1
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:34,177
I think you have the wrong room.

2
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,096
That, sir, is my wife.

3
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,730
Uh-huh, I must apologise.

4
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:45,189
Nothing in her conduct made me think she'd
ever been satisfied before.

5
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,784
A-ha.

6
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,708
Gentlemen.

7
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:03,876
We are here to honour our friend,
Henry Sebastian Aldershot,

8
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,090
Seventh Duke of Carlisle,

9
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,514
known to us as Lord Riot.

10
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:18,222
<i>The best scholar
at the world's greatest university.</i>

11
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:24,020
<i>He did nothing without joy,</i>

12
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,063
<i>and everything to excess.</i>

13
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:33,283
Wingspan! This is, gentlemen, key.

14
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,457
<i>A true hedonist,
who dazzled us with debauchery.</i>

15
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,588
<i>His appetites knew no earthly bounds.</i>

16
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:49,216
<i>No man was better loved by all he met,</i>

17
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:55,180
<i>nor gave his time more generously.</i>

18
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,101
Get down, get down!

19
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,144
<i>We thought to see him
Lord Chief Justice one day.</i>

20
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:07,272
<i>But you live by the sword,
you die by the sword.</i>

21
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,608
<i>And, friends, Lord Riot died this morning.</i>

22
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,493
- Legend.
- Mmm.

23
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,289
He will not be forgotten.

24
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,620
- He will not.
- Ever.

25
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,170
We will gather the brightest,

26
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,998
the boldest and the best

27
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:30,587
to eat till we are sick at
the full table of life,

28
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,131
and never to fade from glory.

29
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:40,308
And we will call ourselves

30
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,349
the Riot Club.

31
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,275
The Riot Club!

32
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,847
- I am an alumnus of this college...
- I'm terribly sorry, sir.

33
00:04:19,885 --> 00:04:22,308
- Dad, the other one's fine.
- That room is minute.

34
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,518
- You couldn't swing a kitten.
- Mum...

35
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,942
Let Daddy sort it out, Alistair.

36
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,528
I'm sorry, I think this is me.

37
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:32,861
This was my room, and
my elder son's room till last year...

38
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,441
I don't mind swapping,

39
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,947
if this one has sentimental value.

40
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,114
There we are. Isn't that nice, Alistair?

41
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:51,129
- Well, it's very decent of you.
- No worries.

42
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,210
Follow me, then.

43
00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,597
What if I don't want Seb's old room?

44
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,267
Your brother was top dog in this college

45
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,065
and you want to live in a rabbit hutch?

46
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,230
Just on the left here.

47
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,741
And it's that one there.

48
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,112
You'll find it hasn't got a Jacuzzi.

49
00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:21,913
I'm sure it's fine.

50
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,585
Oh, shit!

51
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,427
We used to make things up there,
now we just sell things.

52
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,556
<i>But don't businesses sink or</i> swim,
<i>if an industry's become untenable?</i>

53
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,015
So why did we bail out the banks, then?

54
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,938
It's different, isn't it?

55
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,691
- You're talking about manufacturing...
- Oh, do you want some?

56
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,687
- Sorry, I'm Lauren.
- Miles.

57
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:58,033
- They're serving champagne?
- No, I brought it.

58
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,281
I thought, you know, big day.

59
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,620
What, is it plonk?

60
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,035
No, no, it's lovely.

61
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:13,882
Mate, I'm sorry you ended up
in the prison block...

62
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,550
- Ah...
- My father is...

63
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,753
- Are you in the new building?
- Yeah.

64
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,717
I'm in the new building.

65
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:23,972
Actually, the New Building
is the Palladian style one

66
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,145
they built in the 1700s next to the chapel.

67
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,138
There weren't any girls
at your school, were there?

68
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,939
Don't worry, they're just
like us, but cleverer.

69
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,359
Nice cape, by the way.

70
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,190
Thanks.

71
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,401
- Versace.
- Is it now?

72
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,578
- Mm-hm.
- Oh, I could tell.

73
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,623
Oh, the innocence.

74
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:53,585
Is my gown inside out, am I brighter,
sexier, funnier than I was at school?

75
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,631
You were a fresher once.

76
00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:01,096
- Care to join me in a game of Spot the Virgin?
- Too easy.

77
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,596
It'll be a damn sight harder by tomorrow.

78
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,611
- Amazing up here, isn't it?
- Mmm.

79
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,413
I swear, being in Oxford, it's...

80
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,789
It's like being invited to 100 parties,
all at once.

81
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,916
And I wanna go to all of them, you know?

82
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,168
Yeah.

83
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,510
I mean, look at this.

84
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,222
We are so lucky.

85
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,928
My dad cried, you know, when I told him
I got into Oxford.

86
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,641
Maybe it was just the tuition fees.

87
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:01,440
See, my dad would've cried
if I hadn't got into Oxford.

88
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,571
My whole family come here.

89
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,413
My little brother, he's
13 and he can't wait.

90
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:14,127
Miles, are you posh?

91
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,091
Just normal.

92
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,385
You've got quite a posh name.

93
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,096
Miles Davis.

94
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,766
My parents were listening
to <i>Kind</i> of Blue when I was conceived.

95
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,975
Good job my parents didn't do that,
they'd have named me Gary Barlow.

96
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,447
- So where did you go to school?
- Uh, Westminster.

97
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,284
Oh, so not posh at all, then.

98
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,423
I've got a bottle of
tequila back in my room

99
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,761
if you wanted to come back after...

100
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:17,979
Let's not spend three years avoiding
the person we shagged in Freshers' Week.

101
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,161
Lady Marmalade.

102
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,115
Oh, I know. Look at you. I know.

103
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,376
It's not long, I'll be back for Christmas.

104
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,920
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Mummy. There you are.

105
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,588
- Bye, Mummy.
- Bye, darling.

106
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,303
- Balfour, let me give you a hand there.
- Oh, thanks, mate, hello there.

107
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,556
- Back to school, isn't it? Thanks ever so.
- Yeah.

108
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:56,764
Listen, Balfour, am I right in thinking
you might be a member of the Riot Club?

109
00:09:56,846 --> 00:10:00,316
Well, you know, not supposed to say really,

110
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,977
cloak and dagger, and all that.

111
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,362
Yeah, well, it's just...

112
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:08,533
I was wondering how I might
go about applying for membership.

113
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,567
Yes.

114
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,205
Um, the thing is...

115
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:18,331
And I'm terribly sorry about
this, but I'm afraid if you've got to ask,

116
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:21,212
you're not really the right sort of chap.

117
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,540
Right.

118
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,677
Guard, ready. Fence.

119
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,257
Come on.

120
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,897
- Darling.
- Does this hurt?

121
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,231
Gosh, is he OK?

122
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,828
You have no difficulties
with the time frame?

123
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,246
None, absolutely none.

124
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,330
And I'm keen to start an internship straight
after my finals, don't need a holiday.

125
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:03,414
You're not the son of Jonty
Leighton-Masters, are you?

126
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,423
My father casts rather a long shadow.

127
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,089
I want to strike out on my own,
start at the bottom somewhere.

128
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,926
I'm just very passionate

129
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:15,933
about corporate finance.

130
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,025
Good luck, guys.

131
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,445
Mate, club meeting.
Can you do the pub tonight at, urn...

132
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,651
- Oh, yeah.
- What are you doing?

133
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,576
Sort of a post-match debrief.

134
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,284
<i>Right. OK, 7:30, pub, can you do it?</i>

135
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,120
I'll be there.

136
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,500
I just find it really annoying when people
ask me what school I went to.

137
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,174
- Yeah. Oh, I hate it.
- I know, I hate it. Yeah, so much.

138
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,717
Which school did you go to?

139
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,679
I just went to a normal school in Cardiff.

140
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,553
- Oh, I've been to Cardiff.
- Oh, fantastic.

141
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,009
I love the Welsh.

142
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,350
- Where did you guys go?
- Eton.

143
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,566
Oh, oh my God, oh my God!

144
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:12,400
Um, OK, how do you make an Eton Mess?

145
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:17,237
Tell him he only got into Bristol.

146
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,822
My best friend's at Bristol.

147
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,917
It's a very good university.

148
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,039
Hmm.

149
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:29,250
Uh, so I've... OK.

150
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,012
- Anyway, why didn't you get a Lamborghini?
- I'm not...

151
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,427
Mate, he's Greek,
he's doing austerity measures.

152
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:43,138
- This is a beautiful British car.
- Poop poop!

153
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,227
OK, guys, so we got Club dinner coming up.

154
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,853
- Kidney, Leighton?
- No, thanks.

155
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:52,364
Um, and as you know, I'm working on a venue
that can meet our special requirements.

156
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:53,860
Somewhere we haven't
already been banned from.

157
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,908
Obviously, yeah, but I need you
guys to get on with...

158
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,361
- Chaps, squid?
- Here you go!

159
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,700
- Mate, that's fucking rank.
- It's delicious.

160
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,705
So Ed got totally rinsed.

161
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,037
- Guys, this is important.
- What am I doing wrong?

162
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,668
Been on a hosepipe ban all summer.

163
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,875
Maybe if you didn't shark them together
like a couple of schweffes.

164
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:10,582
I haven't had so little sex
since boarding school.

165
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,258
You had more sex at boarding school.

166
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,052
OK, hands up, who did fuck-all work
over the vac?

167
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,713
Tubes, you worked?

168
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:21,510
Fucking jurisprudence essay,
Dad breathing down my neck.

169
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,973
If I don't get a 2:1...

170
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,644
- Ooh!
- Harsh.

171
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,021
Touché.

172
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,651
Chaps, this is a meeting.

173
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,697
Are we having elections next term?
For the presidency?

174
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:34,982
Bell-end, you want to be President?

175
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,566
Come on, I'd be awesome.

176
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,526
You'd be gash.

177
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,329
If we don't get any new members,
won't be anything to be President of.

178
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,660
With Sebbers and Gooder leaving last term,
we're down to eight.

179
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,868
Don't we have to have 10?

180
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,581
Hence the meeting.

181
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:52,632
Operation Grasshopper. OK. So,
does anyone have any nominations?

182
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,430
The dinner's closer than you think, guys.
We've got to start initiations, yeah?

183
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:02,513
May I say this is an opportunity to reconsider
the sort of person we're approaching,

184
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,936
really make sure they're
the best and the brightest?

185
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,389
- You mean the prettiest.
- I meant fine minds.

186
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,273
- Kidney, Hugo?
- You see?

187
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,771
Oh, my God, that one last year.

188
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,088
- Gay Harry Potter.
- Yeah.

189
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,945
Harry Potter is gay.
He's clearly porking Weasley.

190
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:19,113
Guys! Are we seriously going to be
the only year that couldn't get 10 members?

191
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,786
We're going down in history for that?

192
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:28,035
Did they go to a good school?
Eton, St Paul's, Westminster,

193
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,791
Harrow, if you have to.

194
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,793
And when push comes to shove,

195
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:35,925
do they have it in them
to be a fucking legend?

196
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,965
You'll know it when you see it.

197
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,183
Who's gonna get it?

198
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,860
Come on, come on!

199
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,506
Don't scream, don't look at me.

200
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,754
Put in the PIN number and take out 200.

201
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,137
Come on, put in the fuckin' PIN number!

202
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,943
It's actually just "PIN".

