1 00:01:03,126 --> 00:01:08,126 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:02:21,325 --> 00:02:24,450 London Stansted is a smoke-free airport 3 00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,408 and smoking is only permitted... 4 00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:31,325 ..Pass the light. 5 00:02:34,533 --> 00:02:36,575 Here it is. Sweet, sweet, sweet. 6 00:02:36,617 --> 00:02:38,575 Yeah... 7 00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:51,408 Come through for me. 8 00:02:51,450 --> 00:02:53,117 Excellent, it's round this way. 9 00:02:53,158 --> 00:02:56,825 Hands out by your sides, away from your waist. Perfect. 10 00:02:57,908 --> 00:03:00,325 If you make your way down to my colleague, go down there... 11 00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:02,367 Just on this side. Thank you. 12 00:03:04,075 --> 00:03:05,533 - Got anything in your pockets? - Yep. 13 00:03:05,575 --> 00:03:07,742 - Any sharp objects? - This and this. 14 00:03:07,783 --> 00:03:09,075 Okay. 15 00:03:09,117 --> 00:03:10,575 ..my colleague round there. 16 00:03:10,617 --> 00:03:12,117 - Ooh, sorry! - Sorry. 17 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,742 - Thank you. - That's all right. 18 00:03:15,825 --> 00:03:17,408 Oh, sorry! 19 00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:18,950 - Stand here one second. - Yep. 20 00:03:18,992 --> 00:03:21,033 - Do you mind if I search you? - No. Go ahead. 21 00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:23,075 Lift your arms. 22 00:03:27,658 --> 00:03:29,242 Excellent. Come through for me. 23 00:03:31,533 --> 00:03:33,283 - Okay, you're good to go. - Yep. 24 00:03:33,325 --> 00:03:35,783 - Take your things. - Come forward. Yep. 25 00:03:35,825 --> 00:03:38,617 - Thanks. - Feet on the footprints for me. 26 00:03:38,658 --> 00:03:41,075 Awesome. Next one. Excellent. 27 00:03:41,117 --> 00:03:43,617 Hands by your side, like in the photo. Feet on the footprints, please. 28 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:46,117 Do you have anything in your pockets? 29 00:03:46,158 --> 00:03:47,533 Hands by your sides. 30 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:51,158 Excellent, stay still. Into the box for me. Thank you. 31 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,533 Joseph, got one coming down with shoes. 32 00:03:54,575 --> 00:03:57,367 Joseph. Down to my colleague, please. 33 00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:59,367 Stand here, sir. Got anything in your pockets? 34 00:03:59,408 --> 00:04:00,700 - Sharp objects? - I have ticket. 35 00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:02,742 Got anything in your pockets, any sharp objects? 36 00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:05,408 I, I speak little, little English. 37 00:04:05,450 --> 00:04:07,700 I have to search you, sir. 38 00:04:07,742 --> 00:04:09,783 Arms up. Arms out. 39 00:04:09,825 --> 00:04:11,075 Search. 40 00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:14,783 Can you take your shoes off for me? Take your shoes off. Shoes off. 41 00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:17,616 Sorry, guys, come forwards... 42 00:04:19,908 --> 00:04:22,200 Okay, come on through. Come forward for me. 43 00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:24,575 You have to have a search. Right, arms out... 44 00:04:24,617 --> 00:04:26,033 No, no, no, no, no, leave your shoes. 45 00:04:26,075 --> 00:04:27,992 It doesn't matter about your shoes. Stand here. 46 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,200 Sir, I've still got an activation. I'm going to have to call my supervisor. 47 00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,950 I'm going to have to do a private search. I'm going to have to do a private search. 48 00:04:37,992 --> 00:04:40,283 Moj samolot wylatuje, ja, ja sie spoznie, nie rozumiesz? 49 00:04:40,325 --> 00:04:41,992 Moja siostra czeka, prosze... 50 00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:44,325 - No, no, no. - Ja, ja, ja musze jechac! Prosze, prosze! 51 00:04:54,825 --> 00:04:57,075 You don't have to take your shirt off, sir. You don't have to take... 52 00:04:57,117 --> 00:04:58,325 Fuck! 53 00:05:02,908 --> 00:05:04,200 Przepraszam. 54 00:05:05,575 --> 00:05:06,700 Sorry. 55 00:05:12,783 --> 00:05:15,325 I've got to search you now, sir. 56 00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:17,492 No, sir, you don't have to put your arm... 57 00:05:31,117 --> 00:05:32,867 Okay, sir, can you turn around? 58 00:05:40,117 --> 00:05:42,117 Przepraszam. 59 00:05:44,575 --> 00:05:46,575 Okay. 60 00:05:48,742 --> 00:05:50,075 It's okay. 61 00:05:51,533 --> 00:05:55,700 But his telly's so big, it was like having the Sahara in the living room. 62 00:05:55,742 --> 00:05:57,783 The technology they've got these days, it's incredible. 63 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,283 - It's amazing. - Oh, I know. 64 00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:03,158 It's ridiculous. I've been trying to set my laptop up with my TV for weeks now. 65 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,325 Well, why do you need to set your laptop to your TV? 66 00:06:05,367 --> 00:06:07,242 So my daughter can watch all of her movies 67 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,992 and I've also created, like, a little slide show... 68 00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:10,033 That's nice. 69 00:06:10,075 --> 00:06:13,033 ..About all of her baby pictures from birth up until now. 70 00:06:13,075 --> 00:06:14,783 So, she's got, like, the little growth process, 71 00:06:14,825 --> 00:06:16,533 with, like, her little music in the background. 72 00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:19,825 It's just I bought it, like five or six weeks ago. 73 00:06:19,867 --> 00:06:22,617 It just won't recognise the device. I don't know what the hell's going on. 74 00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:24,742 Yeah, they're getting more complicated, aren't they? 75 00:06:24,783 --> 00:06:27,825 - I don't embrace technology well. - Mm. 76 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,200 Have you eaten half a cake? 77 00:06:29,242 --> 00:06:30,992 Yeah! 78 00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:33,950 Anybody else want to have some of this cake or am I gonna be a fat bitch? 79 00:06:33,992 --> 00:06:36,783 - Don't eat carrot cake. - Joseph, do you want some? 80 00:06:36,825 --> 00:06:38,367 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'll have some. 81 00:06:38,408 --> 00:06:40,783 I wouldn't eat that, mate. It's toilet, that cake is toilet. 82 00:06:40,825 --> 00:06:42,200 - What? - What?! 83 00:06:42,242 --> 00:06:43,700 Yep, It's absolute toilet. 84 00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:45,783 - It's a pauper's cake. - Why are you calling it toilet? 85 00:06:45,825 --> 00:06:47,992 Carrot cake's a pauper's cake. It's, like, the shittiest cake you can get, basically. 86 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,408 - I like it. - Who, who's birthday is it? 87 00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,450 - Fuck knows. - Not me. 88 00:06:52,492 --> 00:06:53,992 Fuck knows. 