1 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,017 What's happening right now is important only in the context... 2 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,311 ofour continuing evolution as a species. 3 00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,731 Roger, all I'm saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map. 4 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:06,942 By saying that, you disregard the primary importance... 5 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,528 of utility in human relationships. 6 00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,781 Our ability-- Men's ability to read maps... 7 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:14,324 to navigate, makes us useful. 8 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,327 You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map. 9 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:21,498 Are you saying that we women have an inferior sense ofdirection? 10 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,501 Which way is north,Joyce, without looking around? 11 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,003 What? 12 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,005 You heard me. Point north. Quick. North. 13 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,381 Quick. North. 14 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,008 North. North. 15 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,512 - You're right. - Is he right? 16 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,347 - He's right. - Very impressive. 17 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,600 As she has throughout history... 18 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:43,187 the female responds to the male who displays the most utility. 19 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:46,148 By honing those skills which make me useful... 20 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:49,568 I stave off my inevitable obsolescence. 21 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,279 You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR? 22 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:55,532 My VCR's been flashing 1 2:00 for three years. 23 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,744 What else, Roger? 24 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:02,789 Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things. 25 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,958 - Air guitar. - Yes, yes. 26 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,877 Go ahead and chuckle, okay? 27 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:10,297 But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically-- 28 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:11,840 and they will-- 29 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,092 physical strength remains a primary utility. 30 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,053 Here's to brute strength then. 31 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:22,601 Roger, you're forgetting a very important male utility. 32 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,977 What's that? Barbecuing? 33 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:28,232 Sex. 34 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:32,694 Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR. 35 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:36,740 Oh, I'll program your VCR, baby, like you never had it. 36 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,076 It's a top-loader. You thinkyou can handle that? 37 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,703 Interestingly, a group ofscientists in England... 38 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,623 just announced their intention to fertilize an egg... 39 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,708 without the use ofsperm cells. 40 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,711 I don't understand that. 41 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:53,799 Every cell in the human body contains a copy ofthe genome pattern. 42 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,885 The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now... 43 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,929 they were the only ones with access. 44 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,223 Within Christopher's lifetime, artificial insemination... 45 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:04,810 will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit. 46 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:08,272 Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago. 47 00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,524 In case they were downsized. 48 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:15,487 Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women... 49 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,241 make love because we like it. 50 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,451 - Notjust to procreate. - Yes. 51 00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:25,455 - But are men absolutely necessary? - I don't know that. 52 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,457 Think ofthe structure ofthe female genitalia. 53 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:30,252 Wait. Wait. Okay, got it. 54 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,922 What is the most sensitive part ofthe vagina? 55 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,885 -I can't believe we've gotten into this. -I thinkyou know this, Donovan. 56 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,930 It's the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1 559. 57 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,307 He thought it was lndia. 58 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,477 Oh, no! No! 59 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:50,772 The crown ofthe clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibers. 60 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,775 It's a far great concentration than in any part ofthe male body... 61 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:55,068 even our fingertips. 62 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:58,280 It is the most efficient, pleasure-delivery system... 63 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,073 ever devised by nature. 64 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,783 Now, askyourself... 65 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,078 why didn't the clitoris end up inside the vagina... 66 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,664 so that intercourse would be naturally... 67 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,417 compellingly, constantly pleasurable for a woman? 68 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,794 - I know the answer. - Yes, Ms. Maynard. 69 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:17,716 Because in primitive time, women died ofchildbirth. 70 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,636 So for intercourse to be too pleasurable... 71 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,347 wouldn't make sense from a Darwinian standpoint. 72 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:26,433 - I'm impressed. - Absolutely right. 73 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,645 - What does that tell us? - Evolution is looking out for us girls? 74 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,522 - Exactly. - That for women... 75 00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:35,400 intercourse and sexual fulfillment were never intended to intersect. 76 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,987 New technology just makes it official. 77 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:44,034 Future generations ofwomen will evolve clitorises-- "clitori, clitorati"-- 78 00:04:44,076 --> 00:04:45,410 "Clitorissimo." 79 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:52,835 that are larger, longer, even more sensitive. 80 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,046 And a woman's ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate... 81 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:58,048 will increase exponentially... 82 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,509 as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility. 83 00:05:01,844 --> 00:05:03,595 - I'm confused and frightened. - You should be. 84 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:07,516 The species is not static. We're in a constant state offlux. 85 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,602 Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only: 86 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,021 So far it's been the only way to propagate the race. 87 00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,023 Is there any species thatjust has one gender... 88 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:17,609 that doesn't have male emale? 89 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,152 Starfish, for one. 90 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:22,406 Next time I see a starfish, I'm gonna tell him to go fuck himself. 91 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,450 Come on. You love it. 92 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:28,453 No, we don't. 93 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,707 So where are we headed? 94 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,917 Equality? Equality, what is that? 95 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,962 Is that a principle of nature? 96 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,882 We all sit around reading subway maps together. 97 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,092 No. Ofcourse not. Natural selection. 98 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,761 Now that is a principle of nature. 99 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,389 Selection. Something has to lose. Something has to be defeated... 100 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,808 in order for something else to be selected. 101 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,894 So, what does this mean? 102 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,566 We have to take orders fromJoyce for the rest of lives. 103 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,235 That's right. I like that. 104 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,155 It means that 1 0 or 1 5 generations from now... 105 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,324 men will be reduced to servitude. 106 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,411 Technology and evolution will have combined... 107 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,206 to exclude sperm from procreation... 108 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:16,251 and our final destiny will be to lift couches... 109 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:19,671 and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity... 110 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:24,593 and our gender's last remaining utility is lost forever. 111 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,969 Forever. 112 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,347 Oh, my God, Roger. 113 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,853 - What? I'm done. - Then I rest my case. 114 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:40,984 Thankyou. 115 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:44,446 Love you people. 116 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,789 Yeah, this is good. 117 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:51,430 -Jesus! - No, just me. 118 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,017 How did you get in here? 119 00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,647 - Where did you get those? - Copied them from yours. 120 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:04,568 - When? - Last week when you sent me for bagels. 121 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,280 Give them to me. 122 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,824 Aren't you tired ofconstantly having to buzz me in here? 123 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:14,536 See how your brain works? How does once a week turn into "constantly"? 124 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:18,707 Actually, last week was two times, including, I believe, Friday... 125 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:23,170 when you woke me out ofa dead, pleasant sleep and demanded the use of my body. 126 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,464 - You could have said no. - What? Are you kidding me? 127 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,174 That was a call to action. 128 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:29,551 I dressed in 30 seconds like a volunteer fireman. 129 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:30,636 I was insane-- 130 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:34,139 You should stop talking and listen to me. I got something to say to you. 131 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,641 Oh, yeah? 132 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,977 - Words are my stock-in-trade,Joyce. - I know. 133 00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:41,855 You can'tjust stop up the floodgate. 134 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,899 - Put that down. - What? 135 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,069 - We need to stop this. - Stop what? 136 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,905 God, I love watching you in the bathroom. 137 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:54,451 You're like an athlete after the game, scraping offthe war paint. 138 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,828 I meant, we need to stop seeing each other. 