 152 00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:22,473 Do you take bribes? 153 00:08:22,475 --> 00:08:23,908 Not you. Her. 154 00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:26,177 - She is under arrest. - What? 155 00:08:26,179 --> 00:08:30,516 Those chips were stolen from this pathetic old man. 156 00:08:30,518 --> 00:08:33,350 This woman is an international con artist. 157 00:08:33,352 --> 00:08:35,586 No, no, no. She's just a dumb American. 158 00:08:35,588 --> 00:08:38,023 No, it's true. She lured this man 159 00:08:38,025 --> 00:08:39,857 with the promise of a private performance 160 00:08:39,859 --> 00:08:42,326 of her college gymnastics routine. 161 00:08:42,328 --> 00:08:43,430 Here. 162 00:08:45,832 --> 00:08:46,998 Hmm? 163 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,235 Now, give back the bracelet. 164 00:09:06,486 --> 00:09:08,687 It would take an expert to spot the fake. 165 00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:10,024 - Or his wife. - Hmm. 166 00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:12,392 Thank you, Albert, 167 00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:14,958 for everything. 168 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,495 Excellent research, Brigitte. The mark was perfect. 169 00:09:17,497 --> 00:09:18,629 As you always say... 170 00:09:18,631 --> 00:09:21,032 You can't cheat an honest man. 171 00:09:21,034 --> 00:09:22,734 Now, I have a buyer in Zurich, 172 00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,705 so I shall see you in a few days. Au revoir. 173 00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:43,554 - Oh. - Oh! 174 00:09:45,858 --> 00:09:47,261 Sorry. Comin' through. 175 00:09:51,030 --> 00:09:52,529 I'll take the filet mignon. 176 00:09:52,531 --> 00:09:53,700 Very good, sir. 177 00:09:58,304 --> 00:09:59,739 Is this seat taken? 178 00:10:01,174 --> 00:10:02,474 I'm starving. 179 00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:05,244 I could murder a triple cheeseburger right now. 180 00:10:05,246 --> 00:10:06,247 Or... 181 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:14,586 I'll just get a glass of water, please. 182 00:10:14,588 --> 00:10:17,022 - Is that all, madam? - Yeah, that's it. 183 00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:19,727 I'll just help myself to the sugar packets. 184 00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:21,793 They're free, right? 185 00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,264 - Yes. - Yeah. 186 00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:28,769 Mmm. 187 00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:35,373 That'll fill me up. 188 00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:36,807 I've to save all my money 189 00:10:36,809 --> 00:10:38,277 'cause I'm here to find my sister. 190 00:10:38,279 --> 00:10:39,446 This is her. 191 00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:42,746 - That is your sister? - Half-sister. 192 00:10:42,748 --> 00:10:44,182 But we're like sisters. 193 00:10:44,184 --> 00:10:45,783 - What's happened to her? - She's been taken. 194 00:10:45,785 --> 00:10:46,985 Taken? Like... 195 00:10:46,987 --> 00:10:50,322 Like by men who sell hot white virgins 196 00:10:50,324 --> 00:10:52,624 to evil, bearded kajillionaires on yachts. 197 00:10:52,626 --> 00:10:54,392 - Really? - The whole irony is, 198 00:10:54,394 --> 00:10:55,927 it was her friend she was with 199 00:10:55,929 --> 00:10:57,528 who was the massive slut. Tiffany. 200 00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:58,864 Tiffany is the slut? 201 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,767 So, I roughed up these guys, and they said to me, 202 00:11:01,769 --> 00:11:05,503 "Premium-grade Australian meat on auction tomorrow." 203 00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:07,605 That fits my sister's description perfectly, 204 00:11:07,607 --> 00:11:09,073 - don't you think? - Yes. 205 00:11:09,075 --> 00:11:10,842 So, I'm gonna get on that boat and buy her back. 206 00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,745 Look, I am very moved by your story. 207 00:11:13,747 --> 00:11:15,679 - Order anything you like. - No, no, no. 208 00:11:15,681 --> 00:11:16,780 - Please, no? - No! 209 00:11:16,782 --> 00:11:18,283 - Please, no? - No, I couldn't. 210 00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:19,786 Please, I insist. 211 00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:25,121 I'll have a club sandwich, and an order of fries, 212 00:11:25,123 --> 00:11:26,624 order of onion rings, 213 00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:30,629 I'll take the shrimp cocktail. Is that good? How fresh is it? 214 00:11:30,631 --> 00:11:33,597 What's the soup of the day? Is it cold? 'Cause, ew, gross. 215 00:11:33,599 --> 00:11:35,600 That's disgusting. Why have cold soup? 216 00:11:35,602 --> 00:11:37,001 Just give me a Caesar salad. 217 00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:38,870 And then two slices of cake. 218 00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,605 - Do you want any cake? - No. 219 00:11:40,607 --> 00:11:42,005 Three slices of cake and a Diet Coke. 220 00:11:42,007 --> 00:11:43,176 Thank you. 221 00:11:47,179 --> 00:11:49,047 Will this be satisfactory, miss? 222 00:11:49,049 --> 00:11:50,148 Yes, this will do. 223 00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,716 Once again, I apologize 224 00:11:51,718 --> 00:11:53,283 for the flickering lights in coach. 225 00:11:53,285 --> 00:11:55,488 Epilepsy is a cruel mistress. 226 00:11:57,623 --> 00:11:58,758 Thank you. 227 00:12:03,663 --> 00:12:05,666 - Hey. - Hello. 228 00:12:10,002 --> 00:12:12,571 Forgive me, but I couldn't help but overhear 229 00:12:12,573 --> 00:12:14,339 your conversation in the dining car. 230 00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:15,873 - My condolences. - Hmm? 231 00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:18,142 About your sister's treacherous predicament. 232 00:12:18,144 --> 00:12:19,480 Oh. She'll be all right. 233 00:12:24,883 --> 00:12:26,518 Hmm. 234 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:27,851 Do you mind if I ask 235 00:12:27,853 --> 00:12:30,154 how long your sister's been held against her will? 236 00:12:30,156 --> 00:12:31,990 Oh. Listen, um... 237 00:12:31,992 --> 00:12:33,357 Josephine Chesterfield. 238 00:12:33,359 --> 00:12:34,591 Penny Rust. 239 00:12:34,593 --> 00:12:35,692 Delighted. 240 00:12:35,694 --> 00:12:37,227 Eh, what's up? 241 00:12:37,229 --> 00:12:39,764 Uh, listen, I think this is gonna be a really long ride 242 00:12:39,766 --> 00:12:42,234 and clearly you're, like, an exhausting person. 243 00:12:42,236 --> 00:12:43,902 So, I'm just gonna say this. 244 00:12:43,904 --> 00:12:45,736 I don't even have a sister. 245 00:12:45,738 --> 00:12:47,739 Are you saying you lied to that man? 246 00:12:47,741 --> 00:12:49,640 I don't wanna say it too loudly. 247 00:12:49,642 --> 00:12:51,411 I'm a con artist. 248 00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:53,879 I con. 249 00:12:53,881 --> 00:12:55,679 But that man was so kind to you, 250 00:12:55,681 --> 00:12:56,947 and he bought your dinner. 251 00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:59,583 Only after I showed him a picture of a hot chick. 252 00:12:59,585 --> 00:13:01,419 See, women have feelings. 253 00:13:01,421 --> 00:13:05,091 So, like, you just had sympathy or pity, 254 00:13:06,193 --> 00:13:08,192 or, I don't know, the other feeling 255 00:13:08,194 --> 00:13:11,596 and men see that quality in us and exploit us. 256 00:13:11,598 --> 00:13:13,932 So all I'm doin' is, like... 257 00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:17,033 ♪ Put that thing down Flip it and reverse it ♪ 258 00:13:17,035 --> 00:13:19,070 And then I'm now exploiting them. 259 00:13:19,072 --> 00:13:21,139 Are there many women in your industry? 260 00:13:21,141 --> 00:13:23,573 Uh... Sisters in arms, as it were? 261 00:13:23,575 --> 00:13:26,644 Well, not at my level, no. 262 00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:28,479 Yes, clearly you're in a class of your own. 263 00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:30,548 Oh! Except, of course there's Medusa. 264 00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:31,615 Oh? 265 00:13:31,617 --> 00:13:33,317 She's like the O.G. lady con artist. 266 00:13:33,319 --> 00:13:35,186 People say she could freeze a man's assets 267 00:13:35,188 --> 00:13:36,553 with just one look. 268 00:13:36,555 --> 00:13:38,222 Well... 269 00:13:38,224 --> 00:13:41,259 My horizons have certainly been expanded this evening. 270 00:13:41,261 --> 00:13:42,961 Where will the wind take you next? 271 00:13:42,963 --> 00:13:45,263 I'm going to this town on the Med, 272 00:13:45,265 --> 00:13:46,498 Beaumont-Sur-Mer. 273 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,400 Get this, apparently it's crawling with rich dudes. 274 00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:51,067 Well, I'm afraid you've been misinformed. 275 00:13:51,069 --> 00:13:53,803 You see, I live in Beaumont-Sur-Mer 276 00:13:53,805 --> 00:13:56,072 and I think you'll find it's a lesbian community. 277 00:13:56,074 --> 00:13:57,642 - Really? - Oh, yes. 278 00:13:57,644 --> 00:13:59,576 Honestly, you'd do better staying on to Portofino. 279 00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:02,179 Well, maybe I could work a woman. 280 00:14:02,181 --> 00:14:03,447 I don't know how you... 281 00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:05,182 Yeah, I could give it a go. 282 00:14:05,184 --> 00:14:07,320 But isn't your philosophy based on exploiting men? 283 00:14:08,655 --> 00:14:10,587 Penny? Penny. 284 00:14:10,589 --> 00:14:12,623 Sorry, were you... Sorry. 285 00:14:12,625 --> 00:14:15,427 I was just playing this game on my phone. 286 00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:17,528 Yes, of course. 287 00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,796 I just have to call my mother 288 00:14:18,798 --> 00:14:20,599 to let them know what time to expect me. 289 00:14:20,601 --> 00:14:21,568 Please. 290 00:14:31,878 --> 00:14:33,311 So, do you have a car here? 291 00:14:33,313 --> 00:14:34,712 I do. 292 00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:36,847 Oh, great. Do you mind if I, like, scab a lift off you? 293 00:14:36,849 --> 00:14:37,948 What? 294 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:39,450 You leaving the party already? 295 00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:41,054 Afraid so. Cheerio. 296 00:14:44,824 --> 00:14:46,224 Penny? 297 00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:48,458 Did you say Portofino was the next stop? 298 00:14:48,460 --> 00:14:51,229 Yo, Portofino is going to be turnt! 299 00:14:54,535 --> 00:14:56,067 What? 300 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,469 I don't know what you just said, 301 00:14:58,471 --> 00:14:59,870 but the answer is oui. 302 00:15:25,397 --> 00:15:27,231 How was last night? 303 00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,067 It was all I could arrange on such short notice. 304 00:15:29,069 --> 00:15:31,903 Jean and Lil Baguette were perfect. 305 00:15:31,905 --> 00:15:33,538 May I ask the reason for their involvement? 306 00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,440 I encountered a sort of pale gypsy 307 00:15:35,442 --> 00:15:37,341 who thought herself something of a grifter. 308 00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,244 Surely she was no match for you? 309 00:15:39,246 --> 00:15:41,745 Hmm, one can never be too careful, Brigitte. 310 00:15:41,747 --> 00:15:43,280 A poacher who shoots at rabbits 311 00:15:43,282 --> 00:15:45,048 may scare big game away. 312 00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:46,683 Speaking of... 313 00:15:46,685 --> 00:15:50,221 Next we have Gregor Gregorsky. 314 00:15:50,223 --> 00:15:52,389 Made his fortune in office supplies, 315 00:15:52,391 --> 00:15:54,225 married four times. 316 00:15:54,227 --> 00:15:55,927 He's a romantic. 317 00:15:55,929 --> 00:16:00,266 And he should be arriving... now. 318 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,740 Who is that with him? 319 00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:12,744 You must save your beautiful sister before she is defiled. 320 00:16:12,746 --> 00:16:14,879 I know, 'cause once she is defiled, 321 00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:16,981 she's, like, less special, don't you reckon? 322 00:16:16,983 --> 00:16:17,984 Brigitte. 323 00:16:18,651 --> 00:16:20,484 Right away. 324 00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:26,057 Gregor, you have no idea what this money will do. 325 00:16:26,059 --> 00:16:27,191 Hit it, Marcel! 326 00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:30,997 I'm flying! 327 00:16:32,332 --> 00:16:33,600 Oh, shit! 328 00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:38,235 Hey! 329 00:16:54,788 --> 00:16:56,623 Merci. 330 00:16:57,424 --> 00:16:58,655 Mmm, mmm. 331 00:16:58,657 --> 00:17:01,027 All right. Let's go, boys, one more time! 332 00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,208 You want to press charges? 