203
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:41,858
What?

204
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:47,038
The N stands for number,
it's Personal Identification Number.

205
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:51,831
So, if you say "PIN number",
you're saying "number" twice.

206
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,542
You're saying "Personal Identification
Number number".

207
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,714
It's just wrong!

208
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,508
- Think you're fucking clever?
- Jesus, please...

209
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,468
Shut it, you posh twat.

210
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,300
You pompous little prick.

211
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,864
You OK, mate?

212
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:30,832
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Fuck, what happened to your face?

213
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,087
Got mugged.

214
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,878
- Hard luck, mate.
- Look, I'm fine.

215
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:44,046
- I'm fine. It doesn't matter.
- No, mate.

216
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,048
Come on.

217
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,387
What absolute wankers.

218
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,930
Get a job, yeah?

219
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:59,152
Shouldn't give you this,
you've probably got a concussion.

220
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,821
Do you know your name and everything?

221
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,274
Alistair Ryle.

222
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,699
- Not related to Sebastian Ryle?
- Yeah, my brother.

223
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,748
Fuck, you're Sebbers' brother? Oh, my wow!

224
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:15,456
- How come I didn't know you at Eton?
- I was at Harrow.

225
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,211
Ah, well, can't have everything.

226
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,711
Good to meet you.

227
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:31,517
Whoo!

228
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,139
I say! You ladies need a lift?

229
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,897
- Guys, this is Sebbers' little brother.
- No jokes!

230
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,649
- Hi.
- Hi. Bellingfield.

231
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:42,774
I'm Toby.

232
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,486
Your brother was, like,
the best Riot Club president ever.

233
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,196
Oh, my God, Sebbers was a legend.

234
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,889
How's he doing at Deutsche Bank?

235
00:17:49,944 --> 00:17:51,992
Uh, uh, they let him go, actually.

236
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,073
- What?
- Yeah, last in first out, so...

237
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,624
Fuck, what's he doing now?

238
00:17:56,325 --> 00:18:00,922
Uh, says he's going to buy an Airstream,
big old silver caravan thing,

239
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,841
start a business doing street food
at festivals and shit.

240
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,174
You know, "Really good burgers"?

241
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,679
Mate, get in.

242
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,683
What the fuck happened to your face?

243
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,517
- Hi.
- Hey.

244
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:05,820
Did you ask for an upgrade?

245
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:09,570
I'm skint.
My tutor's paying me to type his book up.

246
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,530
I've got so much to do.

247
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,697
Can I help?

248
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:47,778
We really shouldn't be doing this.

249
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,086
Mate, what the fuck
was going on in that place tonight?

250
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,721
You can't dance for shit.

251
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,675
Good morning, Oxford!

252
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,765
- Someone put Tubes to bed, yeah?
- How about a sleep?

253
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:21,975
Nice bit of Bedfordshire.

254
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:25,437
The Duke of Bedfordshire!

255
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,818
- I'm the king of the car!
- Whoa!

256
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,147
You're magnificent, now sit down.

257
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,403
Jesus fuck!

258
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,244
Not on my coat!

259
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,788
Oh, bail out!

260
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,790
Oh, that fucking, oh, my God...

261
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,747
Ugh!

262
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,794
That is hanging.

263
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,880
- Sorry.
- Is it on my hair?

264
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,175
- Bit of a chunderstorm...
- Oh!

265
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,840
Come on, mate...

266
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,933
Fuck it. Ashtray was full anyway.

267
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,719
Thanks, Bell-end.

268
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,026
Mate, the homeless can't drive.

269
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,648
Pudding.

270
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,988
No, dessert.

271
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,827
Toilet.

272
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,238
Toilet?

273
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,369
Loo.

274
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:27,086
This office is mental.

275
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,591
There are some rooms here, you think,

276
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:37,046
"This is too Oxford even for Oxford",
you know what I mean?

277
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,389
Oh, napkin.

278
00:21:42,468 --> 00:21:44,266
You say "napkin"?

279
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:47,599
No, you say "napkin". We say "serviette".

280
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,400
Dick.

281
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,326
Yeah. "Dick".

282
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,205
Big night last night?

283
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:14,834
The usual.

284
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,674
Yeah, I didn't sleep much either.

285
00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,893
Good morning.

286
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,513
Please, take a seat.

287
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,836
I won't be interested in excuses
about not having done it

288
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,437
because you're in the college play.

289
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:34,441
If you don't bring an <i>essay</i>
worthy of discussion each week,

290
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,114
you let your partner down
<i>as</i> well as yourself.

291
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:40,443
Your job is to provoke him,

292
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:44,121
challenge him to be more rigorous,
examine every thought.

293
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:46,790
Any questions?

294
00:22:49,285 --> 00:22:51,583
Do we need to like each other?

295
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:56,792
Pull!

296
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,962
Good shot.

297
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:02,260
How do you bear it, all these tourists?

298
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:05,017
Oh, couldn't afford to get the roof fixed
if they didn't come.

299
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:06,093
Pull!

300
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,306
It's always the roof.
No point getting misty about it.

301
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,142
Our roof's got holes you could fire
a cow through.

302
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,317
Pull!

303
00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:17,397
Arse biscuits!

304
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:19,902
John Senior Sergeant over here.

305
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:22,485
Which is absolutely beautiful for context.

306
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:25,117
And there's also a Van Dyck up here.

307
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,913
Uh, sorry, sir, you can't go through there.

308
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,258
You're him.

309
00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:45,012
God, I'm so sorry.

310
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:48,344
No harm done, Kerry.

311
00:23:54,850 --> 00:23:57,069
And the, uh, Van Dyck which is

312
00:23:58,395 --> 00:23:59,863
a very nice piece.

313
00:23:59,897 --> 00:24:04,198
So this my great-great-great grandfather
who was at the first ever club dinner.

314
00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,486
Oh!

315
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,538
And this

316
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,034
is Lord Riot himself.

317
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:15,046
Total fucking legend,
that's what you say, isn't it?

318
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,540
Ryle, this is my uncle Jeremy.

319
00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:22,629
Uncle Jezza was Riot Club President
back in the what, 1850s?

320
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:23,712
Little shit.

321
00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:27,050
- Pretty much runs the country now.
- Well, just the party.

322
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:30,602
- Balfour, still bowling under arm?
- Working on it.

323
00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:33,022
- How d'you do?
- Alistair Ryle

324
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,729
See you all for dinner. Beef, I think.

325
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,033
Shall we get the PlayStation out, Villiers?

326
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,535
What, so I can whoop your arse again?

327
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:49,287
We woke up the next day in Vienna.

328
00:24:49,363 --> 00:24:53,084
Passed out face down in a box of marzipan.

329
00:24:56,036 --> 00:24:58,380
That was one of
our quieter dinners.

330
00:24:58,414 --> 00:25:01,634
When, um, when my father was at Oxford,

331
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:05,509
the Riot set off a box of fireworks
in the Randolph Hotel.

332
00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,260
- Oh, dear.
- Classic.

333
00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:10,927
Different times. Well, you wouldn't fuck
about like that now, would you?

334
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,512
No, of course not.

335
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:14,767
Can't have anything else in the papers.

336
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:18,522
Nazi shit storm over student conservatives
was bad enough.

337
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,977
Children playing politics.

338
00:25:21,562 --> 00:25:23,940
Are you not a fan of Port and Policy Night?

339
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:27,653
Full of twats who think it's a free pass
into the cabinet.

340
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:33,449
Local councillors of the future.
Well, good night, all.

341
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:38,412
- You sorry bunch.
- Night, Jezza.

342
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:43,050
Hello, doggles!

343
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:44,547
Yes, hello.

344
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:45,798
Come on, up you come.

345
00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:52,678
You know what Jezza told me? Back in the 80s
they used to hire a girl for the dinner.

346
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:55,725
- A girl?
- Prozzer.

347
00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:57,932
Put her under the table,
went round one at a time.

348
00:25:58,891 --> 00:25:59,938
Huh.

349
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,023
Don't listen. Horrid boys.

350
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:06,157
So, we're at the top university
in the world, yeah?

351
00:26:06,190 --> 00:26:07,442
Arguably.

352
00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:10,157
And so are 20,000 other people.

353
00:26:10,194 --> 00:26:13,539
But there are no more
than 10 in the Riot Club.

354
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:14,991
The top 10.

355
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:22,923
If you'd like, I could speak to Leighton.

356
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,505
I'll nominate you.

357
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:42,018
Best not tell Mum about that.
Uh, George IV, I think.

358
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,811
Whoops!

359
00:26:48,690 --> 00:26:50,192
That's the college rowing team.

360
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:54,155
When they hear this song, they have to down
their drinks and take off all their clothes.

361
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:57,325
Do you not think they've noticed
it's massively homoerotic?

362
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,087
I've heard the Riot Club have an initiation

363
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:04,290
where you pour a whole bottle of champagne
over your head.

364
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:05,920
Oh, brilliant.

365
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:09,003
I think I'd rather drink it.

366
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,797
Right. Anyone? Lauren, drinks?

367
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,258
Oh, um, I think we're just buying our own.

368
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:16,560
Oh, yeah, sure. Cool.

369
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:32,034
We do it with port, actually, not
champagne. It's more visceral.

370
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:35,279
In the Riot Club?

371
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:37,910
Miles, isn't it?

372
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,914
The school plays?

373
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,747
My Richard lll was quite something.

374
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:49,210
Oh, my God. You're the guy
who used to improvise limericks in Latin.

375
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:51,253
And get bogwashed for it.

376
00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:56,054
You look, um, you look different.

377
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,095
Hugo.

378
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:04,103
- It's Hugo.
- I did remember.

379
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,356
You didn't. It's fine.

380
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:08,733
Cigarette?

381
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:12,615
After you.

382
00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:23,419
Oh, everything you see
is begged and borrowed.

383
00:28:23,452 --> 00:28:26,376
I'm very much the ragged end of the gentry.

384
00:28:34,421 --> 00:28:36,139
So, I must ask,

385
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:41,221
what's a nice Westminster boy like you doing
with all those boot-strappy regionals?

386
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:45,019
I don't know, Lauren's cool, so...

387
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:49,069
Well, you know what they say,
girls for now, girls for later.

388
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:56,568
So...

389
00:28:57,569 --> 00:28:58,946
The Club...

390
00:29:01,531 --> 00:29:05,161
The Riot Club connects me to hundreds
of years of history.

391
00:29:05,202 --> 00:29:08,046
The dinner is debauchery raised to an art,

392
00:29:09,331 --> 00:29:12,255
almost spiritual.

393
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,212
Something is released.

394
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:21,679
Do you know there are some people
who think they're here to get a degree?

395
00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:43,707
Yeah, listen.
Could you stop flirting with me, please?

396
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:44,908
Oh, really?

397
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,378
Go on, then.

398
00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:15,397
Help...

399
00:30:16,231 --> 00:30:17,232
Off we go!

400
00:30:17,566 --> 00:30:20,240
I've got the money for those fines.
I will be back very shortly.

401
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:28,460
Maestro!

402
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:32,581
Ugh!

403
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:38,879
Shit!

404
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:52,401
Straight,
straight, straight.

405
00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:06,289
Oh!

406
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,955
Chateau Petrus, 1976.

407
00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:46,868
What is the correct way to eat ortolan?