139 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,539 Oh, really? 140 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,376 This whole thing was a bad idea. 141 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,587 Generally, I have good judgment, but this time, right out the window. 142 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:09,049 This whole thing is a great idea. Nobody knows about us. 143 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,385 We all go out, I sit there and... 144 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,178 you know, a few hours later... 145 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,264 I know I'm going to be the traveling salesman... 146 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,724 and you're going to be the lonely housewife. 147 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:22,688 I need you to be an adult about this. No scenes. 148 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,983 Joyce, I am your boy. I'm your thoroughbred. 149 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,694 Adult. Understand? 150 00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:33,532 Forget about the keys, okay? Just keep the keys with-- 151 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:47,045 Tonight is our last night, so let's make it a good one. 152 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,801 Good-bye sex is never good. 153 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:54,887 Next week, we'll have "get back together" sex-- 154 00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:05,439 - Can I stay the night? - Roger, no. 155 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,319 Right. 156 00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:50,669 Hi. Can I have a Cosmo and a Maker's Mark on the rocks? Thanks. 157 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:54,298 - Let's have a talk. - I'm sorry. I'm with some people. 158 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:55,591 Let me guess. 159 00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,761 You're relatively new at the company. 160 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:03,849 Maybe you moved to New York from somewhere else. Somewhere friendly. 161 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,478 First you took pride in being alone. 162 00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:11,356 Wanna make a name foryourself in the big city. 163 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:15,068 After a while, you started thinking how it might be nice to meet somebody. 164 00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:18,864 Winter's not far off, and it gets lonely sometimes. 165 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:22,492 Okay. And? 166 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,330 And so you develop a crush on your supervisor... 167 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,667 even though the other women in the office tell you... 168 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,794 "Keep clear. He's bad news." 169 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:35,255 - Why is he bad news? - Because he's a player. 170 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,550 He's a guy who collects trophies. 171 00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:41,303 Every woman who takes a job there ends up in bed with him. 172 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,681 And ifyou give in to temptation... 173 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,185 you'll end up the punch line to a sordid joke by the water cooler. 174 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,770 Am I hot or cold? 175 00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:55,567 - It's a good story. - It's a cliche. 176 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,653 So what do you do when you're not reducing the world? 177 00:12:57,736 --> 00:13:00,364 What's wrong with reduction, boiling things down to their essence? 178 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:04,409 What's wrong with... seeing what's really going on? 179 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,538 And what's really going on? What's the big revelation? 180 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,249 Why should I tell you? 181 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,626 Telling you isn't going to change anything. 182 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:17,172 For instance, I could tell you that what you think ofas your personality... 183 00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:20,133 is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fairarticles. 184 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:24,596 I could tell you your choice ofsexual partners this evening... 185 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,558 was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam. 186 00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,853 I could tell you that given a week to study your father... 187 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:33,105 and the ways in which he ignores you... 188 00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:36,567 I could come up with a schtick you'd be helpless to resist. Helpless. 189 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:44,116 I could tell you all that, but what would you do with the information? 190 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:46,702 Are there women who fall for this stuff? 191 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,663 I'm telling the truth as I see it. 192 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:52,499 You wanna go fuckyour boss? What business is it of mine. 193 00:13:56,879 --> 00:14:00,174 He's not Daddy. He'sjust a guy in a suit. 194 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:08,849 You feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic... 195 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,894 heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means-- 196 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,291 - Hi. - Hi. 197 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:42,633 - You waiting for someone? - Yeah, my fiance. 198 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:46,178 - Hey, congratulations. - Thanks. 199 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:51,725 All right. Congratulations. 200 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,940 Is he a kind man, your fiance? 201 00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,025 Does he treat you with respect? 202 00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:03,904 Not that it's any ofyour business, but, yes, he does. 203 00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:09,034 - That must make you nervous. - Why would that make me nervous? 204 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,578 Oh, come on. 205 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,498 Look at the time. Let's do the math together. 206 00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:16,291 What are you talking about? 207 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,628 Let me guess, low self-esteem... 208 00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:24,883 and premenopausal... concern led you to pursue a series of-- 209 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,136 semiabusive relationships? 210 00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:32,641 But a recent dose oftherapy has convinced you... 211 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,893 that inner-beauty is what really matters, and... 212 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:41,984 you really deserve that perfect partner who treats you with such respect. 213 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,027 Do you want me to call the bartender? 214 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,071 Unless you're an idiot-- which I don't thinkyou are-- 215 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,073 unless you're some kind of pathetic, self-help junkie... 216 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,784 you and I know your guy's gonna wake up one morning, and-- 217 00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,371 he's gonna look around, figure out how old you are... 218 00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:57,708 and what you're really like, and that's the day he's gonna go out... 219 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,793 for a pack ofsmokes and never come back. 220 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,337 By that time-- How you doing? 221 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,592 Ifshe doesn't see what's coming, I fucking weep for her. 222 00:16:19,938 --> 00:16:22,274 - Can I help you, sir? - Hey. No, thanks. I'm good. 223 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,109 I said, "Can I help you, sir?" 224 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:29,823 - Where's that other guy? The-- - He's home sleeping. 225 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:33,702 Okay. Well, it's very important that I seeJoyce Maynard right away, so-- 226 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:36,455 Okay. I understand. Why don't I just leave her a note? 227 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,751 It's important that I see her in person. 228 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,420 That's not gonna work, so why don't l... 229 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,881 call you a cab and you go home and sleep it off? 230 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,091 Why don't you go fucking home? 231 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:50,844 Okay. You know what? We don't understand each other. 232 00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:54,806 I'm her boy. I'm her boy, okay? Who are you? Who are you? 233 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:59,311 I am the man who's gonna call the police ifyou don't get out of my lobby! 234 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:52,865 Roger, it's Susan. It's Thursday, andl wantyou to call-- 235 00:18:31,195 --> 00:18:33,322 - Roger, pick up line two. - Who is it? 236 00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:36,408 -It's regarding the newcampaign. -Which new campaign? Get a name, please. 237 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,997 - It's Susan. - Tell her I'm out. 238 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,958 - Shesays it's important-- - Tell her I'm out. 239 00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:55,302 Yeah. This is, like, surly. That's like, "What is that?" 240 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,179 - And this is, like-- - You want surly? 241 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,473 -This is like '90s, adorable normal guy. -I am that. 242 00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,475 - That's your problem. - That's your nightmare. 243 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,645 Hey, Roget. You going toJoyce's tonight? 244 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,814 What? 245 00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:11,652 - Didn't you get the E-mail? - What E-mail? 246 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,073 About the party? 247 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,534 You going? 248 00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:21,286 Joyce throws a party, I don't ask questions. I just show up. 249 00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,090 She's on a conference call. 250 00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:35,843 Ted, there's someone in my office. 251 00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:38,053 - Bye, Ted. - It's okay, Donna, you can-- 252 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:41,056 - Bye, Donna. - I'll call you back in five minutes. 253 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:44,977 "Five minutes"? This is a five-minute situation? 254 00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,770 Sit down. 255 00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,897 I don't wish to sit down. I wish to stand. 256 00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,900 Did you try to get into my building last night? 257 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,780 Why am I not invited tonight? Everyone will be there except me. 258 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,907 What is that going to look like? 259 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,162 - Let's reestablish some boundaries. - Let's not. 260 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:09,084 I'm your boss. You work for me. 261 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,420 You write very good copy. 262 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:18,093 But I have a hundred resumes on my files for guysjust like you. 263 00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:20,929 But do those guys do that thing that I do? 264 00:20:21,013 --> 00:20:22,806 The thing that you like? 265 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:28,520 I have explained to you that I do not wish to see you socially any longer. 266 00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:38,739 Find a way to deal with it. 267 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,085 What's that supposed to do? 268 00:21:24,201 --> 00:21:25,369 Nick? 269 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,456 Uncle Roger. How's it going? 