1 00:00:00,113 --> 00:00:03,708 Red Nose Day Actually! 2 00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:07,403 MUSIC: God Only Knows by The Beach Boys. 3 00:00:12,293 --> 00:00:15,793 ♪ God only knows what I'd be without you. ♪ 4 00:00:25,783 --> 00:00:26,987 DOORBELL RINGS. 5 00:00:27,012 --> 00:00:30,512 I'll get it. 6 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:38,808 Who is it? 7 00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:43,478 He's not going to believe that, it's March. 8 00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:47,558 They're raising money for Red Nose Day. 9 00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:48,678 Oh, not again. 10 00:00:48,703 --> 00:00:51,317 Give them a quid and tell them to bugger off. 11 00:00:52,193 --> 00:00:54,398 MUSIC: Silent Night. 12 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:19,247 Oh, that's a nice idea. 13 00:01:26,142 --> 00:01:28,077 Yes, thank you, we're very happy. 14 00:01:38,503 --> 00:01:40,608 How are you? 15 00:02:05,913 --> 00:02:08,918 Do you like the beard? 16 00:02:12,863 --> 00:02:16,358 I don't like it either! 17 00:02:24,993 --> 00:02:28,408 JO WHILEY ON RADIO: And tomorrow is Red Nose Day and we hope everyone 18 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:31,278 will be giving a little cash to this great cause. 19 00:02:31,303 --> 00:02:33,608 Maybe even our Prime Minister himself, back in Number Ten 20 00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:37,528 after five years away. 21 00:02:37,553 --> 00:02:40,438 Here's a little song to loosen your loose change. 22 00:02:40,902 --> 00:02:43,408 MUSIC: Hotline Bling by Drake. 23 00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:45,207 ♪ Yeah. ♪ 24 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:49,688 ♪ You used to call me on my cell phone. ♪ 25 00:02:49,713 --> 00:02:52,207 ♪ Late night when you need my love. ♪ 26 00:02:52,232 --> 00:02:55,968 ♪ Call me on my cell phone. ♪ 27 00:02:55,993 --> 00:02:59,488 ♪ Late night when you need my love. ♪ 28 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:03,568 ♪ And I know when that hotline bling. ♪ 29 00:03:03,593 --> 00:03:07,438 ♪ That can only mean one thing. ♪ 30 00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:10,798 ♪ I know when that hotline bling. ♪ 31 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,928 ♪ That can only mean one thing. ♪ 32 00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:14,608 ♪ Ever since I left the city. ♪ 33 00:03:14,633 --> 00:03:19,518 ♪ You got a reputation for yourself now. ♪ 34 00:03:19,543 --> 00:03:25,077 ♪ Everybody knows and I feel left out... ♪ 35 00:03:25,102 --> 00:03:26,798 Whoa! 36 00:03:26,823 --> 00:03:28,688 ♪ Ever since I left the city... ♪ 37 00:03:28,713 --> 00:03:30,768 Ah! 38 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:35,438 Ow. 39 00:03:35,463 --> 00:03:36,518 That really hurts. 40 00:03:36,543 --> 00:03:37,968 It's very undignified. 41 00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:41,568 ♪ You started wearing ♪ ♪ less and goin' out more. ♪ 42 00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:45,288 ♪ Glasses of champagne ♪ ♪ out on the dance floor. ♪ 43 00:03:45,313 --> 00:03:48,327 ♪ Hangin' with some girls ♪ ♪ I've never seen before. ♪ 44 00:03:48,352 --> 00:03:50,848 Oh, Lord. 45 00:03:50,873 --> 00:03:53,877 How many times have I told you not to dance down the stairs? 46 00:03:53,902 --> 00:03:55,568 Once or twice, once or twice. 47 00:03:55,593 --> 00:03:56,518 Was it Hotline Bling again? 48 00:03:56,543 --> 00:03:57,978 Yes, I'm afraid it was. 49 00:03:58,003 --> 00:04:00,877 When I hear that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing. 50 00:04:00,902 --> 00:04:02,978 I assume that cup of tea is for me. 51 00:04:03,003 --> 00:04:04,048 No. 52 00:04:04,073 --> 00:04:05,048 You've changed. 53 00:04:05,073 --> 00:04:06,048 I haven't. 54 00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:06,978 I'll make you one. 55 00:04:07,003 --> 00:04:09,207 Come on. 56 00:04:09,463 --> 00:04:10,618 Come on. 57 00:04:10,643 --> 00:04:12,688 I liked it best when you worked for me. 58 00:04:12,713 --> 00:04:13,928 You work for me, really. 59 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:14,877 Tell the truth. 60 00:04:14,902 --> 00:04:16,488 I work for the nation... 61 00:04:16,513 --> 00:04:21,648 So, Billy Mack, welcome back to the airwaves. 62 00:04:21,673 --> 00:04:24,978 Billy, you have released a charity single, and it's a cover version 63 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:27,518 of the ZZ Top classic Gimme All Your Lovin'. 