333 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,442 Da. 334 00:17:18,444 --> 00:17:21,248 Her sister is probably not even virgin. 335 00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:32,355 He gave me the money! 336 00:17:32,357 --> 00:17:34,394 What laws have I actually broken? 337 00:17:39,065 --> 00:17:40,067 Oh. 338 00:17:42,469 --> 00:17:44,536 Contraction. Mmm. 339 00:17:44,538 --> 00:17:47,341 The stress is not good for the baby. 340 00:17:48,073 --> 00:17:49,542 Ooh, my little baby. 341 00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:51,642 Ooh. 342 00:17:51,644 --> 00:17:53,111 We are a tight-knit community 343 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,711 in Beaumont-Sur-Mer, mademoiselle. 344 00:17:54,713 --> 00:17:56,981 We do not want your kind here. 345 00:17:56,983 --> 00:17:57,951 What? 346 00:17:59,086 --> 00:18:00,951 Oh, yeah, yeah, right, yeah. 347 00:18:00,953 --> 00:18:04,855 I've heard about your little community. 348 00:18:04,857 --> 00:18:07,761 And that's... That's actually why I came. 349 00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:13,330 To do some, like, experimenting. 350 00:18:13,332 --> 00:18:14,397 You know... 351 00:18:14,399 --> 00:18:15,468 Ooh! 352 00:18:17,904 --> 00:18:19,106 Ooh. 353 00:18:22,442 --> 00:18:24,111 Oh, no, wrong thing. 354 00:18:25,211 --> 00:18:27,077 Inspector? 355 00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:29,282 Don't you think we can just work something out? 356 00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:33,185 Just between us girls? 357 00:18:37,124 --> 00:18:39,226 I don't date pregnant women. 358 00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:46,631 Oh, wait! Actually, um, I know somebody here! 359 00:18:46,633 --> 00:18:48,700 You know someone in Beaumont-Sur-Mer? 360 00:18:48,702 --> 00:18:50,402 Yeah, yeah. I bet you'd know her, too. 361 00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:53,069 She's, like, really rich, really important. 362 00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,940 She looks like a librarian's corpse, only less lively. 363 00:18:55,942 --> 00:18:58,075 She would have your ass for this. 364 00:18:58,077 --> 00:18:59,477 Oh, I see. 365 00:18:59,479 --> 00:19:00,744 What's her name? 366 00:19:00,746 --> 00:19:01,947 - Oh, her name... - Mmm-hmm? 367 00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:06,386 ...is Joanna... 368 00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:08,118 Regina. 369 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,324 Regina Charleston. 370 00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:14,961 It's Charlotte... 371 00:19:15,494 --> 00:19:18,127 Pemberton. 372 00:19:18,129 --> 00:19:20,333 It's Pamela. Pernilla. 373 00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:23,233 Pendy Simmons. 374 00:19:23,235 --> 00:19:25,169 No, wait, it's... 375 00:19:25,171 --> 00:19:26,770 Janet Maxfield. 376 00:19:26,772 --> 00:19:28,605 Ha! Charlotte Josephson. 377 00:19:28,607 --> 00:19:30,141 Josephine Chesterfield? 378 00:19:30,143 --> 00:19:31,909 Yeah, that is her! 379 00:19:31,911 --> 00:19:33,644 We should... We should call her. 380 00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,779 Get her on the line. 381 00:19:35,781 --> 00:19:38,583 Tell her to set me free, please! 382 00:19:42,989 --> 00:19:47,024 Penny, the charges against you aren't very serious, 383 00:19:47,026 --> 00:19:48,625 but it appears Inspector Desjardins 384 00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:50,864 is keeping you here for your own protection. 385 00:19:51,864 --> 00:19:53,297 From what? 386 00:19:53,299 --> 00:19:54,531 The man you swindled 387 00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,300 is a prominent figure of the Russian mafia. 388 00:19:56,302 --> 00:19:57,367 Shit. 389 00:19:57,369 --> 00:19:58,469 If you were to be released, 390 00:19:58,471 --> 00:19:59,770 you would most certainly be killed, 391 00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:00,904 or worse. 392 00:20:00,906 --> 00:20:02,472 Well, there has to be another option! 393 00:20:02,474 --> 00:20:04,174 One moment. 394 00:20:13,485 --> 00:20:14,487 Oui. 395 00:20:16,822 --> 00:20:19,392 Penny, what do you have on you by way of liquidity? 396 00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:21,558 Uh... 397 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,328 I think I have a travel-size K-Y Jelly in my bag. 398 00:20:25,330 --> 00:20:26,696 It's peach-flavored. 399 00:20:26,698 --> 00:20:29,866 Cash, Penny. How much cash do you have at your disposal? 400 00:20:29,868 --> 00:20:34,404 I have about 10 or 8... Yeah, $8,000. 401 00:20:34,406 --> 00:20:36,907 That might be enough to get you out of the country, but you must promise 402 00:20:36,909 --> 00:20:39,844 never ever, under any circumstances, 403 00:20:39,846 --> 00:20:41,813 to come back to Beaumont-Sur-Mer 404 00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:43,381 ever again. 405 00:20:43,383 --> 00:20:45,316 - Pinky promise. - Hold on, Penny. 406 00:20:45,318 --> 00:20:47,554 The nightmare is almost over. 407 00:20:49,888 --> 00:20:52,423 Hey, listen, 408 00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,858 - I may have been a bit of bitch when we first met. - Oh. 409 00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,894 And when I talked about you behind your back. 410 00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:58,498 - Hmm? - And when I posted this. 411 00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,666 - Huh. - But you did me a solid 412 00:21:02,668 --> 00:21:03,835 getting me out of jail, 413 00:21:03,837 --> 00:21:06,338 so I think you're a pretty top chick. 414 00:21:08,675 --> 00:21:11,241 Try to be as inconspicuous as possible. 415 00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:12,776 I know it's difficult for you, 416 00:21:12,778 --> 00:21:16,183 but it's better to go unnoticed by Gregor's henchmen. 417 00:21:21,854 --> 00:21:23,787 Au revoir. 418 00:21:23,789 --> 00:21:26,393 Well, I don't get what that means. 419 00:21:31,396 --> 00:21:33,800 Yo, I'm just gonna blend in with you guys. 420 00:22:06,665 --> 00:22:08,132 Hey. 421 00:22:08,134 --> 00:22:09,432 Oh! 422 00:22:09,434 --> 00:22:11,402 Dude! What are you... 423 00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:13,837 You can't just sneak up on a lady like that! 424 00:22:16,575 --> 00:22:19,179 Hmm. You're not really my type... 425 00:22:21,848 --> 00:22:23,480 But the pilot's busy, so... 426 00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:31,623 Let's just make this quick. 427 00:22:31,625 --> 00:22:33,356 I feel like they're about to serve the meal. 428 00:22:33,358 --> 00:22:34,759 - Where is it? - What? 429 00:22:34,761 --> 00:22:35,826 Where is it? 430 00:22:35,828 --> 00:22:37,761 Hey... 431 00:22:37,763 --> 00:22:40,464 Nazi Gollum, you're gonna have to speak more clearly. 432 00:22:40,466 --> 00:22:42,133 - Where is it? - What? 433 00:22:42,135 --> 00:22:45,269 I saw you talking with her in the airport. 434 00:22:45,271 --> 00:22:46,603 Josephine? 435 00:22:46,605 --> 00:22:47,704 Is that her real name? 436 00:22:47,706 --> 00:22:49,472 - Are you with her? - Um... 437 00:22:49,474 --> 00:22:52,210 No, I think maybe the police chick is? 438 00:22:52,212 --> 00:22:53,678 They could just be friends. 439 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,346 I don't know. It's hard to tell nowadays. 440 00:22:55,348 --> 00:22:56,980 So, the police woman's part of it? 441 00:22:56,982 --> 00:22:59,019 - Part of what? - The hustle! 442 00:22:59,618 --> 00:23:00,683 Hmm? 443 00:23:00,685 --> 00:23:02,853 She stole my wife's diamond bracelet! 444 00:23:02,855 --> 00:23:04,324 It's worth half a million dollars! 445 00:23:06,559 --> 00:23:07,791 Shit the bed. 446 00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:10,294 And now my wife is filing for divorce. 447 00:23:10,296 --> 00:23:12,130 Are you working with her or not? 448 00:23:12,132 --> 00:23:13,329 No! No, no. 449 00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:16,066 Um... 450 00:23:16,068 --> 00:23:19,537 No, I'm actually working for ASSES. 451 00:23:19,539 --> 00:23:20,604 What? 452 00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:22,807 ASSES? Have you not heard of that? 453 00:23:22,809 --> 00:23:27,810 It's the, um, Australian Securities Services 454 00:23:27,812 --> 00:23:31,516 Intelligently Spying. 455 00:23:31,518 --> 00:23:34,151 - Don't you mean ASIO? - No. 456 00:23:34,153 --> 00:23:35,486 No, they're wankers. 457 00:23:35,488 --> 00:23:36,553 ASSES. 458 00:23:36,555 --> 00:23:37,887 It's the place to be. 459 00:23:37,889 --> 00:23:39,891 And I'm deep, deep, deep in ASSES. 460 00:23:39,893 --> 00:23:41,759 I'm trying to bring her to justice. 461 00:23:41,761 --> 00:23:43,093 - Okay, good. - Yeah. 462 00:23:43,095 --> 00:23:44,729 Good. How can I help? 463 00:23:44,731 --> 00:23:46,329 Well, sir, um... 464 00:23:46,331 --> 00:23:48,900 I believe we should start by having sex 465 00:23:48,902 --> 00:23:50,069 as a cover. 466 00:23:58,211 --> 00:23:59,179 What was that? 467 00:24:00,445 --> 00:24:02,011 I have standards. 468 00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:03,614 As do I. 469 00:24:03,616 --> 00:24:04,781 I need to take a nap. 470 00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:06,285 As do I. 471 00:24:08,453 --> 00:24:10,089 I have many STDs, so... 472 00:24:13,024 --> 00:24:14,293 As do I. 473 00:24:31,310 --> 00:24:32,742 Mesdames et messieurs, 474 00:24:32,744 --> 00:24:34,345 please fasten your seat belts. 475 00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:37,684 We are experiencing some unexpected turbulence. 476 00:25:07,613 --> 00:25:09,516 Phew! 477 00:25:11,983 --> 00:25:13,784 My quads are burning! 478 00:25:13,786 --> 00:25:15,251 Ow! Ow! 479 00:25:15,253 --> 00:25:17,453 Bloody hell! No. Okay. 480 00:25:21,126 --> 00:25:22,593 Oh, yeah. 481 00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:23,730 I'm gonna puke. 482 00:25:24,963 --> 00:25:27,964 I'm gonna hold it. I can hold it. 483 00:25:27,966 --> 00:25:30,601 - Penny. - Hello, Janet. 484 00:25:30,603 --> 00:25:32,001 Or should I say... 485 00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:33,973 Medusa? 486 00:25:35,508 --> 00:25:38,308 - I am not Medusa. - Really? 487 00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:40,547 Take this to the guestroom, butlery person. 488 00:25:46,184 --> 00:25:47,684 Okay, I may need to borrow 489 00:25:47,686 --> 00:25:50,855 a toothbrush, leggings, some thongs. 490 00:25:50,857 --> 00:25:51,955 Oh! Some "going out" thongs. 491 00:25:51,957 --> 00:25:53,624 Do we have a problem? 492 00:25:53,626 --> 00:25:57,494 Ah! Captain Pantsuit, in on it as well? 493 00:25:57,496 --> 00:26:00,630 All wrapped up in this kebab of lies? 494 00:26:00,632 --> 00:26:02,967 Everything is fine, Brigitte. You and Albert may go. 495 00:26:02,969 --> 00:26:05,234 Yeah. Bye, girls. 496 00:26:05,236 --> 00:26:07,704 I'll take my lunch by the pool! 497 00:26:07,706 --> 00:26:10,406 Just letting you know, I'm salad intolerant. 498 00:26:10,408 --> 00:26:12,175 What do you want, Penny? 499 00:26:12,177 --> 00:26:13,676 I want this! 500 00:26:13,678 --> 00:26:15,645 Like, look at this place! 501 00:26:15,647 --> 00:26:18,749 I had no idea how small-time I was until I met you. 502 00:26:18,751 --> 00:26:20,917 Teach me your sugar baby ways. 503 00:26:20,919 --> 00:26:22,019 Shape me 504 00:26:22,021 --> 00:26:23,921 into something great 505 00:26:23,923 --> 00:26:25,157 and richer. 506 00:26:26,091 --> 00:26:27,191 And why would I do that? 507 00:26:27,193 --> 00:26:28,491 Because who knows? 508 00:26:28,493 --> 00:26:30,326 I could be the partner you never knew you needed. 509 00:26:30,328 --> 00:26:32,328 - No, thanks. I work alone. - Hello? 510 00:26:32,330 --> 00:26:35,665 What about Menswear Barbie and Old Crone Ken? 511 00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:36,902 They are employees. 512 00:26:37,603 --> 00:26:39,339 Okay. I get it. 513 00:26:41,906 --> 00:26:45,076 But what you're not getting is that a girl like me 514 00:26:45,078 --> 00:26:46,675 could make it real uncomfortable 515 00:26:46,677 --> 00:26:48,346 for you in this town. 516 00:26:48,348 --> 00:26:49,846 Like a bad case of the herp. 517 00:26:49,848 --> 00:26:52,450 With the right vitamin cocktail, you'll go away. 518 00:26:52,452 --> 00:26:55,451 You do know herpes never goes away, don't you? 519 00:26:55,453 --> 00:26:56,723 Doesn't it? 520 00:26:58,456 --> 00:26:59,458 No. 521 00:27:02,395 --> 00:27:05,429 Seems like you've set up such deep roots here. 522 00:27:05,431 --> 00:27:08,434 It'd be such a shame for it to all be seized by Interpol. 523 00:27:09,301 --> 00:27:10,770 It'd just take one phone call. 524 00:27:18,778 --> 00:27:19,910 Hello, Interpol? 525 00:27:19,912 --> 00:27:20,980 Tell me, Penny... 526 00:27:23,215 --> 00:27:25,952 Why are women better suited to the con than men? 527 00:27:27,386 --> 00:27:30,054 'Cause we're used to faking it? 528 00:27:30,056 --> 00:27:33,490 It comes down to one universal truth. 