89 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,533 Please be aware that the train doors may close 90 00:06:59,575 --> 00:07:01,867 30 seconds before departure. 91 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,325 And that's enough from you as well, mate. 92 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,992 I don't want this to escalate, please. 93 00:08:08,908 --> 00:08:10,908 Sorry. 94 00:08:51,617 --> 00:08:53,908 These are shitter seats than you've got. 95 00:08:55,283 --> 00:08:57,033 They're walking on the top of the O2 going, 96 00:08:57,075 --> 00:09:00,283 "I think he might be talking about us, I think I just heard something." 97 00:09:00,325 --> 00:09:02,783 Putting on gloves, "Yes, I think he is." 98 00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:04,617 "I'm getting some atmosphere now." 99 00:09:06,492 --> 00:09:08,700 So, look. Do you think I've lost weight? 100 00:09:08,742 --> 00:09:10,533 Is that something... 101 00:09:10,575 --> 00:09:13,117 Come on! 102 00:09:13,158 --> 00:09:15,283 I'm so hungry! 103 00:09:16,492 --> 00:09:19,075 I've got to that stage where it's going back on and I'm in denial. 104 00:09:19,117 --> 00:09:20,992 I'm lying to myself about it. I still weigh myself. 105 00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:24,033 I don't know why I do this to myself, I'm lying to myself. 106 00:09:24,075 --> 00:09:26,408 I literally, just sort of go, "That seems fine. 107 00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:28,783 "What's for breakfast?" 108 00:09:42,158 --> 00:09:43,908 Fuck. 109 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,783 - Down here, sir. - Step on here for me, please, sir. 110 00:10:11,825 --> 00:10:13,367 Anything in your pockets? Any sharps? 111 00:10:13,408 --> 00:10:15,075 No, just my pen. 112 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:19,867 Just wait there for me, sir. Wait there for a second. 113 00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:22,075 Now, look straight ahead and copy the diagram for me. 114 00:10:22,117 --> 00:10:23,783 Take off your jewellery as well. 115 00:10:23,825 --> 00:10:25,700 Place it in the tray. 116 00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:30,242 Now, when my colleague calls you, go ahead. 117 00:10:30,283 --> 00:10:32,158 Sir, if you'd like to come over here, please. 118 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,575 Madam, come over here, please. 119 00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:39,783 - Madam... - Oh, damn. 120 00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:41,825 Thank you. 121 00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,283 Thank you. 122 00:10:48,325 --> 00:10:50,658 Thanks. If you'd like to make your way 123 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:53,158 to the gentleman at the far end there. Please. 124 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,408 Anything in your pockets? Any sharps? 125 00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:00,325 Er, got... got my things... 126 00:11:00,367 --> 00:11:02,158 Feet on the yellow markings for me... 127 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,158 I don't... You can have them, I don't need them. 128 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,908 - Um, put them in the tray. - Can you just wait here for a bit? 129 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,867 - Anything else? - Er... 130 00:11:09,908 --> 00:11:12,033 - Wallet? Keys? - Yes. Wallet. Wallet. 131 00:11:12,075 --> 00:11:14,825 - On the tray. - That's bleeding. 132 00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:18,658 Face forward, face the diagram. Excellent. 133 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,867 I'm going to have to search you, sir. Is that okay? 134 00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:23,908 Excellent. Like to step off and hold that side for me. 135 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,992 It's you! 136 00:11:31,492 --> 00:11:33,367 It's you! 137 00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:36,158 - But, how are you? - I don't know you. 138 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,200 Oh! Okay, okay, okay. 139 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:42,742 But how are you, seriously? 140 00:11:45,533 --> 00:11:47,700 No? 141 00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:51,075 - Do they, do they make you wear that? - Sorry, sir. Thank you. 142 00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:54,533 Hm? 143 00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:56,950 It's... our uniform. 144 00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:01,325 I'm going to have to use the wand on you now, sir. Arms up. 145 00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:04,492 The wand? 146 00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:05,992 - It burns. - It's not burning. 147 00:12:06,033 --> 00:12:08,242 Yeah, eh, that burns! That burns. 148 00:12:11,158 --> 00:12:13,158 Okay, okay, okay. 149 00:12:14,950 --> 00:12:16,783 Thank you. Just wait here for a second. 150 00:12:19,533 --> 00:12:21,950 - And again. - It's not burning you. 151 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,408 You're getting a good reading, though, aren't you, eh? 152 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,450 Excuse me, sir. 153 00:12:26,492 --> 00:12:29,867 Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap. 154 00:12:29,908 --> 00:12:31,325 Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap. 155 00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:34,992 Sir, can you keep your feet on the markings here? Excellent. 156 00:12:36,783 --> 00:12:38,742 Okay, you can lower your arms now, sir. 157 00:12:38,783 --> 00:12:40,158 - It's all right. - Don't. 158 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,533 It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. 159 00:12:42,575 --> 00:12:47,367 I'm, it, it, it's not about people, it's about the whole fucking cosmos. 160 00:12:47,408 --> 00:12:49,117 Hm? It'll be over soon. 161 00:12:50,325 --> 00:12:51,575 Sir, if you'd like to just come over there... 162 00:12:51,617 --> 00:12:52,700 Don't... 163 00:12:52,742 --> 00:12:54,533 - put your hands on me. - It's all right! 164 00:12:54,575 --> 00:12:55,950 God, it's... 165 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,242 It's beautiful. It's beautiful. 166 00:12:58,283 --> 00:13:00,033 It's beautiful. It's beautiful. 167 00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:02,783 Now, listen, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go now. 168 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:06,825 I'm gonna... Listen, I'm gonna go now. And you follow me in 63 seconds. 169 00:13:06,867 --> 00:13:09,742 - Yeah, okay? You follow me. - You all right, Scott? 