408
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,915
Which is bigger, a Mordechai
or a Methuselah?

409
00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:50,583
What is a Roman shower?

410
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:55,005
Which happens first, the Cheltenham
Gold Cup or the Grand National?

411
00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:59,255
What did Disraeli do three times
and Gladstone four?

412
00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:01,587
What does a coprophagic like to do?

413
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:03,968
How did Edward ll die?

414
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:08,181
Which is oldest, Trinity College Cambridge
or Trinity College Oxford?

415
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:10,854
Don't answer yet. Go, go, go!

416
00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,525
- Come on!
- OK

417
00:32:18,228 --> 00:32:20,196
What is the answer to question five?

418
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,991
- Chancellor of the Exchequer.
- Oh, yeah!

419
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,449
Forty seconds!

420
00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:30,533
- Answer in the right order.
- Yes.

421
00:32:30,574 --> 00:32:32,872
Ortolan, eat it with a
napkin over your head.

422
00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:34,749
- Come on, mate, think!
- Mordechai.

423
00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:36,580
- Getting someone to vomit on you.
- Whoa! Whoo!

424
00:32:36,663 --> 00:32:38,836
Cheltenham Gold Cup.

425
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:41,218
- Chancellor of the Exchequer.
- Yeah!

426
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:45,134
Shit! They do they...
They like to eat shit.

427
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,183
- Red hot poker up the arse.
- Come on, mate!

428
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:50,890
- And, uh...
- Ten seconds!

429
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,680
- Trinity College, Cambridge.
- Yes!

430
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:55,891
By nine years.

431
00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:58,772
That was actually remarkably good.

432
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,247
I feel polluted. Those guys are hard-core.
It was total carnage.

433
00:33:11,865 --> 00:33:14,414
Are you sure you want to be in this thing?

434
00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:18,957
Yeah, it's actually kind of an honour
to be asked, if they want me.

435
00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:21,838
You don't even know yet?

436
00:33:21,917 --> 00:33:24,545
Well, apparently, I'll be sent a sign.

437
00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:26,592
Here.

438
00:33:26,671 --> 00:33:28,673
Well, just sip it.

439
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,851
Oh, I saw your post.

440
00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:35,438
The Honourable Miles Richards?

441
00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:39,101
You're an "Honourable"?

442
00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:46,404
It's just a historical thing,

443
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:48,489
it doesn't mean anything.

444
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,828
God, are you sure you wouldn't prefer

445
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:58,458
one of those rah girls with all the hair?

446
00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:02,666
Listen.

447
00:34:06,002 --> 00:34:08,300
I've been out with those girls.

448
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:13,386
And you are so much better.

449
00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,222
- Hmm.
- You're gorgeous.

450
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,353
Everything you've just said is bollocks.

451
00:34:20,016 --> 00:34:22,018
Or to put it another way?

452
00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:24,355
Woolly liberal bollocks.

453
00:34:24,854 --> 00:34:28,779
Sorry, but calling the Beveridge Report
"a wholly positive force"...

454
00:34:28,817 --> 00:34:33,994
The NHS and the welfare state were founded
on the post-war re-evaluation of society.

455
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:37,079
Which your essay suggests
is some kind of socialist utopia!

456
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:40,628
I'm just saying, the culture
of dependency it fostered...

457
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:43,381
Fostered moral citizenship!

458
00:34:43,456 --> 00:34:45,709
Forcing people to pay
for other people's bad choices.

459
00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,385
- Or bad luck!
- Gentlemen!

460
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:51,340
May I suggest, we're straying
into subjective territory.

461
00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:55,056
I'm much less interested in your opinions
than I am in intellectual rigour.

462
00:34:55,135 --> 00:34:57,354
We're historians. Not guests on Newsnight.

463
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:16,369
Welcome to the Riot Club.

464
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,705
You fuckers.

465
00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:22,207
You total fuckers.

466
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:27,214
We aim to please.

467
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:30,717
Hope you weren't too attached
to your, um, everything.

468
00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:40,351
- Shit! Oh, fuck!
- Miles?

469
00:35:41,765 --> 00:35:44,894
- Oh, my God, have you been burgled?
- No, it's...

470
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:48,442
Your laptop!

471
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:50,823
Oh...

472
00:35:54,527 --> 00:35:57,656
Well, I think this means I'm in.

473
00:35:57,739 --> 00:36:00,538
This is what they do to people they like?

474
00:36:01,618 --> 00:36:04,167
No, I'm just going to clear it up.

475
00:36:04,245 --> 00:36:06,418
Oh, come on, it's just a bit of fun.

476
00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:09,551
- It's tradition.
- These people are not your friends.

477
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:12,087
- Oh, for fuck's sake, Lauren!
- What?

478
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:16,599
Well, maybe, you don't like it
cos you don't get to do it.

479
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:24,149
Fuck! Look, I'm sorry! Lauren!

480
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:29,771
Jesus.

481
00:36:30,230 --> 00:36:32,608
I just wish I knew whose jizz it was-.

482
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,820
Well, it's one for all and all for one.

483
00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:39,907
So, in a way, it's everyone's jizz.

484
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:42,952
Great, so, you did Bukkake on my room.

485
00:36:51,793 --> 00:36:53,386
Proper Riot boy.

486
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,429
Here.

487
00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:06,645
It's actually really hard to get off.
Paper's porous.

488
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:10,070
You know, in a few years' time, these
boys will be behind some very big desks,

489
00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:11,897
important desks.

490
00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,357
You <i>as</i> well.

491
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:19,823
College is the last time we get to disport
ourselves without anyone watching.

492
00:37:19,904 --> 00:37:23,204
Let's not waste it by being squeamish.

493
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:03,164
Looks great. Looks classy.

494
00:38:04,199 --> 00:38:07,453
It's a ruby wedding party, Dad,
I don't know if they want classy.

495
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,788
No, this is the Young Entrepreneurs.

496
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:11,669
- Students? All this?
- Hmm.

497
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:15,423
Wealthy kids, wealthy parents.

498
00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:17,379
This is a fine dining market.

499
00:38:17,420 --> 00:38:21,345
Yeah, we're a pub, not a Michelin Star.

500
00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:24,932
And do you know how many pubs
are closing every week in this country?

501
00:38:25,428 --> 00:38:27,977
Helen, they need forks
as well as spoons for dessert,

502
00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:29,729
they're not having Fruit Corners.

503
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:33,858
Posh people say "pudding", Dad,
not "dessert".

504
00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:36,569
No they don't, do they?

505
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:42,908
- Where did you learn that?
- University?

506
00:38:44,405 --> 00:38:45,907
Must have been.

507
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,502
Don't drink until the president
<i>says</i> you can.

508
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:50,578
OK.

509
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:54,292
And absolutely no talk
of religion or politics.

510
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:59,304
- Is it always this far away?
- Oh, we're banned from anywhere closer.

511
00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:04,601
And the menu is all, like, breast
of chicken wrapped in boring,

512
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:07,103
so I said to Leighton,
"Mate, let me go off-piste,

513
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:09,397
"organise something awesome."

514
00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:11,607
It's great President material.

515
00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:14,106
Fuck, is this restaurant in Wales?

516
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:20,200
- Better start my campaign, then.
- You?

517
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:22,494
Election's next term, isn't it?

518
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:26,179
What, you think I wouldn't be good?

519
00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:29,910
Just didn't think you'd
be going for President.

520
00:39:30,451 --> 00:39:32,453
Is it because I is Greek?

521
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,301
Jesus, Bellingfield,
it's because I'm Greek?

522
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:41,383
No! No, mate, come on.

523
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:43,806
- Mate, how long have we been friends?
- Since the first day of school.

524
00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,556
And you think I couldn't be
President because I'm Greek?

525
00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:53,817
Oh, my...

526
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,020
Wow!

527
00:39:58,313 --> 00:40:00,486
Hi! George Balfour. Have you...

528
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,283
Is this the 60-80?

529
00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:06,321
<i>Boom! Fucking Reservoir Dogs!</i>

530
00:40:08,323 --> 00:40:10,200
- Evening, chaps.
- Hello, mate.

531
00:40:12,702 --> 00:40:15,501
- What the fuck?
- Mate?

532
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:19,210
- My fucking tute partner.
- Oh, classic.

533
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:21,593
- So, Milo?
- Hmm.

534
00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:24,923
Do you know, I don't think I know
a single person called Lauren.

535
00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:26,383
Prolier than thou.

536
00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:28,514
- Lauren what, Lauren who?
- Lauren Small.

537
00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:30,766
- Oh, small, is she?
- Not where it matters.

538
00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:33,439
Actually, she's, she's nice.

539
00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:37,061
Fuck, I thought you were
just being a sex tourist.

540
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:38,986
Well, what's the point of college
if you can't experiment?

541
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,398
What, you mean "girls for now,
girls for later“?

542
00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:45,990
Yeah, you'll learn, mate.
Girls are for gays.

543
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,366
- Oh, look, it's bloody Leighton!
- Yes, sorry, sorry.

544
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:52,951
Did you get held up at the nail bar?

545
00:40:53,034 --> 00:40:55,207
Start the party. I am thirsty.

546
00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:57,042
- Showtime, Balf!
- Oh! Oh.

547
00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,464
Oh, uh, duty calls.

548
00:40:58,539 --> 00:41:00,382
Bloody nice to meet you.

549
00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:03,712
- Oh, and, uh, good luck with the llamas.
- Oh, thank you.

550
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,380
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

551
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:09,092
Ready?

552
00:41:13,888 --> 00:41:16,562
All right, nice and
still, please, gents.

553
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:45,594
Ah!

554
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:47,638
Evening, gentlemen. Please do come through.

555
00:41:47,714 --> 00:41:49,307
Thanks very much.

556
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:53,353
Thought you'd be in business <i>suits,</i>
more of a pinstripe thing.

557
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:56,022
- I'm sorry?
- Young Entrepreneurs Club.

558
00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:59,567
- I'm sorry?
- Young Entrepreneurs Club.

559
00:42:00,893 --> 00:42:04,113
Oh, yes, um, it's, uh, it's a retro night!

560
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:18,874
OK, we've got three soups...

561
00:42:20,580 --> 00:42:25,211
OK, three soup, one prawn, two parfait,
two no starter, then two salmon,

562
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:28,297
- one haddock, five chickens.
- Five fucking chicken! Why do we bother?

563
00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:30,305
You're going to get
the lads' starters out first, yeah?

564
00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:34,310
No, we've taken the ruby Wedding's order,
we should do them before the penguins.

565
00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:37,722
Private diners need to feel as if
they're being given VIP treatment.

566
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:44,112
Right, then! Well, good evening, gentlemen,
and welcome to the Bull's Head this evening.

567
00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:47,740
Please feel free to sit down
and make yourselves at home.

568
00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:51,494
Can't sit before the president.

569
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,745
Yeah, sit down, sit down.

570
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:08,594
Well, just a bit of housekeeping
before we serve your dinner,

571
00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:11,513
hoping there's no dietary requirements
we haven't heard about.

572
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:13,216
I don't eat shit food.

573
00:43:13,299 --> 00:43:14,699
I'm afraid you can't smoke in here,

574
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:17,596
but if you wish to partake,
please feel free to go outside.

575
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,477
The fire extinguisher is just over there.

576
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:23,188
Just hoping we won't be needing that, eh?