529 00:27:33,492 --> 00:27:36,628 No man will ever believe a woman is smarter than he is. 530 00:27:38,164 --> 00:27:40,263 We will always be underestimated 531 00:27:40,265 --> 00:27:42,100 and that is what we use. 532 00:27:43,403 --> 00:27:45,234 So this means you're gonna teach me, aren't you? 533 00:27:45,236 --> 00:27:46,502 I'm teaching you now. 534 00:27:46,504 --> 00:27:47,570 Yes! 535 00:27:47,572 --> 00:27:49,439 Wait, what was that last part? 536 00:27:49,441 --> 00:27:51,678 I couldn't hear. You were talking into the ocean. 537 00:27:53,578 --> 00:27:55,179 What do men want? 538 00:27:55,181 --> 00:27:57,146 - Boobs. - No. 539 00:27:57,148 --> 00:27:58,150 Back door. 540 00:27:59,618 --> 00:28:00,683 Front door. 541 00:28:00,685 --> 00:28:02,118 Pegging or, like, a threesome. 542 00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,487 What is it? What's the answer? 543 00:28:03,489 --> 00:28:05,823 They want to be heroes. 544 00:28:05,825 --> 00:28:07,524 There is nothing more compelling to a man 545 00:28:07,526 --> 00:28:09,026 than a vulnerable woman. 546 00:28:09,028 --> 00:28:10,997 Observe. 547 00:28:16,802 --> 00:28:19,702 Oh, wow. You can just tear up like that. 548 00:28:19,704 --> 00:28:22,506 You can just balance a tear right on that lower lid. 549 00:28:22,508 --> 00:28:25,278 And can you make the tear roll down your cheek? 550 00:28:26,544 --> 00:28:28,913 Oh. Oh. Okay. 551 00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:30,983 But can you make it go back up? 552 00:28:32,618 --> 00:28:34,587 - Now, you try. - Okay. 553 00:28:44,396 --> 00:28:45,695 - Are you constipated? - No. 554 00:28:45,697 --> 00:28:48,198 Why all the theatrics? You're hot. That's enough. 555 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,365 It is not enough. 556 00:28:49,367 --> 00:28:51,067 "Hot" is not a career. 557 00:28:51,069 --> 00:28:53,069 "Hot" will get you gifts and trinkets, 558 00:28:53,071 --> 00:28:54,706 but you must pay for them in other ways. 559 00:28:56,008 --> 00:28:57,673 Sex, Penny. 560 00:28:57,675 --> 00:28:59,910 Lesson two, research. 561 00:28:59,912 --> 00:29:01,878 "The Suburban White Knight." 562 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:03,913 This one calls for a basic rescue scam. 563 00:29:03,915 --> 00:29:05,016 A staged drowning 564 00:29:05,018 --> 00:29:06,983 and resuscitation usually fits the bill. 565 00:29:06,985 --> 00:29:10,653 Next we have "The Braggadocio on Holiday." 566 00:29:10,655 --> 00:29:12,155 Just wants a story to tell the boys. 567 00:29:12,157 --> 00:29:13,356 But careful here. 568 00:29:13,358 --> 00:29:15,159 He's a frequent abuser of social media. 569 00:29:16,529 --> 00:29:17,595 What the... 570 00:29:17,597 --> 00:29:19,195 Why the... 571 00:29:20,331 --> 00:29:22,265 ...headache! 572 00:29:22,267 --> 00:29:25,101 Finally, you must be trained for any situation. 573 00:30:44,817 --> 00:30:46,517 One, two... 574 00:30:46,519 --> 00:30:47,620 Surprise! 575 00:30:49,954 --> 00:30:52,189 Hello. How do you do? 576 00:30:52,191 --> 00:30:54,657 Yes, isn't it a lovely party? 577 00:30:54,659 --> 00:30:56,026 I know. 578 00:30:56,028 --> 00:30:57,864 I have seven houses. 579 00:31:08,174 --> 00:31:09,306 She's ready. 580 00:31:09,308 --> 00:31:10,640 I'm ready? 581 00:31:10,642 --> 00:31:11,644 Yes! 582 00:31:12,278 --> 00:31:13,112 Whoo! 583 00:31:20,786 --> 00:31:22,720 Ugh. Mon Dieu! 584 00:31:22,722 --> 00:31:24,288 I don't like it. 585 00:31:24,290 --> 00:31:26,358 She represents everything you despise. 586 00:31:28,027 --> 00:31:30,894 You know, the water level at the quarry 587 00:31:30,896 --> 00:31:33,063 is higher than normal this time of year. 588 00:31:33,065 --> 00:31:34,364 They would not find her body 589 00:31:34,366 --> 00:31:35,531 - until the spring. - Hmm. 590 00:31:35,533 --> 00:31:37,134 Just say the word, 591 00:31:37,136 --> 00:31:40,037 or don't and you maintain your innocence, 592 00:31:40,039 --> 00:31:42,539 and I will do it anyway. 593 00:31:42,541 --> 00:31:43,707 Nonsense. 594 00:31:43,709 --> 00:31:45,308 We're taking her in gracefully 595 00:31:45,310 --> 00:31:47,577 in order to get her out gracefully. 596 00:31:47,579 --> 00:31:48,979 Was that the word? 597 00:31:48,981 --> 00:31:50,413 "Gracefully"? 598 00:31:50,415 --> 00:31:52,482 Trust me, Brigitte. It'll all work out in our favor. 599 00:31:52,484 --> 00:31:57,121 With Penny, we can finally run the "Lord of the Rings" play. 600 00:31:57,123 --> 00:32:00,089 You truly believe she is ready for something so elaborate? 601 00:32:00,091 --> 00:32:02,027 Who's the first mark? 602 00:32:03,662 --> 00:32:05,061 Oh, Howard. 603 00:32:05,063 --> 00:32:06,896 I can't marry you. 604 00:32:09,335 --> 00:32:10,933 Oh... 605 00:32:10,935 --> 00:32:14,403 Now, settle down, cupcake. 606 00:32:14,405 --> 00:32:16,339 What problem's so big you don't think 607 00:32:16,341 --> 00:32:19,542 Howard Bacon can fix it, huh? 608 00:32:19,544 --> 00:32:23,113 How could you marry a woman so beneath you? 609 00:32:23,115 --> 00:32:25,149 What are you saying, snickerdoodle? 610 00:32:25,151 --> 00:32:28,218 You are 63rd in line to the British throne. 611 00:32:28,220 --> 00:32:31,588 I know, but I'm bankrupt. 612 00:32:31,590 --> 00:32:34,090 The title's all I have left. 613 00:32:34,092 --> 00:32:38,127 Oh, Howard, do you think me a... 614 00:32:38,129 --> 00:32:40,262 gold digger? 615 00:32:42,434 --> 00:32:45,067 Oh, peanut butter cup. 616 00:32:45,069 --> 00:32:46,202 Now, listen here. 617 00:32:46,204 --> 00:32:47,471 We're gonna get married, 618 00:32:47,473 --> 00:32:49,105 we're gonna fly home to Fort Worth. 619 00:32:49,107 --> 00:32:50,906 I'mma introduce you to my golfing buddies 620 00:32:50,908 --> 00:32:52,809 and then when I run for Senate, 621 00:32:52,811 --> 00:32:54,978 you're gonna be by my side. 622 00:32:54,980 --> 00:32:57,413 Beautiful and silent. 623 00:32:57,415 --> 00:33:00,386 You're not gonna break my heart now, are you, sugarbooger? 624 00:33:01,052 --> 00:33:02,752 Oh, Howard. 625 00:33:02,754 --> 00:33:06,656 I'm helpless against your food-themed endearments. 626 00:33:06,658 --> 00:33:08,458 The only thing you're gonna have to worry about 627 00:33:08,460 --> 00:33:10,894 how that Texas humidity's gonna affect your hair. 628 00:33:10,896 --> 00:33:13,564 My hair looks like this in any climate, darling, 629 00:33:13,566 --> 00:33:15,768 and Hortense loves wet heat. 630 00:33:16,434 --> 00:33:17,567 Hortense? 631 00:33:17,569 --> 00:33:20,470 My sister. Didn't I tell you about her? 632 00:33:20,472 --> 00:33:22,875 I couldn't possibly leave her behind. 633 00:33:24,643 --> 00:33:26,175 Are you telling me I'm gonna go home 634 00:33:26,177 --> 00:33:28,311 with two princesses on my arm? 635 00:33:28,313 --> 00:33:29,779 Would you like to see her? 636 00:33:29,781 --> 00:33:31,815 Oh, lead the way. 637 00:33:31,817 --> 00:33:33,584 If you think me regal in the least, 638 00:33:33,586 --> 00:33:36,019 wait until you meet my sweet sister. Oof! 639 00:33:36,021 --> 00:33:40,590 I haven't an ounce of the majesty Hortense possesses. 640 00:33:40,592 --> 00:33:42,692 There are no private beaches on the Cote d'Azur, 641 00:33:42,694 --> 00:33:46,762 but you put up one sign that says "toxic waste," et voila! 642 00:33:46,764 --> 00:33:48,298 Granny was so clever. 643 00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:50,599 - Mmm. - Your sister lives in there? 644 00:33:50,601 --> 00:33:54,237 Mmm-hmm, yes, in her cozy castle keep. 645 00:33:56,474 --> 00:33:58,174 Ah. 646 00:33:58,176 --> 00:33:59,710 This way. 647 00:33:59,712 --> 00:34:01,377 Your tetanus is up to date, yes? 648 00:34:01,379 --> 00:34:03,046 What? 649 00:34:03,048 --> 00:34:05,682 Every royal family has its black sheep, of course, 650 00:34:05,684 --> 00:34:07,651 but not Hortense and me. 651 00:34:07,653 --> 00:34:11,020 Nanny Gertrude raised us to be two levelheaded young ladies. 652 00:34:11,022 --> 00:34:13,656 We're so normal, it's practically boring. 653 00:34:13,658 --> 00:34:15,357 Now remember, at no point 654 00:34:15,359 --> 00:34:16,993 should you turn your back on her. 655 00:34:16,995 --> 00:34:18,664 Because she's royalty? 656 00:34:19,664 --> 00:34:21,165 If you like. 657 00:34:21,167 --> 00:34:22,399 Ah, here we are. 658 00:34:22,401 --> 00:34:24,567 Hortense, I've brought a guest! 659 00:34:24,569 --> 00:34:26,069 - I wonder where she's hiding. - Hmm. 660 00:34:26,071 --> 00:34:28,638 Don't be shy. 661 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:29,908 Oh. I know. 662 00:34:31,977 --> 00:34:34,845 Maybe her subjects can flush her out. 663 00:34:44,856 --> 00:34:46,555 Ah! There she is! 664 00:34:46,557 --> 00:34:49,026 My only living relative. 665 00:34:49,028 --> 00:34:51,430 Shall we pay her a visit? 666 00:34:56,602 --> 00:35:01,203 Princess Hortense of House Northumberton-Saxe-Hapsburg, 667 00:35:01,205 --> 00:35:04,776 may I present to you Howard Bacon. 668 00:35:08,414 --> 00:35:09,546 Uh... 669 00:35:09,548 --> 00:35:11,781 My ma'am... Lady. 670 00:35:11,783 --> 00:35:15,919 Sir Bacon, welcome to thy kingdom. 671 00:35:15,921 --> 00:35:17,953 I have food for your men 672 00:35:17,955 --> 00:35:20,723 and water for your horses and whores. 673 00:35:20,725 --> 00:35:22,258 Hortense. 674 00:35:22,260 --> 00:35:25,028 She knows you haven't got any horses. 675 00:35:25,030 --> 00:35:26,966 Lucretia, pour the mead. 676 00:35:31,636 --> 00:35:33,069 Lucretia, you dumb bitch, 677 00:35:33,071 --> 00:35:34,470 don't embarrass me in front of the guests. 678 00:35:34,472 --> 00:35:36,740 Yes, there is much to celebrate, beloved sister. 679 00:35:36,742 --> 00:35:38,908 I bring wonderful news. 680 00:35:38,910 --> 00:35:41,213 Howard and I are to be married. 681 00:35:42,113 --> 00:35:43,115 Really? 682 00:35:45,618 --> 00:35:47,984 You and you? 683 00:35:47,986 --> 00:35:49,055 Hortense... 684 00:35:51,488 --> 00:35:54,126 Hortense, do not drop that coronet. 685 00:35:56,060 --> 00:35:58,396 Use your words, not the heirlooms. 686 00:35:59,464 --> 00:36:00,564 Whoops! 687 00:36:05,937 --> 00:36:07,069 Why? 688 00:36:07,071 --> 00:36:09,339 I think I know what this is about. 689 00:36:09,341 --> 00:36:10,973 Die! No! 690 00:36:10,975 --> 00:36:13,676 Don't fret, sissy. You shan't be left behind. 691 00:36:13,678 --> 00:36:16,580 You, Howard, and I 692 00:36:16,582 --> 00:36:20,149 are going to live together in Texas. 693 00:36:20,151 --> 00:36:22,819 Texas? Hurrah! 694 00:36:22,821 --> 00:36:25,622 This calls for a celebration pole dance. 695 00:36:30,828 --> 00:36:34,129 Promise, if anything should happen to me, 696 00:36:34,131 --> 00:36:36,200 you'll look after her. 697 00:36:36,202 --> 00:36:38,334 Ooh. I invoke prima nocta. 698 00:36:38,336 --> 00:36:39,669 Absolutely. 699 00:36:39,671 --> 00:36:42,171 This shall be a traditional wedding in every respect. 700 00:36:42,173 --> 00:36:43,272 Prima nocta. 701 00:36:43,274 --> 00:36:45,841 Prima nocta! Prima nocta! 702 00:36:45,843 --> 00:36:49,345 Uh, what's prima nocta? 703 00:36:49,347 --> 00:36:52,982 Oh. Once the eldest daughter consummates her marriage, 704 00:36:52,984 --> 00:36:55,218 it is the second daughter's divine right 705 00:36:55,220 --> 00:36:57,988 either to bed the groom or fight him in a duel. 706 00:36:57,990 --> 00:36:59,490 In either case, your performance 707 00:36:59,492 --> 00:37:01,225 shall be judged by a panel of courtiers. 708 00:37:01,227 --> 00:37:03,158 But you don't mind, do you, darling? 709 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,830 ♪ Second sister Gets sloppy seconds ♪ 710 00:37:07,832 --> 00:37:11,167 ♪ Or you die ♪ 711 00:37:14,004 --> 00:37:16,171 Muffin, wedding's off. 712 00:37:16,173 --> 00:37:18,073 But Howard! The ring! 713 00:37:18,075 --> 00:37:19,077 Keep it! 714 00:37:31,823 --> 00:37:33,955 Enrique, do go on. You were saying how 715 00:37:33,957 --> 00:37:36,526 even though you yourself have benefited economically 716 00:37:36,528 --> 00:37:37,894 from immigrating to America, 717 00:37:37,896 --> 00:37:40,363 you don't feel any additional Guatemalans 718 00:37:40,365 --> 00:37:41,899 should be allowed into Palm Beach? 719 00:37:41,901 --> 00:37:42,999 Yes, I believe... 720 00:37:43,001 --> 00:37:45,435 Sister! Sister! Sister! 721 00:37:45,437 --> 00:37:47,504 Hortense! Manners, please! 722 00:37:47,506 --> 00:37:49,605 Is this how we behave in front of a guest? 723 00:37:49,607 --> 00:37:50,843 Sorry. 724 00:37:51,575 --> 00:37:52,841 Pardon the intrusion, 725 00:37:52,843 --> 00:37:54,810 but can I beg leave to go to the toilet? 726 00:37:54,812 --> 00:37:56,111 Yes, of course, my turtle dove. 727 00:37:56,113 --> 00:37:57,881 Thank you. 728 00:37:57,883 --> 00:38:01,419 Kind sir, would you help me with this? 729 00:38:03,522 --> 00:38:05,220 The lock-eth has rust-eth. 730 00:38:05,222 --> 00:38:06,388 Hortense! 731 00:38:06,390 --> 00:38:08,258 Did I not expressly forbid you 732 00:38:08,260 --> 00:38:10,560 from wearing your virtue panties in the pool? 733 00:38:10,562 --> 00:38:12,731 Albert! She's done it again. 734 00:38:13,932 --> 00:38:15,533 Ahhh! Not the flame! 735 00:38:27,278 --> 00:38:29,479 Release the peasants! 736 00:38:29,481 --> 00:38:31,381 She must mean "pheasants," yes? 737 00:38:31,383 --> 00:38:32,948 Hmm? Of course not. 738 00:38:32,950 --> 00:38:35,886 Oh, don't worry, darling. She's a terrible shot. 739 00:38:37,122 --> 00:38:38,424 Peasant ho! 740 00:38:40,792 --> 00:38:41,794 See? 741 00:38:50,135 --> 00:38:52,171 That was unexpected. 