270 00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,918 What are you doing here? 271 00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:36,630 What? Oh. I wanted to see where you work. 272 00:21:37,798 --> 00:21:41,510 - Yes. No. What are you doing here? - What? 273 00:21:41,635 --> 00:21:44,304 - You mean here in New York here? - Yes. 274 00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:47,975 I had an interview at Columbia, so Mom said I should lookyou up. 275 00:21:48,058 --> 00:21:51,019 - Sit down. - Okay. 276 00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,021 That's what all the phone calls were about. 277 00:21:53,105 --> 00:21:55,440 - The phone calls? - Yeah. Your mom's been calling me. 278 00:21:55,566 --> 00:21:59,236 - Did you speak to her? - We're playing phone tag. 279 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,488 She said you could show me what you do here. 280 00:22:01,613 --> 00:22:03,574 She did? 281 00:22:03,699 --> 00:22:06,869 Well, there's not a whole lot to show you, Nick. 282 00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:10,247 Really? Like, what do you do all day? 283 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:12,291 What do I do all day? 284 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:15,961 I sit here and think ofways to make people feel bad. 285 00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:20,340 - I thought you wrote for commercials. - I do... 286 00:22:20,424 --> 00:22:23,427 but you can't sell a product without first making people feel bad. 287 00:22:24,178 --> 00:22:25,512 Why not? 288 00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:30,184 Because it's a substitution game. 289 00:22:31,310 --> 00:22:33,896 You have to remind them that they're missing something from their lives. 290 00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:35,856 Everyone's missing something, right? 291 00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:37,900 - Well, yeah. I guess. - Trust me. 292 00:22:37,983 --> 00:22:40,527 And when they're feeling sufficiently incomplete... 293 00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:43,780 you convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill the void. 294 00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:46,158 So, instead oftaking steps to deal with their lives... 295 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:49,995 instead ofworking to root out the real reason for their misery... 296 00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:52,998 they run out and buy a stupid-looking pair ofcargo pants. 297 00:23:01,465 --> 00:23:05,177 - So... is it fun? - It can be. 298 00:23:05,302 --> 00:23:08,055 Look, I actually was about to call it a day. 299 00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:10,140 That's cool. We can go get something to eat. 300 00:23:12,851 --> 00:23:16,396 - Fine. Let's get out of here. - Great. 301 00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,882 You gave me a scare. I thought you were having a narcoleptic episode. 302 00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:47,553 - What? When? - Back at the office, you know? 303 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,557 That's standing meditation. It calms me down. Thanks. 304 00:23:51,682 --> 00:23:54,059 Why should you calm down? You're a teenager. Thankyou. 305 00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,144 My brain gets all sloppy when I'm stressed... 306 00:23:56,228 --> 00:23:58,897 so the meditation helps me focus and block out the bad stuff. 307 00:23:58,981 --> 00:24:01,775 - Bad stuff? - Like fear and pain, you know? 308 00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:05,571 It's a visualization. I picture a blue triangle, and that's me. 309 00:24:05,696 --> 00:24:09,324 I put all the other stuffoutside the triangle in a red field. It works. 310 00:24:11,702 --> 00:24:13,495 So, how's your folks? 311 00:24:18,542 --> 00:24:21,628 - They got divorced. - What? 312 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:23,755 Yeah. My dad moved out. 313 00:24:23,881 --> 00:24:26,258 - You're kidding. When did this happen? - A while ago. 314 00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:28,760 I haven't seen you since Grandma's funeral. 315 00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:36,977 -Jesus, Nick. I'm sorry to hear that. - It's no big deal. 316 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:39,563 I still talk to my dad. He calls from the road. 317 00:24:39,688 --> 00:24:41,190 How's your mom doing? 318 00:24:41,273 --> 00:24:42,608 She's fine. You know. 319 00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:46,987 - Surprised she didn't come with you. - Maybe she was afraid to see you... 320 00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:48,947 after what happened at the funeral. 321 00:24:49,072 --> 00:24:52,117 That happened because your grandfather's a king-size prick. 322 00:24:54,578 --> 00:24:56,205 All right? 323 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,174 So when's your interview? 324 00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:11,011 - It was today. - How'd it go? 325 00:25:11,178 --> 00:25:13,555 Fine, I guess. I did the interviews 'cause Mom wants me to. 326 00:25:13,639 --> 00:25:16,391 - You're not interested in college? - Why keep going to school... 327 00:25:16,475 --> 00:25:18,977 when anything I need to find out about I can look up myself? 328 00:25:19,102 --> 00:25:21,855 Dad didn't go to college. By the time he was my age, he was on the road. 329 00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:24,233 - How is everything here? - First-rate. Thanks. 330 00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:31,156 But... the good thing about college is you get to hang out a lot. 331 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,659 - It's good for the social skills. - Yeah. 332 00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:43,043 So... my mom says you're kind of, you know, like a ladies' man. 333 00:25:43,168 --> 00:25:46,380 - She said that? - But she says it like it's a bad thing. 334 00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:48,423 That sounds like her. 335 00:25:49,258 --> 00:25:52,636 - Is it true? - What about you? You have a girlfriend? 336 00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:58,433 No. I mean, you know, not yet. 337 00:25:59,893 --> 00:26:04,606 Look. I'm getting older, and there's a lot ofstuffthat I wish I could-- 338 00:26:08,110 --> 00:26:12,531 There's a lot ofstuffthat I haven't-- There's certain things I need to-- 339 00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,575 Yeah. I thought you said you could look that stuff up. 340 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,702 No. I mean, not this. 341 00:26:16,827 --> 00:26:19,538 You don't understand. I need someone who knows what to say-- 342 00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:22,374 I'm kidding you, Nick. That's what college is for. 343 00:26:22,499 --> 00:26:27,504 You find some football player who needs tutoring, and he helps you get girls. 344 00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:30,591 - You don't get it. - I get it. I was 1 6 once, all right? 345 00:26:31,508 --> 00:26:33,886 What are you going to do ifyou don't go to college? 346 00:26:34,011 --> 00:26:36,346 Design software. Maybe work on simulation games. 347 00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,891 That's right. You're the computer whiz. There is money in that. 348 00:26:39,016 --> 00:26:40,976 I already make money setting up systems for people. 349 00:26:41,101 --> 00:26:43,520 I'm working on a web page for Granddad for his research. 350 00:26:43,604 --> 00:26:46,106 What, the old man? He's actually spending money? 351 00:26:46,273 --> 00:26:47,482 Yeah, good money too. 352 00:26:47,566 --> 00:26:49,902 It's funny, 'cause he yells at his computer like it's a person. 353 00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:52,070 He's always going, "That bitch ate my file." 354 00:26:52,196 --> 00:26:55,699 - Or, "She's playing hard to get." - You spend a lot oftime there? 355 00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:56,783 Yeah, nowadays. 356 00:26:56,867 --> 00:27:00,078 I go over after school, and he comes over and eats dinner with us. 357 00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:04,041 Wait a minute. He eats dinner with you and Susan? 358 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:08,086 Sure. Since Grandma died, there's no one taking care of him. 359 00:27:08,128 --> 00:27:11,048 Even after they split up, she went over every day to cook dinner. 360 00:27:11,131 --> 00:27:14,801 I mean, every single day. She was nuts. 361 00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:21,433 Yeah, she was nuts. 362 00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:26,730 So, Nick. 363 00:27:28,732 --> 00:27:30,859 You need some help with the ladies? 364 00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:36,490 All right. Here we go. Get this straight. 365 00:27:36,573 --> 00:27:40,786 Sex is everywhere, okay? It is all around us. 366 00:27:40,869 --> 00:27:43,830 It's not some distant destination. It's not Everest. 367 00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:47,459 It is right here. You have to attune yourselfto it. 368 00:27:47,584 --> 00:27:49,503 You have to bring yourself into alignment. 369 00:27:49,586 --> 00:27:51,505 You have to find the zone, Nick. Okay? 370 00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:55,217 Do that, and I promise you a whole world will open up. 371 00:27:56,385 --> 00:27:59,763 Look at me. I walk around in a state oftotal receptivity. 372 00:27:59,805 --> 00:28:03,141 - I'm like a fucking lightning rod. - All right. Fine. What do I do? 373 00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:07,437 For starters, let's get rid ofthat little meditation. The blue triangle. 374 00:28:07,563 --> 00:28:11,024 We don't block things out, Nicholas. We let them in. 375 00:28:11,149 --> 00:28:12,526 Let what in? 376 00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:14,987 There are millions ofwomen in this city. 377 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:18,282 Millions. Most ofthem are blessedly unaware ofthe countless ways... 378 00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:21,159 in which their bodies are exposed to our eyes. 379 00:28:21,243 --> 00:28:23,954 So, first, learn to read the sun, where it sits. 380 00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:29,751 You'll notice... correlation between backlighting and transparency. 381 00:28:29,877 --> 00:28:32,921 They wear light-colored clothing, underwear shows right through. 382 00:28:33,005 --> 00:28:35,966 Bra straps, panty lines. No need to stretch or squint. 383 00:28:36,008 --> 00:28:40,179 It is there for us, okay? For example-- 384 00:28:47,728 --> 00:28:48,770 What? 385 00:28:48,896 --> 00:28:51,356 Are you blowing my cover like some construction worker? 386 00:28:51,481 --> 00:28:54,484 - No. I wasjust-- - Use your head. 387 00:28:55,402 --> 00:28:59,656 Step back. Let her pass. Okay? Give it a few seconds. 388 00:28:59,740 --> 00:29:03,118 Watch this, and then camouflage the move. Pay attention. 389 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:10,042 Checking ofthe watch is good. Or ofthe pager. 390 00:29:10,125 --> 00:29:12,753 Or looking for a street sign like you're lost. 391 00:29:12,836 --> 00:29:15,380 You saw me do a combination. Whatever it is, don't get caught. 392 00:29:15,506 --> 00:29:18,175 Do you think women have a clue what goes on up here? 393 00:29:18,217 --> 00:29:21,845 What do they think, it'sjust stock quotes, drill bit sizes? 394 00:29:21,929 --> 00:29:24,640 They don't know shit! Let's keep it that way. 395 00:29:24,723 --> 00:29:28,477 - All right. - Watch. What about your eyes? 396 00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:31,188 - What? My eyes? - Your eyes. How's your vision? 397 00:29:31,313 --> 00:29:33,815 - No, it's good. It's 20-20. - Okay. Peripheral? 398 00:29:33,899 --> 00:29:36,652 - I don't know. It's fine, I guess. - Fine's not gonna cut it. 399 00:29:36,735 --> 00:29:40,280 You gotta workyour muscles like you're training for the fucking Olympics. 400 00:29:40,405 --> 00:29:43,116 - Yeah. - Up, down, left, right, et cetera. 401 00:29:46,078 --> 00:29:47,746 - Here. Follow my finger. - Okay. 402 00:29:47,871 --> 00:29:49,540 - Tell me when it's gone. - All right. 403 00:29:50,374 --> 00:29:52,793 - Okay. Stop. - That's it? 404 00:29:52,835 --> 00:29:55,003 You need a hundred, a hundred and ten degrees... 405 00:29:55,045 --> 00:29:57,339 before you're ready for the street. 406 00:29:57,464 --> 00:29:59,424 I see behind me on a good day. 407 00:30:00,175 --> 00:30:01,718 - You play video games? - Sure. 408 00:30:01,844 --> 00:30:03,679 Good. That stuff is training for the eyes. 409 00:30:03,846 --> 00:30:04,805 Registering images in a split second. 410 00:30:04,888 --> 00:30:07,015 It's invaluable. Oh. Right there. 411 00:30:07,099 --> 00:30:09,685 Blue sweater. Blue sweater. Median. Blue sweater. Blue sweater. 412 00:30:13,564 --> 00:30:16,316 That young ladyjust-- And you missed it. 413 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,443 - I know. - In just a fraction ofa second. 414 00:30:18,527 --> 00:30:22,281 That's all. But a trained eye can get in there for a look. 415 00:30:22,364 --> 00:30:24,908 You have to learn to anticipate your opportunities, okay? 416 00:30:25,033 --> 00:30:26,994 Getting out ofa cab, wind from a subway grate... 417 00:30:27,119 --> 00:30:31,206 or as you so sadly missed there, bending over to pick something up. 418 00:30:31,290 --> 00:30:34,209 These are situations which require lightning reflexes. 419 00:30:34,293 --> 00:30:37,671 - I tell you, I can do that. - Your a step slow right now, Nick. 420 00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:41,300 Hey, no wonder. I remember what it's like out there. 421 00:30:41,425 --> 00:30:42,885 No interaction. No face time. 422 00:30:42,968 --> 00:30:46,138 Look at me. Every day I have the street, the subway, the ATM line... 423 00:30:46,263 --> 00:30:48,348 the office, the gym, the-- 424 00:30:48,473 --> 00:30:50,142 What have you got? 425 00:30:50,225 --> 00:30:52,769 Young people sitting in cars in Ohio. 426 00:30:52,895 --> 00:30:54,855 Wistful glances at the stoplight. 427 00:30:54,980 --> 00:30:56,773 No, I go to school. That's interaction. 