577
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:27,197
And, urn, lavatories are just
through the door where we came in,

578
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:31,071
so you don't have to go through
the main bar to access the facilities.

579
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:32,659
May I?

580
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:36,664
- Wants to be a waitress.
- Sommelier.

581
00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:51,383
Gentlemen, let's start
this again, shall we?

582
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:54,716
Right.

583
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,475
Now just a bit of housekeeping
to go through...

584
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,726
Boo!

585
00:44:00,805 --> 00:44:05,777
Yes, before we get onto the proper
business of the evening,

586
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:07,854
getting chateaued beyond belief!

587
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:09,693
Huzzah! Hear! Hear!

588
00:44:13,276 --> 00:44:14,573
Chunder bag.

589
00:44:17,905 --> 00:44:19,282
It's our time, gentlemen.

590
00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:24,045
Let us eat till we explode,

591
00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:26,422
drink till our eyes fall out,

592
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,920
let us dance footloose upon the Earth,

593
00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:31,177
and carpe some fucking diem!

594
00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:35,715
We who are about to dine, salute you.

595
00:44:38,426 --> 00:44:39,643
Imbibe.

596
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:47,276
Mmm!

597
00:44:50,396 --> 00:44:54,572
<i># God save our gracious queen</i>

598
00:44:54,609 --> 00:44:58,705
<i># Long live our noble queen</i>

599
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:02,249
<i># God save the queen</i>

600
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:08,123
<i># Send her victorious</i>

601
00:45:08,581 --> 00:45:12,302
<i># Happy and glorious</i>

602
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:16,514
<i># Long to reign over us</i>

603
00:45:16,589 --> 00:45:20,435
<i># God save the queen #</i>

604
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:31,110
Shall we make him a member.

605
00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:34,816
Milo, wine.

606
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:52,046
Foie gras, mate.

607
00:45:52,124 --> 00:45:54,798
Sorry, do you want yours
wrapped in a vine leaf? It'd be lovely.

608
00:45:54,835 --> 00:45:56,678
This man needs some taramasalata!

609
00:45:56,754 --> 00:45:59,553
I'm sorry, they're just
very excited to be here.

610
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:04,020
Chanel, Coco Mademoiselle.

611
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,223
Um, yeah. Well done.

612
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:10,355
All right, we're going in!

613
00:46:13,771 --> 00:46:18,117
- See, they're nice, aren't they?
- Yeah, all right, they're nice.

614
00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,536
I can't see them on The Apprentice, though.

615
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:28,210
What?

616
00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:33,625
- She did...
- Villiers, you booked a prozzer?

617
00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,426
Stick her under the table, yeah?

618
00:46:35,501 --> 00:46:37,970
- Oh, yeah?
- What? Oh...

619
00:46:38,045 --> 00:46:39,217
Villiers, how grubby!

620
00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:42,099
I asked her to bring a false moustache
for when she does you.

621
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:44,472
Are you trying to make President?

622
00:46:44,552 --> 00:46:47,055
- I'm just bringing sexy back.
- Villiers, if this gets out...

623
00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:48,848
Worried about your CV, Leighton?

624
00:46:48,889 --> 00:46:50,937
Carpe some diem, didn't you say?

625
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:53,361
- "We are legends"!
- Never mind.

626
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:59,697
Mmm and by the way, scrunching
Harry Villiers for sharking the waitress.

627
00:46:59,734 --> 00:47:01,611
Oh, yes!

628
00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:03,537
Oh, my God, that girl is tasty.

629
00:47:03,571 --> 00:47:04,914
- OK, OK.
- Up you get, Villiers.

630
00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:08,247
Scrunch! Scrunch! Scrunch! Scrunch!

631
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:17,252
- How would you like it cooked?
- Medium rare.

632
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:19,174
Medium rare!

633
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:21,887
Is there anything you
can do about the noise?

634
00:47:21,922 --> 00:47:23,048
I'm sorry.

635
00:47:23,090 --> 00:47:25,468
I think they're just enjoying themselves.

636
00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:26,973
You know, boys...

637
00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:33,567
Excuse me!

638
00:47:37,646 --> 00:47:38,772
Yes.

639
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,360
- Any sign of that parfait?
- It's just coming.

640
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:46,619
It's just if Mum doesn't eat something
soon, she'll be singing as well.

641
00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:48,950
All right, chaps, Banbury Toasts
while we're still upright.

642
00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:51,127
- It's fucking cool, man!
- What? What is this?

643
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:53,629
- Just a game, come on.
- Excuse me, I'm in charge.

644
00:47:54,955 --> 00:47:56,628
OK...

645
00:47:56,665 --> 00:47:58,667
Quiet now, OK, OK...

646
00:48:00,669 --> 00:48:01,921
Quiet!

647
00:48:02,838 --> 00:48:05,808
OK, grasshoppers, here are the rules.

648
00:48:05,883 --> 00:48:10,184
If the word means new person
or some sort of beginner,

649
00:48:10,262 --> 00:48:12,685
you take a shot. Best of five.

650
00:48:21,982 --> 00:48:23,029
Abecedarian!

651
00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:29,706
- Advantage Ryle's.
- Advantage Ryle's. Very good.

652
00:48:29,782 --> 00:48:31,580
- No, it's fine.
- Good work.

653
00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:34,754
- You'll get into the swing of it.
- You've done it.

654
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,831
Don't. Get away from me.

655
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:42,962
Whoo! Novitiate.

656
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:45,511
Come on! Come on!

657
00:48:46,674 --> 00:48:47,675
Richards!

658
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,603
- Milo! Milo.
- He's back in this.

659
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,690
Here.

660
00:49:02,231 --> 00:49:03,574
Neologism!

661
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:08,154
What? He said "gism".

662
00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:10,698
OK, OK, OK!

663
00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,003
Whippersnapper!

664
00:49:17,037 --> 00:49:19,540
Go! Go! Go! Go!

665
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,380
Draw! That's neck in neck, it's a draw.

666
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,553
- This is fantastic!
- Next round.

667
00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:26,221
OK, OK, OK, come on.

668
00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:28,846
Didn't I say? Come on, fight it, fight it.

669
00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:31,102
- Come on!
- Fight it!

670
00:49:32,178 --> 00:49:33,395
Shh!

671
00:49:42,688 --> 00:49:43,689
Catechumen!

672
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,486
Go! Go! Go! Go!

673
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:49,570
That's Richards! We have a winner!

674
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:54,200
Come on, mate, come on.

675
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,705
Did you see? That was brilliant!

676
00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:00,874
Really brilliant, honestly.

677
00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:05,256
Three shots, mate!

678
00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:16,101
All right, shh!

679
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:26,191
Raise your glasses
to Lord Riot and the dead members.

680
00:50:26,732 --> 00:50:28,484
Dead members!

681
00:50:30,319 --> 00:50:32,037
You've got a dead member,
haven't you, Bell-end?

682
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:34,865
Only cos your mum's
been sitting on it 24/7.

683
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:40,004
<i>Once more unto the drink,
dear friends.</i>

684
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:44,255
<i>Once more! And give a roar
for all our English drunk.</i>

685
00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:51,723
<i>On, on you noblest Riot,</i>

686
00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:55,474
<i>whose blood is fed from vodka 80 proof!</i>

687
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:59,183
<i>Be envy now to clubs of weaker blood.</i>

688
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:01,393
<i>And teach them how to drink.</i>

689
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,525
The game's afoot!

690
00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:08,065
Pour out your spirits,

691
00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:10,651
and with glasses charged,

692
00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:13,993
Cry, "God for Harry,

693
00:51:14,029 --> 00:51:16,999
"Dimitri and Alistair,

694
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:21,124
"James, Toby, Edward, Milo,

695
00:51:21,161 --> 00:51:24,085
"Hugo, Guy and George!"

696
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,630
Plates, please, quick, quick, quick!

697
00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:35,051
Size of that. Let's get a photo, yeah?

698
00:51:42,057 --> 00:51:44,810
Oh, my Christ! That's a very big chicken.

699
00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:48,197
That, gentlemen, is a 10 bird roast.

700
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,524
- Well, it's not actually...
- Good man.

701
00:51:49,565 --> 00:51:51,033
What is a 10 bird roast?

702
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,655
- Porn?
- Exactly what it says,

703
00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:56,789
a bird inside a bird inside a bird
inside a bird etcetera...

704
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,834
- We did have a tiny problem with...
- Bellingfield, it's amazing!

705
00:51:59,867 --> 00:52:02,245
- It's amazing!
- Bravo, mate. Good work.

706
00:52:02,328 --> 00:52:04,547
- What's pudding going to be?
- A 10 trifle, trifle?

707
00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:06,457
Ten cake, cake.

708
00:52:07,875 --> 00:52:10,048
Great! Who wants to do the honours?

709
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:12,255
How about I do it with this.

710
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,466
- Oh, Milo!
- Milo!

711
00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:19,554
Yes, Milo!

712
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:25,400
Oh, I love a roast potato! I love them!

713
00:52:28,187 --> 00:52:29,780
Absolutely disgraceful.

714
00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:37,451
Why 10 birds specifically?

715
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:40,582
Because there's 10 of us.

716
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:46,335
Ten birds bound in the heat
of the fire into one entity,

717
00:52:46,413 --> 00:52:48,415
i.e., the club.

718
00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:50,551
- What birds is it?
- Must be something tiny in the middle.

719
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,837
- A tiny shrew?
- Birds, you wad.

720
00:52:54,963 --> 00:52:57,182
- Duckling?
- No, that's not a bird.

721
00:52:57,257 --> 00:52:59,180
I think it's a budgerigar.

722
00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:02,058
- Poussin? Woodcock.
- Oh, no, woodcock are tiny.

723
00:53:02,096 --> 00:53:03,216
They'd be a bugger to shoot.

724
00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,566
So that woodcock's been inside
more birds than Villiers.

725
00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:07,601
Nine? Nine squared, mate.

726
00:53:17,403 --> 00:53:20,282
- Seriously, what birds is it?
- Dims, OK.

727
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:22,537
Uh, woodcock.

728
00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,456
Uh, duck, chicken, goose.

729
00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:29,044
Guinea fowl, quail, partridge,
turkey, pigeon, pheasant.

730
00:53:29,123 --> 00:53:30,796
Ten birds.

731
00:53:30,874 --> 00:53:33,718
There's no guinea fowl in here.

732
00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:34,966
What?

733
00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:38,466
Dad, they won't notice, will they?

734
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:40,222
Just couldn't get hold
of a guinea fowl this week.

735
00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:43,099
I mean, maybe we should change suppliers.

736
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:44,977
- Table eight away.
- The amount they've drunk,

737
00:53:48,183 --> 00:53:49,935
I did try to tell them.

738
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,817
<i>Unless</i>

739
00:53:52,896 --> 00:53:57,072
there <i>was,</i> like, a blue tit
smashed up in the stuffing.

740
00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:03,081
- Nine fucking birds!
- Mate, I hate broccoli.

741
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:06,457
- Did he tell you?
- No, he fucking didn't!

742
00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:09,747
- Come on, guys, it's still pretty cool.
- It's delicious!

743
00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:11,673
Are we going to complain?

744
00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:35,318
It's just that when we arrange something,
we expect to get it.

745
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:40,494
OK, is anyone still hungry?