742 00:38:59,343 --> 00:39:01,645 Brigitte, your 20,000. 743 00:39:01,647 --> 00:39:03,580 You just got a lot more attractive, Bridge. 744 00:39:03,582 --> 00:39:05,115 Albert, your 10. 745 00:39:05,117 --> 00:39:06,649 Still wouldn't bang you, Albert. 746 00:39:07,919 --> 00:39:09,154 Thank you, all. 747 00:39:11,656 --> 00:39:13,189 What do you mean, "Thank you, all"? 748 00:39:13,191 --> 00:39:14,524 No, where's my cashola? 749 00:39:14,526 --> 00:39:15,691 Hmm? Where's my cut? 750 00:39:15,693 --> 00:39:18,028 Where's the big chunka... 751 00:39:18,030 --> 00:39:19,828 ...to come in to me, of the cash? 752 00:39:19,830 --> 00:39:22,432 The student doesn't earn wages 753 00:39:22,434 --> 00:39:24,167 until after graduation. 754 00:39:24,169 --> 00:39:26,472 When the hell is that? 755 00:39:27,539 --> 00:39:28,839 I've been killing myself 756 00:39:28,841 --> 00:39:30,439 playing Hortense the Feral Princess, 757 00:39:30,441 --> 00:39:33,276 while you just prance around, not having sex with people. 758 00:39:33,278 --> 00:39:35,111 Penny, how much money do you have? 759 00:39:35,113 --> 00:39:36,115 Be honest, now. 760 00:39:37,716 --> 00:39:39,314 $500,000. 761 00:39:39,316 --> 00:39:40,982 Oh. Good for you. 762 00:39:40,984 --> 00:39:42,817 It's an adorable little nest egg. 763 00:39:42,819 --> 00:39:44,287 All in cash I presume? 764 00:39:44,289 --> 00:39:47,124 Bitcoin. Why? How much money do you have? 765 00:39:47,126 --> 00:39:52,064 Hmm? Oh, assets and liquidity, um, 28.32 million. 766 00:39:53,332 --> 00:39:54,863 Ah, okay, I didn't know 767 00:39:54,865 --> 00:39:56,633 we were counting assets and liquidity. 768 00:39:56,635 --> 00:39:57,834 In that case, I have, uh... 769 00:39:57,836 --> 00:39:59,701 still 500,000. 770 00:39:59,703 --> 00:40:02,071 And how do you think I grew that wealth? 771 00:40:02,073 --> 00:40:04,408 By investing wisely. 772 00:40:04,410 --> 00:40:06,308 I've invested in you, Penny. 773 00:40:06,310 --> 00:40:07,843 And I must see a robust return 774 00:40:07,845 --> 00:40:09,379 before I can share the profits. 775 00:40:09,381 --> 00:40:10,879 But you wouldn't have any profits 776 00:40:10,881 --> 00:40:12,783 if it wasn't for me, okay? 777 00:40:12,785 --> 00:40:14,551 Let's face it, we're a team on this. 778 00:40:14,553 --> 00:40:17,220 Penny, if you want to be like me, then you're going to have... 779 00:40:17,222 --> 00:40:18,821 I don't wanna be like you! 780 00:40:18,823 --> 00:40:20,557 Why would I wanna be like you? 781 00:40:20,559 --> 00:40:22,924 I don't wanna be some loser 782 00:40:22,926 --> 00:40:25,261 that looks like a colorful Beetlejuice. 783 00:40:25,263 --> 00:40:27,363 Oh, sorry, Julie Andrews just called. 784 00:40:27,365 --> 00:40:29,265 She said she wants her voice back. 785 00:40:29,267 --> 00:40:31,566 We all know you're actually from Wisconsin 786 00:40:31,568 --> 00:40:34,337 and you stay in this house eating weird salads 787 00:40:34,339 --> 00:40:36,006 and drinking alcohol 788 00:40:36,008 --> 00:40:38,075 that doesn't get you hammered fast enough. 789 00:40:38,077 --> 00:40:39,442 And you're like, 790 00:40:39,444 --> 00:40:42,578 "Oh! I better check all my precious stocks 791 00:40:42,580 --> 00:40:44,846 on the NASCAR index." 792 00:40:44,848 --> 00:40:46,216 And, "Oh, wait, 793 00:40:46,218 --> 00:40:49,618 let me just collect another little boy's head, 794 00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:53,589 or another dinosaur clitoris, 795 00:40:53,591 --> 00:40:55,625 or another little statue of a..." 796 00:40:55,627 --> 00:40:57,125 That's alive. 797 00:40:57,127 --> 00:41:00,462 Yes, that is a Madagascan blue panther chameleon. 798 00:41:00,464 --> 00:41:02,299 It's one of the last of its kind. 799 00:41:02,301 --> 00:41:04,533 Is it? 800 00:41:04,535 --> 00:41:05,734 Just like you. 801 00:41:05,736 --> 00:41:07,336 Well, you know what, Jo? 802 00:41:07,338 --> 00:41:09,471 I don't give a crap if you're a legend in the game. 803 00:41:09,473 --> 00:41:11,875 If you're not gonna pay me for work that I've actually done, 804 00:41:11,877 --> 00:41:12,975 then I'm out! 805 00:41:12,977 --> 00:41:14,611 Screw you, Medusa! 806 00:41:14,613 --> 00:41:16,379 I'm not Medusa. 807 00:41:20,151 --> 00:41:22,421 And she's gone. 808 00:41:52,584 --> 00:41:54,850 Are you... Are you all right, miss? 809 00:41:54,852 --> 00:41:57,587 Oh, is there a doctor in the house? 810 00:41:57,589 --> 00:41:59,654 Oh, somebody, please, help me! 811 00:41:59,656 --> 00:42:00,823 What are the signs of a stroke? 812 00:42:00,825 --> 00:42:02,825 I can't feel my tits! 813 00:42:04,930 --> 00:42:06,962 Goodness me! 814 00:42:06,964 --> 00:42:08,464 Are you all right, miss? 815 00:42:08,466 --> 00:42:09,866 Are you okay? 816 00:42:09,868 --> 00:42:12,104 She's all right. Aren't you, sis? 817 00:42:16,008 --> 00:42:19,174 Yeah, I'm feeling so much better, actually. 818 00:42:19,176 --> 00:42:22,145 Good on you. That's my chook. Come on. 819 00:42:22,147 --> 00:42:23,846 Come on. Let's get you up. 820 00:42:23,848 --> 00:42:25,147 - Yeah. - No worries. 821 00:42:25,149 --> 00:42:26,381 I think it was just a big burp. 822 00:42:26,383 --> 00:42:28,052 - You enjoy the sun. - My pleasure. 823 00:42:28,687 --> 00:42:29,886 What's up, Jo? 824 00:42:29,888 --> 00:42:30,953 I thought you were leaving, Pen. 825 00:42:30,955 --> 00:42:33,290 I was, and then... 826 00:42:33,292 --> 00:42:37,227 I just realized this place is great. 827 00:42:37,229 --> 00:42:40,296 There just isn't room for both of us 828 00:42:40,298 --> 00:42:41,997 in Beaumont-Sur-Mer. 829 00:42:41,999 --> 00:42:44,165 Mmm. Agree to unagree. 830 00:42:44,167 --> 00:42:47,370 This is my home 831 00:42:47,372 --> 00:42:49,673 and my place of work 832 00:42:49,675 --> 00:42:52,008 and you are a bull in my china shop. 833 00:42:52,010 --> 00:42:55,712 Well, you don't really affect my life that much. 834 00:42:55,714 --> 00:42:57,846 Oh, piss off, you moonfaced troll! 835 00:42:57,848 --> 00:42:58,982 Whoa! 836 00:42:58,984 --> 00:43:00,582 Careful there. 837 00:43:00,584 --> 00:43:03,151 People might think you're more than just an animatronic cocktease. 838 00:43:03,153 --> 00:43:04,155 Okay, come on. 839 00:43:07,357 --> 00:43:09,392 Ow! Arm! 840 00:43:09,394 --> 00:43:10,959 Hands off the merchandise. 841 00:43:10,961 --> 00:43:12,462 I bruise like a peach. 842 00:43:12,464 --> 00:43:14,930 Shall we settle this with a friendly wager? 843 00:43:14,932 --> 00:43:16,165 Like a turf war? 844 00:43:16,167 --> 00:43:18,066 Whoever wins gets dibs on the town? 845 00:43:18,068 --> 00:43:21,035 Loser leaves for good. 846 00:43:21,037 --> 00:43:22,305 Well, what's the bet? 847 00:43:22,307 --> 00:43:23,506 We choose a man. 848 00:43:23,508 --> 00:43:26,341 First to extract a set sum from him wins. 849 00:43:26,343 --> 00:43:29,044 That sounds like a party. Yeah, how much? 850 00:43:29,046 --> 00:43:31,781 How about your net worth? 500,000? 851 00:43:31,783 --> 00:43:32,948 Oh, I'm sorry. 852 00:43:32,950 --> 00:43:35,116 Is that too rich for your blood? 853 00:43:35,118 --> 00:43:36,319 Are you kidding? 854 00:43:36,321 --> 00:43:40,388 My blood is, like, 98% white chocolate mousse. 855 00:43:40,390 --> 00:43:43,292 So, I can... I can handle it, yeah. 856 00:43:43,294 --> 00:43:44,394 Who's the mark? 857 00:43:46,798 --> 00:43:48,730 Monsieur! 858 00:43:48,732 --> 00:43:51,035 How about that guy? 859 00:43:51,702 --> 00:43:53,035 He's 12. 860 00:43:53,037 --> 00:43:55,071 Ah, too young for your blood? 861 00:43:55,073 --> 00:43:56,605 Guillaume? 862 00:43:56,607 --> 00:43:59,709 Is that boy a guest at the hotel? 863 00:43:59,711 --> 00:44:01,310 Yes, that is Thomas Westerberg. 864 00:44:01,312 --> 00:44:04,046 He is the inventor of YaBurnt. 865 00:44:04,048 --> 00:44:05,814 - Shut my back door. - What? Why? 866 00:44:05,816 --> 00:44:08,285 What is YaBurnt? 867 00:44:08,287 --> 00:44:09,651 Honestly? 868 00:44:09,653 --> 00:44:11,354 Jo, are you, like, 100 years old? 869 00:44:11,356 --> 00:44:14,290 It's, like, this really cool app where it sends all your friends 870 00:44:14,292 --> 00:44:15,424 these disgusting insults 871 00:44:15,426 --> 00:44:16,892 and then they disappear after 10 seconds. 872 00:44:16,894 --> 00:44:18,160 Why would anyone want that? 873 00:44:18,162 --> 00:44:20,397 Why would anyone want Christmas, either? 874 00:44:20,399 --> 00:44:23,566 So, he's a tech millionaire? 875 00:44:23,568 --> 00:44:25,433 Billionaire, I bet. 876 00:44:25,435 --> 00:44:26,504 So, do we have a deal? 877 00:44:27,104 --> 00:44:28,236 One week. 878 00:44:28,238 --> 00:44:29,974 May the best con win. 879 00:44:53,164 --> 00:44:56,468 Hey, uh, do you mind if I spin the thingy next round? 880 00:44:58,669 --> 00:45:01,770 Okay. That's your job. 881 00:45:01,772 --> 00:45:02,975 Shut up, Thomas. 882 00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,513 - Monsieur. - Yes? 883 00:45:11,515 --> 00:45:12,850 Please place your bets. 884 00:45:26,964 --> 00:45:28,200 No more bets. 885 00:45:32,236 --> 00:45:34,339 Eighteen red. 886 00:45:38,676 --> 00:45:39,908 Sorry, comin' through. 887 00:45:39,910 --> 00:45:41,377 Sorry, excuse me. 888 00:45:41,379 --> 00:45:43,145 - My goodness! - Sorry, miss, please. 889 00:45:43,147 --> 00:45:46,816 Oi, blind person here. Move! Move! 890 00:45:46,818 --> 00:45:48,450 Yeah. 891 00:45:48,452 --> 00:45:49,487 Yeah. 892 00:45:50,388 --> 00:45:52,154 Oh. Pardon the intrusion, 893 00:45:52,156 --> 00:45:53,555 but could somebody tell me 894 00:45:53,557 --> 00:45:55,191 if there's an empty chair at this table? 895 00:45:55,193 --> 00:45:57,225 No, mademoiselle. The table is full. 896 00:45:57,227 --> 00:45:58,895 Oh. Okey-dokey. 897 00:45:58,897 --> 00:46:01,897 No, miss. Miss? Excuse me. You can have my chair. 898 00:46:01,899 --> 00:46:03,265 Oh, a hero. 899 00:46:03,267 --> 00:46:05,000 Oh, but it's not necessary. 900 00:46:05,002 --> 00:46:07,270 Perhaps if, um, this person scoots over, 901 00:46:07,272 --> 00:46:09,238 we could just squeeze in another chair. 902 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:11,506 - Yeah, sure. - Do you mind, sir? 903 00:46:11,508 --> 00:46:13,575 Would you mind just, um... 904 00:46:13,577 --> 00:46:15,076 Right behind you. 905 00:46:15,078 --> 00:46:17,178 - Oh. - There you go. 906 00:46:17,180 --> 00:46:18,714 - Thank you. - All right? 907 00:46:18,716 --> 00:46:20,883 Wow. What wonderful blind person etiquette. 908 00:46:20,885 --> 00:46:22,352 My nana was blind. 909 00:46:22,354 --> 00:46:23,919 Was she? 910 00:46:23,921 --> 00:46:25,222 I had no idea. 911 00:46:26,189 --> 00:46:27,288 Research. 912 00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:28,957 Please place your bets. 913 00:46:28,959 --> 00:46:31,528 Oh. Do you want me to place a bet for you? 914 00:46:31,530 --> 00:46:32,595 Yeah, could you? 915 00:46:32,597 --> 00:46:34,964 - Yeah, of course. - But can you choose? 916 00:46:34,966 --> 00:46:37,098 I feel like I need somebody else's luck right now. 917 00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:38,767 - Sure. - Okay. 918 00:46:38,769 --> 00:46:40,571 All right, keep your fingers crossed. 919 00:46:43,106 --> 00:46:44,108 No more bets. 920 00:46:45,943 --> 00:46:47,109 Twenty-one red. 921 00:46:47,111 --> 00:46:48,209 How did we do? 922 00:46:48,211 --> 00:46:50,279 We lost. I'm so sorry. 923 00:46:50,281 --> 00:46:52,448 - What? - Yeah, it happens. 924 00:46:52,450 --> 00:46:53,952 That was my last chance. 925 00:46:54,651 --> 00:46:56,618 Last chance? For... 926 00:46:56,620 --> 00:46:58,122 Wait! Miss! 927 00:46:58,722 --> 00:47:00,156 Miss, wait. Miss? 928 00:47:00,158 --> 00:47:01,591 Monsieur, your chips. 929 00:47:01,593 --> 00:47:03,392 Oh, yeah, thank you. 930 00:47:07,265 --> 00:47:08,967 Thank you, thank you. Sorry. 931 00:47:10,468 --> 00:47:12,066 Thank you. Miss! 932 00:47:14,805 --> 00:47:16,441 Miss! Miss? 933 00:47:17,274 --> 00:47:18,343 Your winnings. 934 00:47:22,814 --> 00:47:25,747 Miss! Miss? Miss? Excuse me? Hi. 935 00:47:25,749 --> 00:47:27,082 You left your cane. 936 00:47:27,084 --> 00:47:29,017 Oh, thanks for bringing it back. 937 00:47:29,019 --> 00:47:31,319 I'm so embarrassed. Did I, like, cause a big scene? 938 00:47:31,321 --> 00:47:33,990 No, no. It's okay. But you said something in there. 939 00:47:33,992 --> 00:47:36,359 You said that that was your last chance. 940 00:47:36,361 --> 00:47:38,928 - What for? - To help my sister. 941 00:47:38,930 --> 00:47:41,198 - Oh. - She's my baby sister. 942 00:47:42,633 --> 00:47:44,234 - Oh. - You're looking at a picture 943 00:47:44,236 --> 00:47:45,667 of a really hot girl, right? 944 00:47:45,669 --> 00:47:48,970 Uh... Yes. Yeah, I am. 945 00:47:48,972 --> 00:47:50,808 Are my eyes tearing up? 946 00:47:52,176 --> 00:47:53,944 'Cause sometimes I can't tell. 947 00:47:59,984 --> 00:48:01,950 At least you won big, huh? 948 00:48:01,952 --> 00:48:03,451 Not yet. 949 00:48:03,453 --> 00:48:07,055 Go and see what big-titted Russell Crowe is up to. 950 00:48:07,057 --> 00:48:08,323 Here. Here you go, Penny. 951 00:48:08,325 --> 00:48:10,160 No, no, no, Thomas. I cannot take that. 952 00:48:10,162 --> 00:48:12,727 - Yes, you can, Penny. - No, I can't. 953 00:48:12,729 --> 00:48:14,062 Penny, you have to. 954 00:48:14,064 --> 00:48:17,198 Your sister needs that final cleft palate surgery. 