428 00:30:56,899 --> 00:30:58,483 Okay. Let's work with that. 429 00:30:58,609 --> 00:31:00,986 The high school building is four stories, if memory serves. 430 00:31:01,069 --> 00:31:02,946 - It's five stories now. - Whatever. 431 00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:06,283 It's multistory, and that means stairs, which is good. 432 00:31:06,366 --> 00:31:09,828 Free yourselffrom the tyranny ofeye level. Come here. 433 00:31:09,953 --> 00:31:11,997 Use the angles. High for cleavage. 434 00:31:13,707 --> 00:31:17,127 - Low for the skirts. - All right. 435 00:31:17,252 --> 00:31:20,923 Remember, there's no shame in calling on an old standby, right? 436 00:31:20,964 --> 00:31:23,759 Dropping ofthe pencil. Tying of the shoe.Just don't telegraph it. 437 00:31:23,842 --> 00:31:26,386 What about reflective surfaces? Mirrors, windows? 438 00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:28,555 What, in school? No, there's no mirrors. 439 00:31:28,722 --> 00:31:31,099 What about that ugly glass trophy case that-- 440 00:31:31,225 --> 00:31:33,143 - Yeah, that's there. - Well, use it. It's perfect. 441 00:31:33,227 --> 00:31:36,563 Go stand over there for a second. Keep going. Keep going. Stop. 442 00:31:37,940 --> 00:31:41,276 Ifyou can't stare directly, turn your back and use the glass. 443 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,569 Hi, gorgeous. 444 00:31:42,694 --> 00:31:46,114 Remember, angle of incidence equals angle of reflectives. 445 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,785 In other words, ifyou can see them, they can see you. So be alert. 446 00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:52,079 - This is really complicated. - It's rocket science. 447 00:31:52,162 --> 00:31:54,790 - You were smart to ask for help. - I have a good one. 448 00:31:54,915 --> 00:31:56,625 When they're wearing short sleeves... 449 00:31:56,750 --> 00:31:59,795 and they raise their arms to fix their hair, you can see in that gap there. 450 00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:03,131 Now, see? That shows me you're using your faculties. 451 00:32:03,215 --> 00:32:05,968 - Don't they know we can see in there? - Ofcourse they do. 452 00:32:06,051 --> 00:32:08,804 Breasts are very sensitive. They know when they're exposed to air. 453 00:32:10,681 --> 00:32:14,226 Are women gonna walk around with their hands clamped to their sides? No. 454 00:32:14,309 --> 00:32:16,478 Their hair has to be dealt with eventually... 455 00:32:16,603 --> 00:32:20,607 and it is ourjob, it is our vocation to be ready. 456 00:32:20,691 --> 00:32:24,278 All right. So all this looking is fine, but how do you take the next step? 457 00:32:24,403 --> 00:32:26,363 I need to meet someone. 458 00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:32,786 Ifyou can't see how the two things are related... 459 00:32:32,911 --> 00:32:34,663 there's nothing I can do foryou. 460 00:32:34,746 --> 00:32:37,124 - Wait. Relax. Come on. - You think we are kidding around here? 461 00:32:37,249 --> 00:32:39,418 - Do you think this is a joke? - No. Why do you think I'm here? 462 00:32:39,543 --> 00:32:43,213 - You have got to make sex a presence... - I'm sorry. 463 00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,257 - in your mind, in your life... - All right. 464 00:32:45,424 --> 00:32:47,176 - in your spirit. - I'm sorry. 465 00:32:51,388 --> 00:32:54,850 - All right. - What? No. I don't smoke. 466 00:32:54,975 --> 00:32:56,602 Better learn. 467 00:32:59,855 --> 00:33:02,691 - Okay. - Come on. 468 00:33:11,366 --> 00:33:13,368 Here. Wait here. 469 00:33:32,387 --> 00:33:34,765 Okay. Stay on this side of me. 470 00:33:40,854 --> 00:33:42,356 Excuse us. 471 00:33:47,486 --> 00:33:50,030 In, in, in. Go, go, go. Hurry. 472 00:33:53,242 --> 00:33:54,701 Oh, yeah. 473 00:33:58,372 --> 00:34:00,123 Okay. We're in. 474 00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:02,417 Good. 475 00:34:02,501 --> 00:34:05,712 So, first, a survey ofthe terrain. 476 00:34:10,926 --> 00:34:12,970 Technically, it's still happy hour. 477 00:34:14,054 --> 00:34:17,349 Your casual drinkers have yet to pack it in. Lots of groups. 478 00:34:17,432 --> 00:34:20,602 Not exactly ideal for our purposes, but not impossible. 479 00:34:20,686 --> 00:34:23,272 So, we need to make an impression. 480 00:34:23,397 --> 00:34:26,817 Send out a signal that back here is the place to be. 481 00:34:26,942 --> 00:34:29,319 All right. What do you do? What do you say? 482 00:34:29,403 --> 00:34:31,405 Who cares? You're overcomplicating it. 483 00:34:31,530 --> 00:34:34,324 You spend the whole night sitting here thinking ofthe perfect line... 484 00:34:34,449 --> 00:34:35,993 what good is that? 485 00:34:36,118 --> 00:34:41,081 Just make contact. Separate yourself from the rabble. Watch this. 486 00:34:44,626 --> 00:34:47,588 Hey! Roses. Rosebud. 487 00:34:49,256 --> 00:34:50,966 Hi. Come here. 488 00:34:51,091 --> 00:34:52,885 Come here. Come here. Come here. 489 00:34:59,057 --> 00:35:02,728 Hi. Could you-- 490 00:35:02,853 --> 00:35:05,480 Could I get you to take a-- Yeah. 491 00:35:09,401 --> 00:35:12,654 - Hey. - Nick here thinks you're beautiful. 492 00:35:14,323 --> 00:35:17,242 If he's got such good taste, what's he doing hanging out with you? 493 00:35:18,327 --> 00:35:19,828 Good question. Nick? 494 00:35:24,082 --> 00:35:27,836 - Because he's my uncle? - How awful foryou. 495 00:35:31,298 --> 00:35:32,799 And so on. No big deal, right? 496 00:35:32,841 --> 00:35:35,552 Now she's aware ofour presence, and we can plot our strategy. 497 00:35:35,677 --> 00:35:39,056 I'm gonna get us some drinks. While I'm there, think ofa hook. 498 00:35:40,015 --> 00:35:43,602 - What? A hook? - A hook. A line. An opening salvo. 499 00:35:43,727 --> 00:35:47,689 Any minute now, Rosebud is going to be standing right here... 500 00:35:47,773 --> 00:35:50,275 Iooking down at you, and you're going to have one chance... 501 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,071 to either hit it out ofthe park or strike out miserably. 502 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:56,323 Be ready. 503 00:36:31,984 --> 00:36:34,111 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 504 00:36:36,446 --> 00:36:38,615 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 505 00:36:42,202 --> 00:36:45,747 Hello, Nick. Your uncle says you have something to tell me... 506 00:36:45,873 --> 00:36:48,584 that will absolutely blow my mind. 507 00:36:50,669 --> 00:36:54,298 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Those were his exact words. 508 00:36:56,466 --> 00:36:58,552 Is he playing a littlejoke on us? 509 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,974 No, no. He's serious. 510 00:37:04,099 --> 00:37:06,643 I mean, he's... totally serious. 511 00:37:07,603 --> 00:37:09,605 - Tonight. - Sorry. 512 00:37:12,399 --> 00:37:14,985 Thanks. As I was-- 513 00:37:15,110 --> 00:37:17,070 - Tonight. - Right, I was saying that... 514 00:37:18,530 --> 00:37:20,657 I was saying that tonight is a-- 515 00:37:20,782 --> 00:37:23,410 Tonight is a very important night for me. 516 00:37:23,535 --> 00:37:26,163 I wasjust telling her that we made a bet. 517 00:37:26,246 --> 00:37:29,583 - A bet? - Uh-huh. We made a bet for $1 ,000. 518 00:37:33,003 --> 00:37:35,881 That I can get somebody to... 519 00:37:36,006 --> 00:37:37,966 Iike, fall in love with me. 520 00:37:41,136 --> 00:37:42,888 Really? 521 00:37:45,724 --> 00:37:49,061 Love. That's a hard thing to verify, don't you think? 522 00:37:49,186 --> 00:37:51,563 No, I think we can do it. 523 00:37:51,647 --> 00:37:53,440 I'm confident we can. 524 00:37:55,192 --> 00:37:56,527 A thousand dollars? 525 00:37:56,652 --> 00:37:58,695 That's not exactly mind-blowing... 526 00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:02,241 but it's not the worse line I'll hear tonight. 527 00:38:03,450 --> 00:38:05,327 What? Really? 528 00:38:06,203 --> 00:38:08,789 Yeah. Good job, Nick. 529 00:38:08,914 --> 00:38:11,625 - So, do we rate a sit-down? - I'm waiting for a friend. 530 00:38:11,708 --> 00:38:13,627 I'll run it by her when she shows up. 531 00:38:13,710 --> 00:38:16,421 Get her over here. There's cash at stake. 532 00:38:16,547 --> 00:38:20,342 Ifwe do, who sits with who? 533 00:38:20,425 --> 00:38:22,886 Ladies' choice. Natural selection. 534 00:38:28,892 --> 00:38:31,270 I wanna sit with him. 535 00:38:33,939 --> 00:38:35,899 Yes, yes. 536 00:38:48,787 --> 00:38:49,955 What is this? 537 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,875 Rum and coke. I told him to mix it weak. We got a long way to go here. 538 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,836 - Okay. I don't drink. - You kidding me? Take a drink. 539 00:38:55,961 --> 00:38:59,381 - I don't put alcohol into my body. - You drink that drink. 540 00:39:01,133 --> 00:39:04,261 Loss of inhibition is crucial to your success tonight, okay? 541 00:39:04,386 --> 00:39:07,139 Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands ofyears. 542 00:39:07,264 --> 00:39:10,684 You thinkyou're gonna sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel? Please. 543 00:39:16,190 --> 00:39:21,153 All right. Now, you did one very good thing. You lied. 544 00:39:21,278 --> 00:39:24,239 You made something up. Keep that part ofyour brain working. 545 00:39:24,364 --> 00:39:27,951 We get those girls over here, your first instinct is gonna be to open up. 546 00:39:27,993 --> 00:39:31,330 To tell the truth. Fight it!Just keep it interesting. 547 00:39:31,413 --> 00:39:34,875 Play up your novelty. You're a 1 6-year-old in a bar. 548 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,879 Why? "My father owns the bar." You got a month to live. 549 00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:41,715 You're an actor researching-- I don't know. Improvise. 550 00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:44,259 Next, check the time. What time is it? 551 00:39:44,301 --> 00:39:45,969 It's about 7:02. 552 00:39:46,094 --> 00:39:49,389 - Do you have a MedicAlert bracelet? - No, it's instructions. 553 00:39:49,515 --> 00:39:52,226 I'm having my body cryogenically frozen if I die prematurely. 554 00:39:59,483 --> 00:40:01,652 All right. Leave it. It's spastic enough to be charming. 555 00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:04,154 So, the time. 7:00. 556 00:40:04,279 --> 00:40:07,783 We've got nine hours until closing time. An eternity. 557 00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:10,744 Look at me, Nick, and answer me this question. 558 00:40:10,827 --> 00:40:12,579 All right. 559 00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:17,376 Who is the greatest basketball player in the history ofthe game? 560 00:40:18,919 --> 00:40:21,380 - Do you mean ever? - Come on. This is easy. 561 00:40:22,798 --> 00:40:24,675 - Michael Jordan? - Michael Jordan. 562 00:40:24,758 --> 00:40:27,052 Why was he the greatest? Because he paced himself. 563 00:40:27,135 --> 00:40:29,388 Because he always had something left at the finish. 564 00:40:29,513 --> 00:40:32,099 MagicJohnson called it "winning time." See those guys over there? 565 00:40:35,602 --> 00:40:38,397 Yeah. Those guys think they're kicking ass. 566 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,274 Believe me, it is early. 567 00:40:40,357 --> 00:40:42,526 We are a long way from winning time, so pay attention. 568 00:40:42,609 --> 00:40:44,695 - Okay. - You say you want it. 569 00:40:44,820 --> 00:40:46,405 Ifyou really wanted it... 570 00:40:47,447 --> 00:40:51,034 you'd be in here, suffering the tortures ofthe damned with those guys. 571 00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:53,328 - What? - There's a big difference between... 572 00:40:53,495 --> 00:40:56,874 being horny and being willing to put in the time night after night-- 573 00:40:56,957 --> 00:41:00,419 I want it. Okay? I go to high school. You don't think that's torture? 574 00:41:00,544 --> 00:41:02,713 This is a lot of information. 575 00:41:02,838 --> 00:41:04,840 I'm giving you the keys to the kingdom. 576 00:41:04,923 --> 00:41:06,216 Yeah, I know. 577 00:41:06,341 --> 00:41:08,510 How many boys your age get an opportunity like this? 578 00:41:08,635 --> 00:41:09,595 Yes. 579 00:41:09,720 --> 00:41:12,472 So, stickyour finger down your throat. Drink ice water, call it gin-- 580 00:41:12,598 --> 00:41:16,185 I don't care what you do. Be ready to dive in at the moment oftruth. 581 00:41:18,687 --> 00:41:22,858 So... how often do you, like... 582 00:41:24,026 --> 00:41:26,445 you know, like, get somebody to go home with you? 583 00:41:29,198 --> 00:41:30,824 Every night. 584 00:41:31,575 --> 00:41:32,618 Bullshit. 585 00:41:32,701 --> 00:41:35,370 Just because you're not having sex, doesn't mean the rest of us... 586 00:41:35,495 --> 00:41:37,289 are sitting around playing cribbage. 587 00:41:39,750 --> 00:41:41,251 What's cribbage? 588 00:41:43,212 --> 00:41:45,339 - What? What? - Here we go. Here we go. 589 00:41:46,381 --> 00:41:48,759 Here they come. This is so stupid. They're, like, twice my age. 590 00:41:48,884 --> 00:41:51,929 Champions refuse to lose. Be like Mike. 591 00:41:52,012 --> 00:41:54,598 Here we are. As promised. For one drink. 592 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:59,186 - I'm Andrea, and this is Sophie. - I'm Roger. This is my nephew, Nick. 593 00:41:59,269 --> 00:42:01,605 - Hi. - He really is, like, 1 6. 594 00:42:01,688 --> 00:42:03,607 - I told you. - Sit down. 595 00:42:03,690 --> 00:42:05,692 How'd you get in here, Nick? 596 00:42:05,776 --> 00:42:09,488 It's funny you should... ask me that. 597 00:42:09,613 --> 00:42:13,659 'Cause we were, before, discussing it, and-- 598 00:42:14,743 --> 00:42:15,911 Neveryou mind. 599 00:42:15,994 --> 00:42:18,539 I'm enjoying the air of intrigue Nick brings to our booth. 600 00:42:18,664 --> 00:42:21,124 - Cheers, everyone. - I told Sophie about your little bet. 601 00:42:21,250 --> 00:42:22,793 She thinks you're full of it. 602 00:42:22,876 --> 00:42:24,378 There's nothing little about a thousand dollars. 603 00:42:24,503 --> 00:42:27,130 He's got to get someone to fall in love with him? 604 00:42:27,172 --> 00:42:29,800 - A woman. - A woman? 