746
00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:44,248
- Cos I could make you an omelette.
- No, no, sorry.

747
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:45,449
Rachel, I don't think you understand,

748
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,955
these chaps have eaten in some
of the finest restaurants in the country.

749
00:54:48,035 --> 00:54:50,709
- The world, mate.
- What are you doing in Kidsbury, then?

750
00:54:52,414 --> 00:54:56,135
- I'm sorry, what?
- You might want to keep the noise down a bit.

751
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:03,096
Well, that could have gone better.

752
00:55:07,679 --> 00:55:10,023
- Oh, well, there goes the neighbourhood...
- What?

753
00:55:10,974 --> 00:55:13,227
She went to school with my sister
and now she's

754
00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:15,855
a sex worker.

755
00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:28,079
Thank you, but we'd prefer it if
you took your business elsewhere.

756
00:55:29,451 --> 00:55:32,045
- Leighton got totally fucking rinsed.
- No, I didn't.

757
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:33,752
It's really not that important, is it?

758
00:55:33,789 --> 00:55:35,541
It's important we get what we want.

759
00:55:35,582 --> 00:55:37,459
Yes, thank you, Ryle.

760
00:55:52,432 --> 00:55:54,981
Gentlemen, it's cock o'clock.

761
00:55:56,144 --> 00:55:58,943
Yes! Yes, brilliant.

762
00:55:59,815 --> 00:56:02,614
Harry, tell her, I've got my cock
out ready for her.

763
00:56:05,445 --> 00:56:08,119
Oh, no, no. There's a fire exit.

764
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,451
Go round the back. Yeah, yeah.

765
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:27,552
Please, come through.

766
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:29,807
- After you.
- Thank you, Harry.

767
00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:31,476
Ah!

768
00:56:32,055 --> 00:56:33,648
Well, this is Charlie.

769
00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,480
She's a...

770
00:56:35,517 --> 00:56:38,236
What do you say? A call girl?

771
00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:40,940
- Oh, an escort actually these days.
- Escort.

772
00:56:42,941 --> 00:56:44,443
Oh, thank you.

773
00:56:47,029 --> 00:56:50,033
Um, you've got a room, have you?

774
00:56:55,662 --> 00:56:57,164
Um, where are the others going to go?

775
00:56:57,247 --> 00:56:59,750
Oh, no, no, they'll be here.
Around the table.

776
00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:02,628
- Right?
- And you, well,

777
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:05,719
you, under the table.

778
00:57:06,298 --> 00:57:08,016
What am I doing under the table?

779
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,474
Um, us. One at a time.

780
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:14,018
- Maybe three at a time.
- Mate.

781
00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:16,725
Well, she's got two
hands, hasn't she? So...

782
00:57:18,435 --> 00:57:20,654
You're talking about oral?

783
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,024
On all of you?

784
00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:26,201
We'd give you a cushion for your knees.

785
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:28,703
Yeah, um...

786
00:57:28,779 --> 00:57:29,871
I think there's been...

787
00:57:31,156 --> 00:57:32,783
- Chris?
- Dad?

788
00:57:32,866 --> 00:57:34,618
Hang on there, Rach. Chris?

789
00:57:34,701 --> 00:57:37,204
Rachel needs you out front,
table 12 is kicking off.

790
00:57:37,245 --> 00:57:38,337
Yeah.

791
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:42,047
I do a more classy sort of service.

792
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:48,804
You know, like a date, only I don't call
in the morning. Dinner, conversation...

793
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:52,386
Yeah, we wanted to pick
your brains about fiscal policy.

794
00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:57,566
Um, did the agency not say that
extras had to be agreed in advance?

795
00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:59,985
I thought he was asking
if I wanted more than one girl.

796
00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:01,903
They throw these fucking
euphemisms at you.

797
00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:03,071
Villiers.

798
00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:08,572
Listen, Charlie,

799
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:10,905
I'm sure we can work something out,
can't we?

800
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:13,662
A considerably bigger fee,
which the agency needn't know about?

801
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:15,538
Oh, I don't do anything off the books.

802
00:58:15,575 --> 00:58:18,829
Sorry, I'm trying to be a gentleman here,
but I'm actually really fucked off.

803
00:58:18,912 --> 00:58:22,086
OK, isn't she just the wrong kind of...
A different kind of...

804
00:58:22,124 --> 00:58:23,717
Don't, Richards!

805
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:26,879
You might be happy
being pussy-whipped, but I'm not.

806
00:58:27,254 --> 00:58:28,597
OK, mate.

807
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:32,593
Look, I promised these boys
they'll get a blow job tonight,

808
00:58:32,634 --> 00:58:35,558
if you don't do it, then
I look like a cunt.

809
00:58:38,390 --> 00:58:39,687
I'm really sorry,

810
00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:43,396
but I don't do more than two visits
in a row without a break, so...

811
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:45,280
What break do you need
if you're just lying there?

812
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:48,154
I'm not just a live version
of the sock you wank into.

813
00:58:48,734 --> 00:58:50,577
I'm not sure you quite appreciate
who you're talking to.

814
00:58:50,610 --> 00:58:53,010
Do it yourself, you'll be under the table,
a mouth's a mouth.

815
00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:56,625
Why can't you just fucking do it?

816
00:58:57,409 --> 00:58:59,537
Why can't you just buckle down and...

817
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:01,337
Oh, for fuck's sake, you're a whore.

818
00:59:08,962 --> 00:59:11,681
Right, I think I'm going now, aren't I?

819
00:59:16,136 --> 00:59:17,479
Toodle Pip!

820
00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:27,273
Fuck!

821
00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:30,534
Do understand, sir,
we've been short-staffed this evening

822
00:59:30,609 --> 00:59:34,079
- and your order got caught in a bottleneck.
- What about the noise?

823
00:59:35,781 --> 00:59:39,331
- We could try and find you another table.
- We're leaving.

824
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:44,670
I don't suppose you want to settle up
for your drinks and starters?

825
00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:47,342
I am trying to run a
family restaurant here.

826
00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:49,010
Gastro pub.

827
00:59:49,044 --> 00:59:52,344
You might like that sort of thing,

828
00:59:52,380 --> 00:59:54,849
I find it extremely offensive.

829
00:59:54,883 --> 00:59:56,510
Notwithstanding, it's against the law...

830
00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:58,519
Let's not get into the legality of this.

831
00:59:58,553 --> 01:00:01,181
I've just had a table of four
leave before their mains,

832
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:03,646
refusing to pay the bill
because of the noise.

833
01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:05,026
Yeah, I'm sorry.

834
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:06,604
We're very, very sorry.

835
01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:08,984
I think it's time for you to leave, please.

836
01:00:09,022 --> 01:00:11,195
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

837
01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:12,530
We're ever so sorry.

838
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,787
Most of us went to boarding school,
we don't really know any women.

839
01:00:17,697 --> 01:00:19,199
I'd like you to leave.

840
01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:22,543
How much was the bill?

841
01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:26,544
For the table who left?

842
01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:32,547
Um, maybe, £100 by the end of the night.

843
01:00:33,380 --> 01:00:36,554
- And we're spending what tonight?
- Ryle, just...

844
01:00:37,050 --> 01:00:38,552
We're spending what tonight?

845
01:00:40,637 --> 01:00:42,184
About three and a half grand, I think.

846
01:00:44,891 --> 01:00:47,519
It's not just about the money,

847
01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:49,689
it's about goodwill,

848
01:00:49,729 --> 01:00:51,572
these people are my customers.

849
01:00:51,606 --> 01:00:52,732
OK.

850
01:00:53,608 --> 01:00:55,781
Gesture of goodwill.

851
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:59,491
We'll, um, we'll call it 150, all right?

852
01:00:59,573 --> 01:01:01,575
Let's say they were going
to order another bottle.

853
01:01:01,616 --> 01:01:04,335
We wouldn't want you to be out of pocket.

854
01:01:04,411 --> 01:01:05,628
Exactly.

855
01:01:14,796 --> 01:01:17,424
This is what they teach you
at boarding school, is it?

856
01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,484
Actually, yeah, it is.

857
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:49,122
Here we go.

858
01:01:50,457 --> 01:01:51,629
Lovely!

859
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:22,823
I thought you were going to chuck them out.

860
01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:24,912
We came to an arrangement.

861
01:02:27,994 --> 01:02:30,543
Did you let them pay you off?

862
01:02:30,622 --> 01:02:34,593
All right, so, I let them reimburse me
for a table that we lost.

863
01:02:34,668 --> 01:02:37,188
What? Would you rather that I just
didn't take money off people?

864
01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,299
I'm still paying off
your student loan, you know.

865
01:02:40,340 --> 01:02:42,308
- Dad...
- Look, Rachel, if you've got comments,

866
01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:45,312
just save them for after
service, all right?

867
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:51,018
Michael, I'll be behind
the bar if you need me.

868
01:02:52,686 --> 01:02:55,280
"Is that what they teach you
at boarding school?"

869
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:57,733
I know. Knob-jockey.

870
01:02:57,816 --> 01:02:59,489
Come on. You offered him a deal,
he took it, what's the...

871
01:02:59,526 --> 01:03:01,824
Yeah, but he keeps the moral high ground.

872
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,449
What about, don't take the money
if you feel that fucking strongly?

873
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:08,160
Or what about, take the money,
but shut the fuck up?

874
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:10,875
Ryle, you're a fucking legend.

875
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:13,332
And her, right, Charlie,

876
01:03:13,373 --> 01:03:15,341
you're a prostitute,
love, get on your knees.

877
01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:17,298
Fuck ya!

878
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:21,803
I mean, are we just going to sit here
and take it, carry on taking it?

879
01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:25,879
- We're all going to come out of college...
- Which we worked fucking hard for.

880
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:30,140
...and there's going to be no country left
for us because of people like him.

881
01:03:30,223 --> 01:03:33,193
Oh, come on, that's a bit
of a hard line position, isn't it?

882
01:03:34,185 --> 01:03:35,402
We never use those.

883
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:39,232
<i>Buon appetito!</i>

884
01:03:40,942 --> 01:03:43,866
OK, join it up, shall we?

885
01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:49,125
So, OK, they want all the stuff,
nice car, massive telly,

886
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,795
so they borrow more than
they can ever afford to pay back.

887
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,748
- Yeah.
- Then, when the great New Labour

888
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:58,839
shop in the sky goes up in flames,
they vote us back in to sort it out.

889
01:03:59,461 --> 01:04:02,931
Sounding a lot like a conversation
about politics here, can I just say?

890
01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:05,634
State of the world, mate.
Everything's political.

891
01:04:05,717 --> 01:04:07,765
- I'm here for the wine and the jokes.
- Hear, hear.

892
01:04:08,553 --> 01:04:10,772
Cos you've got no heritage, that's why.

893
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:13,524
- I've got a boatload of heritage.
- No, mate, you've got a boat.

894
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:17,820
Fuck you, Bellingfield.

895
01:04:17,896 --> 01:04:19,648
You know, they're obsessed...

896
01:04:19,731 --> 01:04:23,486
- They're obsessed with upward mobility.
- Absolutely.

897
01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:26,947
Don't understand why it doesn't
all just get handed to them.

898
01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:28,998
- Mate.
- No, fuck you.

899
01:04:29,074 --> 01:04:32,624
- Does anyone not want their pudding?
- Is that why they're all so bitter?