170 00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:11,658 - 63 seconds, yeah? - Yeah, the gentleman there 171 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,742 in the pin-striped suit, with the bald head. 172 00:13:13,783 --> 00:13:15,492 - 42, now! - Excuse me, sir. 173 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,742 Run! Come on! 174 00:13:17,783 --> 00:13:20,825 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... - No, no, no. Ah! 175 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,950 - Calm down. It's okay. - Come on! Come on! 176 00:13:22,992 --> 00:13:24,575 Calm down, now. Calm down. 177 00:13:24,617 --> 00:13:30,242 Come on! Come on! Come on! 178 00:13:30,283 --> 00:13:33,283 No! No! Argh! 179 00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:36,033 Come on! What are you waiting for? 180 00:13:36,075 --> 00:13:37,908 Argh! Now! 181 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,075 You grabbing, er, passenger's bollocks again, Joseph? 182 00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:44,325 What are you waiting for? 183 00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:47,367 - Calm down! - You let me down! 184 00:13:49,242 --> 00:13:51,075 You! 185 00:13:51,117 --> 00:13:52,992 Come on! 186 00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,283 May I have your attention, please? 187 00:14:20,325 --> 00:14:24,242 Closed circuit television and remote video monitoring is in use. 188 00:14:33,658 --> 00:14:36,783 The fast train now approaching platform one 189 00:14:36,825 --> 00:14:40,658 does not stop here. Please stand well back from the platform edge... 190 00:14:58,492 --> 00:15:00,575 Oh, Dad...! 191 00:15:00,617 --> 00:15:03,242 Hey! 192 00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:04,908 Hey, you just hit me in the leg! 193 00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,283 Excuse me! 194 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,867 - Don't beep at me. - Dad. 195 00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:12,117 - No, don't beep at me! - Dad. 196 00:15:12,158 --> 00:15:14,575 You just drove into me. 197 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,283 No! This is on you! 198 00:15:18,325 --> 00:15:19,783 You've just driven into me! 199 00:15:19,825 --> 00:15:21,575 What is wrong with you?! 200 00:15:21,617 --> 00:15:23,533 Are you seriously just going to ignore me? 201 00:15:23,575 --> 00:15:25,158 - Don't look at him! - Right! 202 00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,825 Your mate there, he's just driven into my leg! 203 00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,325 Dad, are you gonna... 204 00:15:31,658 --> 00:15:34,825 You should not be driving! I've got a photo of you. 205 00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,242 Dad! 206 00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:39,158 Stupid woman! 207 00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,533 Can't drive to save her life. 208 00:15:47,783 --> 00:15:50,117 I thought you were getting the 5:22. 209 00:15:51,908 --> 00:15:53,908 Yeah, I missed it. 210 00:16:43,158 --> 00:16:45,617 Mum? 211 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,450 There's no need to bellow! 212 00:16:54,492 --> 00:16:56,658 You miss your train? 213 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,658 Yeah. 214 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,533 I'm sorry. 215 00:17:01,617 --> 00:17:03,033 Why didn't you call? 216 00:17:04,366 --> 00:17:06,366 My phone died. 217 00:17:10,283 --> 00:17:12,075 Where's he parking? 218 00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:14,116 I don't know. 219 00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:24,700 You get some wear out of this shirt, do you? 220 00:17:24,741 --> 00:17:26,158 Mm? 221 00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:33,325 I've started moving things out the way. 222 00:17:39,742 --> 00:17:41,742 Shut the door! 223 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,200 Too late. 224 00:18:26,450 --> 00:18:28,158 That's heavy, Dad. Let me... 225 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,158 Get out the way! Move, move that box. 226 00:18:33,575 --> 00:18:36,533 - No, not up there, Joseph. - Right. 227 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,492 Outside. 228 00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,450 And these! 229 00:19:01,825 --> 00:19:03,825 Right. 230 00:19:07,075 --> 00:19:08,825 Joyce, you're in the way! 231 00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,283 How do you expect me to...? 232 00:19:15,075 --> 00:19:16,450 Bloody thing. 233 00:19:16,492 --> 00:19:19,367 Wants to go... in there. 234 00:19:28,533 --> 00:19:30,533 And that goes... 235 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:37,658 I've got the instructions, Dad. You've got to remove the transit bolts. 236 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:39,033 It's the exact same set-up 237 00:19:39,075 --> 00:19:40,783 - for all washing machines! - Okay. 238 00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:52,242 - I've got a wrench, Dad. - I don't need a wrench. 239 00:19:54,658 --> 00:19:56,783 It's just I thought you said you wanted me to help you. 240 00:19:56,825 --> 00:19:59,117 Well, that was your mum's idea. 241 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,908 Oh, bloody hell. 242 00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,200 I suppose you had a party... 243 00:20:31,075 --> 00:20:34,075 ..with your friends, on, on your actual birthday, hm? 244 00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,575 I took a cake in to work. 245 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,408 It's a tradition. 246 00:20:49,408 --> 00:20:51,742 So, you've, you've already had cake? 247 00:20:55,117 --> 00:20:57,117 Just a carrot cake. 248 00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:19,575 You swallow so loudly, Joseph. 249 00:22:00,075 --> 00:22:02,075 Where'd you park? 250 00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:08,117 - Dad? - What? 251 00:22:08,158 --> 00:22:09,533 Where'd you park the car? 252 00:22:09,575 --> 00:22:11,825 Oh, just up on Bushmead. 253 00:22:28,533 --> 00:22:31,200 Oh, no! 254 00:22:33,617 --> 00:22:35,700 It was meant to be a surprise. 255 00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:40,575 It'll still be a surprise. 256 00:22:40,617 --> 00:22:42,617 No, it won't. 257 00:22:43,908 --> 00:22:46,242 Go back in, go on! 258 00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:48,783 Go on, go back in and sit down! 259 00:22:58,158 --> 00:23:00,158 Well done. 260 00:23:39,492 --> 00:23:41,533 It's lovely, Mum. 261 00:24:09,033 --> 00:24:11,075 What have you done?! 262 00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:13,908 Jo... No! Joseph, look stay here. 263 00:24:13,950 --> 00:24:16,367 Don't you get blood on the carpet! 264 00:24:16,408 --> 00:24:17,700 - Come here! - Joyce! 265 00:24:17,742 --> 00:24:20,075 - Come here! Joseph! - Joyce, come back! 266 00:24:20,117 --> 00:24:22,617 - Go away and leave. - Ah, leave him. 267 00:24:22,658 --> 00:24:24,117 Open the door... 268 00:24:24,158 --> 00:24:27,575 - Open the door, Joseph! - Don't mollycoddle the boy! 269 00:24:27,617 --> 00:24:29,367 Come on, let me in... 270 00:24:29,408 --> 00:24:31,367 - Joseph! - Aah! 271 00:24:31,408 --> 00:24:33,950 Alan, shut up, you... 272 00:24:33,992 --> 00:24:36,242 Just leave him! I said leave him! 273 00:24:36,283 --> 00:24:38,825 Open the door! Open the door, Joseph! 