605 00:42:29,883 --> 00:42:33,095 Does it have to be a woman? What ifsome guy takes a shine to you? 606 00:42:34,638 --> 00:42:37,099 I guess that would count, 'cause we never discussed what gender-- 607 00:42:37,224 --> 00:42:40,978 If Nick is willing to exploit that little loophole, he can have the money. 608 00:42:41,103 --> 00:42:43,564 - What were you guys talking about? - I don't know. 609 00:42:43,689 --> 00:42:47,609 - What were we talking about? - We were talking about women. 610 00:42:47,693 --> 00:42:51,238 Specifically, the pleasure to be derived from admiring the female form. 611 00:42:52,906 --> 00:42:55,409 Imagine what it feels like to be admired all day long. 612 00:42:55,534 --> 00:42:58,328 - Really. - You'd rather be completely anonymous? 613 00:42:58,412 --> 00:43:00,205 - Not completely anonymous. - Not anonymous. 614 00:43:00,372 --> 00:43:03,333 I myselfwould welcome the sensation ofa hundred pair ofeyes... 615 00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:05,878 caressing my... booty as I walk down the street. 616 00:43:05,961 --> 00:43:07,421 Guys always say that. 617 00:43:07,546 --> 00:43:09,840 Yeah. "We'd love it ifwomen were always staring." 618 00:43:09,965 --> 00:43:11,091 We would. 619 00:43:11,216 --> 00:43:14,303 You would love it if no woman ever listened to a word you were saying... 620 00:43:14,428 --> 00:43:18,140 and just kept her eyes locked on your chest oryour crotch? 621 00:43:18,265 --> 00:43:20,517 If it led to having sex all the time, I would not mind. 622 00:43:20,601 --> 00:43:23,687 You could deal with never being heard, never being taken seriously? 623 00:43:23,812 --> 00:43:26,815 If I had something that needed saying, I would wait until right after sex. 624 00:43:28,483 --> 00:43:31,653 Seriously, for a second, just stop saying the obvious thing. 625 00:43:31,778 --> 00:43:34,573 Think what it would be like ifon every bus... 626 00:43:34,656 --> 00:43:38,076 there were huge pictures ofyour naked body. 627 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:41,330 - And on every billboard-- - Magazine. 628 00:43:41,455 --> 00:43:43,665 That's right-- it wasjust about your body. 629 00:43:43,790 --> 00:43:47,836 There was so much time and money and energy spent obsessing and analyzing... 630 00:43:47,878 --> 00:43:51,048 trying to get a glimpse ofyour body, that soon it felt like... 631 00:43:51,173 --> 00:43:53,091 the world had forgotten about everything else... 632 00:43:53,175 --> 00:43:55,260 and you end up feeling... 633 00:43:55,344 --> 00:43:58,055 disconnected from your own body, like it's not even yours. 634 00:43:59,723 --> 00:44:02,726 Ifyou're really serious about avoiding the male gaze-- 635 00:44:02,893 --> 00:44:06,313 - Ifthe goal is anonymity-- - I never said the goal was anonymity. 636 00:44:06,438 --> 00:44:08,148 Here's a little suggestion, okay? 637 00:44:08,273 --> 00:44:10,484 Putting on makeup. Styling your hair. 638 00:44:10,609 --> 00:44:14,613 Wearing a killer outfit and coming to a place like this on a Friday night. 639 00:44:14,738 --> 00:44:17,866 That's when it gets interesting, because at a certain point... 640 00:44:17,991 --> 00:44:20,786 - you start internalizing the male gaze. - Not the best course ofaction. 641 00:44:20,869 --> 00:44:23,413 Male gaze. Madison Avenue. Fucking patriarchy. 642 00:44:23,539 --> 00:44:25,457 Whatever it is, it's done its number on you. 643 00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:28,877 Do you thinkyou have any control over who you find attractive? 644 00:44:28,961 --> 00:44:31,713 - Ofcourse we do. - I think not, and I'll prove it to you. 645 00:44:31,797 --> 00:44:37,094 Ask any woman, "What's the single most attractive quality a man can possess?" 646 00:44:37,177 --> 00:44:39,638 - And what do they invariably answer? - Sense of humor. 647 00:44:39,721 --> 00:44:42,182 - Sense of humor. - Sense of humor is huge. Definitely. 648 00:44:42,307 --> 00:44:46,687 And yet, iftwo lean, mean, play-by-their-own-rules... 649 00:44:46,854 --> 00:44:51,358 motorcycle-riding men strolled up to this booth... 650 00:44:51,441 --> 00:44:55,320 and beat the shit out of us two humorous guys, right... 651 00:44:56,196 --> 00:44:58,657 and asked you out for a ride, you would be weak at the knees. 652 00:44:58,740 --> 00:45:01,118 - No way. - Weak at the knees. 653 00:45:01,159 --> 00:45:03,829 Well, actually, guys who ride cycles are pretty sexy. 654 00:45:03,954 --> 00:45:05,998 - Thankyou. You see? - Sorry. 655 00:45:06,081 --> 00:45:10,377 The fact is that touchy-feely, weepy, in-touch-with-their-feelings guys... 656 00:45:10,502 --> 00:45:12,421 make you sick-- you're repulsed by them. 657 00:45:12,546 --> 00:45:15,132 Give me the lce Age, okay? Survival ofthe fittest. 658 00:45:15,215 --> 00:45:18,802 No mixed signals. No bullshit. 659 00:45:18,927 --> 00:45:22,181 Just the meanest, hairiest bastard wins all the time. 660 00:45:22,264 --> 00:45:24,057 Let's change the subject right now. 661 00:45:24,183 --> 00:45:28,937 You know, it's interesting. All this looking is so masculine. 662 00:45:29,062 --> 00:45:31,732 I mean, you guys arejust about the visuals. 663 00:45:31,899 --> 00:45:34,568 Really. Why is it that when I'm going down on a guy-- 664 00:45:34,651 --> 00:45:37,487 - Sophie! - No, really. 665 00:45:37,571 --> 00:45:39,907 Why is it that when I'm doing my thing... 666 00:45:40,032 --> 00:45:41,909 why is it that men always insist on watching? 667 00:45:42,034 --> 00:45:44,953 Why can't you just close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling? 668 00:45:44,995 --> 00:45:47,247 It's not the most flattering activity for a woman. 669 00:45:47,372 --> 00:45:50,042 I'm not sure that that's a-- Maybe we can help. 670 00:45:50,167 --> 00:45:53,962 Nick, jump in here. A woman is doing her thing. 671 00:45:55,214 --> 00:45:57,216 Why do we have to watch? 672 00:46:00,677 --> 00:46:03,680 Well, maybe to make sure that it's actually happening? 673 00:46:04,806 --> 00:46:07,226 I'll buy that. Make sure we're not hallucinating. 674 00:46:07,309 --> 00:46:11,063 And maybe to file it away, in case it's a long time before the next one. 675 00:46:11,146 --> 00:46:14,566 Two excellent answers. Perhaps you'd elaborate on the filing it away part? 676 00:46:14,691 --> 00:46:16,235 File it away for what? 677 00:46:18,153 --> 00:46:20,572 - Oh. I don't know. - Come on, Nick. 678 00:46:20,697 --> 00:46:23,158 We're finally treading on some familiar territory here. 679 00:46:23,283 --> 00:46:26,620 Mom's in the kitchen makingJell-O with fruit. 680 00:46:26,745 --> 00:46:28,872 - You lockyourself in the bathroom-- - Don't sweat it, Nick. 681 00:46:28,956 --> 00:46:30,874 I grew up with three brothers. 682 00:46:30,958 --> 00:46:33,794 The closets were pornography museums. More visuals. 683 00:46:34,628 --> 00:46:36,630 You're right about the visual thing. 684 00:46:36,713 --> 00:46:38,674 It always drives me nuts when I hear a guy... 685 00:46:38,715 --> 00:46:41,677 going on about something a girl does that's supposed to be so sexy. 686 00:46:41,718 --> 00:46:45,138 - Like what kind ofthing? - Like how she flips her hair. 687 00:46:45,264 --> 00:46:47,558 How she stands with one foot to the side. It could be anything. 688 00:46:47,683 --> 00:46:50,060 - What's wrong with that? - Because that's nothing. 689 00:46:50,143 --> 00:46:52,020 That'sjust something she does. 690 00:46:52,145 --> 00:46:55,148 And she probably only does it because she saw it in a movie. 691 00:46:55,274 --> 00:46:57,276 It's not their real stuff. 692 00:46:57,359 --> 00:47:00,529 All that stuff-- the hair flips, the mannerisms, the catch phrases. 693 00:47:00,612 --> 00:47:04,366 They add up to the personality. So they are what's real. 694 00:47:04,449 --> 00:47:07,828 Yeah, but it's all the outside stuff. That's fine in the beginning. 695 00:47:07,911 --> 00:47:09,621 You need the outside stuff. 696 00:47:09,746 --> 00:47:11,665 You need, like, the reasons to be in love. 697 00:47:11,748 --> 00:47:13,667 But you can get past that to the part... 698 00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:15,377 where the little tricks don't mean anything. 699 00:47:15,460 --> 00:47:18,589 I say you are attracted to what is in front ofyou. End ofstory. 700 00:47:18,714 --> 00:47:19,882 How romantic. 701 00:47:21,508 --> 00:47:23,677 It takes years and years together. 702 00:47:23,802 --> 00:47:25,512 - Yeah? - I can't describe it exactly... 703 00:47:25,554 --> 00:47:27,681 but it's like there's nothing she can do. 704 00:47:27,806 --> 00:47:30,726 All her usual ways of hooking you in have no effect... 705 00:47:30,809 --> 00:47:32,811 and yet you're still in love. 706 00:47:32,936 --> 00:47:34,813 It's like the act is over... 707 00:47:34,938 --> 00:47:36,857 and you get to the part she's been hiding. 708 00:47:36,982 --> 00:47:40,777 And she's been hiding it because she thinks that's the part... 709 00:47:40,861 --> 00:47:44,156 that's gonna blow it or make you leave or get bored... 710 00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,826 but you get to that part, and you're still there. 711 00:47:48,911 --> 00:47:51,413 And you're even more in love. 712 00:47:56,126 --> 00:47:57,377 Wow. 713 00:47:57,503 --> 00:48:00,714 Have you met my nephew? His name isJesus. 714 00:48:00,797 --> 00:48:02,633 How old are you, Nick? 715 00:48:02,716 --> 00:48:04,009 I'm 1 6. 716 00:48:04,134 --> 00:48:07,638 Stay strong, Sophie. There's a thousand of my dollars at stake here. 717 00:48:07,763 --> 00:48:10,390 Are we still on a one-drink limit? 718 00:48:10,516 --> 00:48:13,519 - I think we can have one more. - Yeah, I'm in. 719 00:48:13,602 --> 00:48:15,854 Great. Scootch out ofthere, Sophie. 720 00:48:15,979 --> 00:48:18,023 - Who wants what? - Sophie knows what I like. 721 00:48:18,148 --> 00:48:20,734 -Just some ice water, please. - Okay, that's charming. 722 00:48:20,859 --> 00:48:21,985 Nick? 723 00:48:22,069 --> 00:48:25,989 A player might consider taking advantage ofthis time alone with Andrea. 724 00:48:26,114 --> 00:48:28,742 Andrea. Yeah. You can take your time. 725 00:48:38,794 --> 00:48:40,796 - Hi. - Hey. 726 00:48:42,381 --> 00:48:44,591 - What's the deal with your uncle? - I don't know. 727 00:48:44,675 --> 00:48:47,928 This is really the first time I've hung out with him socially. 728 00:48:48,804 --> 00:48:51,890 - Do you live in the city? - I live in Ohio with my mom. 729 00:48:52,850 --> 00:48:54,810 She and Roger don't really speak anymore. 730 00:48:55,644 --> 00:48:56,895 Ohio? 731 00:48:57,938 --> 00:49:00,065 Do you have a girlfriend back home? 732 00:49:01,191 --> 00:49:03,151 No. Not right now. 733 00:49:11,869 --> 00:49:15,497 Nick, can you do me a favor? 734 00:49:15,581 --> 00:49:17,082 Okay. 735 00:49:27,467 --> 00:49:29,219 Pick that up. 736 00:49:32,556 --> 00:49:35,142 - Protein for stamina. - Let's switch, Andrea. 737 00:49:35,267 --> 00:49:37,811 - Okay. I suppose it's your turn. - Yeah, good idea. 738 00:49:37,936 --> 00:49:42,191 Keep things fresh and help us fight that second-round lag. 739 00:49:42,274 --> 00:49:44,902 - What's that? - That's a conversational lag... 740 00:49:44,943 --> 00:49:48,280 that often occurs after the ordering ofthe second round. 741 00:49:48,363 --> 00:49:52,075 Actually, Nick was telling me about you and your relationship with his mother. 742 00:49:52,159 --> 00:49:55,913 - No secret there. She's my sister. - Your relationship with her. 743 00:49:55,996 --> 00:49:58,999 Not your relationship to her. Nick says they don't speak. 744 00:49:59,124 --> 00:50:02,211 That's terrible. I mean, you need your family. 745 00:50:02,294 --> 00:50:05,506 - Yeah. - What do you think happened, Nick? 746 00:50:06,548 --> 00:50:09,801 My mom's a lot older than Roger. Like nine years. 747 00:50:09,885 --> 00:50:12,221 You must have been quite the little surprise, Roger. 748 00:50:12,346 --> 00:50:14,973 A nine-year gap doesn't necessarily mean an unplanned pregnancy. 749 00:50:16,558 --> 00:50:19,478 But, apparently, I did come as a bit ofa surprise. 750 00:50:19,561 --> 00:50:21,563 Really? I didn't know that. 751 00:50:21,605 --> 00:50:24,024 That doesn't explain why you and your sister don't get along. 752 00:50:24,149 --> 00:50:26,818 Let'sjust say we don't have much in common. 753 00:50:27,611 --> 00:50:31,031 My mom says that when Roger was little, he could talk himselfout ofanything. 754 00:50:31,114 --> 00:50:33,242 He never got in trouble, even when he got caught. 755 00:50:33,367 --> 00:50:37,621 - She called him "Roger Dodger." - That's perfect foryou. 756 00:50:37,788 --> 00:50:41,041 There's nothing wrong with a high verbal ability. Nick's got it too. 757 00:50:41,124 --> 00:50:43,252 I wanna be like Granddad. He almost never talks. 758 00:50:43,377 --> 00:50:45,921 But when he does, everyone kind of leans forward. 759 00:50:46,046 --> 00:50:48,006 You know, my dad's like that. 760 00:50:48,090 --> 00:50:50,676 The difference being that what my father has to say is usually... 761 00:50:50,801 --> 00:50:52,845 some variation on, "Get me another scotch." 762 00:50:52,928 --> 00:50:55,222 - Like father, like son? - No, like daughter. 763 00:50:55,347 --> 00:50:56,932 - I get my-- - Whose daughter? 764 00:50:57,057 --> 00:50:59,560 - What do you mean, "Iike daughter?" - Nojoke. 765 00:50:59,685 --> 00:51:03,230 Mom keeps a bottle in the laundry basket. She has foryears. 766 00:51:05,357 --> 00:51:06,859 - Oh, God, Nick. - That's awful. 767 00:51:06,984 --> 00:51:10,654 She's not a wreck or anything. She'sjust-- What do you call it? 768 00:51:10,779 --> 00:51:12,698 - High-functioning. - Yeah. That's Susan all right. 769 00:51:12,823 --> 00:51:14,783 She's always functioned at a high level. 770 00:51:14,867 --> 00:51:18,662 - She'sjust really high, you know? - How can you joke about that? 771 00:51:18,745 --> 00:51:21,248 You can joke about anything that has to do with yourself. 772 00:51:21,373 --> 00:51:23,375 It's a basic human right. Isn't that right, Nick? 773 00:51:24,710 --> 00:51:27,379 I think that's constitutional or something. 774 00:51:27,504 --> 00:51:30,757 Freedom ofspeech. Freedom tojoke. 775 00:51:30,841 --> 00:51:33,135 You know what? I need the ladies' room. 776 00:51:33,260 --> 00:51:35,554 Let's let the boys discuss these new revelations. 777 00:51:35,679 --> 00:51:37,264 - Good idea. - I don't-- All right. 