955 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,502 Yeah, she does. 956 00:48:19,504 --> 00:48:21,337 - Penny... - Hmm? 957 00:48:21,339 --> 00:48:22,370 What about you? 958 00:48:22,372 --> 00:48:24,073 What do you mean, what about me? 959 00:48:24,075 --> 00:48:27,075 Well, do you mind if I ask you how you... 960 00:48:27,077 --> 00:48:28,477 got blind? 961 00:48:28,479 --> 00:48:29,481 Yeah. 962 00:48:31,383 --> 00:48:34,216 My condition is 100% mental. 963 00:48:34,218 --> 00:48:36,017 Hysterical blindness? 964 00:48:36,019 --> 00:48:37,553 It's not that funny to me, Thomas. 965 00:48:37,555 --> 00:48:39,589 No, I know. What I mean is, 966 00:48:39,591 --> 00:48:42,158 it means there's hope for you to see again. 967 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:43,292 Right? 968 00:48:43,294 --> 00:48:45,928 People say that, but I've tried everything. 969 00:48:45,930 --> 00:48:48,196 Hypnosis, drugs... 970 00:48:48,198 --> 00:48:50,399 I even hired this guy Barry to follow me around 971 00:48:50,401 --> 00:48:52,935 and scare me in parking structures. 972 00:48:52,937 --> 00:48:54,602 He'd just be like, "Hey!" 973 00:48:55,872 --> 00:48:58,875 Turns out this is not like having the hiccups. 974 00:48:58,877 --> 00:49:00,575 Well, there must be something. 975 00:49:00,577 --> 00:49:04,513 Well, there is, like, this one psychologist, 976 00:49:04,515 --> 00:49:06,082 up in this clinic in Germany, 977 00:49:06,084 --> 00:49:08,950 that does, like, really cutting-edge stuff. 978 00:49:08,952 --> 00:49:11,053 But it's so expensive. 979 00:49:11,055 --> 00:49:12,890 Well, how much does this doctor charge? 980 00:49:13,758 --> 00:49:15,258 $500,000. 981 00:49:15,260 --> 00:49:17,258 - Damn! - I know! 982 00:49:17,260 --> 00:49:19,964 But Dr. Schauffhaussen is that gifted. 983 00:49:21,265 --> 00:49:23,232 Forget about it. 984 00:49:23,234 --> 00:49:24,933 What is sight worth, anyways? 985 00:49:24,935 --> 00:49:27,071 $500,000? 986 00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:28,740 Seems so. 987 00:49:34,812 --> 00:49:36,815 She's using all your tricks! 988 00:49:37,982 --> 00:49:39,482 Fine. 989 00:49:39,484 --> 00:49:40,952 Let's use some of hers. 990 00:49:43,620 --> 00:49:46,089 But enough about me. Let's talk about you. 991 00:49:46,091 --> 00:49:47,390 What's your story? 992 00:49:47,392 --> 00:49:49,424 No, well, no story, really. 993 00:49:49,426 --> 00:49:52,895 These French investor guys, uh, flew me out here, 994 00:49:52,897 --> 00:49:54,796 I guess to hear about my new venture. 995 00:49:54,798 --> 00:49:56,598 - Oh. - But I'm starting to feel like 996 00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,399 they just want another YaBurnt. 997 00:49:58,401 --> 00:50:00,069 - Ya-what? - YaBurnt. 998 00:50:00,071 --> 00:50:02,171 It's an app that I designed. 999 00:50:02,173 --> 00:50:05,006 Oh. Like an appetizer? 1000 00:50:05,008 --> 00:50:06,776 I love 'em when they're bottomless. 1001 00:50:08,479 --> 00:50:09,481 That's good! 1002 00:50:11,716 --> 00:50:14,149 - No, not an appetizer. - Oh. 1003 00:50:14,151 --> 00:50:17,120 An app like an application for a smartphone. 1004 00:50:17,122 --> 00:50:18,319 Oh, okay. 1005 00:50:18,321 --> 00:50:20,189 But my new concept, 1006 00:50:20,191 --> 00:50:25,294 it's something that I think could really help people... 1007 00:50:25,296 --> 00:50:30,035 if anyone would actually listen to what I have in mind. 1008 00:50:31,336 --> 00:50:32,667 I get it. 1009 00:50:32,669 --> 00:50:34,104 You're a really kind guy. 1010 00:50:34,805 --> 00:50:36,040 I could see that... 1011 00:50:37,441 --> 00:50:38,944 If only I could see. 1012 00:50:39,776 --> 00:50:40,845 Penny... 1013 00:50:42,613 --> 00:50:45,714 Penny, what is the name of that doctor you told me about? 1014 00:50:45,716 --> 00:50:46,816 Oh, um... 1015 00:50:46,818 --> 00:50:48,019 Doctor... 1016 00:50:50,287 --> 00:50:51,453 Schauffhaussen. 1017 00:50:51,455 --> 00:50:52,854 - Schauffhaussen. - Schauffhaussen. 1018 00:50:52,856 --> 00:50:55,024 How do you spell that? Is that S-C-H? 1019 00:50:55,026 --> 00:50:57,692 - Sure. - Okay. 1020 00:50:57,694 --> 00:50:58,794 Wait, what are you doing? 1021 00:50:58,796 --> 00:51:00,165 I'm looking him up online. 1022 00:51:02,466 --> 00:51:03,899 Not much is known about the good doctor. 1023 00:51:03,901 --> 00:51:05,868 I hear he's a recluse. 1024 00:51:05,870 --> 00:51:07,236 No, I found his website. 1025 00:51:07,238 --> 00:51:09,004 - Really? - Awesome. 1026 00:51:09,006 --> 00:51:10,573 Whoa. 1027 00:51:10,575 --> 00:51:11,977 No, here's an e-mail address. 1028 00:51:12,977 --> 00:51:14,743 Okay, you're kidding me. 1029 00:51:14,745 --> 00:51:15,910 Whoa. No way. 1030 00:51:15,912 --> 00:51:17,680 - Yeah. - No way. 1031 00:51:17,682 --> 00:51:20,015 I've sent something. There we go. 1032 00:51:20,017 --> 00:51:22,151 - See what happens. - Thomas, no, you... 1033 00:51:22,153 --> 00:51:23,519 - Oh... - No. 1034 00:51:23,521 --> 00:51:25,520 You really shouldn't have. 1035 00:51:25,522 --> 00:51:27,256 Let's not get our hopes up. 1036 00:51:27,258 --> 00:51:28,390 Okay. 1037 00:51:28,392 --> 00:51:29,825 He responded! 1038 00:51:29,827 --> 00:51:31,426 Of course he did. 1039 00:51:31,428 --> 00:51:32,896 Oh, it's an out-of-office reply. 1040 00:51:33,865 --> 00:51:34,997 Oh. 1041 00:51:34,999 --> 00:51:36,568 Let's see if he's on social media. 1042 00:51:37,935 --> 00:51:39,035 Oh, my God. 1043 00:51:39,037 --> 00:51:41,039 - No way! Oh, my God. - What? 1044 00:51:52,182 --> 00:51:54,049 Uh, excuse me, sir? 1045 00:51:54,051 --> 00:51:56,852 Hi. Uh, hi. My name's Thomas 1046 00:51:56,854 --> 00:52:00,790 and my friend Penny really, really needs your help. 1047 00:52:00,792 --> 00:52:03,692 I just saw your photo on Instagram, 1048 00:52:03,694 --> 00:52:04,926 and I had to come find you. 1049 00:52:04,928 --> 00:52:06,895 This is beyond coincidence. 1050 00:52:06,897 --> 00:52:10,531 It means something that you're here. Um... 1051 00:52:10,533 --> 00:52:12,569 So, what do you say, Dr. Schauffhaussen? 1052 00:52:13,803 --> 00:52:15,072 Will you help my friend? 1053 00:52:26,283 --> 00:52:28,149 Siri, I need to learn German. 1054 00:52:28,151 --> 00:52:30,387 That is not German. 1055 00:52:32,622 --> 00:52:33,923 That is Dutch. 1056 00:52:33,925 --> 00:52:36,258 Oh, um... 1057 00:52:36,260 --> 00:52:38,192 Hi, we met at the roulette table. 1058 00:52:38,194 --> 00:52:40,162 That is incorrect. We did not meet. 1059 00:52:40,164 --> 00:52:41,830 Otherwise, you would know that I... 1060 00:52:41,832 --> 00:52:43,167 You're Dr. Schauffhaussen? 1061 00:52:44,968 --> 00:52:46,838 Precisely. 1062 00:52:57,515 --> 00:52:58,980 Auf Wiedersehen. 1063 00:52:58,982 --> 00:53:01,716 No, wait, Dr. Schauffhaussen. I'm sorry if I offended you. 1064 00:53:01,718 --> 00:53:03,084 I am not offended. 1065 00:53:03,086 --> 00:53:04,486 It's just that I looked you up online, 1066 00:53:04,488 --> 00:53:05,988 I couldn't find a photo 1067 00:53:05,990 --> 00:53:07,189 and, I don't know, 1068 00:53:07,191 --> 00:53:09,193 I just didn't think you would be a woman. 1069 00:53:10,662 --> 00:53:11,961 I am offended now. 1070 00:53:11,963 --> 00:53:13,863 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 1071 00:53:13,865 --> 00:53:16,868 Please don't punish Penny for my sexism. 1072 00:53:17,334 --> 00:53:19,435 Penny? 1073 00:53:19,437 --> 00:53:21,770 Is this Penny from Cootamundra, Australia? 1074 00:53:21,772 --> 00:53:23,205 Yes! Yeah, that's her. 1075 00:53:23,207 --> 00:53:26,877 I remember her letters. Such a tragic case. 1076 00:53:28,077 --> 00:53:30,312 - Good luck to you both. - Wait. 1077 00:53:30,314 --> 00:53:32,013 Dr. Schauffhaussen, what do I have to do 1078 00:53:32,015 --> 00:53:34,015 to get you to see her here, tonight? 1079 00:53:34,017 --> 00:53:36,118 - Young man... - Thomas. 1080 00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,486 Thomas, it would be inappropriate 1081 00:53:38,488 --> 00:53:39,821 and unprofessional of me 1082 00:53:39,823 --> 00:53:41,355 to see patients while on my holiday. 1083 00:53:41,357 --> 00:53:43,325 Well, if it's a matter of money, I can... 1084 00:53:43,327 --> 00:53:45,194 You haven't given her any money, have you? 1085 00:53:45,196 --> 00:53:47,328 Well, some. But just for her sister. 1086 00:53:47,330 --> 00:53:51,200 You must not, under any circumstances, 1087 00:53:51,202 --> 00:53:53,201 give the patient money. 1088 00:53:53,203 --> 00:53:55,004 Otherwise, this reinforces the notion 1089 00:53:55,006 --> 00:53:56,071 that she's totally disabled 1090 00:53:56,073 --> 00:53:57,975 rendering the treatment kaput! 1091 00:53:58,843 --> 00:54:01,576 Wait, so you will treat her? 1092 00:54:01,578 --> 00:54:04,513 I agree to an initial examination. 1093 00:54:04,515 --> 00:54:07,152 - Yes! - I am too much the softie. 1094 00:54:07,752 --> 00:54:09,154 Where is she now? 1095 00:54:15,325 --> 00:54:16,327 Penny? 1096 00:54:19,729 --> 00:54:22,932 Coming. Just one second! One sec. 1097 00:54:22,934 --> 00:54:25,102 I've got a surprise for ya. 1098 00:54:26,671 --> 00:54:29,004 - Thomas, where did you go? - Yeah? 1099 00:54:29,006 --> 00:54:31,107 You'll never guess who I found. 1100 00:54:31,109 --> 00:54:33,377 - Who? - Who do you think? 1101 00:54:34,912 --> 00:54:38,283 It's Dr. Frederika Schauffhaussen. 1102 00:54:39,749 --> 00:54:41,783 Oh, she can't believe it! 1103 00:54:41,785 --> 00:54:43,886 Believe it, Fraulein. 1104 00:54:43,888 --> 00:54:48,024 I am here to help you, dear girl. 1105 00:54:48,026 --> 00:54:50,892 Dr. Schauffhaussen was having dinner at the hotel tonight. 1106 00:54:50,894 --> 00:54:54,229 I saw her Insta post. Isn't it incredible? 1107 00:54:54,231 --> 00:54:55,430 Incredible. 1108 00:54:55,432 --> 00:54:56,932 I must make my assessment of the patient. 1109 00:54:56,934 --> 00:54:58,033 - Thomas? - Yes? 1110 00:54:58,035 --> 00:54:59,537 I require a chair. 1111 00:55:02,106 --> 00:55:03,437 A warning. 1112 00:55:03,439 --> 00:55:06,543 My methods are unorthodox. 1113 00:55:07,877 --> 00:55:08,879 You understand? 1114 00:55:09,647 --> 00:55:10,912 - Yes. - Thank you. 1115 00:55:10,914 --> 00:55:12,448 Remove your person from the treatment space. 1116 00:55:12,450 --> 00:55:14,549 Oh. Okay, uh, here? 1117 00:55:20,057 --> 00:55:21,059 Sit. 1118 00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:26,095 So, you can see absolutely nothing? 1119 00:55:26,097 --> 00:55:28,830 No shapes, no light, no color? 1120 00:55:28,832 --> 00:55:30,899 No, nothing at all. That's what I said... 1121 00:55:30,901 --> 00:55:31,970 Silence! 1122 00:55:33,403 --> 00:55:34,604 Hey, I need that. 1123 00:55:34,606 --> 00:55:37,506 You will no longer use this crutch of the mind. 1124 00:55:39,843 --> 00:55:42,580 Stubborn like the patient. 1125 00:55:44,948 --> 00:55:46,647 I see. 1126 00:55:46,649 --> 00:55:49,620 You do not, but I see. 1127 00:55:54,191 --> 00:55:55,660 Has the test started yet? 1128 00:55:56,260 --> 00:55:57,261 Impressive. 1129 00:55:58,129 --> 00:55:59,794 Okay, Penny. 1130 00:55:59,796 --> 00:56:01,331 How about this? 1131 00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:14,545 I am funneling the air directly into your eye cavity. 1132 00:56:17,113 --> 00:56:18,946 My mouth hole is very narrow. 1133 00:56:18,948 --> 00:56:20,717 You should not be feeling this. 1134 00:56:30,627 --> 00:56:32,396 I just smell salmon. 1135 00:56:35,097 --> 00:56:36,798 It's very interesting. 1136 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,872 The body reacts, but the mind does not. 1137 00:56:43,173 --> 00:56:46,040 Penny, I would like you to have a little snack. 1138 00:56:46,042 --> 00:56:48,576 But you must guess the food that you're eating, ja? 1139 00:56:48,578 --> 00:56:50,414 Yeah, that sounds easy enough. 1140 00:56:56,220 --> 00:56:57,722 I will ready the snack. 1141 00:57:25,415 --> 00:57:26,548 Okay, Penny. 1142 00:57:26,550 --> 00:57:28,350 Here comes the choo-choo train. 1143 00:57:28,352 --> 00:57:31,455 Open wide. 1144 00:57:32,055 --> 00:57:33,691 Aah... 1145 00:57:39,229 --> 00:57:41,129 What is that? 1146 00:57:41,131 --> 00:57:43,165 A french fry. 1147 00:57:43,167 --> 00:57:45,303 Mmm. Can I have another one? 1148 00:57:47,705 --> 00:57:49,971 You are a very good blind person. 1149 00:57:49,973 --> 00:57:51,741 As such, you must surely know 1150 00:57:51,743 --> 00:57:54,308 the number of steps between you and the door. 1151 00:57:54,310 --> 00:57:55,609 Uh-huh. 1152 00:57:55,611 --> 00:57:59,413 And the number from the door to the elevator. 1153 00:57:59,415 --> 00:58:01,883 Because this is how the visually impaired function in the world. 1154 00:58:01,885 --> 00:58:05,154 Otherwise you would be running into things all the time, ja? 1155 00:58:05,156 --> 00:58:07,723 Yeah, I know all the steps. 1156 00:58:07,725 --> 00:58:08,726 Ja. 1157 00:58:09,459 --> 00:58:11,727 Okay, Penny. 1158 00:58:11,729 --> 00:58:12,895 I have opened the door. 1159 00:58:12,897 --> 00:58:15,229 An unobstructed path exists. 1160 00:58:15,231 --> 00:58:19,167 I want you to run full-speed down hallway 1161 00:58:19,169 --> 00:58:21,437 and stop in front of the elevator. 