900
01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:36,585
I can't help who my father is, but every
fucking internship interview it comes up,

901
01:04:36,623 --> 01:04:40,753
as if I haven't worked,
as if I don't work my fucking arse off!

902
01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:44,139
- It's just them and us all over again.
- Yes!

903
01:04:44,214 --> 01:04:46,842
No, it's not. It's not at all.
It's not them and us.

904
01:04:46,925 --> 01:04:49,599
In our village pub, we drink with everyone.

905
01:04:50,345 --> 01:04:52,222
People who work in the estate, farmers.

906
01:04:52,305 --> 01:04:54,273
- Who buys the drinks?
- Sorry?

907
01:04:54,307 --> 01:04:55,559
Who pays for the drinks?

908
01:04:57,185 --> 01:04:58,186
Well, I do.

909
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:03,196
You think they don't laugh at you
when you're not there?

910
01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:08,405
George, they hate you.

911
01:05:10,073 --> 01:05:12,872
Fuck! Oh, that's nice.

912
01:05:13,493 --> 01:05:15,166
All I need now is a blo-jo.

913
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:18,215
Maybe we should just try and

914
01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:20,917
find a way to, uh, co-exist.

915
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:28,017
Mate, just cos you're doing field research
doesn't mean the rest of us want to.

916
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:31,056
We apologise.

917
01:05:32,178 --> 01:05:34,852
We apologise for being who we are.

918
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:38,860
We pretend we're the same,
we do it to ourselves, yeah?

919
01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,863
We need to stop apologising.

920
01:05:41,896 --> 01:05:44,115
Cos it's only going to get worse.

921
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:46,659
Shit! Um, lose it, lose the coke.

922
01:05:48,486 --> 01:05:49,703
Um, yep-

923
01:05:52,615 --> 01:05:54,367
- Hi.
- Fuck!

924
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:00,298
What are you, uh, sorry, hi...

925
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:02,133
Um, what are you... What
are you doing here?

926
01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:05,712
You texted me?
You asked me to come.

927
01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:09,758
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you texted me.

928
01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:11,384
Sorry, who are you?

929
01:06:12,051 --> 01:06:13,348
Oh, it's Miles' girlfriend.

930
01:06:13,386 --> 01:06:15,809
- Lauren Small!
- I didn't text you.

931
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,850
No, I didn't fucking text her!
I didn't text you.

932
01:06:18,892 --> 01:06:22,112
Presumably, we could sort this out
quite easily by seeing the text?

933
01:06:22,187 --> 01:06:24,360
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Very good point.

934
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:26,779
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

935
01:06:26,858 --> 01:06:29,452
- Jesus, just look at mine.
- Thank you.

936
01:06:31,613 --> 01:06:32,910
Lauren...

937
01:06:36,284 --> 01:06:38,412
"I need you to rescue me.

938
01:06:39,370 --> 01:06:43,671
"Can you put on a dress
and come to the Bull's Head, Kidsbury?

939
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:45,798
<i>"Kiss, kiss, kiss, Miles."</i>

940
01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:50,098
Honestly, some fuckwit has
nicked my phone and texted you.

941
01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:52,805
You said you needed me and I came.

942
01:06:54,469 --> 01:06:56,437
I think that makes me a nice person.

943
01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:58,314
It does, it does, you know.

944
01:06:58,389 --> 01:07:00,517
Excuse me, sorry, excuse me.

945
01:07:00,975 --> 01:07:02,147
Um...

946
01:07:02,810 --> 01:07:06,860
Uh, I'm sorry, Lauren.
But this is a mistake. So...

947
01:07:06,940 --> 01:07:08,237
I think I'm gonna put you in a taxi...

948
01:07:08,274 --> 01:07:10,993
No, no, no, she's only just arrived.
Where are your manners, Milo?

949
01:07:11,069 --> 01:07:14,289
- Harry...
- Seriously, calm down, sit down.

950
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,117
Lauren, please, have a drink.

951
01:07:18,535 --> 01:07:19,752
Here.

952
01:07:25,875 --> 01:07:27,752
Oh, this is nice.

953
01:07:27,794 --> 01:07:29,467
So, now, Lauren,

954
01:07:30,797 --> 01:07:33,596
my friend here has a question for you.

955
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:37,978
Hi.

956
01:07:39,931 --> 01:07:41,478
Hello!

957
01:07:44,435 --> 01:07:47,359
How would you like to make £300 tonight?

958
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,573
What?

959
01:07:56,656 --> 01:07:59,705
Oh, my God, is he going to ask her? Legend.

960
01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:00,910
You see...

961
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:05,833
We had this...

962
01:08:05,915 --> 01:08:09,840
We had this lady friend, um, boo,

963
01:08:10,628 --> 01:08:12,255
the landlord sent her away.

964
01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:15,137
- Guys, please, don't...
- What sort of lady friend?

965
01:08:15,174 --> 01:08:17,552
- Service industry.
- Just a few blow jobs.

966
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:22,357
- OK, it's my girlfriend, can you just stop?
- Oh, sorry, sorry.

967
01:08:23,016 --> 01:08:26,520
I didn't realise you were,
you know, exclusive.

968
01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:29,689
What was it you said earlier?

969
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:33,947
"Girls for now, girls for later."

970
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,873
- I didn't say that.
- Yes, you did.

971
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:41,667
I didn't say that! I didn't say it!

972
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:46,581
Chaps, chaps.

973
01:08:47,332 --> 01:08:50,131
I think that's a bit insulting
to Lauren, actually.

974
01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:56,470
Three hundred quid?

975
01:08:56,549 --> 01:09:01,100
No, no, surely it should be something
that actually makes a difference?

976
01:09:01,179 --> 01:09:03,648
- Like, um...
- Dimitri, please.

977
01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:06,396
Twenty-seven grand?

978
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:10,613
What?

979
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:12,407
It's three years' tuition fees.

980
01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:15,743
Just for a few blow jobs.

981
01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:17,908
Spicy.

982
01:09:21,616 --> 01:09:23,243
I'm serious.

983
01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:27,081
Give me your account number,
I will do a transfer right now.

984
01:09:29,123 --> 01:09:30,295
Miles?

985
01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:34,091
- I, um...
- Yeah?

986
01:09:48,768 --> 01:09:49,815
It's up to you.

987
01:09:50,978 --> 01:09:51,979
Sorry?

988
01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:56,026
No, no, no, you're right...

989
01:09:56,109 --> 01:09:57,281
It's up to me?

990
01:09:57,360 --> 01:10:00,990
No, no, no, I'm sorry,
I just thought for a second,

991
01:10:01,072 --> 01:10:03,370
for a moment, I just thought
it's a fuckload of money.

992
01:10:03,449 --> 01:10:05,417
What, and I'm the sort of scrubber
who'd take it?

993
01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:08,671
No, no, I didn't think
it was my decision to make.

994
01:10:09,580 --> 01:10:11,298
Um, can I get you a taxi?

995
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:18,097
- Can you let me out, please?
- What is it, Lauren?

996
01:10:18,131 --> 01:10:19,633
You're too good for us?

997
01:10:19,674 --> 01:10:21,597
We've got the finest sperm
in the country in this room,

998
01:10:21,634 --> 01:10:23,477
you should be paying us
to let you drink it.

999
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:25,396
What are you saying? What are you doing?

1000
01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:27,189
Whoa, whoa, jokes. Lauren...

1001
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:29,642
Jokes.

1002
01:10:31,811 --> 01:10:34,155
Do you not do humour at state school?

1003
01:10:34,647 --> 01:10:35,648
What?

1004
01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:39,034
You think we'd touch you with a bargepole?

1005
01:10:39,777 --> 01:10:41,620
Wouldn't fuck her with a bargepole.

1006
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,531
That is fucking offensive.

1007
01:10:45,491 --> 01:10:46,868
Let her out, guys.

1008
01:10:46,951 --> 01:10:47,952
Let her out.

1009
01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:51,664
Oh, no, sorry, it's, uh, it's pull.

1010
01:10:52,498 --> 01:10:54,000
Stop it.

1011
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:56,218
For fuck's sake, stop it.

1012
01:11:00,506 --> 01:11:01,507
Anyone else?

1013
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:08,556
Lauren!

1014
01:11:09,056 --> 01:11:10,182
Lauren.

1015
01:11:27,033 --> 01:11:28,706
You're wasted, you're wasted.

1016
01:12:07,573 --> 01:12:08,916
Rach...

1017
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:10,584
Rachel.

1018
01:12:12,078 --> 01:12:14,831
We'll talk about it in the morning, Dad.

1019
01:12:25,716 --> 01:12:27,514
Go help yourself to a pint if you want.

1020
01:12:27,593 --> 01:12:29,971
Best get back, thanks,
the little one's teething.

1021
01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:33,029
Unless you need help handling those lads.

1022
01:12:33,099 --> 01:12:35,898
What? No. I'll be fine.

1023
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:38,362
Go on, get home.

1024
01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:40,189
See ya.

1025
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,361
Go on, Paul, I'll empty that.

1026
01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:47,993
- See you on Monday.
- See ya.

1027
01:12:54,704 --> 01:13:00,382
While you're under
my roof, you'll respect my rules.

1028
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:06,925
Well, I've got a new rule for you, mate,
it's called "Fuck you, we're the Riot Club".

1029
01:13:08,259 --> 01:13:12,685
This bourgeois outrage when
we do anything, say anything.

1030
01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:15,482
Anything we ever build or achieve,

1031
01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:19,404
anything with the slightest whiff
of magnificence,

1032
01:13:19,478 --> 01:13:22,197
how did they get everywhere,

1033
01:13:22,273 --> 01:13:25,573
how did they make everything
so fucking second-rate?

1034
01:13:27,445 --> 01:13:31,040
Thinking they're better
because there's more of them.

1035
01:13:31,115 --> 01:13:33,664
That's not sweat on their palms,

1036
01:13:33,743 --> 01:13:36,337
it's envy, it's resentment.

1037
01:13:37,163 --> 01:13:39,165
And it stinks like a fucking drain.

1038
01:13:39,248 --> 01:13:40,328
- Hear, hear.
- That's right.

1039
01:13:40,333 --> 01:13:45,009
I am sick to fucking death of poor people.

1040
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:46,680
Yeah, fucking yes.

1041
01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:57,024
Lauren? It's me.

1042
01:13:58,100 --> 01:13:59,852
Please call me back.

1043
01:14:01,687 --> 01:14:03,781
I'm really...

1044
01:14:07,693 --> 01:14:10,162
I thought you'd gone.

1045
01:14:10,196 --> 01:14:13,871
Was it you that texted her?

1046
01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:16,661
Of course not.

1047
01:14:20,748 --> 01:14:24,719
Whatever thing it is you have
for me, you need to fucking...

1048
01:14:24,752 --> 01:14:27,380
- I'm straight, yeah?
- Yeah, I got that.

1049
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:30,217
I'm not your fucking rent boy.

1050
01:14:33,427 --> 01:14:35,555
No one forced you into this.

1051
01:14:36,722 --> 01:14:38,395
You wanted to come.

1052
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:49,243
Come on, boys, back to the trenches.

1053
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:51,070
Come on, Milo, Milo.

1054
01:17:18,092 --> 01:17:21,722
I can't hear enough smashing.
More smash, more trashing.