778 00:51:37,389 --> 00:51:38,807 All right. 779 00:51:41,059 --> 00:51:43,020 Be careful. We'll be waiting. 780 00:51:44,855 --> 00:51:46,773 Are you sure you want to get laid tonight? 781 00:51:46,857 --> 00:51:48,483 I thought you would like to know that. 782 00:51:48,609 --> 00:51:50,485 I am not the one who is here to learn. 783 00:51:50,611 --> 00:51:52,487 For most of us, this is a forgetting place. 784 00:51:52,613 --> 00:51:54,406 - All right? - We were talking about Granddad. 785 00:51:54,531 --> 00:51:56,408 - I figured-- - You felt qualified tojump in... 786 00:51:56,533 --> 00:51:58,410 and expound on that particular topic? 787 00:51:58,493 --> 00:51:59,953 That's right. I'm sorry. 788 00:52:00,037 --> 00:52:03,081 You're an expert on that subject now. You guys arejoined at the fucking hip. 789 00:52:03,207 --> 00:52:05,125 I wanted to keep the conversation going. 790 00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:07,461 There are four of us in this booth. 791 00:52:07,544 --> 00:52:09,630 Think of it as a game of bridge. 792 00:52:11,715 --> 00:52:15,010 In bridge, you have two sets of partners, okay? 793 00:52:15,135 --> 00:52:17,012 Ifyou hope to become the kind of man... 794 00:52:17,137 --> 00:52:19,056 that other men choose to go into battle with... 795 00:52:19,139 --> 00:52:21,475 you have to learn to read your partner. 796 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,561 It should have been obvious I don't want to talk about the family tonight. 797 00:52:25,604 --> 00:52:26,813 A little while ago... 798 00:52:26,897 --> 00:52:29,775 we were listening to Sophie describe herself giving a blowjob. 799 00:52:29,858 --> 00:52:31,777 Don't you think that's slightly more fertile ground... 800 00:52:31,902 --> 00:52:34,488 than what's at the bottom ofyour mother's laundry basket? 801 00:52:36,365 --> 00:52:39,159 Pull your weight and steer the conversation back... 802 00:52:39,284 --> 00:52:41,745 to something in the same universe as sex. 803 00:52:41,828 --> 00:52:45,249 Remember, the thing that was supposed to be the primary focus this evening? 804 00:52:45,374 --> 00:52:47,084 Don't make me resort to the fail-safe. 805 00:52:49,002 --> 00:52:51,797 - Where are you going? - Excuse me. 806 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:53,882 No. Bad idea. 807 00:52:54,007 --> 00:52:55,384 Ah,Jesus. 808 00:53:25,455 --> 00:53:27,624 Everything okay over there? 809 00:53:27,708 --> 00:53:29,585 No. I can't go with you standing there. 810 00:53:29,710 --> 00:53:32,588 - Why not? - I just can't. Get out of here. 811 00:53:32,713 --> 00:53:35,382 Can't go through life with a shy bladder, Nick. 812 00:53:35,465 --> 00:53:37,467 You're gonna be spending a lot oftime in bars. 813 00:53:37,551 --> 00:53:39,511 Most ofthem will have restrooms just like this one. 814 00:53:40,929 --> 00:53:43,182 Fine. Then you go. You go first. 815 00:53:43,307 --> 00:53:46,268 I don't have to. Just came in to rinse my hands. 816 00:53:47,936 --> 00:53:49,354 Forget it. 817 00:53:53,984 --> 00:53:56,737 - Let's go, kid. - No, look. I'm with somebody. 818 00:53:57,905 --> 00:54:00,365 Uncle Roger, could you please tell him? He doesn't-- 819 00:54:00,449 --> 00:54:02,826 - How you doing? - No, I don't know him. 820 00:54:02,910 --> 00:54:04,828 - Bedtime, kid. Let's go. - Uncle Roger. 821 00:54:04,912 --> 00:54:06,872 - Come on, kid. Out. - Could you please-- 822 00:54:07,748 --> 00:54:10,584 He's my-- Uncle Roger! Really, go back in there. 823 00:54:12,127 --> 00:54:14,004 Look, I'm an actor. I'm researching a role. 824 00:54:14,087 --> 00:54:16,089 - Good luck with that. - Okay. 825 00:54:46,411 --> 00:54:48,038 - You okay? - Oh, hey. 826 00:54:48,121 --> 00:54:51,124 I guess I should've waited to use the bathroom. 827 00:54:51,208 --> 00:54:54,878 Okay. Unless the novelty of hanging out with prom king here has worn off... 828 00:54:55,003 --> 00:54:57,673 I suggest we get a bottle and find someplace with a view. 829 00:55:01,552 --> 00:55:04,847 - All right. Let's find a view. - Let's find a view. Ladies. 830 00:55:24,575 --> 00:55:26,910 - That was close. - That's good. Thankyou. 831 00:55:26,952 --> 00:55:29,204 - This is the finest. - That's good.Just a little bit. 832 00:55:29,288 --> 00:55:30,497 Thankyou. 833 00:55:30,581 --> 00:55:33,166 Just a little. That's good. That's good. 834 00:55:35,169 --> 00:55:36,962 - How do you like the wine? - I like it. 835 00:55:37,087 --> 00:55:39,089 It makes my chest feel warm. 836 00:55:39,214 --> 00:55:41,758 - Roger, you're a bad influence. - Yes, I am. 837 00:55:41,884 --> 00:55:44,303 - Alcohol, women of loose morals. - And gambling. 838 00:55:44,386 --> 00:55:45,846 That's right. Gambling. 839 00:55:45,971 --> 00:55:48,182 I don't see Nick complaining. 840 00:55:48,265 --> 00:55:50,517 Although I have to say, for women of loose morals... 841 00:55:51,602 --> 00:55:54,688 conversation has been pretty tame so far tonight. 842 00:55:55,647 --> 00:55:59,109 With the notable exception ofSophie's oral presentation. 843 00:55:59,193 --> 00:56:00,277 Shut up. 844 00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:04,072 It'd be helpful for Nick to hear more of the female perspective ofthe sex act. 845 00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,283 - Do you agree? - God. 846 00:56:06,992 --> 00:56:08,744 Where to begin? 847 00:56:08,785 --> 00:56:10,787 Nick will get us started. Nick? 848 00:56:15,167 --> 00:56:16,710 Go ahead. 849 00:56:17,377 --> 00:56:19,254 Ask away. Any question you like. 850 00:56:19,379 --> 00:56:20,631 Keep it interesting. 851 00:56:20,672 --> 00:56:22,007 All right. 852 00:56:25,052 --> 00:56:27,471 I guess I'd like to know what your first time was like. 853 00:56:28,472 --> 00:56:30,933 - That's what you come up with? - That is a great question. 854 00:56:31,058 --> 00:56:32,309 Thankyou. 855 00:56:33,602 --> 00:56:35,145 I'll go first. 856 00:56:38,315 --> 00:56:41,485 - It was myjunioryear. - High school or college? 857 00:56:42,903 --> 00:56:44,446 High school. 858 00:56:44,571 --> 00:56:47,366 His name was Bobby Rushton, and we weren't even dating. 859 00:56:47,449 --> 00:56:50,911 I just picked him out one day and decided he was gonna be the one. 860 00:56:50,994 --> 00:56:53,372 - Why did you pick him? - Sense of humor? 861 00:56:54,414 --> 00:56:57,251 Ha-ha. He was funny, as I remember, but... 862 00:56:57,417 --> 00:57:00,170 it was something more than that. 863 00:57:00,254 --> 00:57:03,632 It was like this vibe. 864 00:57:03,715 --> 00:57:05,676 I knew he would be nice. 865 00:57:05,759 --> 00:57:09,346 He wasn't very popular, and I didn't think he'd brag about me to his friends. 866 00:57:09,471 --> 00:57:12,182 - That's halfthe fun. - Well, he didn't. 867 00:57:12,307 --> 00:57:14,268 He wasjust as nervous as I was. 868 00:57:15,477 --> 00:57:17,521 Which is part ofthe reason that I picked him... 869 00:57:17,646 --> 00:57:20,899 because I think I wanted to have some control. 870 00:57:21,024 --> 00:57:23,986 - You know? - You were his first as well then? 871 00:57:24,069 --> 00:57:27,155 Yeah. In fact, I went with him to go get the condoms. 872 00:57:27,281 --> 00:57:29,324 We biked all the way across town... 873 00:57:29,408 --> 00:57:31,910 because we were so afraid someone might see us. 874 00:57:32,035 --> 00:57:34,454 - We planned the thing for a month. - I love this story. 875 00:57:35,330 --> 00:57:38,750 - Yes. - So, where did you, you know? 876 00:57:40,419 --> 00:57:42,921 It was in my house, in my room. 877 00:57:43,755 --> 00:57:45,716 My parents were away for the weekend. 878 00:57:45,841 --> 00:57:49,553 - Did you bleed? - The usual. Not too bad. 879 00:57:49,595 --> 00:57:51,597 Wait. So it hurts the first time? 880 00:57:53,390 --> 00:57:55,726 Well, it really hurts... 881 00:57:57,269 --> 00:57:59,229 that first second. 882 00:58:00,397 --> 00:58:03,192 And then after that, it'sjust new. 883 00:58:03,275 --> 00:58:07,362 You know? It's like this new feeling foryour body. 884 00:58:07,446 --> 00:58:08,864 So how was he? 885 00:58:10,115 --> 00:58:13,160 - Matter ofseconds? - No way! He kept going like a champ. 886 00:58:13,285 --> 00:58:15,454 I had to ask him to hurry up, actually. 887 00:58:15,579 --> 00:58:16,872 - Ow! - Yeah. 888 00:58:16,955 --> 00:58:21,168 He did admit to masturbating like crazy beforehand so he wouldn'tjust-- 889 00:58:21,335 --> 00:58:24,546 - Like he wasn't doing that already. - No, he sounds like a nice guy. 890 00:58:24,671 --> 00:58:26,924 - He sounds like a dream come true. - He was a nice guy. 891 00:58:27,007 --> 00:58:29,468 He's a cop now. He's got four kids. 892 00:58:29,551 --> 00:58:32,012 Early sex is an absolute humiliation. 893 00:58:32,095 --> 00:58:36,058 Oh. Speak foryourself. My first time was wonderful. 894 00:58:36,183 --> 00:58:37,851 Oh, yeah? 895 00:58:37,976 --> 00:58:39,937 Let me take a wild guess. 896 00:58:41,146 --> 00:58:43,315 - An older gentleman. - Right you are. 897 00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:44,900 - Married? - Right again. 898 00:58:46,109 --> 00:58:47,528 How old were you? 899 00:58:47,611 --> 00:58:50,030 I was 1 9. Freshman in college. 900 00:58:50,113 --> 00:58:52,908 Guess you didn't spend a lot oftime getting to know your roommates. 901 00:58:53,033 --> 00:58:56,828 No. No, I don't even remember what they look like. 902 00:58:57,955 --> 00:58:59,790 So what happened? 903 00:59:01,166 --> 00:59:04,920 Well, believe it or not, he ended up staying with his wife. 904 00:59:06,046 --> 00:59:07,631 What are the odds? 905 00:59:07,756 --> 00:59:09,716 What did you do when you realized he wasn't going to leave her? 906 00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:13,011 Well, Nick, I got over it eventually... 907 00:59:13,136 --> 00:59:15,097 and vowed not to repeat the mistake. 908 00:59:15,222 --> 00:59:18,225 - And how's that going? - Some months are better than others. 909 00:59:18,308 --> 00:59:19,810 - Uh-huh. - Sophie-- 910 00:59:19,893 --> 00:59:22,145 - I didn't say anything. - What can I do? They're all married. 911 00:59:22,229 --> 00:59:24,356 I promised I would not be a nag. It's okay. 912 00:59:24,481 --> 00:59:26,775 You, hotshot. Tell us about your first time. 913 00:59:29,820 --> 00:59:33,532 Actually, I think Nick's story is much more interesting. Nick? 914 00:59:34,575 --> 00:59:36,869 - This I want to hear. - Yeah. 915 00:59:39,496 --> 00:59:41,248 Nicholas? 916 00:59:41,373 --> 00:59:44,501 Well, this is hard to admit, but... 917 00:59:46,211 --> 00:59:48,755 I've never had sex. 918 00:59:53,552 --> 00:59:55,387 You're a virgin? 919 00:59:56,597 --> 00:59:57,848 Yes. 920 01:00:02,644 --> 01:00:04,938 That is so sexy. Am I right? 921 01:00:05,022 --> 01:00:06,982 - It's hot. - Really? 922 01:00:07,024 --> 01:00:08,734 - Yeah. - Do you have a girlfriend? 923 01:00:08,817 --> 01:00:11,361 - No. Never. - Have you ever kissed a girl? 924 01:00:11,486 --> 01:00:14,364 Yeah, a couple oftimes in junior high playing truth or dare... 925 01:00:14,489 --> 01:00:17,117 but they weren't like real kisses. 926 01:00:17,201 --> 01:00:18,535 No tongue? 927 01:00:19,286 --> 01:00:22,456 I guess, but more than that. They werejust stiff. 928 01:00:22,581 --> 01:00:24,458 Not like I imagined that they should be. 929 01:00:24,583 --> 01:00:26,835 Nick, come here for a second. 930 01:00:30,589 --> 01:00:32,341 Oh, my God. 931 01:00:55,447 --> 01:00:57,741 Now, don't fall in love with me or anything, okay? 932 01:00:59,618 --> 01:01:01,787 That wasjust to get you through junioryear. 933 01:01:01,828 --> 01:01:03,497 All right. 934 01:01:06,792 --> 01:01:08,836 I couldn't resist being your first kiss. 935 01:01:08,919 --> 01:01:10,170 That's right. 936 01:01:10,295 --> 01:01:13,549 Forever and ever, you will be his first kiss. 937 01:01:14,424 --> 01:01:16,468 - Get away from me. - Come on. For symmetry. 938 01:01:16,593 --> 01:01:18,554 No, not a chance. Nick. 939 01:01:19,388 --> 01:01:22,182 - How do you feel? - My heart is beating really fast. 940 01:01:22,266 --> 01:01:24,726 - He knowsjust what to say. - Is he a good kisser? 941 01:01:24,810 --> 01:01:27,646 Oh, he's gonna break some hearts. 942 01:01:28,438 --> 01:01:30,190 How 'bout down below, Nick? 943 01:01:30,315 --> 01:01:32,484 Any, you know, vertical displacement? 944 01:01:32,609 --> 01:01:35,237 Leave him alone. How you doing, Casanova? 945 01:01:35,362 --> 01:01:36,989 - I'm okay. - Sure? 946 01:01:37,072 --> 01:01:38,740 - Yeah. - Okay. 947 01:01:38,866 --> 01:01:42,202 Look, I confess. I'm married. I keep my ring in my wallet. 948 01:01:42,286 --> 01:01:44,288 Even ifyou were married. 949 01:01:48,876 --> 01:01:50,377 Yeah, yeah. 950 01:01:53,172 --> 01:01:54,214 So, Nick. 951 01:01:54,339 --> 01:01:57,551 Take a moment to file this away for later. You understand what I mean? 952 01:01:58,844 --> 01:01:59,928 Just think, Sophie. 953 01:02:00,846 --> 01:02:04,224 In the next six months, every time Nickjerks off, he'll be picturing you. 954 01:02:04,349 --> 01:02:06,185 - Don't be an asshole. - I don't do that, okay? 955 01:02:06,268 --> 01:02:08,729 It's true. Okay, so I'm not married. 956 01:02:08,854 --> 01:02:10,898 What's important is the emotional unavailability, right? 957 01:02:11,023 --> 01:02:12,983 - That's what you look for. - I'm leaving. 958 01:02:15,235 --> 01:02:17,696 And, Sophie, you've even provided young Nicholas here... 959 01:02:17,821 --> 01:02:20,824 with a particular image to help structure his fantasy. 960 01:02:22,034 --> 01:02:23,911 Fuckyou, Roger. Do you have a place to stay tonight? 961 01:02:24,036 --> 01:02:26,455 - He's staying with me. - You can come with us. 962 01:02:26,538 --> 01:02:30,250 He's with me. Unless you're finally ready to do something constructive. 963 01:02:30,375 --> 01:02:32,711 Like help Nick have an orgasm, huh, Sophie? 964 01:02:32,794 --> 01:02:35,923 - It's time to cut your uncle loose. - You're disgusting. We're outta here. 965 01:02:36,048 --> 01:02:37,549 - You take care. - Andrea? 966 01:02:37,633 --> 01:02:39,218 - Oh, disgusting. - Fuckyou. 967 01:02:39,343 --> 01:02:41,178 Ladies? l-- 968 01:02:41,845 --> 01:02:43,764 Was it something he said? 969 01:02:43,847 --> 01:02:45,265 Asshole! 970 01:02:46,391 --> 01:02:49,228 But no. Don't l-- Okay, here's your chance. 