64 00:04:27,543 --> 00:04:34,808 Yes, except we've changed the word "lovin"' to "money". 65 00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,058 But seriously, Red Nose Day, 66 00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:38,007 a wonderful charity supporting children. 67 00:04:38,032 --> 00:04:40,698 You must like kids. 68 00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:43,488 No, the truth is, I like the kids who buy my records. 69 00:04:43,513 --> 00:04:46,418 I can't stand the other ones. 70 00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:49,168 Even you must have noted how short and selfish they are. 71 00:04:49,193 --> 00:04:51,127 Billy, why a charity record? 72 00:04:51,152 --> 00:04:52,957 Well, come on, Mikey! 73 00:04:52,982 --> 00:04:54,928 It must be pretty obvious. 74 00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:58,007 I've got an autobiography coming out and I need a bit of publicity. 75 00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,087 Ah, yes, the book. 76 00:04:59,112 --> 00:05:01,448 It's called Macknificent. 77 00:05:01,473 --> 00:05:02,448 Yeah. 78 00:05:02,473 --> 00:05:03,698 Are you proud of it? 79 00:05:03,723 --> 00:05:04,648 I've no idea. 80 00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,058 I haven't read it, have you? 81 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:07,168 Yes. 82 00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,137 Poor bugger. 83 00:05:08,162 --> 00:05:09,058 What's it like? 84 00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:10,058 It's pretty good, actually. 85 00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:11,007 Oh, W! 86 00:05:11,032 --> 00:05:12,137 That's a relief. 87 00:05:12,162 --> 00:05:15,698 Billy, I see you haven't got your manager with you today. 88 00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:19,007 Tell me, has he finally left you after you being so rude about him? 89 00:05:19,032 --> 00:05:22,648 Not really, Mike. 90 00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:26,957 He was a big man, with a big heart. 91 00:05:26,982 --> 00:05:31,498 Big heart attack. 92 00:05:31,523 --> 00:05:35,808 Big coffin. 93 00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:38,217 It's a big hole in my life. 94 00:05:38,242 --> 00:05:41,288 Wow. 95 00:05:41,313 --> 00:05:42,528 Thank you for that, Billy. 96 00:05:42,553 --> 00:05:43,928 For what? 97 00:05:43,953 --> 00:05:46,608 Well, for giving an honest answer to a question. 98 00:05:46,633 --> 00:05:50,778 That never happens here at Radio Watford. 99 00:05:50,803 --> 00:05:53,418 Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth. 100 00:05:53,443 --> 00:05:56,778 OK, I probably asked you this last time you were here, 101 00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:58,578 but best shag you ever had? 102 00:05:58,603 --> 00:06:00,967 Ooh, that's a tough one. 103 00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:04,217 I mean, look. 104 00:06:04,242 --> 00:06:07,248 It's definitely one of the Kardashians. 105 00:06:07,273 --> 00:06:08,648 But which one, Mike? 106 00:06:08,673 --> 00:06:12,967 Which one? 107 00:06:14,393 --> 00:06:15,938 Excuse me? 108 00:06:15,963 --> 00:06:17,887 Yes, young sir. 109 00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:19,658 Are you looking for anything in particular? 110 00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,778 How much is a red nose? 111 00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:23,448 £1. 112 00:06:23,473 --> 00:06:24,528 OK, I'll take one. 113 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,067 Lovely. 114 00:06:26,092 --> 00:06:29,428 Would you like it giftwrapped? 115 00:06:29,453 --> 00:06:30,398 All right. 116 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:32,788 Excellent. 117 00:06:32,813 --> 00:06:36,708 Let me see. 118 00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:38,638 Could we be quite quick? 119 00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:40,197 Yes, certainly, sir. 120 00:06:40,222 --> 00:06:47,588 It'll be ready in the jiffiest of jiffies. 121 00:07:13,053 --> 00:07:14,278 Oh, I don't need a bag. 122 00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:17,278 Oh, this isn't a bag, sir. 123 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:21,278 This is so much more than just a bag. 124 00:07:23,503 --> 00:07:25,638 Do you remember the first time I drove you? 125 00:07:25,663 --> 00:07:26,638 Of course! 126 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:30,838 Yes. 127 00:07:30,863 --> 00:07:33,478 I remember looking at you and thinking "What a handsome man. 128 00:07:33,503 --> 00:07:35,158 That kind of face never gets old". 