274 00:24:38,867 --> 00:24:41,075 - Joseph, come out of there! - Don't shout! 275 00:24:41,117 --> 00:24:42,950 You're frightening him! Leave him! 276 00:24:42,992 --> 00:24:45,033 Frightening him! What is he, a little girl? 277 00:24:45,075 --> 00:24:47,783 He's my little boy! 278 00:24:47,825 --> 00:24:49,992 - Leave him alone! - Please! 279 00:24:50,033 --> 00:24:54,242 Alan! Don't go. Don't go. Joseph, come back! 280 00:24:54,283 --> 00:24:57,158 Don't go out there! Don't go out there! 281 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,367 Joseph! 282 00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:47,617 What's wrong with your bike? 283 00:25:47,658 --> 00:25:49,283 There's nothing wrong with the bike. 284 00:25:49,325 --> 00:25:51,575 Then what the fuck are you doing? 285 00:25:51,617 --> 00:25:53,658 How is that your business? 286 00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:56,575 You know you block the way in when you're doing that? 287 00:25:56,617 --> 00:25:57,992 And? 288 00:25:58,033 --> 00:26:00,242 We've all got to fucking walk around you to get inside. 289 00:26:00,283 --> 00:26:01,908 Listen, mate, stop fucking whingeing. 290 00:26:01,950 --> 00:26:04,283 - It's anti-social. - I don't care! 291 00:26:04,325 --> 00:26:08,158 And then, I've got to listen to you fucking revving it all night long! 292 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,992 And I'm tired. 293 00:26:10,033 --> 00:26:11,908 Listen, just go inside and fucking cry, right? 294 00:26:11,950 --> 00:26:15,158 I'm so fucking tired! 295 00:27:43,992 --> 00:27:45,867 - Hey! - Oi! 296 00:27:45,908 --> 00:27:47,825 - Fuck's sake! - Watch what you're doing! 297 00:27:47,867 --> 00:27:49,700 What am I doing? 298 00:27:49,742 --> 00:27:51,325 What you're doing... come here! 299 00:27:51,367 --> 00:27:52,992 You'll fucking kill me! 300 00:27:53,033 --> 00:27:55,283 Oi! Fucking dick! 301 00:28:14,950 --> 00:28:17,408 The next train to arrive on platform five 302 00:28:17,450 --> 00:28:22,283 will be the 10:34 service to London Liverpool Street. 303 00:28:22,325 --> 00:28:25,075 Calling at London Liverpool Street only. 304 00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:27,242 This train is made of eight coaches. 305 00:30:33,908 --> 00:30:35,533 Keep coming through. 306 00:30:35,575 --> 00:30:38,408 Come through, please, sir. 307 00:30:38,450 --> 00:30:41,158 - You can go in that queue. - To your left please, madam. 308 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:42,742 Sir, do you want to step through? 309 00:30:43,825 --> 00:30:45,533 Come through, madam. 310 00:30:45,575 --> 00:30:47,783 Oh, you wanna come through first? There you go. 311 00:30:47,825 --> 00:30:51,242 Could you place all liquids, creams and gels into the plastic bags provided? 312 00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:54,075 Placed outside your hand luggage in a separate tray for me. 313 00:30:54,117 --> 00:30:56,200 Also jackets and belts off as well... 314 00:30:56,242 --> 00:30:58,492 - Scott. - Yeah? 315 00:30:58,533 --> 00:31:00,533 Where is Lily today? 316 00:31:01,950 --> 00:31:03,825 - She's off sick. - What? 317 00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:05,533 She's off sick. 318 00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,408 - Why'd you do that to me? - Do what? 319 00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:10,658 "Mm." 320 00:31:13,450 --> 00:31:15,867 Sorry, can you...? 321 00:31:15,908 --> 00:31:19,325 Place all liquids, creams, gels in the plastic bags provided. 322 00:31:19,367 --> 00:31:21,992 Placed outside your hand luggage in a separate tray. 323 00:31:23,242 --> 00:31:26,325 To your left, please, sir. Yeah, to your left please, madam. 324 00:31:26,367 --> 00:31:27,950 Do you want to step through, please, madam? 325 00:31:27,992 --> 00:31:29,950 Jackets and belts off for me. 326 00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,533 Excuse me, madam. You're only allowed... 327 00:31:34,575 --> 00:31:37,075 You're either going to have to, um, leave the items... 328 00:31:37,117 --> 00:31:38,658 No, I.. I.. I don't have time. 329 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:40,700 I know, but you're only allowed one, 330 00:31:40,742 --> 00:31:43,742 so you can check one of them in. Is there anything that you don't need? 331 00:31:43,783 --> 00:31:45,825 Is there anything that you could throw away? 332 00:31:45,867 --> 00:31:46,950 What's going on, Emre? 333 00:31:46,992 --> 00:31:49,992 This lady's just upset she's got two bags but it's absolutely fine. 334 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:52,158 It's all right, Joseph, you can go back. 335 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,908 - I'm not upset about this. - It's okay. It's not worth crying about. 336 00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:56,783 You're only allowed one bag through. 337 00:31:56,825 --> 00:31:58,908 What have you got, then? What have you got in here? 338 00:31:58,950 --> 00:32:00,242 Joseph, mate. 339 00:32:00,283 --> 00:32:02,367 - What's this? - Joseph. 340 00:32:03,825 --> 00:32:06,242 - What is that? - Joseph, what are you doing? 341 00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:08,742 Mate? 342 00:32:08,783 --> 00:32:10,533 - What is it? It's all fresh. - Scott. 343 00:32:10,575 --> 00:32:11,825 - It's rose. - It's rose? 344 00:32:11,867 --> 00:32:14,367 - Well, you need that, put that there. - Mate, what are you doing? 345 00:32:14,408 --> 00:32:16,408 - Joseph. - Zip this up. 346 00:32:16,450 --> 00:32:20,658 - Come on. - Emre, it really... doesn't... matter. 347 00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:21,950 No, it does. It does matter. 348 00:32:21,992 --> 00:32:23,700 Jinaid, get Siobhan. 349 00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:25,658 - Thank you. - Have a lovely holiday. 350 00:32:25,700 --> 00:32:27,033 Keep coming! 351 00:32:29,367 --> 00:32:30,742 Step up, pop the tray up for me. 352 00:32:30,783 --> 00:32:32,367 - Excuse me. - Yes? 353 00:32:32,408 --> 00:32:34,700 Could you put that in the bin, please? 354 00:32:34,742 --> 00:32:37,242 Place all liquids, creams, gels in the plastic bags provided. 355 00:32:37,283 --> 00:32:38,742 To the left, please, madam. 356 00:32:38,783 --> 00:32:41,950 Any large electrical equipment, iPads, in a separate tray. 357 00:32:41,992 --> 00:32:44,408 To the right please, sir. Sir, just step through. 358 00:32:45,700 --> 00:32:48,950 What are you doing? Scott, are you seeing this? 359 00:32:48,992 --> 00:32:51,075 Joseph, what the fuck is going on? 360 00:32:51,117 --> 00:32:53,033 What you doing? What you doing? 361 00:32:53,075 --> 00:32:54,658 You see that? 362 00:32:59,075 --> 00:33:01,242 Jinaid, what's going on? 363 00:33:02,492 --> 00:33:05,575 He just spat some blood on the floor… Shut it down, guys. 364 00:33:05,617 --> 00:33:06,992 Joseph, Joseph. 365 00:33:07,033 --> 00:33:09,575 - Shut it down, please. - Can you come over here, please? 