971 01:02:49,353 --> 01:02:51,230 What are you talking about? Why did you say that? 972 01:02:51,313 --> 01:02:53,065 Good cop, bad cop. 973 01:02:53,106 --> 01:02:55,609 I planted the seed. Now go and close the deal, all right? 974 01:02:55,734 --> 01:02:57,694 - I can't go-- - You thinkyou'll get a better chance? 975 01:02:57,819 --> 01:03:00,072 Go, for Christ's sake, and remember the primary objective. 976 01:03:00,197 --> 01:03:01,698 Go, go, go! 977 01:03:12,417 --> 01:03:14,419 Run, Nick, run. 978 01:03:22,302 --> 01:03:23,554 Sophie! 979 01:03:24,972 --> 01:03:28,350 Hey, Sophie. I'm sorry. 980 01:03:29,393 --> 01:03:31,770 Don't worry about it. It's not your fault he's a jerk. 981 01:03:31,895 --> 01:03:35,440 I know. I wish it didn't have tojust end like this. 982 01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:38,569 We're going now. 983 01:03:39,361 --> 01:03:41,822 I suggest you call offyour bet and go home. 984 01:03:42,614 --> 01:03:44,700 The bet thing wasjust bullshit, okay? 985 01:03:46,326 --> 01:03:47,661 I know. 986 01:03:49,788 --> 01:03:51,540 You take it easy, okay? 987 01:03:51,665 --> 01:03:54,168 Look, I want us to-- 988 01:03:55,669 --> 01:03:58,213 Don't spoil the wonderful time we had tonight. 989 01:03:59,131 --> 01:04:00,757 You know? 990 01:04:07,097 --> 01:04:09,016 This is to remember me by. 991 01:04:18,483 --> 01:04:20,444 Take care, Nick. 992 01:04:20,485 --> 01:04:22,487 We need more men like you. 993 01:04:48,555 --> 01:04:50,098 Hey. 994 01:04:50,182 --> 01:04:51,266 What happened? 995 01:04:51,350 --> 01:04:53,185 What? Nothing happened. 996 01:04:54,228 --> 01:04:55,187 So you're oh for one. 997 01:04:55,312 --> 01:04:57,314 She wasn't gonna go for it. I couldn't ask her. 998 01:04:57,439 --> 01:05:00,108 - You gonna sleep with Sophie tonight? - It was obvious. She was not-- 999 01:05:00,192 --> 01:05:03,028 Are you going to have sex with Sophie tonight? 1000 01:05:06,198 --> 01:05:08,700 - No. - Then I repeat: you're oh for one. 1001 01:05:08,784 --> 01:05:11,912 You need to learn how to finish. Anyone can get halfway home. 1002 01:05:15,874 --> 01:05:18,085 We're switching to plan B. Hey! 1003 01:05:19,878 --> 01:05:22,548 I think a change ofvenue will improve your luck. 1004 01:05:41,483 --> 01:05:43,527 Wait! Hold up! Stop! 1005 01:06:27,738 --> 01:06:30,157 Do me a favor. Stay here till we're inside. 1006 01:06:30,282 --> 01:06:32,242 - So where we goin'? - Finish up. 1007 01:06:35,162 --> 01:06:38,290 - We're going to a party. Come on. - Whose party is it? 1008 01:06:40,667 --> 01:06:43,170 Fuck! Over here. Over here. 1009 01:06:44,588 --> 01:06:46,715 Look at this. Beautiful glasswork. 1010 01:07:01,939 --> 01:07:03,357 Whoa, whoa. 1011 01:07:07,319 --> 01:07:08,570 Why we running? 1012 01:07:08,695 --> 01:07:10,572 That doorman has a hateful personality. 1013 01:07:10,697 --> 01:07:13,408 Listen up. It's gonna be a whole new dynamic up there. 1014 01:07:13,492 --> 01:07:14,701 Stay focused. 1015 01:07:14,785 --> 01:07:17,412 Don't talk to any guys. That's a definite rally-killer. 1016 01:07:17,496 --> 01:07:20,290 Keep moving at all times. No hiding in the bathroom. 1017 01:07:21,041 --> 01:07:23,085 Here we are. Hey. 1018 01:07:26,505 --> 01:07:28,715 - Look who it is. - Hey, Chris. How are you? 1019 01:07:28,841 --> 01:07:30,717 This is my nephew Nick. Chris. 1020 01:07:30,843 --> 01:07:32,928 - How are you? - How ya doin'? 1021 01:07:38,058 --> 01:07:41,061 Wait. Do you have a bathroom I could use? 1022 01:07:41,186 --> 01:07:43,105 - A what? - A bathroom I could use? 1023 01:07:43,188 --> 01:07:44,273 A what? 1024 01:07:45,190 --> 01:07:47,192 I've been trying to shake this woman all night. 1025 01:07:49,194 --> 01:07:50,612 This is Donovan. 1026 01:07:50,737 --> 01:07:53,156 I'm the only one here that's my age. 1027 01:07:53,282 --> 01:07:55,576 Where did you think we were going, thejunior prom? 1028 01:07:56,869 --> 01:07:58,412 I think I'm drunk. 1029 01:08:00,998 --> 01:08:02,124 Come here. 1030 01:08:04,835 --> 01:08:07,171 Nick. Do you know where we are? 1031 01:08:08,463 --> 01:08:11,133 - I thinkyou said Greenwich Street. - We're in winning time. 1032 01:08:11,258 --> 01:08:13,552 - Okay. Winning time. - Right. Okay? 1033 01:08:13,677 --> 01:08:16,263 It's a little harder to recognize than when you're in a bar... 1034 01:08:16,346 --> 01:08:18,307 but the concept is the same. 1035 01:08:20,142 --> 01:08:22,394 There's an incredible moment that happens when a party... 1036 01:08:22,477 --> 01:08:25,522 passes its apex, its peak. 1037 01:08:26,607 --> 01:08:29,651 As if by magic, suddenly every person in the room... 1038 01:08:29,776 --> 01:08:31,737 is acutely aware ofthe time. 1039 01:08:31,862 --> 01:08:34,990 It is at that moment that the fear hits. 1040 01:08:35,991 --> 01:08:39,077 - What fear? - The fear ofthe empty apartment. 1041 01:08:40,078 --> 01:08:41,330 Oh. Yeah. 1042 01:08:41,455 --> 01:08:43,665 That is more than most people can stand. 1043 01:08:44,625 --> 01:08:47,836 Desperation creeps into the room like a fog. 1044 01:08:47,961 --> 01:08:50,756 Eyes begin to search the crowd anxiously. 1045 01:08:50,881 --> 01:08:54,218 Standards are drastically lowered. I mean, it's palpable. 1046 01:08:55,135 --> 01:08:57,262 - You know what I'm saying? - Not really. 1047 01:09:00,432 --> 01:09:03,977 What I'm saying is, you have a real shot here, Nick. 1048 01:09:07,189 --> 01:09:11,026 This is the moment that separates a true champion. 1049 01:09:11,109 --> 01:09:13,237 You remember the reason you first asked for my help? 1050 01:09:13,987 --> 01:09:15,280 The primary goal? 1051 01:09:15,405 --> 01:09:17,366 - Yes. - Then let me help you... 1052 01:09:17,491 --> 01:09:19,284 to achieve it. 1053 01:09:31,004 --> 01:09:33,298 All right. So. 1054 01:09:33,423 --> 01:09:36,385 We need to scope out who the drinkers are. 1055 01:09:36,510 --> 01:09:39,346 Every party needs a pace car, a rabbit. 1056 01:09:40,430 --> 01:09:43,559 Always look for the girls who are two drinks ahead ofeverybody else. 1057 01:09:43,642 --> 01:09:45,227 How do you do that? 1058 01:09:45,310 --> 01:09:47,729 Listen for inappropriately loud bursts of laughter... 1059 01:09:47,896 --> 01:09:50,107 or scan the crowd for somebody spilling a drink. 1060 01:09:50,190 --> 01:09:53,902 Check the dance floor for somebody working out oftheir zone. 1061 01:09:53,986 --> 01:09:55,904 How about them? They seem pretty drunk. 1062 01:10:00,117 --> 01:10:01,410 Good afternoon. 1063 01:10:02,911 --> 01:10:06,790 God, this is so embarrassing. I don't know how this happened. 1064 01:10:06,915 --> 01:10:09,626 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 1065 01:10:09,668 --> 01:10:10,961 Hey, Donna. 1066 01:10:12,504 --> 01:10:14,214 - Hi. - How ya doin'? 1067 01:10:14,298 --> 01:10:15,924 - Well-- - Good. Listen. 1068 01:10:16,049 --> 01:10:17,926 This is my nephew I want to introduce. Nick. 1069 01:10:18,051 --> 01:10:20,137 - Hi. - I saw you earlier at the office. 1070 01:10:20,262 --> 01:10:22,306 Hi, Nick. Donna. 1071 01:10:22,431 --> 01:10:24,933 - Nice to see you. - You too. 1072 01:10:26,894 --> 01:10:29,479 - Roger's showing you the town? - Yeah, some of it. 1073 01:10:30,314 --> 01:10:31,899 Yeah, Nick's visiting. 1074 01:10:32,024 --> 01:10:34,234 Why don't you tell Donna about the bet we got going. 1075 01:10:34,359 --> 01:10:35,986 - See you in a second. - Huh? Wait. 1076 01:10:36,862 --> 01:10:40,240 What bet? What's he got you involved in? 1077 01:10:40,324 --> 01:10:42,784 - Oh, it's nothing. Really. - What is this? 1078 01:10:42,826 --> 01:10:44,786 Oh, that. I don't even know. 1079 01:10:44,870 --> 01:10:46,246 - It's cute. - Thanks. 1080 01:10:46,330 --> 01:10:48,081 I don't even use it. 1081 01:10:48,248 --> 01:10:50,626 Eighty. Hot. Eighty degrees. 1082 01:10:50,709 --> 01:10:52,920 That is hot. Yeah. 1083 01:10:55,506 --> 01:10:59,801 We made a bet whether I can get someone to fall in love with me tonight. 1084 01:10:59,927 --> 01:11:01,220 Wow. 1085 01:11:01,929 --> 01:11:04,264 - For how much? - A thousand bucks. 1086 01:11:05,974 --> 01:11:07,559 Get outta here. 1087 01:11:09,061 --> 01:11:11,021 Well, so, how's it going so far? 1088 01:11:12,940 --> 01:11:14,983 Excuse me. Thankyou. 1089 01:11:15,984 --> 01:11:17,945 Thankyou. Cheers. 1090 01:11:18,028 --> 01:11:19,196 Yeah. 1091 01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:22,032 To love. 1092 01:11:35,504 --> 01:11:37,464 Oh, hello. 1093 01:11:37,548 --> 01:11:41,301 You're not the infamous Roger Swanson I've heard so much about, are you? 1094 01:11:41,301 --> 01:11:42,594 That's me. Yes. 1095 01:11:42,719 --> 01:11:46,348 Joyce says ofall of her copy people, you are the funniest. 1096 01:11:46,431 --> 01:11:48,392 - I'm a laugh riot. - No, she says that. 1097 01:11:48,433 --> 01:11:50,769 - Why would I lie? - What's your name? 1098 01:11:50,853 --> 01:11:53,021 I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself. 1099 01:11:53,063 --> 01:11:56,024 I'm Patricia.Joyce and I went to college together. 1100 01:11:56,066 --> 01:11:58,193 Nice to meet you. Patty, would you do me a favor? 1101 01:11:58,277 --> 01:12:00,445 Sure. I can certainly try. 1102 01:12:00,529 --> 01:12:03,490 See that kid right over there in the corner? 1103 01:12:03,615 --> 01:12:05,576 - Yeah. - That's my nephew Nick. 1104 01:12:05,701 --> 01:12:07,578 - Oh, really. He's so cute. - He is. 1105 01:12:07,703 --> 01:12:09,788 - He's still a virgin. - No! 1106 01:12:09,872 --> 01:12:12,457 - Swear to God. - Poor boy. How old is he? 1107 01:12:12,583 --> 01:12:14,001 He's 1 6. Now, listen. 1108 01:12:14,168 --> 01:12:17,004 My time withJoyce taught me that older women fuck likejackrabbits... 1109 01:12:17,129 --> 01:12:20,090 and Nick is at his absolute peak sexually. 1110 01:12:20,215 --> 01:12:22,134 So, I figure, the two ofyou go at it... 1111 01:12:22,217 --> 01:12:24,136 it would be like Frazier and Ali. 1112 01:12:24,219 --> 01:12:26,013 - Right? - Something is wrong with you. 1113 01:12:26,096 --> 01:12:28,891 No, I'm serious. What do you say? 1114 01:12:29,016 --> 01:12:32,144 - As a kind ofa... - I'm gonna-- 1115 01:12:32,186 --> 01:12:34,062 Red Cross moment or-- 1116 01:12:34,104 --> 01:12:36,190 Okay. Nice to see you. 1117 01:12:53,123 --> 01:12:56,668 - How's it goin' over here? - Hey, Roger. 1118 01:12:56,752 --> 01:12:59,838 - Now, who let you in? - Who let me in? You let me in. 1119 01:12:59,963 --> 01:13:01,298 What? 1120 01:13:02,049 --> 01:13:04,384 You know, Nick here is a real ladies' man. 1121 01:13:04,468 --> 01:13:06,428 You're lucky he's spending all this time with you. 1122 01:13:06,512 --> 01:13:08,805 Yeah, that's me. The lucky lady. 1123 01:13:10,933 --> 01:13:14,436 Actually... I think I had too much to drink. 1124 01:13:14,603 --> 01:13:16,730 - Uh-oh. - Would you like to lie down? 1125 01:13:16,855 --> 01:13:19,024 Nick, Nick. Excellent idea. 1126 01:13:19,107 --> 01:13:21,818 Good one. Come on, darling. Let's find you a place to lie down. 1127 01:13:21,944 --> 01:13:23,820 Oh, no.Just when things were getting good. 1128 01:13:23,904 --> 01:13:25,864 Things are still good. 1129 01:13:30,536 --> 01:13:32,538 - Come on. - Where are we going? 1130 01:13:32,663 --> 01:13:34,581 - We're going. - We are? 1131 01:13:34,623 --> 01:13:37,417 We're going right around this little corner. 1132 01:13:37,543 --> 01:13:39,503 - Here we go. - I forgot to eat. 1133 01:13:44,508 --> 01:13:46,677 Nick, stay with us. Keep close. 1134 01:13:46,802 --> 01:13:48,262 - Okay. - Good. 1135 01:13:48,303 --> 01:13:50,931 - All right. So I'll just-- - Oh, excellent. 1136 01:13:52,182 --> 01:13:54,476 - Are you all right? - I'll just leave you two together. 1137 01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:56,061 - Okay. - No, don't go. 1138 01:13:56,103 --> 01:13:58,689 - You're in capable hands, believe me. - What are you doing? 1139 01:13:58,772 --> 01:14:00,274 Hang on a second. 1140 01:14:11,994 --> 01:14:13,996 What are we gonna do? 1141 01:14:14,037 --> 01:14:17,958 We are not gonna do anything... at all. 1142 01:14:26,175 --> 01:14:28,177 I'll be on guard duty, okay? 1143 01:14:30,053 --> 01:14:33,348 You need to work fast. If I were you, I'd switch to the two-minute offense. 1144 01:14:33,390 --> 01:14:35,684 What are you talking about? Wait, Uncle Roger-- 1145 01:14:36,101 --> 01:14:37,394 Love you. 1146 01:14:41,398 --> 01:14:42,858 Don't go. 1147 01:14:56,288 --> 01:14:57,748 Oh, let me introduce you. 1148 01:14:57,873 --> 01:14:59,791 This is Donovan Lehman, Christopher Weland... 1149 01:14:59,917 --> 01:15:01,668 our two collaborators. 1150 01:15:01,752 --> 01:15:03,670 I think they're gonna be perfect foryou. 1151 01:15:03,754 --> 01:15:06,882 You told me you wanted something a little bit magic, a bit surreal. 1152 01:15:06,924 --> 01:15:09,510 Hey, hey, Donovan. How are you, man? 1153 01:15:09,593 --> 01:15:11,970 - Roger. Hey, man. - How are you? 1154 01:15:12,012 --> 01:15:13,347 Hey, Chris. 1155 01:15:14,598 --> 01:15:15,849 Look at you two. 1156 01:15:15,974 --> 01:15:19,269 You seem like the happy couple. What's your secret? 1157 01:15:19,436 --> 01:15:22,022 Sorry. You know what they say about dipping the pen in the company ink. 1158 01:15:23,482 --> 01:15:26,860 - I guess so. - I know what they say. Yes, they do. 1159 01:15:29,112 --> 01:15:30,405 All right. 1160 01:15:48,382 --> 01:15:49,842 Look at you. 1161 01:18:04,768 --> 01:18:06,186 Go to sleep. 1162 01:18:39,595 --> 01:18:41,346 I think we got sidetracked there. 1163 01:18:41,430 --> 01:18:43,682 Seriously, Donovan, with all the pressure facing men today... 1164 01:18:43,807 --> 01:18:45,809 it's got to be tough to maintain a relationship. 1165 01:18:45,893 --> 01:18:47,853 I don't know. Let's ask a man. Chris? 1166 01:18:47,895 --> 01:18:49,897 Traditional male roles are being tossed aside... 1167 01:18:49,980 --> 01:18:52,649 before we have any chance to make an internal shift, don't you think? 1168 01:18:52,774 --> 01:18:56,320 Our culture seems designed to emasculate and infantilize. 1169 01:18:57,321 --> 01:18:59,489 - That's a strong statement. - Why don't you go and... 1170 01:18:59,615 --> 01:19:01,200 help yourselfto some food? 1171 01:19:01,283 --> 01:19:03,660 It's particularly true in a situation when the woman is... 1172 01:19:03,702 --> 01:19:06,121 two decades older than the man. 1173 01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:09,374 - Roger! - Approximately. 