129 00:07:35,183 --> 00:07:36,228 Yes. 130 00:07:36,253 --> 00:07:39,798 How right you were. 131 00:07:39,823 --> 00:07:44,197 I wished you could speak Portuguese so I could tell you how I felt. 132 00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:17,668 OK. 133 00:08:17,693 --> 00:08:19,197 Well, I got most of that. 134 00:08:19,222 --> 00:08:21,028 There was something about central heating, wasn't there? 135 00:08:21,053 --> 00:08:23,747 And roast potatoes, am I right? 136 00:08:23,772 --> 00:08:25,798 Yes, darling. 137 00:08:25,823 --> 00:08:28,278 By the way, very attractive turtleneck today. 138 00:08:28,303 --> 00:08:29,918 Oh, yes, thank you. 139 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,207 They're right back in fashion. 140 00:08:31,232 --> 00:08:32,308 Or not. 141 00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,388 OK. 142 00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,207 Here, here, pull in. 143 00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:37,488 In, in, come on. 144 00:08:37,513 --> 00:08:38,997 Hop in. 145 00:08:39,022 --> 00:08:41,798 I passed my exam! 146 00:08:41,823 --> 00:08:43,488 Oh, excellent. 147 00:08:43,513 --> 00:08:44,568 How was your clay? 148 00:08:44,593 --> 00:08:45,518 Strap in. 149 00:08:45,543 --> 00:08:47,518 All right, off we go. 150 00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,488 I got picked for the team! 151 00:08:49,513 --> 00:08:50,848 He said my hat's stupid. 152 00:08:50,873 --> 00:08:52,358 My hat's not stupid, is it? 153 00:08:52,383 --> 00:08:54,877 It's a little bit stupid. 154 00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:15,648 That's great! 155 00:09:15,673 --> 00:09:16,928 Yes! 156 00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:19,877 That is great. 157 00:09:19,902 --> 00:09:22,007 Can we have rice with it this time, though? 158 00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:27,108 I'm getting a little tired of stir-fry. 159 00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:48,518 Why not? 160 00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:49,877 And of course, the yoghurt-coated raisins. 161 00:09:49,902 --> 00:09:53,402 Come on! 162 00:09:58,463 --> 00:09:59,398 Almost there. 163 00:09:59,423 --> 00:10:02,728 Almost?! 164 00:10:18,223 --> 00:10:20,877 Dad? 165 00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:23,238 Sam! 166 00:10:23,263 --> 00:10:26,368 What the hell are you doing here? 167 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,288 You're supposed to be in New York! 168 00:10:28,313 --> 00:10:30,518 I know, I thought I'd give you a surprise visit. 169 00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:34,568 The surprise is, you have to pay for my flight. 170 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:35,837 That's OK. My God, you've grown. 171 00:10:35,862 --> 00:10:37,528 No, I'm just wearing high-heeled trainers. 172 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,207 Oh, yeah, so you are. 173 00:10:39,232 --> 00:10:40,877 Come on, sit down, sit down. 174 00:10:40,902 --> 00:10:42,368 How are things? 175 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:44,318 Good, good. 176 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,007 Now, listen, mister. 177 00:10:46,032 --> 00:10:49,368 I'm worried. You haven't been in touch. 178 00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:52,168 I know, I'm sorry. I've just had a lot on my mind. 179 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,398 What is it? 180 00:10:53,423 --> 00:10:54,238 Work tough? 181 00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:55,368 Money? 182 00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,598 I can help you with money, you know. I'm loaded. 183 00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:58,558 No. 184 00:10:58,583 --> 00:11:01,728 No, it's, um... 185 00:11:01,753 --> 00:11:03,678 Well, it's more of a love thing, actually. 186 00:11:03,703 --> 00:11:05,398 Oh, here we go again. 187 00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:07,887 What age are you now, 14, 15? 188 00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:09,288 I'm 26. 189 00:11:09,313 --> 00:11:11,168 Exactly. 190 00:11:11,193 --> 00:11:14,478 You should have had this sorted out ages ago. 191 00:11:14,503 --> 00:11:17,398 As far as I remember, 192 00:11:17,423 --> 00:11:20,648 the only person you've ever genuinely been in love with 193 00:11:20,673 --> 00:11:22,887 was that cute wee girl, the singer at school. 194 00:11:22,912 --> 00:11:24,248 You were 12, remember? 