366 00:33:09,617 --> 00:33:11,325 Joseph, can you come over here, please? 367 00:33:11,367 --> 00:33:13,908 Joseph, what are you playing at? You know the rules, all right? 368 00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:16,617 You don't need me to explain them to you, right? Can you stay still? 369 00:33:16,658 --> 00:33:18,992 What's happening? What, you're laughing, are you? 370 00:33:19,033 --> 00:33:21,617 Why you laughing? 371 00:33:21,658 --> 00:33:23,492 - Is this funny? - I don't fucking know. 372 00:33:23,533 --> 00:33:24,992 Hey! Don't be throwing stuff. 373 00:33:25,033 --> 00:33:27,200 - Woo! - No, don't be throwing stuff. 374 00:33:27,242 --> 00:33:29,617 He's spraying perfume on himself like he's in Selfridges. 375 00:33:29,658 --> 00:33:31,117 I dunno what's going on with this geezer. 376 00:33:31,158 --> 00:33:32,700 - So, whose water is that? - Some geezer. 377 00:33:32,742 --> 00:33:35,908 He's had blood in his mouth, something in his mouth and he spat it out on the floor. 378 00:33:35,950 --> 00:33:38,617 - Why's it got blood in it? - I don't know, Siobhan! I don't... 379 00:33:38,658 --> 00:33:40,242 - What you doing? - Hey! Hey! 380 00:33:40,283 --> 00:33:42,033 What are you doing? 381 00:33:42,075 --> 00:33:44,533 - Get him down now! - Joseph, get down. 382 00:33:44,575 --> 00:33:48,658 - Have some respect for yourself, yeah? - Joseph, do you hear me? 383 00:33:48,700 --> 00:33:50,200 You're done, bruv. You're finished. 384 00:33:50,242 --> 00:33:51,825 Police, police. Lane eight, now. 385 00:33:51,867 --> 00:33:53,533 - Calm it down. - Get him out, Siobhan. 386 00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:55,367 - This is ridiculous! - Get him out! 387 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,033 Keep on coming through, please. 388 00:33:57,075 --> 00:34:00,367 Calm it down! Calm it down! Just leave him. Leave him. 389 00:34:51,075 --> 00:34:53,742 It's one stop. Might be two. 390 00:34:53,783 --> 00:34:55,450 No, it's one. It's definitely.. 391 00:34:55,492 --> 00:34:56,908 Hey! 392 00:34:58,367 --> 00:35:00,992 Oi! 393 00:35:01,033 --> 00:35:02,742 I've got you on camera, mate. 394 00:35:02,783 --> 00:35:04,783 Hey! You streak of piss. 395 00:35:21,408 --> 00:35:23,783 - Hello? - Oh, sorry. 396 00:35:28,908 --> 00:35:30,492 Hello? 397 00:35:30,533 --> 00:35:32,825 - Lily. - Yeah? 398 00:35:32,867 --> 00:35:35,158 It's Joseph. 399 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,992 Joseph? 400 00:35:37,033 --> 00:35:38,325 What you doing here? 401 00:35:38,367 --> 00:35:40,533 Yeah, I, I've come to fix your telly. 402 00:35:58,075 --> 00:36:00,075 Lily? 403 00:36:01,908 --> 00:36:04,408 You all right? 404 00:36:04,450 --> 00:36:07,033 - This your laptop? - Mm-hm. 405 00:36:16,158 --> 00:36:19,033 - Do you want a drink? - No, thanks. 406 00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:27,950 It come with a cable? 407 00:36:27,992 --> 00:36:29,908 I don't think so. 408 00:36:29,950 --> 00:36:31,742 It, it said it was Bluetooth. 409 00:36:31,783 --> 00:36:34,825 Yeah. Simpler with a cable. Should have come with one. 410 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,367 Seriously? For 600 fucking quid and I can't even use it? 411 00:36:40,450 --> 00:36:42,867 Better with a cable. I'll nip out and get one. 412 00:36:42,908 --> 00:36:44,908 - Uh, are you sure? - Yeah! 413 00:37:06,825 --> 00:37:08,075 Cables. 414 00:37:10,867 --> 00:37:12,408 Cables. 415 00:37:21,867 --> 00:37:23,867 Uh, £4.99, please. 416 00:37:28,867 --> 00:37:31,450 Sorry, mate. It's not working. 417 00:37:31,492 --> 00:37:32,658 Try it again? 418 00:37:35,825 --> 00:37:37,825 - Nah, same again. - Try again. 419 00:37:40,492 --> 00:37:42,408 Nah, do you want me to chip and PIN it? 420 00:37:42,450 --> 00:37:44,450 It should work. 421 00:37:46,283 --> 00:37:48,283 PIN in. 422 00:37:50,783 --> 00:37:53,408 Nah. Card error. 423 00:37:54,992 --> 00:37:57,408 There's a supermarket on the corner, five doors down. 424 00:37:57,450 --> 00:37:59,783 There's an ATM there. 425 00:39:13,408 --> 00:39:14,908 Hey. 426 00:39:14,950 --> 00:39:17,033 Your machine's took my card. 427 00:39:17,075 --> 00:39:20,992 - Pardon? - Your machine has taken my card. 428 00:39:21,033 --> 00:39:23,200 Ah, you have to contact to your bank. 429 00:39:23,242 --> 00:39:25,242 It's sucked it in. 430 00:39:26,450 --> 00:39:28,325 - It's a rented machine. - It's sucked in there. 431 00:39:28,367 --> 00:39:31,283 It's a rented machine. Nothing I can do about it. 432 00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:33,992 - You got the key for there? - Sorry. Nothing I can do. 433 00:39:34,033 --> 00:39:36,033 You have to contact to your bank, unfortunately. 434 00:39:36,075 --> 00:39:39,408 - I've got to contact to the bank? - Best way to do it. 435 00:39:39,450 --> 00:39:41,200 - Best way? - Yep. 436 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,117 - Have you got the key? - No, we don't have the key. 437 00:39:44,158 --> 00:39:46,367 You have to contact to the bank. It's a rented machine. 438 00:39:46,408 --> 00:39:48,742 Nothing I can about it, sir. 439 00:39:48,783 --> 00:39:50,783 There's no way you can open it up? 440 00:39:50,825 --> 00:39:52,783 There's no way. Nothing I can do about it. 441 00:39:52,825 --> 00:39:55,450 You have to contact to your bank, unfortunately. 442 00:39:55,492 --> 00:39:57,492 - So sorry. - I have to go to the bank. 443 00:40:37,742 --> 00:40:41,742 Just look at this first statement for me. Yes. Yes. Junior. 444 00:40:41,783 --> 00:40:43,700 That's it... down there. 445 00:40:43,742 --> 00:40:46,992 Yeah, this one, here. It actually says £40 has come out 446 00:40:47,033 --> 00:40:48,908 and it was something that I didn't authorise. 447 00:40:48,950 --> 00:40:51,158 I spoke to, er, somebody at the bank. I don't know whether... 448 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,075 - Yes. - ..and I got repaid it. 449 00:40:54,117 --> 00:40:57,867 Now, this has happened again. So, can you just... 450 00:40:57,908 --> 00:40:59,742 - Can I help you? - Hey. 451 00:40:59,783 --> 00:41:01,450 That machine just ate my card. 452 00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:04,325 - Okay. Do you have any ID on you? - Yeah. 453 00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:12,908 Er, you don't have a passport or driver's license? 454 00:41:12,950 --> 00:41:14,117 No, I don't drive. 455 00:41:14,158 --> 00:41:18,367 Er, I can't do anything for you without any proper identification. 456 00:41:18,408 --> 00:41:21,200 They just told me to contact the bank. 457 00:41:21,242 --> 00:41:22,992 - Do you do online banking? - Yeah. 458 00:41:23,033 --> 00:41:25,575 - Then you can order a new card off there. - Shall I give you my password? 459 00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:27,408 - Er, no. Only you can do it. - And my postcode? 460 00:41:27,450 --> 00:41:30,242 - Only you can do it. - I really just need £4.99 right now. 461 00:41:30,283 --> 00:41:31,575 I'm sorry, sir, I can't do that. 462 00:41:31,617 --> 00:41:33,242 I can give you the password and the postcode. 