1162 00:58:21,439 --> 00:58:22,805 You can do this, then, ja? 1163 00:58:22,807 --> 00:58:25,006 Yeah, well, of course, then. 1164 00:58:25,008 --> 00:58:27,174 Yeah, it's pretty simple for a blind person 1165 00:58:27,176 --> 00:58:29,810 to just run in a straight line, so... 1166 00:58:30,914 --> 00:58:33,650 As fast as you can. Go! 1167 00:58:34,785 --> 00:58:36,953 - Um, now? - Ja! 1168 00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:44,761 Penny! 1169 00:58:46,196 --> 00:58:47,765 I will take the case. 1170 00:59:01,479 --> 00:59:03,511 Come, Thomas, I give you a tour. 1171 00:59:03,513 --> 00:59:04,515 Okay. 1172 00:59:05,850 --> 00:59:07,452 - Should we... Oh. - Come. 1173 00:59:08,019 --> 00:59:09,450 Quickly now. 1174 00:59:09,452 --> 00:59:10,986 - But what about... - Thank you. 1175 00:59:10,988 --> 00:59:12,321 Is this it? 1176 00:59:12,323 --> 00:59:14,455 Hello? 1177 00:59:14,457 --> 00:59:15,559 We're here? 1178 00:59:17,928 --> 00:59:19,463 Hello? Uh... 1179 00:59:22,365 --> 00:59:23,531 Oh, it's on. 1180 00:59:23,533 --> 00:59:25,966 Dr. Schauffhaussen, about your fee. 1181 00:59:25,968 --> 00:59:27,703 I have to move a few things around, 1182 00:59:27,705 --> 00:59:29,571 but I'll have it for you really soon. 1183 00:59:29,573 --> 00:59:31,006 - Oh. - Hey, guys? 1184 00:59:31,008 --> 00:59:34,078 I think somebody accidentally locked the front door. 1185 00:59:35,345 --> 00:59:38,412 Guys? Guys, are you there? 1186 00:59:39,950 --> 00:59:41,883 Whoa! Uh, sorry! 1187 00:59:41,885 --> 00:59:44,819 I hope that wasn't a priceless work of art or anything! 1188 00:59:44,821 --> 00:59:46,187 What if she gets hurt out there? 1189 00:59:46,189 --> 00:59:48,991 This is precisely why we do not intervene, Thomas. 1190 00:59:48,993 --> 00:59:51,759 Negative reinforcement is the prescription. 1191 00:59:51,761 --> 00:59:54,863 It is our job, yours und mine, 1192 00:59:54,865 --> 00:59:56,098 - to have fun. - Fun? 1193 00:59:56,100 --> 00:59:58,232 - Fun. - Okay. 1194 00:59:58,234 --> 01:00:00,570 You're thinking I am loony tune, ja? 1195 01:00:01,405 --> 01:00:04,339 - I am not. - No? 1196 01:00:04,341 --> 01:00:07,375 If we do this in front of Penny, have the fun, 1197 01:00:07,377 --> 01:00:09,910 she will want nothing more than to join us 1198 01:00:09,912 --> 01:00:12,249 in our seeing fun. 1199 01:00:12,716 --> 01:00:14,082 Yeah. 1200 01:00:14,084 --> 01:00:16,921 Why do I smell clinical strength lady douche wipes? 1201 01:00:18,088 --> 01:00:19,254 Oh. 1202 01:00:19,256 --> 01:00:20,892 Very strong. 1203 01:00:22,124 --> 01:00:25,394 No pity, Thomas. Only fun. 1204 01:00:25,396 --> 01:00:27,629 I also smell early menopause. 1205 01:00:27,631 --> 01:00:28,800 Now, the house. 1206 01:00:39,577 --> 01:00:41,609 Why are we doing this again? 1207 01:00:41,611 --> 01:00:44,446 Just as you take Thomas's arm when we walk, 1208 01:00:44,448 --> 01:00:46,915 so you take my leash when we ride. 1209 01:00:46,917 --> 01:00:48,917 That makes zero sense. 1210 01:00:48,919 --> 01:00:50,621 A hill approaches. 1211 01:00:54,758 --> 01:00:56,758 - Thank you so much. - Thank you. 1212 01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:58,727 - Merci. - Merci, merci. 1213 01:00:58,729 --> 01:01:00,562 This Cabernet. Oh, I love this one. 1214 01:01:00,564 --> 01:01:02,798 It turns quite chewy, 1215 01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:05,734 - und you can really taste oak. - Can I have some? 1216 01:01:05,736 --> 01:01:08,472 Oh. Of course, Penny. You may have some of mine. 1217 01:01:09,472 --> 01:01:10,574 Oh. 1218 01:01:12,475 --> 01:01:14,642 Is there a glass here? 1219 01:01:14,644 --> 01:01:15,843 You may drink the wine 1220 01:01:15,845 --> 01:01:18,348 when you see the glass well enough to seize it. 1221 01:01:22,752 --> 01:01:25,953 Oh. Oh, God. Did I spill something just now? 1222 01:01:27,857 --> 01:01:29,524 Oh, I'm so clumsy. 1223 01:01:29,526 --> 01:01:32,593 Dr. Schauffhaussen, um, let me help you. 1224 01:01:32,595 --> 01:01:34,361 Oh, no. I feel terrible. 1225 01:01:34,363 --> 01:01:36,099 Did I spill wine on your... 1226 01:01:49,879 --> 01:01:50,979 Waiter! 1227 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,828 Uh, are you sure that this is helping Penny? 1228 01:02:05,830 --> 01:02:08,830 Oh, trust me, this is for Penny's sake. 1229 01:02:08,832 --> 01:02:09,897 Okay. 1230 01:02:09,899 --> 01:02:11,732 You should see us, Penny. 1231 01:02:11,734 --> 01:02:13,901 Thomas and I are dancing. 1232 01:02:13,903 --> 01:02:15,671 Oh, I wish I could. 1233 01:02:15,673 --> 01:02:19,040 But you can, Penny. You can. 1234 01:02:19,042 --> 01:02:20,808 Yeah, I could also eat my own shit, 1235 01:02:20,810 --> 01:02:22,211 but I'm not doing that either. 1236 01:02:22,213 --> 01:02:25,249 It's okay, I'll just stand here minding your bag. 1237 01:02:27,751 --> 01:02:30,651 She's got a fuzzbox and knows how to use it. 1238 01:02:30,653 --> 01:02:31,819 Pardon? 1239 01:02:31,821 --> 01:02:33,421 Your friend with the bony ass 1240 01:02:33,423 --> 01:02:35,825 grinding away on that poor boy. 1241 01:02:37,026 --> 01:02:38,192 Oh. 1242 01:02:38,194 --> 01:02:39,395 Yeah, I wouldn't mind so much. 1243 01:02:39,397 --> 01:02:41,462 It's just that he used to be my boyfriend. 1244 01:02:41,464 --> 01:02:43,698 He was not! 1245 01:02:43,700 --> 01:02:45,232 And she's my best friend. 1246 01:02:45,234 --> 01:02:47,238 She is not! 1247 01:02:48,370 --> 01:02:49,738 Oh, my God. 1248 01:02:49,740 --> 01:02:53,441 Babe, you are, like, actually blind. 1249 01:02:53,443 --> 01:02:54,942 Oh, babe. 1250 01:02:54,944 --> 01:02:56,845 Blind as in "can't see" blind? 1251 01:02:56,847 --> 01:02:59,580 It was when I lost my sight that she moved in on him. 1252 01:02:59,582 --> 01:03:01,750 Shut up. 1253 01:03:01,752 --> 01:03:03,118 Watch us, Penny. 1254 01:03:03,120 --> 01:03:06,390 The way our bodies move in unison. 1255 01:03:08,758 --> 01:03:10,225 So sensual. 1256 01:03:10,227 --> 01:03:12,894 Right. I'm hitting her really hard in her vagina. 1257 01:03:12,896 --> 01:03:16,598 It's just if I could work out some way to get him alone, 1258 01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:18,834 then maybe he wouldn't call off the wedding. 1259 01:03:18,836 --> 01:03:21,236 You leave it with us, all right? I mean, 1260 01:03:21,238 --> 01:03:22,803 we are practically professionals, 1261 01:03:22,805 --> 01:03:24,305 my little blind poppet. 1262 01:03:24,307 --> 01:03:26,242 Girls, toilet. 1263 01:03:38,388 --> 01:03:40,823 That color looks boss on you. 1264 01:03:40,825 --> 01:03:42,059 Danke. 1265 01:03:46,897 --> 01:03:48,096 What is this? 1266 01:03:48,098 --> 01:03:50,499 It's a little thing we invented called Varma. 1267 01:03:50,501 --> 01:03:51,767 Karma. 1268 01:03:51,769 --> 01:03:52,837 Karma. 1269 01:03:54,571 --> 01:03:55,736 Oh, it is on. 1270 01:03:55,738 --> 01:03:58,141 It is on like Kim Kardashian. 1271 01:04:00,343 --> 01:04:02,009 - Is that nice? - Yeah, you want some? 1272 01:04:02,011 --> 01:04:03,912 - Oh, uh, yeah, sure. - Oh, sorry. 1273 01:04:03,914 --> 01:04:05,113 Uh... 1274 01:04:05,115 --> 01:04:07,182 Yeah. Thank you. 1275 01:04:07,184 --> 01:04:09,750 Uh, it's kinda weird that Dr. Schauffhaussen 1276 01:04:09,752 --> 01:04:11,819 just disappeared like that, right? 1277 01:04:11,821 --> 01:04:14,154 Germans are so spontaneous. 1278 01:04:14,156 --> 01:04:17,658 It's probably just part of her crazy treatment plan. 1279 01:04:17,660 --> 01:04:20,162 Yeah, don't give up on that, Penny, okay? 1280 01:04:20,164 --> 01:04:21,495 I mean, I know that it's hard, 1281 01:04:21,497 --> 01:04:24,131 but there's so much that you deserve to see. 1282 01:04:24,133 --> 01:04:25,533 Like this view, 1283 01:04:25,535 --> 01:04:27,334 and these lights, 1284 01:04:27,336 --> 01:04:28,770 and the face you make 1285 01:04:28,772 --> 01:04:30,171 when you think I'm being a dork. 1286 01:04:30,173 --> 01:04:31,872 What, this one? 1287 01:04:31,874 --> 01:04:34,277 Yeah, that one. 1288 01:04:34,877 --> 01:04:36,044 But that one... 1289 01:04:36,046 --> 01:04:37,946 - That one's my favorite. - What? 1290 01:04:37,948 --> 01:04:40,151 - That one. - No, what? 1291 01:04:40,716 --> 01:04:42,417 Shut up. 1292 01:04:42,419 --> 01:04:44,118 Well, you'll just have to take my word for it. 1293 01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:47,187 As the sole sighted person between us, 1294 01:04:47,189 --> 01:04:48,958 you're beautiful, Penny. 1295 01:04:52,229 --> 01:04:54,830 Anyway, I'm sure Dr. Schauffhaussen's gonna 1296 01:04:54,832 --> 01:04:56,698 break out the big psychological guns 1297 01:04:56,700 --> 01:04:59,633 once I actually give her the fee. 1298 01:04:59,635 --> 01:05:03,370 Oh, um, yeah, about that. I was gonna say to you, 1299 01:05:03,372 --> 01:05:05,140 is it possible to give me the money 1300 01:05:05,142 --> 01:05:07,975 and then I'll just give it to Dr. Schauffhaussen? 1301 01:05:07,977 --> 01:05:11,145 - Oh. - I know this will sound silly, 1302 01:05:11,147 --> 01:05:14,049 but it would just make me feel like I'm less of a charity case. 1303 01:05:14,051 --> 01:05:16,718 Totally. I completely understand. I, um... 1304 01:05:16,720 --> 01:05:21,055 I just have to, uh, sell the last of my stock. 1305 01:05:21,057 --> 01:05:23,524 Wait, don't you own, like, the whole company? 1306 01:05:23,526 --> 01:05:26,426 You're, like, so rich. 1307 01:05:26,428 --> 01:05:28,062 - No. - No? 1308 01:05:28,064 --> 01:05:29,363 No. Um... 1309 01:05:29,365 --> 01:05:32,000 The algorithm for YaBurnt was mine, 1310 01:05:32,002 --> 01:05:34,736 but the seed investors actually bought me out. 1311 01:05:34,738 --> 01:05:36,004 Yeah, for how much? 1312 01:05:36,006 --> 01:05:37,906 A cool million. 1313 01:05:37,908 --> 01:05:41,942 Um, but I only have 400,000 left. 1314 01:05:41,944 --> 01:05:45,714 Uh, but it's okay. My nana's gonna... She's gonna loan me the rest. 1315 01:05:45,716 --> 01:05:49,017 So, after you pay the Dr. Schauffhaussen fee, you'd be broke? 1316 01:05:49,019 --> 01:05:50,584 Yeah, but it's fine. 1317 01:05:50,586 --> 01:05:52,520 Because I have a lot of good ideas, 1318 01:05:52,522 --> 01:05:53,724 and hoodies are cheap. 1319 01:05:54,457 --> 01:05:55,557 I don't get it though. 1320 01:05:55,559 --> 01:05:57,125 Why would you bankrupt yourself 1321 01:05:57,127 --> 01:05:59,259 for someone you don't even know? 1322 01:05:59,261 --> 01:06:00,895 Like, I'm a stranger. 1323 01:06:00,897 --> 01:06:04,098 Well, my nana... 1324 01:06:04,100 --> 01:06:05,700 My nana always said that the best thing 1325 01:06:05,702 --> 01:06:07,234 money can do is good. 1326 01:06:07,236 --> 01:06:09,305 And you getting to see again is good. 1327 01:06:11,140 --> 01:06:13,644 Plus, you're not a stranger. 1328 01:06:14,611 --> 01:06:15,879 You're Penny. 1329 01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:18,282 Yes, I am. 1330 01:06:30,127 --> 01:06:31,462 Honey, I'm home. 1331 01:06:33,330 --> 01:06:34,729 Oh, please. 1332 01:06:34,731 --> 01:06:39,334 You think I can't handle the Real Housewives of Essex? 1333 01:06:39,336 --> 01:06:41,837 It took a considerable amount of limoncello 1334 01:06:41,839 --> 01:06:43,437 and several rounds of arm wrestling, 1335 01:06:43,439 --> 01:06:45,075 but c'est la vie. 1336 01:06:45,943 --> 01:06:47,441 The bet's off, Jo. 1337 01:06:47,443 --> 01:06:48,944 Oh, don't go, Penny. 1338 01:06:48,946 --> 01:06:50,779 You've taught me so much about love. 1339 01:06:50,781 --> 01:06:52,180 We need to find another mark. 1340 01:06:52,182 --> 01:06:53,915 No, absolutely not. 1341 01:06:53,917 --> 01:06:55,149 I have had about as much of this 1342 01:06:55,151 --> 01:06:57,120 absurd interlude with you as I can bear. 1343 01:06:59,955 --> 01:07:01,791 Those are decorative. 1344 01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,325 He's a good guy, Jo. 1345 01:07:04,327 --> 01:07:06,361 That's a moxy-noron, Pen. 1346 01:07:06,363 --> 01:07:08,462 Okay, you know, back in the day 1347 01:07:08,464 --> 01:07:10,365 when I was just catfishing, 1348 01:07:10,367 --> 01:07:13,834 there was always this one moment where I would decide, 1349 01:07:13,836 --> 01:07:15,472 "I'm gonna take your money." 1350 01:07:16,372 --> 01:07:17,872 And it wasn't when they fell 1351 01:07:17,874 --> 01:07:20,941 for the superficial hot girl bait 1352 01:07:20,943 --> 01:07:23,845 or when they texted dick pics like complete animals. 1353 01:07:23,847 --> 01:07:26,714 It was when we'd meet up in person 1354 01:07:26,716 --> 01:07:28,452 and I'd come in 1355 01:07:29,118 --> 01:07:30,354 and he'd just 1356 01:07:31,620 --> 01:07:33,189 look at me like that. 1357 01:07:37,526 --> 01:07:40,030 And that's when I'd decide to rob him blind. 1358 01:07:41,999 --> 01:07:45,066 But when Thomas looks at me, he doesn't do that. 1359 01:07:45,068 --> 01:07:47,401 He's just different. 1360 01:07:47,403 --> 01:07:49,102 He's a genuinely nice person. 1361 01:07:49,104 --> 01:07:50,973 Yeah, but we're not nice women, Penny, are we? 1362 01:07:50,975 --> 01:07:52,841 And this isn't a likability contest. 1363 01:07:52,843 --> 01:07:54,408 Lucky for you, 'cause I'd win. 1364 01:07:54,410 --> 01:07:55,509 Would you? 1365 01:07:55,511 --> 01:07:57,647 Please. Thomas loves me. 1366 01:07:59,749 --> 01:08:01,915 He loves you? 1367 01:08:01,917 --> 01:08:04,151 Like, I mean he'll do whatever I want. 1368 01:08:04,153 --> 01:08:06,589 Well, then it appears we have our solution. 