1055
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,415
Oh, Jesus.

1056
01:17:45,703 --> 01:17:46,829
Jesus Christ.

1057
01:17:49,915 --> 01:17:51,258
What have you done?

1058
01:17:57,715 --> 01:17:59,592
You've broken my bulls.

1059
01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:07,938
- What the hell are you doing?
- No, no, no, don't worry.

1060
01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:10,941
- Don't worry?
- We're going to pay you, we always pay.

1061
01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:13,489
What gave you the right...

1062
01:18:13,564 --> 01:18:14,816
Oh, sit down.

1063
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,034
Take the knife off him.

1064
01:18:22,698 --> 01:18:26,623
Chaps, let's all be gentlemen, shall we?

1065
01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:29,455
Shut up and listen.

1066
01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:34,760
Now, this, this is how it works.
You go back out there quietly,

1067
01:18:34,793 --> 01:18:37,296
we do this and we pay you very generously.

1068
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:43,352
People let you do this?

1069
01:18:44,053 --> 01:18:46,932
Most people are smart enough
to take the treats and shut up.

1070
01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:48,974
I don't want your money.

1071
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:59,736
Then what are you trying to do
with this tawdry little cum-shack?

1072
01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:03,075
People like you

1073
01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:07,202
think you can buy your way out
of everything, don't you?

1074
01:19:08,202 --> 01:19:11,832
- You think the world just revolves...
- Oh, I know, I know.

1075
01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:19,093
You're torn up inside
cos you think you don't like me.

1076
01:19:21,715 --> 01:19:22,716
News for you.

1077
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:26,804
You fucking love me.

1078
01:19:28,681 --> 01:19:31,400
You'd like to be me,

1079
01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:35,696
you just can't quite admit it, can you?

1080
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:41,194
Chip on your shoulder much?

1081
01:19:48,242 --> 01:19:53,089
You're no better than a bunch of kids
breaking shop windows.

1082
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:59,632
You're just spoiled little brats.

1083
01:20:14,393 --> 01:20:16,316
Oops.

1084
01:20:21,233 --> 01:20:23,577
Shit, Villiers, get the door, get the door.

1085
01:20:26,030 --> 01:20:27,247
Come on.

1086
01:20:31,201 --> 01:20:32,202
No, no, no, no.

1087
01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:41,549
Wouldn't want you to be out of pocket.

1088
01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:04,781
Go, go, go, go.

1089
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,118
Fuck.

1090
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:14,203
Bowler.

1091
01:21:15,496 --> 01:21:16,497
Come on.

1092
01:21:39,478 --> 01:21:41,355
Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby.

1093
01:21:41,647 --> 01:21:42,648
It's OK.

1094
01:21:43,315 --> 01:21:44,567
Guys...

1095
01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:47,991
What the, the fuck are you doing?

1096
01:21:50,823 --> 01:21:52,075
He was pushing me all night.

1097
01:21:52,783 --> 01:21:55,161
Jesus fucking Christ, is he breathing?

1098
01:21:55,202 --> 01:21:56,203
Yeah. Just.

1099
01:21:57,663 --> 01:21:58,664
Ambulance, please.

1100
01:22:00,290 --> 01:22:02,008
Hang up, Milo. Milo, hang up the phone.

1101
01:22:02,042 --> 01:22:03,635
The Bull's Head, Kidsbury.

1102
01:22:03,669 --> 01:22:06,263
- Somebody's unconscious.
- Wait. Say he fell. Say he fell.

1103
01:22:07,548 --> 01:22:08,549
He was punched.

1104
01:22:09,133 --> 01:22:10,180
Fuck's sakes, Richards.

1105
01:22:13,595 --> 01:22:15,393
I'm gonna be sick.

1106
01:22:15,472 --> 01:22:17,872
Mate, they'll send the police,
you said there's been a fight.

1107
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:20,686
Fuck.

1108
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,522
Right, guys, listen,

1109
01:22:23,605 --> 01:22:25,858
nobody says anything to them, OK?

1110
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:27,867
I think it's pretty fucking obvious
what's happened.

1111
01:22:27,901 --> 01:22:29,528
Just say, "No comment", yes?

1112
01:22:29,611 --> 01:22:31,113
Get the money out.

1113
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:37,203
I didn't do this. I didn't do this.

1114
01:22:37,286 --> 01:22:40,790
Mate, it's the club, right?
We all did this.

1115
01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:44,792
Did you say anything?

1116
01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:45,831
Nothing.

1117
01:24:47,541 --> 01:24:48,884
You?

1118
01:24:48,959 --> 01:24:50,131
Uh-uh.

1119
01:24:54,506 --> 01:24:55,507
Mate.

1120
01:24:56,383 --> 01:24:58,761
Remember when you did the bedroom trash?

1121
01:24:58,844 --> 01:24:59,936
Yeah.

1122
01:25:00,679 --> 01:25:02,852
Whose room did you do first?

1123
01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:04,816
Why?

1124
01:25:06,268 --> 01:25:09,021
Is this your driver?
I'll tell you in the car.

1125
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:26,142
- Are you a relative?
- I don't need to see him,

1126
01:25:26,204 --> 01:25:27,797
I just want to find out if he's OK...

1127
01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:30,001
The fuck are you doing here?

1128
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:32,010
See how much trouble you're in?

1129
01:25:32,044 --> 01:25:34,217
It's all right. It's going to be fine.
Thank you very much.

1130
01:25:34,296 --> 01:25:35,673
Excuse me.

1131
01:25:35,714 --> 01:25:38,809
Excuse me, I'm sorry,
I just wanted to check, is he...

1132
01:25:38,884 --> 01:25:40,886
Is he what? Is he dead?

1133
01:25:40,927 --> 01:25:42,270
- Is he dead?
- No.

1134
01:25:42,346 --> 01:25:44,565
Now get back in your Bentley and fuck off.

1135
01:25:53,565 --> 01:25:56,819
One of his lungs has collapsed.
He's got a blood clot in his brain.

1136
01:25:56,902 --> 01:25:58,074
Fuck.

1137
01:25:58,153 --> 01:26:01,407
Two broken ribs. Collarbone.
Several fingers, broken nose,

1138
01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,993
ruptured spleen, internal bleeding.

1139
01:26:05,035 --> 01:26:07,083
Right now they're trying to
save the sight in his left eye,

1140
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,210
does that answer your fucking question?

1141
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:13,418
Yes.

1142
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:20,425
Dad.

1143
01:26:22,094 --> 01:26:25,018
They're asking if you
can remember anything.

1144
01:26:26,098 --> 01:26:27,475
Who hit you?

1145
01:26:32,145 --> 01:26:33,647
I don't know.

1146
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:39,194
They all look the same.

1147
01:26:45,117 --> 01:26:46,960
- Where's Miles?
- I don't know.

1148
01:26:51,289 --> 01:26:53,132
So, what do we do?

1149
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:54,801
Wait.

1150
01:26:54,876 --> 01:26:58,036
My lawyer says they'll call us back for
second interviews if they find anything.

1151
01:26:58,046 --> 01:26:59,639
They'll find fingerprints
and things, won't they?

1152
01:26:59,715 --> 01:27:01,467
Ivan says we carry on. Say nothing.

1153
01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:02,847
How far is that going to get us?

1154
01:27:02,926 --> 01:27:04,473
It got us bail, didn't it?

1155
01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:07,764
Well, can someone come up with something?

1156
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:09,286
Cos I'd really like to have a career.

1157
01:27:09,307 --> 01:27:11,435
Self-defence. He came at us waving a knife.

1158
01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:12,523
What? Ten on one?

1159
01:27:19,776 --> 01:27:21,449
How about we give them someone?

1160
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:23,367
You mean, the police?

1161
01:27:23,905 --> 01:27:26,909
We choose one person, ideally a volunteer,

1162
01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:29,336
we all say he was the one
who had the fight with the landlord.

1163
01:27:29,369 --> 01:27:32,873
What about the club?
Sticking together, all for one?

1164
01:27:32,956 --> 01:27:36,586
Wait. One man confesses,
takes a hit for the team.

1165
01:27:36,668 --> 01:27:37,715
Nine of us stay clean.

1166
01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:38,795
He'd be a fucking hero.

1167
01:27:39,337 --> 01:27:41,431
And the rest of us do what we can
to help him in the future.

1168
01:27:41,506 --> 01:27:43,066
You don't leave a man out in the field,

1169
01:27:43,133 --> 01:27:46,558
- this is not what we do.
- Balf, it's not fucking Dunkirk.

1170
01:27:46,636 --> 01:27:48,156
Surely, we don't get to choose?

1171
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:49,681
Mate?

1172
01:27:50,223 --> 01:27:52,567
Surely it's up to the police
who gets punished?

1173
01:27:53,560 --> 01:27:55,688
The landlord can't remember who hit him.

1174
01:27:55,729 --> 01:27:57,697
So, we can decide that.

1175
01:28:03,528 --> 01:28:04,529
So?

1176
01:28:05,197 --> 01:28:06,619
Who is it going to be?

1177
01:28:07,032 --> 01:28:08,375
It's pretty obvious, isn't it?

1178
01:28:08,408 --> 01:28:09,625
Ryle...

1179
01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:13,546
Would you like to volunteer?

1180
01:28:14,873 --> 01:28:15,920
What?

1181
01:28:15,999 --> 01:28:18,343
You did punch him first.

1182
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:20,720
I wasn't the only one.

1183
01:28:20,754 --> 01:28:22,722
The rest of you wanted
to, even if you didn't.

1184
01:28:22,798 --> 01:28:24,766
You did get everyone wound up.

1185
01:28:24,841 --> 01:28:25,888
What?

1186
01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:28,207
That stuff you said, "Stop apologising",
"Them and us"...

1187
01:28:28,220 --> 01:28:30,700
I was only saying what every other fucker
in here was thinking.

1188
01:28:30,722 --> 01:28:32,395
Incitement. It was incitement.

1189
01:28:32,474 --> 01:28:34,602
I mean, didn't your brother tell you
it was a dinner, not a rally?

1190
01:28:34,684 --> 01:28:36,561
Nothing like his brother.

1191
01:28:39,231 --> 01:28:41,654
It should be the president, shouldn't it?

1192
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:44,403
What the fuck?

1193
01:28:44,444 --> 01:28:48,074
If anyone's going to fall
on their sword, shouldn't it be you?

1194
01:28:50,450 --> 01:28:52,953
I, I didn't even touch him.

1195
01:28:53,036 --> 01:28:54,754
Man up and take it.

1196
01:28:56,623 --> 01:28:57,624
Boys...

1197
01:28:57,707 --> 01:29:00,927
Or we do the logical
thing, last in, first out.

1198
01:29:01,253 --> 01:29:02,425
What, the newest member?

1199
01:29:02,462 --> 01:29:03,509
But we've got two new members.

1200
01:29:03,588 --> 01:29:05,056
Yeah, but technically
you only become a member

1201
01:29:05,090 --> 01:29:07,263
once your room's trashed,
so it depends on which order we did that.

1202
01:29:07,342 --> 01:29:09,515
We did Ryle first, so technically...

1203
01:29:10,887 --> 01:29:12,309
Technically, it's Miles.

1204
01:29:20,772 --> 01:29:22,024
I didn't do anything.