463 00:41:33,283 --> 00:41:35,200 I'm afraid I can't do that. Sorry, sir. 464 00:41:35,242 --> 00:41:38,908 We don't accept rail cards, only passports and driver's licenses. 465 00:41:40,158 --> 00:41:43,242 Woo! 466 00:41:43,283 --> 00:41:45,200 I just... I can't even... 467 00:41:54,325 --> 00:41:55,408 Fuck! 468 00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:06,700 Fuck! 469 00:42:31,408 --> 00:42:34,158 I should fuckin' run you over next time, mate! 470 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,408 Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?! Huh?! 471 00:42:36,450 --> 00:42:39,658 Look at me I'm talking to you! Who the fuck do you think you are?! 472 00:42:39,700 --> 00:42:42,575 You can't fucking walk around like that, you dickhead! 473 00:42:42,617 --> 00:42:44,617 I'm in a fucking car! 474 00:43:31,408 --> 00:43:33,450 Leave it a few days to a week. 475 00:43:33,492 --> 00:43:34,992 Oh, thank you. 476 00:43:37,033 --> 00:43:39,033 Let us know if it doesn't go in. 477 00:43:49,367 --> 00:43:51,617 - Hi, again. - Hi. 478 00:43:56,783 --> 00:43:58,575 Hurry up. 479 00:44:02,033 --> 00:44:04,033 Give it to me. Now. 480 00:44:10,242 --> 00:44:12,242 All of it. 481 00:44:17,242 --> 00:44:19,658 - Wait, wait. - Have you got a bag? 482 00:44:20,950 --> 00:44:22,325 - Hm? - No. 483 00:44:22,367 --> 00:44:23,992 Fuck. 484 00:44:27,325 --> 00:44:29,325 Hurry up. 485 00:44:32,367 --> 00:44:33,700 Everything. 486 00:44:33,742 --> 00:44:35,783 Is that everything? 487 00:44:35,825 --> 00:44:36,992 - Is that everything? - Yes. 488 00:44:37,033 --> 00:44:39,033 Shit. 489 00:44:41,950 --> 00:44:43,825 Thank you. Sorry. 490 00:45:25,450 --> 00:45:27,158 Fuck! 491 00:45:38,075 --> 00:45:40,450 - Hey. - Did the card work okay? 492 00:45:40,492 --> 00:45:43,075 - Yeah. The cable. - Right. 493 00:45:43,117 --> 00:45:44,908 £4.99. 494 00:45:49,408 --> 00:45:51,158 Woo! 495 00:45:53,283 --> 00:45:55,283 Change. 496 00:46:01,658 --> 00:46:03,617 Two, three, four, five. 497 00:46:03,658 --> 00:46:05,367 - Have you got a bag? - Yeah. 498 00:46:05,408 --> 00:46:07,742 - £5.01 change. - Thank you. 499 00:46:07,783 --> 00:46:09,658 Sorry about that. Hassle, innit? 500 00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:12,867 There you go. 501 00:46:12,908 --> 00:46:14,408 Cheers. 502 00:46:43,367 --> 00:46:45,367 You all right? 503 00:47:42,033 --> 00:47:44,325 That and all, yeah? 504 00:47:44,367 --> 00:47:47,408 Sorry. 505 00:47:47,450 --> 00:47:49,367 £2.99. 506 00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:57,700 Keep the change. 507 00:48:05,117 --> 00:48:07,408 Whoa. Whoa. 508 00:48:09,117 --> 00:48:10,783 Whoa. 509 00:48:11,867 --> 00:48:14,867 Fuck! 510 00:48:35,575 --> 00:48:37,242 - Hey. Hello. - Hello. 511 00:48:51,325 --> 00:48:52,867 - Hey. - Sorry. I fell asleep. 512 00:48:52,908 --> 00:48:54,783 I've got the cable. 513 00:49:06,867 --> 00:49:08,117 Have you been running? 514 00:49:08,158 --> 00:49:09,700 - Eh? - Have you been running? 515 00:49:09,742 --> 00:49:12,492 Yeah. 516 00:49:15,283 --> 00:49:17,242 Right. 517 00:49:25,325 --> 00:49:26,700 Oh, my God. 518 00:49:26,742 --> 00:49:28,450 Right. 519 00:49:29,533 --> 00:49:31,783 Right, and then it goes in here. 520 00:49:35,117 --> 00:49:37,867 - Right. So, press this. - Good afternoon... 521 00:49:37,908 --> 00:49:40,242 - Mm-hm. - Scroll up. Up, up, up. 522 00:49:40,283 --> 00:49:42,325 Press that again, then you're there. 523 00:49:42,367 --> 00:49:43,783 - Oh, brilliant. - Right? 524 00:49:43,825 --> 00:49:46,992 To get back to the telly, press this. 525 00:49:47,033 --> 00:49:49,783 Then you go down. Down, down, down, down, down. 526 00:49:49,825 --> 00:49:51,658 TV, press that. 527 00:49:51,700 --> 00:49:53,242 Cool. 528 00:49:53,283 --> 00:49:54,742 Woo! 529 00:49:56,867 --> 00:49:59,200 What the fuck are you doing? 530 00:50:01,283 --> 00:50:03,200 Can I have a drink of something? 531 00:50:03,242 --> 00:50:05,575 Course you can. 532 00:50:05,617 --> 00:50:07,700 I got that fake cola shit. 533 00:50:07,742 --> 00:50:10,242 It's disgusting, but... 534 00:50:10,283 --> 00:50:15,033 Katie was lying down the floor in Tesco screaming and shouting for it so... 535 00:50:15,075 --> 00:50:17,158 - Yeah. - I thought, "Fuck it, why not?" 536 00:51:56,533 --> 00:51:58,283 Oh, fuck! 537 00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:00,867 Oh! 538 00:52:35,783 --> 00:52:38,492 Fuck. 539 00:53:51,658 --> 00:53:53,033 Pardon me. 540 00:53:54,283 --> 00:53:56,408 Are you off? 541 00:53:59,117 --> 00:54:01,992 Thanks for the cola. 542 00:54:02,033 --> 00:54:04,825 Thank you for fixing my TV. 543 00:54:04,867 --> 00:54:06,450 You're welcome. 544 00:56:40,158 --> 00:56:41,617 Hey, that pen don't work. 545 00:56:41,658 --> 00:56:44,658 Oh, sorry, man. Sorry. They're useless. Here you go. 546 00:56:44,700 --> 00:56:46,075 How you doing? You all right? 547 00:56:46,117 --> 00:56:48,033 - Mm-hm. - Good stuff. 548 00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:50,075 - Where you going? - Vape. 549 00:56:50,117 --> 00:56:51,950 You do know the risks about vaping, don't you? 550 00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,158 Such as? 551 00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:56,700 Well, it can make you look sort of stupid. 552 00:56:56,742 --> 00:56:59,075 - So stupid? - Yeah, like really stupid. 553 00:56:59,117 --> 00:57:01,658 - Like, like right now. - No, no. Not right now. 554 00:57:01,700 --> 00:57:04,325 When you go out there, like... 555 00:57:06,033 --> 00:57:07,783 Whatever. 556 00:57:07,825 --> 00:57:09,825 - See you in a bit. - See you. 557 00:57:16,575 --> 00:57:18,575 We did that at the same time. 558 00:57:18,617 --> 00:57:20,533 Is that your phone? I thought that was my phone! 559 00:57:20,575 --> 00:57:22,492 We got the same ringtone! 560 00:57:24,450 --> 00:57:25,742 Sorry. 561 00:57:30,867 --> 00:57:33,742 I've got a gun. Do it. 562 00:57:33,783 --> 00:57:35,992 Don't fuck about. 563 00:57:36,033 --> 00:57:38,575 - Quickly. Hurry up. - All right. 564 00:57:39,742 --> 00:57:41,867 Wait. Got a bag? 565 00:57:41,908 --> 00:57:44,367 - I don't have a bag. - That's a bag. 566 00:57:44,408 --> 00:57:46,408 - No, but that... - Get it. 567 00:57:48,867 --> 00:57:51,200 - Do it now. - No, it won't... It won't fit. 568 00:57:51,242 --> 00:57:53,283 Well, fucking unpack it. Unpack it. 569 00:57:55,908 --> 00:57:57,908 Go on! 570 00:58:03,117 --> 00:58:04,533 Come on. Hurry. 571 00:58:06,492 --> 00:58:08,367 Give me all of it. Everything. 572 00:58:08,408 --> 00:58:10,950 That's it. Take it. 573 00:58:14,283 --> 00:58:17,158 That's it. 574 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,283 Hello. Can I just post that for us. 575 00:58:19,325 --> 00:58:21,200 That one. Come on. 576 00:58:22,408 --> 00:58:25,075 Come on. Fuck. Come on. 577 00:58:34,033 --> 00:58:35,783 - What are you doing? - Don't move. 578 00:58:35,825 --> 00:58:37,242 What are you doing? Is he robbing you?! 579 00:58:37,283 --> 00:58:38,742 Oi! Come here, now! 580 00:58:44,325 --> 00:58:45,742 Oi! 581 00:58:47,033 --> 00:58:49,075 Get out. What you doing? 582 00:58:49,117 --> 00:58:50,658 Oi, you little prick! 