195 00:11:24,273 --> 00:11:26,478 Hmm. 196 00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:29,967 That's what's been on my mind. 197 00:11:38,553 --> 00:11:40,398 Joanna! 198 00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:45,578 We met up in New York and, er, well, that's why we're here. 199 00:11:45,603 --> 00:11:49,608 Sir. 200 00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:57,118 I was wondering if I could ask for your son's hand in marriage. 201 00:11:58,193 --> 00:12:00,408 Please? 202 00:12:00,433 --> 00:12:03,087 Really? 203 00:12:03,112 --> 00:12:05,558 All you want for Christmas is this stringbean? 204 00:12:05,583 --> 00:12:08,448 Yeah. 205 00:12:08,782 --> 00:12:10,558 I'll think about it. 206 00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,198 Dad? 207 00:12:13,223 --> 00:12:16,837 Come here! 208 00:12:22,073 --> 00:12:24,688 So, is that a yes? 209 00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:27,918 I'm... thinking about it. 210 00:12:39,403 --> 00:12:40,408 Morning. 211 00:12:40,433 --> 00:12:41,967 Good morning. 212 00:12:41,992 --> 00:12:43,198 Yes? 213 00:12:43,223 --> 00:12:45,558 Robert. 214 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:49,097 Prime Minister, what happened to your arm? 215 00:12:49,122 --> 00:12:51,887 I fell down the stairs while dancing to Hotline Bling. 216 00:12:51,912 --> 00:12:54,528 I believe it happened to Palmerston as well. 217 00:12:54,553 --> 00:12:55,967 Any serious questions? 218 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,608 Bernard. 219 00:12:57,633 --> 00:13:00,967 Yes, Prime Minister, when you came to power the first time, 220 00:13:00,992 --> 00:13:02,658 you were very optimistic. 221 00:13:02,683 --> 00:13:05,847 You said that the power of good could finally win, 222 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:09,378 that love actually was all around. 223 00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:13,528 14 years later, do you still feel as upbeat? 224 00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:17,208 Well, um, interesting. 225 00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:20,408 Obviously, times for many people have got harder and people 226 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:24,208 are nervous and fearful. 227 00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,568 And it's not just in politics that things are tough. 228 00:13:26,593 --> 00:13:28,248 Usain Bolt has run his last Olympics. 229 00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:29,608 The Harry Potter films have finished. 230 00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:30,738 Piers Morgan's still alive. 231 00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:35,408 LAUGHTER. 232 00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:37,608 But, let's look at the other side of the coin. 233 00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,288 Metallica's new album is an absolute cracker. 234 00:13:39,313 --> 00:13:43,818 And on a deeper level, I'm optimistic. 235 00:13:43,843 --> 00:13:48,538 Wherever you see tragedy, you see bravery too. 236 00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:52,178 Wherever you see ordinary people in need, 237 00:13:52,203 --> 00:13:56,378 you see extraordinary ordinary people come to their aid. 238 00:13:56,403 --> 00:14:00,288 Today's Red Nose Day, and people are giving their hard-earned cash 239 00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,767 to people who they'll never meet, but whose pain and fear 240 00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:07,017 they feel and want to fight. 241 00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:13,928 So it's not just romantic love which is all around. 242 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:19,208 Most people still, every day, everywhere, have enough love 243 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,847 in their heart to help human beings in trouble. 244 00:14:22,872 --> 00:14:25,338 Good's going to win. 245 00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:29,688 I'm actually sure of it. 246 00:14:29,713 --> 00:14:31,048 Yes, next question? 247 00:14:31,073 --> 00:14:36,017 Keir? 248 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,258 Prime Minister, what do you think is the best 249 00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:39,208 Christmas film ever made? 250 00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:40,178 Well, don't be stupid. 251 00:14:40,203 --> 00:14:41,408 Everyone knows it's Elf. 252 00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:48,258 Yeah, Tommy?