1174 01:19:12,794 --> 01:19:14,755 We were having this discussion the other day-- 1175 01:19:14,838 --> 01:19:17,341 Is it your mission in life to humiliate yourself? 1176 01:19:17,424 --> 01:19:19,510 It's more ofa hobby really. 1177 01:19:19,593 --> 01:19:21,637 I want you to leave right now. 1178 01:19:21,762 --> 01:19:23,889 You want me to leave and go where? 1179 01:19:24,932 --> 01:19:27,643 Think very hard about what you're doing. 1180 01:19:27,768 --> 01:19:30,020 Go where,Joyce? Where do you want me to go? 1181 01:19:33,148 --> 01:19:34,399 You're through. 1182 01:19:34,525 --> 01:19:36,860 You lied to me. You are a liar. 1183 01:19:36,944 --> 01:19:39,029 - I want you to leave. - Who's he? 1184 01:19:39,154 --> 01:19:40,906 Who the fuck is he? 1185 01:19:41,031 --> 01:19:42,783 Who the fuck is he? 1186 01:19:42,866 --> 01:19:44,868 Who is he? What-- 1187 01:19:48,330 --> 01:19:49,623 Don't get comfortable. 1188 01:19:51,166 --> 01:19:54,127 Don't ever settle in like you own the place. Trust me. 1189 01:19:55,838 --> 01:19:57,840 There's always something gaining on you. 1190 01:19:58,674 --> 01:20:01,885 And here they come now. Hey, guys. Good luck. 1191 01:20:02,010 --> 01:20:03,804 Sorry. Take care now. 1192 01:20:04,972 --> 01:20:08,058 Let me get a coat here. Take care. 1193 01:20:08,100 --> 01:20:10,561 Nice to see you. Thanks,Joyce! Bye-bye! 1194 01:20:12,396 --> 01:20:13,897 Whatjust happened? 1195 01:20:13,939 --> 01:20:15,899 Excuse me. I'm sorry. 1196 01:20:29,705 --> 01:20:31,748 That didn't go exactly as I had hoped. 1197 01:20:36,837 --> 01:20:39,047 What happened in there? What were you shouting about? 1198 01:20:39,131 --> 01:20:41,091 Doesn't matter. What about you? 1199 01:20:41,216 --> 01:20:43,093 - Did you get it on with Donna? - No. 1200 01:20:43,218 --> 01:20:46,054 - Why not? - Are you kidding? She was passed out! 1201 01:20:46,138 --> 01:20:51,059 Nick, you have had one golden opportunity after another this evening. 1202 01:20:51,143 --> 01:20:53,687 You haven't exactly shown yourself to be a clutch player. 1203 01:20:53,770 --> 01:20:55,772 - Hey! - What happened in there? 1204 01:20:55,856 --> 01:20:58,192 - Are you drunk? - I'm going home. 1205 01:20:58,275 --> 01:21:00,694 - Where do you need to be dropped? - What? 1206 01:21:00,819 --> 01:21:02,112 That's it? 1207 01:21:03,238 --> 01:21:06,200 We've had a full evening. I thinkyou're ready to fly solo. 1208 01:21:08,535 --> 01:21:11,163 - You said there was a fail-safe. - What fail-safe? 1209 01:21:12,122 --> 01:21:14,208 Back at the bar. You said there was a fail-safe. 1210 01:21:14,291 --> 01:21:15,501 Did l? 1211 01:21:17,294 --> 01:21:20,881 - I don't thinkyou want the fail-safe. - No, I want it!Just stop. 1212 01:21:20,964 --> 01:21:22,674 - You sure? - Yes, I'm sure. 1213 01:21:22,799 --> 01:21:25,135 I'm not going home like this, all right? 1214 01:21:25,219 --> 01:21:26,553 I'm sure. Okay? 1215 01:21:28,972 --> 01:21:30,891 You know what? You're right. 1216 01:21:30,974 --> 01:21:34,102 Why give into a slump? Let's go down swinging. 1217 01:21:34,186 --> 01:21:36,688 - Yes. Like Michael Jordan. - Right. 1218 01:21:36,813 --> 01:21:39,775 That's the wrong sport, but I like your enthusiasm. Let's go. 1219 01:22:12,099 --> 01:22:13,559 All right. Thanks. 1220 01:22:31,118 --> 01:22:32,661 Come on. Come on. 1221 01:23:28,217 --> 01:23:30,552 Hey. Two of us. 1222 01:23:30,677 --> 01:23:32,137 That's 200. 1223 01:23:37,017 --> 01:23:38,602 One... two. 1224 01:23:41,271 --> 01:23:43,774 - Is he a minor? - I'm an actor. I'm researching a role. 1225 01:25:00,017 --> 01:25:01,810 It's a hundred to fuck me. 1226 01:25:19,870 --> 01:25:21,079 Tip. 1227 01:25:42,392 --> 01:25:43,519 Come on. 1228 01:25:51,151 --> 01:25:53,237 Wait.Just slow down. 1229 01:25:56,782 --> 01:25:58,200 Please slow down. 1230 01:26:53,839 --> 01:26:56,425 - We're goin' home. - Hey! Hey! 1231 01:26:56,550 --> 01:26:58,510 - What are you doing? - Easy, easy. 1232 01:26:58,594 --> 01:27:01,471 Get outta here. Motherfucker, get off me! 1233 01:27:01,555 --> 01:27:04,224 Motherfucker, get off me! 1234 01:27:04,349 --> 01:27:07,019 - Get off me! - Get outta here! 1235 01:27:07,102 --> 01:27:08,478 Nick! 1236 01:27:17,487 --> 01:27:18,822 Nick. 1237 01:27:24,369 --> 01:27:26,455 Nick, don't worry about it. 1238 01:27:34,171 --> 01:27:36,215 It's okay. It's all right! 1239 01:27:39,718 --> 01:27:40,802 Nick! 1240 01:27:43,847 --> 01:27:45,349 Chill! 1241 01:27:46,725 --> 01:27:48,685 It's all right, man. 1242 01:27:49,770 --> 01:27:51,063 Jesus. 1243 01:28:16,547 --> 01:28:18,674 Fucking booze. 1244 01:28:28,767 --> 01:28:30,018 Come on. 1245 01:29:14,521 --> 01:29:15,856 Come here. 1246 01:29:16,899 --> 01:29:19,026 -Jesus. - Don't tell-- 1247 01:29:19,067 --> 01:29:20,611 Go to sleep. 1248 01:29:31,288 --> 01:29:32,539 Okay. 1249 01:31:09,887 --> 01:31:11,805 Roger, pick up thegoddamnphone. 1250 01:31:11,972 --> 01:31:14,224 Nick isgone. No one'sseen him in two days. 1251 01:31:14,349 --> 01:31:17,311 Iam frantic, andlneedyou to callme, please. 1252 01:31:44,922 --> 01:31:46,507 Oh, my God. 1253 01:31:54,932 --> 01:31:56,391 There's coffee. 1254 01:31:59,144 --> 01:32:00,646 I don't drink caffeine. 1255 01:32:02,564 --> 01:32:03,524 Yes. 1256 01:32:08,278 --> 01:32:10,197 I keep losing my balance. 1257 01:32:11,281 --> 01:32:13,116 - That'll pass. - Yeah. 1258 01:32:15,494 --> 01:32:16,912 So, Nick... 1259 01:32:17,663 --> 01:32:19,540 tell me more about Columbia. 1260 01:32:19,665 --> 01:32:21,625 What did you think ofthe campus? 1261 01:32:24,336 --> 01:32:26,922 I don't know. It was fine. 1262 01:32:29,341 --> 01:32:32,052 Did you... Iook around the neighborhood? 1263 01:32:32,135 --> 01:32:35,764 Maybe you could tell me about the different things you saw on your tour. 1264 01:32:42,062 --> 01:32:44,356 I'm sorry I got so mad. 1265 01:32:45,732 --> 01:32:47,276 You're what? 1266 01:32:48,861 --> 01:32:50,237 Last night. 1267 01:32:53,115 --> 01:32:56,118 You were trying to teach me the way that things are done, and l-- 1268 01:32:57,744 --> 01:33:00,664 I guess I kept fucking it up. So-- 1269 01:33:00,789 --> 01:33:03,041 So I shouldn't have gotten so mad. 1270 01:33:03,917 --> 01:33:07,087 I'm... sorry I disappointed you. 1271 01:33:10,299 --> 01:33:11,842 Uh-huh. Okay. 1272 01:33:11,925 --> 01:33:14,219 Anyone can have an off night. It's happened to me. 1273 01:33:17,139 --> 01:33:19,057 You said you score every night. 1274 01:33:19,141 --> 01:33:21,059 I say a lot ofthings. Look, Nick. 1275 01:33:23,604 --> 01:33:25,480 Call your mom, will you? 1276 01:33:25,606 --> 01:33:27,524 I'm sure she would like to hear from you. 1277 01:33:28,525 --> 01:33:30,319 Forget it. I'll see her when I get home. 1278 01:33:30,402 --> 01:33:32,404 Call her anyway. Come on. 1279 01:33:44,499 --> 01:33:46,460 I'll leave you to it. 1280 01:33:56,220 --> 01:33:58,180 I guess I'll see you at the next funeral. 1281 01:33:58,305 --> 01:33:59,515 Why? Who's sick? 1282 01:34:00,390 --> 01:34:01,975 What? No, I'm kidding. 1283 01:34:02,100 --> 01:34:03,268 Me too. 1284 01:34:06,355 --> 01:34:08,273 All right. Good-bye, Uncle Roger. 1285 01:34:08,357 --> 01:34:09,816 See you, Nick. 1286 01:34:18,408 --> 01:34:20,202 Don't tip. I got it. 1287 01:34:38,637 --> 01:34:41,306 How long does it usually take to get to the airport? 1288 01:34:41,431 --> 01:34:43,851 - About a half hour, sir. - Right. 1289 01:36:00,302 --> 01:36:02,054 You see Angela today? 1290 01:36:02,179 --> 01:36:04,181 - How come? - No bra. 1291 01:36:07,726 --> 01:36:09,353 I swear to God. 1292 01:36:10,312 --> 01:36:13,232 That's unhealthy. They're gonna sag when she gets older. 1293 01:36:13,315 --> 01:36:14,441 Fuck 'em up. 1294 01:36:14,566 --> 01:36:16,527 So go tell her, Nick. 1295 01:36:16,610 --> 01:36:17,819 What? 1296 01:36:19,530 --> 01:36:20,864 Go tell her. 1297 01:36:20,989 --> 01:36:22,699 Yeah, maybe she doesn't know. 1298 01:36:22,824 --> 01:36:25,536 - You know, you'd be doing her a favor. - Yeah. 1299 01:36:25,619 --> 01:36:27,204 A true favor. 1300 01:36:27,329 --> 01:36:28,580 Yeah. 1301 01:36:57,985 --> 01:36:59,987 Look who dropped by for a visit. 1302 01:37:03,782 --> 01:37:05,325 Girls. 1303 01:37:06,577 --> 01:37:07,953 Young women. 1304 01:37:10,789 --> 01:37:13,250 Female human beings. 1305 01:37:15,502 --> 01:37:17,838 Female hearts beating beneath... 1306 01:37:17,963 --> 01:37:19,673 those tight sweaters. 1307 01:37:19,798 --> 01:37:23,010 Feminine blood coursing through their veins. 1308 01:37:23,135 --> 01:37:26,763 Living, breathing girls. 1309 01:37:28,765 --> 01:37:31,727 What are you young men in the prime ofyour lives doing about this? 1310 01:37:31,810 --> 01:37:33,520 I'm doing plenty. 1311 01:37:33,687 --> 01:37:35,689 - Yeah? You're getting plenty ofaction? - Oh, yeah. 1312 01:37:35,772 --> 01:37:37,441 He has to beat 'em off with a stick. 1313 01:37:37,566 --> 01:37:42,321 Unfortunately, I'm not talking about "whack-off.com," okay? 1314 01:37:42,404 --> 01:37:45,115 I'm talking about the girls in this room. 1315 01:37:45,240 --> 01:37:47,242 I'm talking about communicating. 1316 01:37:47,367 --> 01:37:48,952 I'm talking about engaging. 1317 01:37:49,077 --> 01:37:51,538 I'm talking about standing up from this... 1318 01:37:53,207 --> 01:37:57,336 guys-only, Star Trek-convention, frankly, homoerotic little group... 1319 01:37:58,629 --> 01:38:01,006 and introducing yourself to one ofthese girls. 1320 01:38:01,089 --> 01:38:03,008 Yeah, but I always get so nervous. 1321 01:38:03,091 --> 01:38:05,385 Why? There's nothing at stake. 1322 01:38:05,469 --> 01:38:07,596 Ifthere was a chance ofyou actually getting laid... 1323 01:38:07,721 --> 01:38:09,473 then you'd have a reason to be nervous. 1324 01:38:09,556 --> 01:38:11,475 Try working someone in a bar for three hours... 1325 01:38:11,558 --> 01:38:14,686 and then you gotta close the deal right before last call. 1326 01:38:14,770 --> 01:38:16,730 That's pressure. Okay? 1327 01:38:17,648 --> 01:38:19,983 You guys can treat this like it's a warm-up. 1328 01:38:21,026 --> 01:38:23,862 You're trying to find your style. So you get nervous? 1329 01:38:23,987 --> 01:38:26,949 Maybe you're the nervous guy. Maybe that's your hook. 1330 01:38:27,074 --> 01:38:29,868 So go ahead and blush. Stutter all you want. 1331 01:38:30,661 --> 01:38:32,871 Show her how she makes you feel. 1332 01:38:32,996 --> 01:38:35,207 Think of it. You're combining honesty and flattery. 1333 01:38:35,290 --> 01:38:37,125 - That's lethal. - Yeah, but... 1334 01:38:37,251 --> 01:38:39,711 you can't let a girl know how nervous you are. 1335 01:38:39,795 --> 01:38:42,047 You gotta let her know you're in control, right? 1336 01:38:44,091 --> 01:38:45,926 "In control"? Who is this guy? 1337 01:38:46,009 --> 01:38:48,387 You're in high school. You don't control any-- Look at your face. 1338 01:38:48,470 --> 01:38:50,556 Look at what you're eating, for Christ's sake. 1339 01:38:50,681 --> 01:38:52,558 Look at that shirt. 1340 01:38:52,641 --> 01:38:54,059 In control. 1341 01:38:54,893 --> 01:38:56,603 All right. 1342 01:38:56,687 --> 01:38:58,647 Who's the one you guys are all desperate to talk to? 1343 01:38:58,730 --> 01:38:59,773 Angela. 1344 01:39:00,816 --> 01:39:01,775 Definitely. 1345 01:39:04,069 --> 01:39:06,864 - Angela. - Okay. Here's what you could say. 1346 01:39:09,408 --> 01:39:11,577 Hi, Angela. My name is-- What is it? 1347 01:39:11,660 --> 01:39:13,662 - Darren. - My name is Darren. 1348 01:39:16,248 --> 01:39:19,251 Every time I see you in the hall, I have the urge to talk to you. 1349 01:39:19,918 --> 01:39:22,171 So I try to think ofsomething clever to say... 1350 01:39:22,296 --> 01:39:24,506 but I get so nervous... 1351 01:39:26,425 --> 01:39:28,844 that nothing comes out. 1352 01:39:28,886 --> 01:39:32,097 We don't know each other right now, but I'd like to maybe... 1353 01:39:32,890 --> 01:39:35,851 invite you out for a soda sometime so that we could talk. 1354 01:39:35,934 --> 01:39:37,895 I'd like to see what we have in common. 1355 01:39:38,896 --> 01:39:41,064 But most ofall, I'm curious to find out... 1356 01:39:41,148 --> 01:39:43,150 what kind of person you really are... 1357 01:39:43,233 --> 01:39:45,903 because I am tired of looking at you from a dist-- 1358 01:39:46,028 --> 01:39:47,946 And so on and so forth. 1359 01:39:48,030 --> 01:39:49,948 Take that out for a spin. See how it works. 1360 01:39:50,032 --> 01:39:52,534 Yeah. See her turn around and walk back to thejock table. 1361 01:39:52,659 --> 01:39:54,286 - Yeah. - Ifthat happens... 1362 01:39:54,328 --> 01:39:56,330 you go to sleep knowing you gave it your best shot. 1363 01:39:56,371 --> 01:39:58,332 Remember, she has to show you something as well. 1364 01:39:59,416 --> 01:40:01,460 I'd love it ifAngela showed me something. 1365 01:40:02,836 --> 01:40:05,380 - Yeah. Two things. - Yeah! 1366 01:40:06,798 --> 01:40:08,258 I'd lick 'em. 1367 01:40:10,302 --> 01:40:12,971 Well, I tried. Hang in there, Nick. 1368 01:40:13,055 --> 01:40:14,389 Wait. You're going? 1369 01:40:14,515 --> 01:40:17,017 Yeah, I gotta get home, look for work. 1370 01:40:17,142 --> 01:40:19,061 As we speak, consumers everywhere need reminding... 1371 01:40:19,144 --> 01:40:21,104 ofjust how fat and unattractive they are. 1372 01:40:22,814 --> 01:40:24,775 Nice meeting you, men. 1373 01:40:25,526 --> 01:40:27,110 Keep your sense of humor. 1374 01:40:27,819 --> 01:40:31,281 In ten years, you won't even remember what this place looks like. Trust me. 1375 01:40:35,911 --> 01:40:37,871 Dude, your uncle is strange. 1376 01:40:38,664 --> 01:40:40,582 Yeah, I know. I guess he is. 1377 01:40:40,666 --> 01:40:42,543 Yeah, but he's cool. You gonna visit him again? 1378 01:40:45,838 --> 01:40:47,130 I don't know. 1379 01:40:51,218 --> 01:40:52,469 What? 1380 01:40:55,889 --> 01:40:57,057 What? 1381 01:40:59,726 --> 01:41:01,186 Hey, Nick. 1382 01:41:01,353 --> 01:41:03,605 Some guy, I guess he's your uncle... 1383 01:41:03,689 --> 01:41:05,941 he said you had something to tell me. 1384 01:41:08,861 --> 01:41:11,738 He said it would "blow my mind." 1385 01:41:58,118 --> 01:42:01,038 Subtitles En By PiGi