583 00:58:50,700 --> 00:58:52,825 Oi! 584 00:59:09,408 --> 00:59:10,658 Ha. Ha. 585 00:59:26,242 --> 00:59:28,658 Ha-ha! 586 00:59:31,533 --> 00:59:33,700 Oh! 587 00:59:33,742 --> 00:59:35,033 Fuck. 588 00:59:35,075 --> 00:59:37,408 Fuck it. 589 00:59:37,450 --> 00:59:39,242 Fuck! 590 00:59:39,283 --> 00:59:41,075 Fuck. Fuck! 591 00:59:44,075 --> 00:59:45,908 Fuck! 592 01:00:14,450 --> 01:00:16,408 Fuck! Hey. Hey. 593 01:00:16,450 --> 01:00:20,700 How you going? Yeah? Yeah. 594 01:00:55,450 --> 01:00:56,742 Hey. 595 01:00:56,783 --> 01:00:58,658 - How can I help you, sir? - You got any rooms? 596 01:00:58,700 --> 01:00:59,992 Um, do you have a reservation? 597 01:01:00,033 --> 01:01:02,033 - No. - Um... 598 01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:04,825 - it's very busy at the moment. - Well, have you got anything at all? 599 01:01:06,283 --> 01:01:08,992 We do have a Superior Double available. 600 01:01:09,033 --> 01:01:10,742 How many nights are you after? 601 01:01:10,783 --> 01:01:11,867 Um... 602 01:01:11,908 --> 01:01:13,450 a week. 603 01:01:13,492 --> 01:01:15,325 Uh... 604 01:01:15,367 --> 01:01:17,825 the Superior Double is only available tonight. 605 01:01:17,867 --> 01:01:19,783 I'll take it. 606 01:01:19,825 --> 01:01:21,533 Okay! 607 01:01:25,408 --> 01:01:28,450 - That be enough? - One second, sir. 608 01:01:33,325 --> 01:01:36,450 Place is so fucking clean! 609 01:01:36,492 --> 01:01:38,867 Yeah, it's part of our Signature Collection. 610 01:01:40,533 --> 01:01:42,658 The Signature Collection? 611 01:01:46,783 --> 01:01:48,783 Signature Collection? 612 01:01:53,325 --> 01:01:55,325 Doors closing. 613 01:07:38,742 --> 01:07:41,617 ..raise your glasses, and join me. 614 01:07:41,658 --> 01:07:44,158 The toast is Patrick and Sarah. 615 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:47,200 Patrick and Sarah. 616 01:07:51,783 --> 01:07:55,117 Ladies and gents, put your hands together for Hamish, the best man. 617 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:03,742 Okay. Shut up, you dicks. 618 01:08:06,367 --> 01:08:07,950 Now, then. 619 01:08:07,992 --> 01:08:11,950 People have been coming up to me all night... 620 01:08:11,992 --> 01:08:16,450 and asking me what precious little nuggets about... Patrick here... 621 01:08:16,492 --> 01:08:19,367 I'm going to share with you all. 622 01:08:19,407 --> 01:08:20,867 Patrick! 623 01:08:20,907 --> 01:08:22,492 Paddy. 624 01:08:22,532 --> 01:08:24,825 Pat. Pat the twat. 625 01:08:28,367 --> 01:08:31,242 And we've all got a favourite Patrick story, I reckon, 626 01:08:31,282 --> 01:08:34,950 and there's always enough to go around, that's for fucking sure. 627 01:08:34,992 --> 01:08:39,075 However... Ellie has made me promise 628 01:08:39,117 --> 01:08:41,950 not to tell the one about the time Pat shat himself 629 01:08:41,992 --> 01:08:44,532 on Sarah's mum's couch... 630 01:08:44,575 --> 01:08:46,575 after he had a bit of ketamine, 631 01:08:46,617 --> 01:08:48,907 thinking it would help him just chill out! 632 01:08:50,325 --> 01:08:52,617 That didn't work out too well for you, mate, did it? 633 01:08:52,657 --> 01:08:56,157 Um, excuse me, this is private. It's a private function. 634 01:08:56,200 --> 01:08:57,742 D'you, er... 635 01:08:57,782 --> 01:08:59,117 Wow. Tough crowd. 636 01:08:59,157 --> 01:09:01,242 You need to have an... like, an invitation. 637 01:09:01,282 --> 01:09:05,407 Well, I, for one, love your work, Mrs D. At least know we know... 638 01:09:05,450 --> 01:09:07,867 Uh... Shall I get security? 639 01:09:07,907 --> 01:09:10,950 So, no! No, no, no, no, no. 640 01:09:10,992 --> 01:09:12,700 I won't be telling that one, 641 01:09:12,742 --> 01:09:15,532 because I told I told Ellie that I wouldn't 642 01:09:15,575 --> 01:09:19,032 and you've got to listen to your better half, haven't you? 643 01:09:19,075 --> 01:09:21,907 Bit of a pearl for you, that. You can have that. 644 01:09:21,950 --> 01:09:23,782 And, you, Sarah... 645 01:09:23,825 --> 01:09:26,782 you can add that to your pearl necklace. 646 01:09:29,282 --> 01:09:32,032 I also think it would be in very, very poor taste 647 01:09:32,075 --> 01:09:34,325 if I was to mention the hot intern from work. 648 01:09:34,367 --> 01:09:36,492 Aw, you liked her, didn't you, mate? 649 01:09:36,532 --> 01:09:38,657 - No. - Yes, you fucking did. 650 01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:41,617 - No, I didn't, mate. - Hardly stopped talking about her! 651 01:09:41,657 --> 01:09:44,367 Mind you, she was proper fit, though, to be fair, weren't she? 652 01:09:44,407 --> 01:09:45,700 Eh? 653 01:09:45,742 --> 01:09:48,575 Well, relatively speaking. 654 01:09:48,617 --> 01:09:51,742 No, we all, we all thought that she was right out of your league, 655 01:09:51,782 --> 01:09:54,950 but, I don't know... must have had daddy issues. 656 01:09:56,492 --> 01:09:58,992 So, no, so I won't be mentioning her. 657 01:09:59,033 --> 01:10:02,325 And I certainly won't be bringing up the time that, er... 658 01:10:02,367 --> 01:10:04,867 that Sarah actively encouraged him 659 01:10:04,908 --> 01:10:06,575 to bring the hot intern home... 660 01:10:06,617 --> 01:10:08,325 Hello, who's this? 661 01:10:08,367 --> 01:10:11,783 Hello, mate. Anybody after a Big Issue? 662 01:10:11,825 --> 01:10:13,700 Ah, have you got yourself a bit of bread? 663 01:10:13,742 --> 01:10:16,117 Tell you what, why don't you take the bit of bread, go back to the buffet, 664 01:10:16,158 --> 01:10:17,658 get yourself a nice bit of chicken, or something, 665 01:10:17,700 --> 01:10:21,450 and then fuck off out back to your sleeping bag, yeah? 666 01:10:21,492 --> 01:10:24,367 Seriously, could somebody take him out before I knock him out? 667 01:10:25,450 --> 01:10:27,533 Fucker... Fuck... Seriously? 668 01:10:27,575 --> 01:10:28,950 Hamish, Hamish, please. 669 01:10:28,992 --> 01:10:31,200 You've got about fucking five seconds to get out of here 670 01:10:31,242 --> 01:10:33,242 before I punch you in the throat. 671 01:10:40,700 --> 01:10:42,700 We need this! 672 01:10:58,283 --> 01:11:00,283 Erm... 673 01:11:03,658 --> 01:11:05,825 Um. 674 01:11:05,867 --> 01:11:07,575 I'd, er... 675 01:11:07,617 --> 01:11:12,033 I'd like to propose a toast, to, um, Patrick and Sarah. 676 01:11:13,575 --> 01:11:15,908 Patrick and Sarah! 677 01:11:20,825 --> 01:11:22,908 Are you going to sit down? 678 01:11:22,950 --> 01:11:24,367 Oh, okay! 679 01:11:24,408 --> 01:11:26,617 Um. 680 01:11:26,658 --> 01:11:28,492 Er... 681 01:11:29,575 --> 01:11:31,867 Good. You enjoy that. Definitely. 682 01:11:33,992 --> 01:11:36,200 Yeah. It was... it was great. I had the, the cheesecake. 683 01:11:36,242 --> 01:11:37,867 You can have mine, if you want. 684 01:11:37,908 --> 01:11:40,200 You can have mine. 685 01:13:14,825 --> 01:13:15,992 Chuck it down, then. 686 01:13:18,367 --> 01:13:20,617 I'm not standing here for my health, am I? 687 01:13:20,658 --> 01:13:22,658 Fuck's sake. 688 01:13:22,700 --> 01:13:23,950 All right, mate? 689 01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:27,200 Here, the police are looking for you. 690 01:13:29,033 --> 01:13:30,533 I told them I didn't know nowt. 691 01:13:33,158 --> 01:13:34,825 What are you fucking doing? 