1369 01:08:10,327 --> 01:08:13,560 If you don't have the stomach to take money 1370 01:08:13,562 --> 01:08:15,398 from your darling Thomas, 1371 01:08:16,667 --> 01:08:18,367 darling Thomas becomes the bet. 1372 01:08:18,369 --> 01:08:20,335 But I thought you didn't nail your marks. 1373 01:08:20,337 --> 01:08:22,837 Evidently, we must up the ante in this little game of ours. 1374 01:08:22,839 --> 01:08:25,038 Unless, of course, you feel you're outmatched. 1375 01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:27,742 Please. Guys love asses, 1376 01:08:27,744 --> 01:08:30,281 but not when there's something already stuck up there. 1377 01:08:31,448 --> 01:08:33,215 Then we're agreed. 1378 01:08:33,217 --> 01:08:35,219 Thomas is the bet. 1379 01:08:35,718 --> 01:08:36,720 Yeah. 1380 01:08:39,589 --> 01:08:40,623 Yeah. 1381 01:08:43,459 --> 01:08:45,227 Well, okay. 1382 01:08:45,229 --> 01:08:46,594 I should really get to bed, 1383 01:08:46,596 --> 01:08:49,630 'cause I've got such a big day of seduction tomorrow. 1384 01:08:49,632 --> 01:08:51,599 Oh, absolutely. 1385 01:08:51,601 --> 01:08:53,033 How about a bedtime story? 1386 01:08:53,035 --> 01:08:55,372 - Oh, no, that's not necessary. - Albert! 1387 01:08:58,040 --> 01:09:00,441 Oh. Hi. 1388 01:09:00,443 --> 01:09:02,911 - Thank you. - Oh, that's not good. 1389 01:09:02,913 --> 01:09:04,778 I do so admire their spirit. 1390 01:09:04,780 --> 01:09:06,313 Less so their spray tans. 1391 01:09:06,315 --> 01:09:07,415 Ladies. 1392 01:09:10,052 --> 01:09:11,719 All right, my babe. 1393 01:09:11,721 --> 01:09:12,723 Ah. 1394 01:09:14,891 --> 01:09:17,590 Oh, so you thought you could play us, yeah? 1395 01:09:17,592 --> 01:09:18,693 Ladies, I can explain. 1396 01:09:18,695 --> 01:09:21,295 Babes, this is not a good situation for you. 1397 01:09:21,297 --> 01:09:22,831 My cousin's got the blinds 1398 01:09:22,833 --> 01:09:23,997 - from the diabetes. - Diabetes. 1399 01:09:23,999 --> 01:09:26,167 Don't go to the hotel now, Jo. 1400 01:09:26,169 --> 01:09:28,969 Give it the night. He'll be more energetic in the morning. 1401 01:09:28,971 --> 01:09:30,404 Oh, you're not going anywhere. 1402 01:09:30,406 --> 01:09:32,473 Ladies, pass me the superglue. 1403 01:09:41,684 --> 01:09:43,785 - Thomas. - Dr. Schauffhaussen. 1404 01:09:43,787 --> 01:09:45,653 Please... 1405 01:09:45,655 --> 01:09:47,688 Call me Frederika. 1406 01:09:47,690 --> 01:09:49,189 Okay. 1407 01:09:49,191 --> 01:09:51,694 Oh, God. I'm sorry. 1408 01:09:52,695 --> 01:09:53,796 Come on in. 1409 01:09:54,330 --> 01:09:55,431 Um... 1410 01:10:03,506 --> 01:10:04,508 Thank you. 1411 01:10:05,874 --> 01:10:08,510 A little treat for us. 1412 01:10:08,512 --> 01:10:11,313 We've been working so hard for sweet Penny. 1413 01:10:11,315 --> 01:10:14,816 We deserve to be a little selfish, ja? 1414 01:10:14,818 --> 01:10:16,651 Some say these are an aphrodisiac. 1415 01:10:16,653 --> 01:10:17,986 - Oh, no, thank... - Oh! 1416 01:10:17,988 --> 01:10:20,020 Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Doctor... 1417 01:10:20,022 --> 01:10:21,857 No! I got it. It's fine, it's fine. 1418 01:10:21,859 --> 01:10:23,459 I got it, I got it. It's... 1419 01:10:38,106 --> 01:10:39,109 Thank you. 1420 01:10:42,145 --> 01:10:43,377 Thomas... 1421 01:10:43,379 --> 01:10:45,281 I must be candid. 1422 01:10:46,315 --> 01:10:48,618 I'm here under false pretenses. 1423 01:10:50,686 --> 01:10:52,322 - You are? - Ja. 1424 01:10:55,324 --> 01:10:56,392 Okay. 1425 01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:08,002 I hope this isn't inappropriate, 1426 01:11:08,004 --> 01:11:10,237 but would you help me with mein coding? 1427 01:11:10,239 --> 01:11:11,505 "Mein coding"? 1428 01:11:11,507 --> 01:11:13,573 Ja, I'm having trouble with my website. 1429 01:11:13,575 --> 01:11:15,542 - Oh, coding! - Hmm. 1430 01:11:15,544 --> 01:11:18,179 Yeah, sure. What seems to be the problem? 1431 01:11:18,181 --> 01:11:19,216 Well... 1432 01:11:20,350 --> 01:11:23,684 When I use JavaScript, the HTTP crawler 1433 01:11:23,686 --> 01:11:25,754 is not scraping the metadata correctly 1434 01:11:25,756 --> 01:11:28,355 and I am losing the CSS properties. 1435 01:11:28,357 --> 01:11:32,428 Well, did you try parsing the CSS separately using regex? 1436 01:11:34,931 --> 01:11:36,596 I did not. 1437 01:11:36,598 --> 01:11:37,601 Hmm. 1438 01:11:43,239 --> 01:11:46,340 Fixed! Well, it's been a really long day. 1439 01:11:46,342 --> 01:11:49,242 I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna... 1440 01:11:49,244 --> 01:11:53,080 Are you aware that it is a full moon tonight? 1441 01:11:53,082 --> 01:11:54,782 Ah. 1442 01:11:54,784 --> 01:11:57,684 I love to feel the air on my skin. 1443 01:11:57,686 --> 01:11:59,789 Right. Aren't you kinda cold though? 1444 01:12:03,927 --> 01:12:05,593 What are you doin'? 1445 01:12:05,595 --> 01:12:08,261 I feel reckless tonight, Thomas. 1446 01:12:08,263 --> 01:12:10,434 Okay, that's not funny. Can you come inside now? 1447 01:12:11,400 --> 01:12:13,267 If I fell, would you catch me? 1448 01:12:13,269 --> 01:12:14,435 Stop it. 1449 01:12:14,437 --> 01:12:15,439 Don't. 1450 01:12:16,006 --> 01:12:17,007 Don't! 1451 01:12:19,008 --> 01:12:20,843 Oh! 1452 01:12:21,477 --> 01:12:22,542 Thomas. 1453 01:12:22,544 --> 01:12:24,144 - Dr. Schauffhaussen... - Frederika. 1454 01:12:24,146 --> 01:12:25,778 You've taught me so much about discipline... 1455 01:12:25,780 --> 01:12:26,947 I can teach you more. 1456 01:12:26,949 --> 01:12:28,616 - ...and integrity. - Ja, sure. 1457 01:12:28,618 --> 01:12:31,117 I think we should keep things professional between us. 1458 01:12:31,119 --> 01:12:33,489 - Aw... - For Penny's sake. 1459 01:12:36,626 --> 01:12:37,694 For Penny's sake? 1460 01:12:40,629 --> 01:12:41,765 Of course. 1461 01:12:43,365 --> 01:12:44,834 Well, I'll just... 1462 01:12:47,136 --> 01:12:48,138 Go. 1463 01:12:59,281 --> 01:13:00,350 Auf Wiedersehen. 1464 01:13:02,953 --> 01:13:03,921 Wait. 1465 01:13:14,530 --> 01:13:16,832 Mmm. Thomas. 1466 01:13:19,468 --> 01:13:23,737 Oh. Albert? Albert. Hey, man. 1467 01:13:23,739 --> 01:13:25,674 Um... Just a shot in the dark. 1468 01:13:25,676 --> 01:13:28,712 Do you happen to have superglue remover? 1469 01:13:32,015 --> 01:13:33,717 Holy crap. How did you have that? 1470 01:13:34,482 --> 01:13:35,916 Yeah, that's awesome. 1471 01:13:35,918 --> 01:13:37,421 Yes. Legend. 1472 01:13:38,422 --> 01:13:39,423 Uh... 1473 01:13:40,356 --> 01:13:41,457 Albert? 1474 01:13:42,691 --> 01:13:44,394 Oh, come on, that's just cruel! 1475 01:14:01,445 --> 01:14:03,914 Ow! 1476 01:14:12,754 --> 01:14:14,723 Hey, you. Hey. 1477 01:14:14,725 --> 01:14:16,590 Do you know who Josephine Chesterfield is? 1478 01:14:16,592 --> 01:14:18,059 Or Dr. Schauffhaussen? 1479 01:14:18,061 --> 01:14:19,794 Oui, mademoiselle. We know all her aliases. 1480 01:14:19,796 --> 01:14:21,263 She's very generous. 1481 01:14:21,897 --> 01:14:22,966 Uh... 1482 01:14:24,734 --> 01:14:27,201 Hmm? All right, so was she here last night? 1483 01:14:27,203 --> 01:14:29,603 Oui, with the tech boy. 1484 01:14:29,605 --> 01:14:32,242 Damn it. Okay, um... 1485 01:14:33,208 --> 01:14:34,709 Well, wait. When she left, 1486 01:14:34,711 --> 01:14:38,545 did she seem, like, you know, satisfied? 1487 01:14:38,547 --> 01:14:40,980 Like, you know, like, she'd got some? 1488 01:14:40,982 --> 01:14:42,883 - Oh, no. - No? 1489 01:14:42,885 --> 01:14:44,320 She hasn't left yet. 1490 01:15:08,610 --> 01:15:12,147 Yeah, I know you won. I'm getting outta here. 1491 01:15:12,149 --> 01:15:14,514 Uh... What did I... What did I win? 1492 01:15:14,516 --> 01:15:17,117 Thomas, what are you doing here? 1493 01:15:17,119 --> 01:15:20,122 I'm here to say goodbye. 1494 01:15:21,423 --> 01:15:23,791 Where's Dr. Schauffhaussen, then? 1495 01:15:23,793 --> 01:15:26,161 Um... I don't know. 1496 01:15:26,163 --> 01:15:28,929 This morning, she kind of left in a hurry 1497 01:15:28,931 --> 01:15:31,268 and now I have to go. 1498 01:15:32,368 --> 01:15:34,135 The investors are, um, 1499 01:15:34,137 --> 01:15:35,202 they're flying me home. 1500 01:15:35,204 --> 01:15:36,737 I just needed to say, 1501 01:15:36,739 --> 01:15:39,006 Penny, you're the one genuine, 1502 01:15:39,008 --> 01:15:40,976 good thing that happened to me here. 1503 01:15:45,647 --> 01:15:47,316 Anyway, um... 1504 01:15:49,351 --> 01:15:50,352 Bye, Penny. 1505 01:15:57,360 --> 01:15:58,862 Thomas, wait! Don't go! 1506 01:16:10,338 --> 01:16:11,675 Penny! 1507 01:16:12,909 --> 01:16:15,009 Oh, my God! Penny, are you okay? 1508 01:16:15,011 --> 01:16:17,143 This has been a brutal week. 1509 01:16:21,318 --> 01:16:22,284 Dick. 1510 01:16:24,820 --> 01:16:28,024 Wait, Penny, could you just see Albert? 1511 01:16:29,025 --> 01:16:30,125 Uh... 1512 01:16:30,127 --> 01:16:32,262 Did you just look at me? Can you see me? 1513 01:16:33,995 --> 01:16:35,563 Is your hair brownish? 1514 01:16:35,565 --> 01:16:37,234 Yes! Yes, it is! 1515 01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:39,500 Wait, Penny. 1516 01:16:39,502 --> 01:16:41,033 Can you read that? 1517 01:16:41,035 --> 01:16:42,670 No, that's in French. 1518 01:16:42,672 --> 01:16:44,438 Oh. Sorry. 1519 01:16:44,440 --> 01:16:45,872 What about this? 1520 01:16:45,874 --> 01:16:48,709 "Social anxiety. You're not the problem, the world is." 1521 01:16:48,711 --> 01:16:50,879 Yes! Penny, you can see! 1522 01:16:50,881 --> 01:16:52,612 I can finally see your face! 1523 01:16:52,614 --> 01:16:55,749 - Oh, that's probably a bummer. - No, come off it! 1524 01:16:55,751 --> 01:16:58,551 - You got such a nice face. - Oh. 1525 01:16:58,553 --> 01:17:01,421 I guess Dr. Schauffhaussen's money 1526 01:17:01,423 --> 01:17:02,825 was put to good use, huh? 1527 01:17:04,459 --> 01:17:06,693 What do you mean? 1528 01:17:06,695 --> 01:17:08,862 You didn't give her the 500,000, did you? 1529 01:17:08,864 --> 01:17:10,130 Yeah, of course. 1530 01:17:10,132 --> 01:17:12,099 I wanted to make sure that your treatment continued. 1531 01:17:12,101 --> 01:17:14,469 No, no. But that was all that you had. 1532 01:17:14,471 --> 01:17:17,871 It was worth every penny, Penny. 1533 01:17:21,144 --> 01:17:23,077 Wait a minute. I don't understand. 1534 01:17:23,079 --> 01:17:25,479 You're giving me $500,000? 1535 01:17:25,481 --> 01:17:27,247 My sister just won the lottery in Australia. 1536 01:17:27,249 --> 01:17:29,282 And she used my birthday and my bra size, 1537 01:17:29,284 --> 01:17:30,484 so she owes me. 1538 01:17:30,486 --> 01:17:32,719 I can't let you cover my medical expenses. 1539 01:17:32,721 --> 01:17:35,224 Well, regardless, I cannot accept this. 1540 01:17:37,126 --> 01:17:38,925 Thomas, no, I insist. 1541 01:17:38,927 --> 01:17:40,162 Well, I resist. 1542 01:17:42,832 --> 01:17:45,633 Stop. It's a $2 transaction fee every time. 1543 01:17:45,635 --> 01:17:48,135 Oh, shit. Well, it's in your account now. 1544 01:17:48,137 --> 01:17:49,573 No take-backs. 1545 01:17:51,507 --> 01:17:52,605 Okay. 1546 01:17:52,607 --> 01:17:53,642 Penny... 1547 01:17:54,977 --> 01:17:57,178 Do you wanna come? 1548 01:17:57,180 --> 01:17:59,513 - Come with me. - I'm not coming with you. 1549 01:17:59,515 --> 01:18:00,617 Why not? 1550 01:18:01,816 --> 01:18:03,520 'Cause you don't know me. 1551 01:18:04,954 --> 01:18:06,356 Not the real me. 1552 01:18:07,824 --> 01:18:10,124 Well, I'd like to, 1553 01:18:10,126 --> 01:18:11,861 if you ever change your mind. 1554 01:18:21,137 --> 01:18:22,138 All right. 1555 01:18:31,547 --> 01:18:32,980 What have you done? 1556 01:18:32,982 --> 01:18:34,648 How could you let him leave? 1557 01:18:34,650 --> 01:18:35,950 What are you talking about? 1558 01:18:35,952 --> 01:18:37,251 You won the bet. 1559 01:18:37,253 --> 01:18:39,319 Stop! 1560 01:18:39,321 --> 01:18:42,990 Come back! Come back! Come back! No! No! 1561 01:18:45,861 --> 01:18:50,029 Aw, the plane didn't stop for the crazy lady. 1562 01:18:50,031 --> 01:18:51,264 Here she comes. 1563 01:18:51,266 --> 01:18:56,105 Walk of shame. Walk of shame. Walk of shame. 1564 01:18:57,006 --> 01:18:58,538 Last night I went to his room 1565 01:18:58,540 --> 01:19:00,407 and, yes, I tried to seduce him. 1566 01:19:00,409 --> 01:19:01,742 And I thought I was getting somewhere, too, 1567 01:19:01,744 --> 01:19:03,044 because he turned out the lights, 1568 01:19:03,046 --> 01:19:05,211 but it was only to show me a PowerPoint presentation 1569 01:19:05,213 --> 01:19:06,546 all about his new app. 1570 01:19:06,548 --> 01:19:08,014 Once he had finished his pitch, 1571 01:19:08,016 --> 01:19:09,515 I assumed we'd go to bed. 1572 01:19:09,517 --> 01:19:11,385 Then he said he's bit of a germophobe, 1573 01:19:11,387 --> 01:19:13,754 so would I mind taking a shower, 1574 01:19:13,756 --> 01:19:15,355 and I was insulted, 1575 01:19:15,357 --> 01:19:17,758 but I complied for the sake of the bet. 1576 01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:20,027 And when I emerged, he was gone, my clothes were gone, 1577 01:19:20,029 --> 01:19:21,429 my jewelry, my phone, my laptop, 1578 01:19:21,431 --> 01:19:23,800 even my limited edition Jimmy Choos! 