1205
01:29:24,442 --> 01:29:25,910
You did call the ambulance.

1206
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:31,158
I'm not going to go in
there and say I did this.

1207
01:29:31,241 --> 01:29:32,242
What the fuck?

1208
01:29:32,325 --> 01:29:33,326
We'll all rally.

1209
01:29:34,035 --> 01:29:36,796
Dimitri can get you a shit-hot lawyer.
You'd be doing it for the club.

1210
01:29:36,830 --> 01:29:37,922
Fuck the club.

1211
01:29:37,956 --> 01:29:39,676
We're not still talking about that, are we?

1212
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:42,460
I'm sorry, but I can't...

1213
01:29:43,253 --> 01:29:45,051
God, if it really kicked off...

1214
01:29:45,130 --> 01:29:46,848
We could all get sent down from college.

1215
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:49,472
Yes, and that's the worst possible thing
you can imagine happening, is it?

1216
01:29:49,509 --> 01:29:53,139
Miles, I have holes in my pockets
and no one useful on speed dial.

1217
01:29:53,972 --> 01:29:55,189
I'm built for hiding in libraries.

1218
01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:57,313
I'm not gonna lie to the police,
so you can ponce around

1219
01:29:57,392 --> 01:30:00,192
- in a fucking cape for the rest of your life.
- Thing is, mate,

1220
01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:02,906
it's nine against one.

1221
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,193
Whatever you say.

1222
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:39,147
Can I, uh, speak to you?

1223
01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:42,028
- Somewhere not...
- I've got nothing to say.

1224
01:30:44,481 --> 01:30:47,030
Please, I have to talk to you...

1225
01:30:53,073 --> 01:30:55,075
You let them humiliate me.

1226
01:30:57,827 --> 01:30:59,170
I'm sorry.

1227
01:31:02,207 --> 01:31:03,675
Really sorry.

1228
01:31:04,668 --> 01:31:08,548
And I will do whatever you want
to prove that to you, but...

1229
01:31:08,588 --> 01:31:10,340
I need your help, something has happened...

1230
01:31:10,382 --> 01:31:12,422
Why should I help you
after what you put me through?

1231
01:31:12,467 --> 01:31:15,971
I didn't do what you think,
I tried to stop them...

1232
01:31:16,054 --> 01:31:17,556
You were there.

1233
01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:20,149
You had a choice, Miles.

1234
01:31:21,351 --> 01:31:23,069
You chose to do nothing

1235
01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:27,695
and if you speak to me ever again,
I will report you,

1236
01:31:27,732 --> 01:31:30,485
all of you, for assault.

1237
01:31:31,069 --> 01:31:32,321
Please...

1238
01:31:58,388 --> 01:32:00,356
Alistair Ryle?

1239
01:32:00,432 --> 01:32:01,604
Uh, no.

1240
01:32:02,642 --> 01:32:04,269
This is his room?

1241
01:32:04,894 --> 01:32:06,737
No, we, we swapped.

1242
01:32:07,772 --> 01:32:11,948
He's in Cloister Quad, Walsingham,
number six, I think.

1243
01:32:13,820 --> 01:32:15,322
You got some ID?

1244
01:32:15,405 --> 01:32:16,577
Yeah, yeah.

1245
01:32:34,632 --> 01:32:36,384
Sorry to disturb you.

1246
01:32:36,468 --> 01:32:38,516
No, it's fine. Thank you.

1247
01:32:53,485 --> 01:32:54,907
Alistair Ryle?

1248
01:33:12,212 --> 01:33:14,840
They found bits of the landlord
under Ryle's fingernails.

1249
01:33:14,923 --> 01:33:15,924
Bits?

1250
01:33:16,007 --> 01:33:18,135
I don't know, skin and stuff. Skin.

1251
01:33:18,176 --> 01:33:19,803
And they've charged him?

1252
01:33:19,844 --> 01:33:20,845
Yeah.

1253
01:33:21,679 --> 01:33:22,680
Just him?

1254
01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:23,811
Yes.

1255
01:33:24,390 --> 01:33:26,430
And the rest of us pay a police fine
for the damage.

1256
01:33:26,476 --> 01:33:27,728
No criminal record.

1257
01:33:27,811 --> 01:33:29,131
And do we trust Ryle to...

1258
01:33:29,187 --> 01:33:31,155
Of course, we do. The man's a legend.

1259
01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:33,983
And what about college?
Are we gonna be sent down?

1260
01:33:34,651 --> 01:33:38,155
You're a fucking pussy, Leighton,
you know that?

1261
01:34:00,135 --> 01:34:02,854
Were it up to me,
these boys would be sent down

1262
01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:06,107
for moral vacuity and unspeakable
thoughtlessness.

1263
01:34:07,058 --> 01:34:10,187
However, I have been outvoted.

1264
01:34:10,979 --> 01:34:14,324
Since the police have decided
to prosecute only one of the boys,

1265
01:34:14,399 --> 01:34:18,154
the council of colleges doesn't feel
justified in removing all 10.

1266
01:34:19,779 --> 01:34:22,373
Not with the roasting
we'd receive from the press.

1267
01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:26,119
Only Alistair Ryle is to be sent down.

1268
01:34:27,745 --> 01:34:30,464
Oh well, that is, my gosh,

1269
01:34:30,999 --> 01:34:32,922
that is very good news.

1270
01:34:33,626 --> 01:34:37,221
Time will tell if it was one bad apple
spoiling the rest.

1271
01:34:37,338 --> 01:34:39,636
Well, thank you.

1272
01:34:40,633 --> 01:34:44,729
Of course, if there's anything we can do
to say thank you to the college...

1273
01:34:48,433 --> 01:34:50,435
Anything?

1274
01:34:50,476 --> 01:34:51,477
No.

1275
01:34:59,360 --> 01:35:01,704
OK, Olly, let's go.

1276
01:35:01,779 --> 01:35:04,282
Your marvellous brother's got away
with it this time.

1277
01:35:04,324 --> 01:35:05,667
- What's that mean?
- He stays.

1278
01:35:05,742 --> 01:35:08,211
He's allowed back after the holidays.
Thank God.

1279
01:35:08,286 --> 01:35:09,754
Richards, mate.

1280
01:35:09,787 --> 01:35:12,040
I was just coming to find you.

1281
01:35:17,337 --> 01:35:18,338
Sorry.

1282
01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:21,262
Guy Bellingfield.

1283
01:35:21,299 --> 01:35:23,427
Wonderful to meet you, I've heard so much.

1284
01:35:25,553 --> 01:35:27,601
You're not a friend
from this club, are you?

1285
01:35:27,639 --> 01:35:30,142
Uh, from the history society,

1286
01:35:30,225 --> 01:35:31,898
Junior Historians.

1287
01:35:32,477 --> 01:35:37,324
Actually, I'm the new president
of the Junior Historians.

1288
01:35:37,357 --> 01:35:38,950
President?

1289
01:35:38,983 --> 01:35:42,908
The previous incumbent was shown
not to be up to the job, so...

1290
01:35:44,447 --> 01:35:48,827
I thought we could get together,
discuss next term's lecture series,

1291
01:35:48,868 --> 01:35:50,836
if you fancy coming along.

1292
01:35:54,791 --> 01:35:56,668
Maybe, it's not for me.

1293
01:35:57,835 --> 01:36:01,465
I'm done with societies.
I'll be fine on my own.

1294
01:36:02,757 --> 01:36:03,758
But thanks.

1295
01:36:08,221 --> 01:36:10,895
Well, good luck with that.

1296
01:36:11,683 --> 01:36:13,981
Um, good to meet you.

1297
01:36:18,564 --> 01:36:21,238
Tubes, mate, club meeting.

1298
01:36:21,859 --> 01:36:24,703
Operation Grasshopper, call me back, yeah?

1299
01:36:54,058 --> 01:36:57,562
Alistair. Good of you to come.

1300
01:36:57,645 --> 01:36:59,272
Harry said you wanted to see me.

1301
01:36:59,355 --> 01:37:01,232
Do you want some lunch?

1302
01:37:01,941 --> 01:37:02,942
Yeah.

1303
01:37:11,242 --> 01:37:13,586
You're with Johnny Drummond, right?

1304
01:37:14,829 --> 01:37:16,081
Dad trusts him.

1305
01:37:16,122 --> 01:37:19,797
He's a good lawyer.
What's he advising, self-defence?

1306
01:37:19,876 --> 01:37:22,504
Landlord was carrying a knife, I hear.

1307
01:37:23,087 --> 01:37:26,432
We're going with "I was bullied into it".

1308
01:37:26,507 --> 01:37:29,306
That the club scapegoated me,
which is pretty much the truth.

1309
01:37:29,385 --> 01:37:33,265
Forgive me, but wouldn't it be better
if the club could be kept out of it?

1310
01:37:35,641 --> 01:37:38,861
- I don't see how it could...
- Oh, with the right lawyer, certainly.

1311
01:37:38,936 --> 01:37:40,233
I know a man,

1312
01:37:40,271 --> 01:37:43,946
ex-member himself, very useful
at sorting out our scrapes over the years.

1313
01:37:44,567 --> 01:37:47,241
I don't give a shit about the club.

1314
01:37:47,278 --> 01:37:48,655
Smash it.

1315
01:37:51,407 --> 01:37:52,954
It's a bunker, isn't it?

1316
01:37:53,826 --> 01:37:56,750
Training up a generation
for a life in hiding.

1317
01:37:56,788 --> 01:37:58,961
We're not in hiding.

1318
01:37:59,040 --> 01:38:00,963
It's an adaptation.

1319
01:38:01,042 --> 01:38:03,261
We adapt to survive.

1320
01:38:05,004 --> 01:38:09,475
The dinners are just the beginning,
a three-year initiation, if you like.

1321
01:38:09,509 --> 01:38:12,683
Now, you might have lost your place
at college, but you're still in the club.

1322
01:38:12,762 --> 01:38:14,856
You can't afford not to be.

1323
01:38:15,640 --> 01:38:18,268
Look, why don't you come and
spend some time in my office,

1324
01:38:18,309 --> 01:38:19,526
see how we do things?

1325
01:38:20,645 --> 01:38:22,818
I don't want anything handed
to me on a plate...

1326
01:38:22,897 --> 01:38:25,320
I'm not giving you a constituency.

1327
01:38:25,400 --> 01:38:28,495
Maybe you've got it in you to
do something special one day.

1328
01:38:28,528 --> 01:38:31,828
And I'd rather you be doing it
in my camp than someone else's.

1329
01:38:42,375 --> 01:38:46,926
I'm not just offering you a better lawyer,
Alistair, I am offering you a future.

1330
01:38:57,890 --> 01:38:58,891
Good.

1331
01:39:06,399 --> 01:39:09,118
You know Lord Riot did not
spell his name R-I-O-T,

1332
01:39:09,193 --> 01:39:10,695
but R-Y-O-T?

1333
01:39:10,778 --> 01:39:13,372
Nothing to do with riotous behaviour.

1334
01:39:15,032 --> 01:39:17,626
Still, thank God, eh?

1335
01:39:17,702 --> 01:39:20,376
Thank God someone made the switch.

1336
01:39:20,413 --> 01:39:22,666
Could have just been a mistake.

1337
01:39:22,707 --> 01:39:25,551
People like us don't make mistakes, do we?