1579 01:19:26,336 --> 01:19:28,738 Come off it. 1580 01:19:29,571 --> 01:19:30,904 You expect me to believe 1581 01:19:30,906 --> 01:19:34,341 that that kind guy tried to jack your Jimmy Choos 1582 01:19:34,343 --> 01:19:36,777 when he just returned to me $500,000 1583 01:19:36,779 --> 01:19:37,781 that I tried to give him? 1584 01:19:40,216 --> 01:19:42,550 Why did you give him $500,000? 1585 01:19:42,552 --> 01:19:45,018 Because that's the amount you stole from him. 1586 01:19:45,020 --> 01:19:46,254 No! 1587 01:19:46,256 --> 01:19:48,054 That is what I'm saying, tits for brains! 1588 01:19:48,056 --> 01:19:49,423 I didn't steal from him. 1589 01:19:49,425 --> 01:19:52,028 I invested in his app! 1590 01:19:52,695 --> 01:19:53,760 How much? 1591 01:19:53,762 --> 01:19:56,964 $500,000. 1592 01:19:58,234 --> 01:19:59,369 It's from Thomas. 1593 01:19:59,936 --> 01:20:01,635 No! 1594 01:20:01,637 --> 01:20:03,571 Let me see! Let me see! 1595 01:20:03,573 --> 01:20:05,037 "Penny, I honestly meant what I said just now, 1596 01:20:05,039 --> 01:20:06,206 but here's the thing. 1597 01:20:06,208 --> 01:20:08,709 Con artists make the best marks of all. 1598 01:20:08,711 --> 01:20:11,944 I was taught that by my nana. Or as you may know her... 1599 01:20:11,946 --> 01:20:13,313 Medusa." 1600 01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:16,916 That means... 1601 01:20:16,918 --> 01:20:18,952 You're Thomas's nana. 1602 01:20:18,954 --> 01:20:21,854 - Oh, you sick perv! - No! Christ, Penny! 1603 01:20:21,856 --> 01:20:23,756 Clearly, Thomas's nana was Medusa, 1604 01:20:23,758 --> 01:20:26,227 and she passed the torch on to him and now he's the new Medusa. 1605 01:20:26,229 --> 01:20:27,828 What is wrong with you? 1606 01:20:27,830 --> 01:20:30,199 He didn't transfer me the Bitcoin back. 1607 01:20:32,068 --> 01:20:33,834 He still has my 500,000. 1608 01:20:33,836 --> 01:20:35,872 And my 500,000. 1609 01:20:37,906 --> 01:20:41,011 Did we just give that boy a million dollars? 1610 01:20:42,211 --> 01:20:45,245 Are you kidding me? 1611 01:20:45,247 --> 01:20:47,246 - Of all the lying... - No! 1612 01:20:47,248 --> 01:20:49,116 ...two-faced, conniving, 1613 01:20:49,118 --> 01:20:51,118 - cheating, slimy... - Dude, are you serious? 1614 01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:52,252 ...millennial bastard hacker grifter... 1615 01:20:52,254 --> 01:20:53,319 I'm so angry and horny right now! 1616 01:20:53,321 --> 01:20:54,921 ...shit-stain assholes, 1617 01:20:54,923 --> 01:20:56,493 he is the worst! 1618 01:21:02,531 --> 01:21:05,635 But he is kinda awesome, too, right? 1619 01:21:28,024 --> 01:21:32,225 Albert, I'm sorry for calling your balls skeletal. 1620 01:21:32,227 --> 01:21:34,364 I know there's nothing hard down there. 1621 01:21:34,930 --> 01:21:35,999 Suck it. 1622 01:21:47,510 --> 01:21:49,809 Thanks for letting me stay the extra two weeks. 1623 01:21:49,811 --> 01:21:51,612 One more than agreed upon. 1624 01:21:51,614 --> 01:21:54,148 Yeah, it was cozy, wasn't it? 1625 01:21:54,150 --> 01:21:55,752 Mmm! 1626 01:21:58,687 --> 01:22:00,556 What will your next chapter be? 1627 01:22:01,824 --> 01:22:05,192 I was thinking of going to Thailand. 1628 01:22:05,194 --> 01:22:06,859 Maybe Bangkok 1629 01:22:06,861 --> 01:22:08,498 or Phuket. 1630 01:22:10,766 --> 01:22:12,398 Phuket. 1631 01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:14,501 No, that's not how you say it. 1632 01:22:22,078 --> 01:22:23,609 What's this? 1633 01:22:23,611 --> 01:22:27,313 It's your cut of the "Lord of the Rings" con. 1634 01:22:27,315 --> 01:22:30,017 - Oh! - Minus expenses, of course. 1635 01:22:30,019 --> 01:22:33,219 Wardrobe, catering, prosthetics, et cetera. 1636 01:22:33,221 --> 01:22:35,855 And the cost of the vases that you broke. 1637 01:22:35,857 --> 01:22:37,558 And the plumbing issues I caused. 1638 01:22:37,560 --> 01:22:39,428 - What? - Hmm? 1639 01:22:50,705 --> 01:22:51,774 Au revoir. 1640 01:22:58,114 --> 01:23:01,048 Yello! Make a hole, people. Make a hole. 1641 01:23:01,050 --> 01:23:02,750 'Scuse me, comin' through. 1642 01:23:02,752 --> 01:23:04,751 Come on, Ritchie comin' through, baby. 1643 01:23:04,753 --> 01:23:07,121 'Scuse me, 'scuse me. Thank you very much. 1644 01:23:07,123 --> 01:23:09,290 Okay, yeah. Thank you very much. 1645 01:23:09,292 --> 01:23:11,157 All right. Okay. 1646 01:23:11,159 --> 01:23:12,960 Intros. 1647 01:23:12,962 --> 01:23:14,760 Cathy! Cathy, baby, you get that 1648 01:23:14,762 --> 01:23:16,264 rock-hard caboose up here this minute. 1649 01:23:16,266 --> 01:23:17,630 Ritchie, slow down! 1650 01:23:17,632 --> 01:23:19,233 I have to catch my breath. 1651 01:23:19,235 --> 01:23:20,300 Oh, shut it, doll. 1652 01:23:20,302 --> 01:23:22,236 You're in mint condition and you know it. 1653 01:23:22,238 --> 01:23:24,804 Okay, so here's the story. 1654 01:23:24,806 --> 01:23:28,442 I was showing Cathy here some luxury property in Capri, 1655 01:23:28,444 --> 01:23:29,843 when I realized that this lady's 1656 01:23:29,845 --> 01:23:31,478 got some high-class taste. 1657 01:23:31,480 --> 01:23:33,647 And I don't just mean for real estate, nope. 1658 01:23:33,649 --> 01:23:35,515 Cathy's an animal lover, see, 1659 01:23:35,517 --> 01:23:38,152 but she doesn't just like regular doggies and birdies. 1660 01:23:38,154 --> 01:23:41,855 She likes special furry friends who are maybe, oh, 1661 01:23:41,857 --> 01:23:43,823 a little illegal. Is that right, Cathy? 1662 01:23:43,825 --> 01:23:46,327 Yes it is. Now, Cathy, what is it you wanted to start? 1663 01:23:46,329 --> 01:23:48,328 It was a monastery or something? 1664 01:23:48,330 --> 01:23:50,930 A rare animal sanctuary and spa. 1665 01:23:50,932 --> 01:23:52,133 I love it. 1666 01:23:52,135 --> 01:23:53,434 So I say to Cathy, 1667 01:23:53,436 --> 01:23:54,867 "You'll have to meet my friends." 1668 01:23:54,869 --> 01:23:56,402 We hopped in the dinghy, 1669 01:23:56,404 --> 01:23:58,673 we set sail, and here we are! 1670 01:23:58,675 --> 01:24:01,942 Cathy, I want y'all to meet South Africa's 1671 01:24:01,944 --> 01:24:05,645 most celebrated and discreet endangered species dealer, 1672 01:24:05,647 --> 01:24:08,016 Imka Bekker. 1673 01:24:16,659 --> 01:24:18,059 Say, what's wrong, Imka? 1674 01:24:18,061 --> 01:24:20,063 Exotic cat got your tongue? 1675 01:24:23,399 --> 01:24:25,233 No. 1676 01:24:25,235 --> 01:24:26,701 Howzit, Cathy? 1677 01:24:26,703 --> 01:24:29,870 It's such a pleasure to meet a fellow wildlife enthusiast. 1678 01:24:29,872 --> 01:24:31,404 I love the springboks, myself. 1679 01:24:31,406 --> 01:24:32,673 Oh! Me too. Me too. 1680 01:24:32,675 --> 01:24:34,575 Look at me being a total jackass. 1681 01:24:34,577 --> 01:24:37,877 I forgot to introduce Imka's right-hand woman. 1682 01:24:37,879 --> 01:24:40,080 Ladies and gentlemen, if y'all ever need 1683 01:24:40,082 --> 01:24:42,716 a crocodile just wrestled into submission, 1684 01:24:42,718 --> 01:24:45,254 Sheila Malarkey is your gal. 1685 01:24:46,823 --> 01:24:49,389 Oh, but Sheila lost her tongue tragically 1686 01:24:49,391 --> 01:24:54,163 to a very small but ferocious red-crested wombat. 1687 01:24:55,330 --> 01:24:56,865 God bless her soul. 1688 01:24:57,667 --> 01:24:59,867 Shame. 1689 01:24:59,869 --> 01:25:02,538 She can sign, though. Can't you, Sheila? 1690 01:25:04,205 --> 01:25:05,842 Yes. 1691 01:25:06,609 --> 01:25:08,111 Yes, she can. 1692 01:25:13,949 --> 01:25:16,416 - Okey-dokey. - Yoh. Okay, okay. 1693 01:25:16,418 --> 01:25:17,550 What's she saying? 1694 01:25:17,552 --> 01:25:18,618 Okey-dokey. 1695 01:25:18,620 --> 01:25:20,286 She says, everyone, please, 1696 01:25:20,288 --> 01:25:24,224 up to the house and please enjoy some of her ice cream. 1697 01:25:24,226 --> 01:25:25,425 That's right, ladies and gentlemen. 1698 01:25:25,427 --> 01:25:26,593 Who likes ice cream? 1699 01:25:26,595 --> 01:25:27,862 I scream, you scream. 1700 01:25:27,864 --> 01:25:29,929 Everybody follow me, ladies and gentlemen. 1701 01:25:29,931 --> 01:25:31,799 We're headin' up this stone path, right here. 1702 01:25:31,801 --> 01:25:33,000 Cathy, take this. 1703 01:25:33,002 --> 01:25:34,902 Everybody, look at Cathy. She's the alpha dog. 1704 01:25:34,904 --> 01:25:37,237 I want you to follow her all the way up. 1705 01:25:37,239 --> 01:25:39,540 Keep going! At the top, you're gonna find a little penguin man. 1706 01:25:39,542 --> 01:25:41,309 He's gonna spark the fuse on the barbecue, baby, 1707 01:25:41,311 --> 01:25:43,876 'cause we're havin' red meat, baby! 1708 01:25:55,925 --> 01:25:58,725 This year I made $6 million. 1709 01:25:58,727 --> 01:26:00,126 So far. 1710 01:26:00,128 --> 01:26:01,296 Impressive. 1711 01:26:01,997 --> 01:26:03,464 How irritating. 1712 01:26:03,466 --> 01:26:06,500 But together, we could make so much more. 1713 01:26:06,502 --> 01:26:08,835 So much more. 1714 01:26:08,837 --> 01:26:12,104 You guys are fantastic at what you do. 1715 01:26:12,106 --> 01:26:15,075 My nana would absolutely love you. 1716 01:26:15,077 --> 01:26:16,943 The three of us... 1717 01:26:16,945 --> 01:26:18,980 that'd be one hell of a team. 1718 01:26:26,154 --> 01:26:27,520 You played me. 1719 01:26:27,522 --> 01:26:32,095 Penny, the only thing I never lied about was you. 1720 01:26:43,506 --> 01:26:44,606 Listen... 1721 01:26:46,109 --> 01:26:48,175 First million pays us back. 1722 01:26:48,177 --> 01:26:50,611 The second million will be your apology. 1723 01:26:50,613 --> 01:26:53,045 Yeah, and if you ever double-cross us again, 1724 01:26:53,047 --> 01:26:55,816 I withhold sex for a whole year. 1725 01:26:55,818 --> 01:26:57,017 Or six months. 1726 01:26:57,019 --> 01:26:59,886 No, let's go with 24 hours. 1727 01:26:59,888 --> 01:27:01,287 For like... 1728 01:27:01,289 --> 01:27:04,858 Until midmorning, I will not be open as a shop. 1729 01:27:04,860 --> 01:27:06,160 - You done? - Okay. 1730 01:27:06,162 --> 01:27:08,062 So don't cross us ever again. 1731 01:27:08,064 --> 01:27:09,496 Deal. 1732 01:27:09,498 --> 01:27:11,801 So, are we doin' this? 1733 01:27:21,244 --> 01:27:22,977 Come on! They went down this way. 1734 01:27:22,979 --> 01:27:23,980 Hurry up! 1735 01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:34,353 Damn it! We lost them. 1736 01:27:34,355 --> 01:27:36,523 How could you lose them? 1737 01:27:36,525 --> 01:27:39,192 How could you give 'em £200,000? 1738 01:27:39,194 --> 01:27:42,028 Uh, designer nipples are not cheap. 1739 01:27:42,030 --> 01:27:44,031 Plus, that's like 500 American dollars. 1740 01:27:44,033 --> 01:27:46,767 - It really isn't. - Hey! Hey, buddy! 1741 01:27:46,769 --> 01:27:49,102 Did you see two women run by here a minute ago? 1742 01:27:49,104 --> 01:27:52,673 Oh, uh, yeah, with massive wads of cash? 1743 01:27:52,675 --> 01:27:53,773 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1744 01:27:53,775 --> 01:27:55,041 Uh, they ran that way. 1745 01:27:55,043 --> 01:27:56,742 Well, let's go! 1746 01:27:56,744 --> 01:27:59,414 Come on! Radio for backup or somethin'. 1747 01:28:10,359 --> 01:28:13,129 Lucky Christmas dress, you did it again. 1748 01:28:16,464 --> 01:28:18,564 I must say, Penny, 1749 01:28:18,566 --> 01:28:21,270 these outfits are terribly clever. 1750 01:28:22,604 --> 01:28:24,006 Old but gold. 1751 01:28:25,941 --> 01:28:28,242 Happy Christmas. 1752 01:28:28,244 --> 01:28:29,542 Thomas, I got you a present. 1753 01:28:29,544 --> 01:28:30,777 Thank you, Santa. 1754 01:28:30,779 --> 01:28:32,447 Oh, I'm still here. 1755 01:32:03,624 --> 01:32:05,925 Hortense, is that what that's used for? 1756 01:32:05,927 --> 01:32:07,794 I don't see any butter on that knife. 1757 01:32:07,796 --> 01:32:10,796 Now, Enrique, you were saying that even though you yourself 1758 01:32:10,798 --> 01:32:13,832 have benefited economically from immigrating to America, 1759 01:32:13,834 --> 01:32:16,169 you don't feel any additional Guatemalans 1760 01:32:16,171 --> 01:32:17,703 should be allowed into Palm Beach? 1761 01:32:17,705 --> 01:32:20,473 Yes, I believe we're at the tipping point in this moment... 1762 01:32:20,475 --> 01:32:22,276 What ist thou looking at? 1763 01:32:22,278 --> 01:32:24,644 Stop skulking in the corner. 1764 01:32:24,646 --> 01:32:27,980 Thy had thy hand on Rosalind's bosom! 1765 01:32:27,982 --> 01:32:29,515 Dost thou deny it? 1766 01:32:29,517 --> 01:32:31,684 Oh, sweet Hortense had her suitor's body exhumed 1767 01:32:31,686 --> 01:32:33,521 the day after he was trampled. 1768 01:32:34,221 --> 01:32:35,721 It's folly, though. 1769 01:32:35,723 --> 01:32:37,323 The family will never accept him. 1770 01:32:37,325 --> 01:32:39,392 You just don't like him because he's black. 1771 01:32:39,394 --> 01:32:42,161 Sister, may I please sing my song now? 1772 01:32:42,163 --> 01:32:43,830 Ooh, yes, of course, darling, of course. 1773 01:32:43,832 --> 01:32:46,698 Hortense has written a song to celebrate our engagement. 1774 01:32:46,700 --> 01:32:48,301 Isn't that marvelous? 1775 01:32:48,303 --> 01:32:50,103 No, wait, I wanted the lute. 1776 01:32:50,105 --> 01:32:51,705 It is the lute. 1777 01:32:51,707 --> 01:32:52,708 Hmm. 1778 01:32:55,043 --> 01:32:58,647 All right, this is a Hortense original. 1779 01:33:08,422 --> 01:33:09,522 ♪ Wedding! ♪ 1780 01:33:13,328 --> 01:33:14,330 ♪ Death! ♪ 1781 01:33:17,865 --> 01:33:20,802 She had the finest tutors, but you can't teach talent. 1782 01:33:22,704 --> 01:33:24,205 Bon appetit! 1783 01:33:25,424 --> 01:33:30,424 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org