692 01:13:34,867 --> 01:13:37,325 Oi, you little shit, get here! 693 01:13:37,367 --> 01:13:38,367 Oi! 694 01:14:06,117 --> 01:14:07,783 Woo! 695 01:14:19,658 --> 01:14:21,658 Fuck! 696 01:14:24,325 --> 01:14:26,450 You all right? Just stay there for a minute. 697 01:14:26,492 --> 01:14:28,325 You stay there. Stay there, okay? 698 01:14:28,367 --> 01:14:30,325 I've gotta look at the car. Don't worry, Mum. Mum! 699 01:14:30,367 --> 01:14:33,117 Don't worry. Don't worry, all right? Just stay there for the moment, okay? 700 01:14:33,158 --> 01:14:35,033 Hey, what the fuck have you done?! 701 01:14:35,075 --> 01:14:37,492 Nothing! He came out of fucking nowhere! I didn't see him! 702 01:14:37,533 --> 01:14:39,825 Yes, you did see him! You pulled out too quick, you dickhead! 703 01:14:39,867 --> 01:14:42,950 Oh, yeah, that's right, I saw him so I pulled out and let him crash into me. 704 01:14:42,992 --> 01:14:45,533 What are you smoking, mate? What the fuck have you done? 705 01:14:45,575 --> 01:14:46,950 I haven't done anything! 706 01:14:46,992 --> 01:14:49,075 Don't come near me. Fuck off. 707 01:14:49,117 --> 01:14:50,908 Fuck. 708 01:14:50,950 --> 01:14:55,658 - Put your phone away, all right? - You fucking arsehole! 709 01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:57,908 He came out of nowhere! I didn't see him! 710 01:14:57,950 --> 01:15:00,117 Why don't you just fucking leave it? All right? 711 01:15:00,158 --> 01:15:01,533 Oi, oi, oi, oi... 712 01:15:01,575 --> 01:15:04,200 - Get your hands off me! - How are you doing, man? 713 01:15:04,242 --> 01:15:05,658 Are you all right? 714 01:15:05,700 --> 01:15:09,075 Put your phone away. Put your phone down. Don't... 715 01:15:09,117 --> 01:15:12,242 Get your hands off me. Get your hands off me, right? 716 01:15:12,283 --> 01:15:14,950 - Stand over there! - Seriously, man, don't move. 717 01:15:14,992 --> 01:15:17,492 You don't know what you've done to yourself. 718 01:15:17,533 --> 01:15:18,658 You could have broken it. 719 01:15:18,700 --> 01:15:22,200 All right. You stand there. I'll deal with the fucking car, all right. 720 01:15:22,242 --> 01:15:24,158 - Put your phone down. - Are you okay, man? 721 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:26,200 Put your phone down! 722 01:15:28,117 --> 01:15:30,700 - You're in shock. - Oh, fuck off! 723 01:15:30,742 --> 01:15:33,533 You could have... You could have broken something, mate. 724 01:15:33,575 --> 01:15:36,575 Is that why you're driving like a twat - you're fucking drunk or something? 725 01:15:36,617 --> 01:15:38,658 I'm not drunk! I haven't drunk anything. 726 01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:41,867 - I've got an elderly mother... - Where's John? Where's John? 727 01:15:41,908 --> 01:15:44,742 - Where's John? - It's okay. Shh. 728 01:15:44,783 --> 01:15:47,533 What are you doing? Oi! Leave her alone, all right? 729 01:15:47,575 --> 01:15:50,200 Get her back in the car. All right? Get off her! Get off her! 730 01:15:50,242 --> 01:15:52,867 - Get off her... - Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Ease up. 731 01:15:52,908 --> 01:15:54,783 Mum, get back in the car. Get in the car. 732 01:15:54,825 --> 01:15:57,408 - Mum, get back in the car. - I'll sit with you for a little bit. 733 01:15:57,450 --> 01:15:59,075 Don't fucking slam the door in her face. 734 01:15:59,117 --> 01:16:00,575 Don't tell me what to do, you prick! 735 01:16:00,617 --> 01:16:02,408 - Fuck off! - Just ease up. Ease up. 736 01:16:03,617 --> 01:16:06,325 - Fucking hell! - Leave off, man! 737 01:16:06,367 --> 01:16:07,867 Ease up, man! Ease up! 738 01:16:07,908 --> 01:16:09,533 Stay there. Don't you get involved with this. 739 01:16:09,575 --> 01:16:11,283 - Ease up! - Just calm down. 740 01:16:11,325 --> 01:16:14,450 It's got nothing to do with you! Ow! Fuckin' hell. 741 01:16:16,367 --> 01:16:17,742 Fuck. Oh! 742 01:16:19,492 --> 01:16:20,658 Fucking laughing at, you prick? Fuck off. 743 01:16:20,700 --> 01:16:23,117 - Stop. Stop. - Fuck off. Go away. 744 01:16:23,158 --> 01:16:25,033 - Go away! Fuck off! - Don't touch me! 745 01:16:25,075 --> 01:16:26,700 - Police. - Who you ringing? 746 01:16:26,742 --> 01:16:28,033 Who you ringing? Little cunt! 747 01:16:28,075 --> 01:16:30,492 It doesn't matter. Just calm the fuck down, all right? 748 01:16:30,533 --> 01:16:32,408 I don't need you getting involved as well! 749 01:16:32,450 --> 01:16:35,075 - Just calm down. - Who you ringing? 750 01:16:35,117 --> 01:16:38,075 Fucking hell! Get off me, you creep. 751 01:16:38,117 --> 01:16:40,367 Oh, fuck! 752 01:16:40,408 --> 01:16:42,033 What's wrong with you? 753 01:16:44,617 --> 01:16:47,117 Fuckin' hell! Argh, fuck! 754 01:16:49,158 --> 01:16:51,367 Fuck off. 755 01:16:51,408 --> 01:16:52,908 Shit! 756 01:16:52,950 --> 01:16:54,492 Oh, for fuck's sake! 757 01:16:55,867 --> 01:16:57,075 Eh? 758 01:16:57,117 --> 01:16:59,117 What are you doing? 759 01:17:00,492 --> 01:17:02,742 What you laughing at? 760 01:17:02,783 --> 01:17:05,242 You fuckin' weirdo! 761 01:17:05,283 --> 01:17:06,950 I'll see you later! 762 01:17:06,992 --> 01:17:09,158 Yeah. Fuck off, you nutcase! 763 01:17:13,367 --> 01:17:16,783 You wanna get some help, mate. 764 01:17:16,825 --> 01:17:19,408 Yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha. 765 01:21:34,450 --> 01:21:36,450 Beep, beep. 766 01:22:10,950 --> 01:22:12,617 Mmm. 767 01:22:24,408 --> 01:22:26,408 You know, I think of you... 768 01:22:28,908 --> 01:22:31,075 ..first thing when I wake up. 769 01:22:33,367 --> 01:22:35,825 Every day since... 770 01:22:35,867 --> 01:22:37,867 before you were born. 771 01:22:39,992 --> 01:22:41,367 I go... 772 01:22:42,533 --> 01:22:45,783 .."Just keep him safe." 773 01:22:47,992 --> 01:22:49,992 "That's all." 774 01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:57,200 Don't you dare smile. 775 01:22:59,950 --> 01:23:02,742 Not when you let someone do this to you! 776 01:23:06,325 --> 01:23:08,575 It's okay, Mum. 777 01:23:08,617 --> 01:23:10,742 What, you think this is okay? 778 01:23:14,492 --> 01:23:16,492 It's... just... 779 01:23:17,658 --> 01:23:18,950 It's not important. 780 01:23:18,992 --> 01:23:21,325 Well, it is to me! It's everything to me! 781 01:23:24,617 --> 01:23:26,617 This is not what... 782 01:23:29,908 --> 01:23:34,200 ..a... This is not what a good life looks like, Joseph. 783 01:23:38,117 --> 01:23:40,158 But I feel so good, Mum. 784 01:23:42,242 --> 01:23:44,242 What does that mean? 785 01:23:44,283 --> 01:23:46,242 I don't understand, Joseph. 786 01:23:46,283 --> 01:23:48,533 Please, tell me. I don't... 787 01:24:01,867 --> 01:24:04,533 The police said you had a gun. 788 01:24:05,742 --> 01:24:07,908 What are you doing? 789 01:24:10,825 --> 01:24:12,742 I don't know. 790 01:24:15,075 --> 01:24:17,742 I thought we'd get a call telling us you'd shot yourself. 791 01:24:19,950 --> 01:24:22,075 Every time the phone rang. 792 01:24:25,450 --> 01:24:26,950 It's okay, Dad. 793 01:24:28,533 --> 01:24:30,158 I'm good. 794 01:24:34,158 --> 01:24:37,075 You've ruined our lives. You know that? 795 01:24:40,367 --> 01:24:42,992 He hasn't ruined mine! 796 01:24:48,867 --> 01:24:50,867 You haven't. 797 01:24:55,742 --> 01:24:58,033 You're my sun... 798 01:24:59,992 --> 01:25:01,908 ..and moon. 799 01:25:06,908 --> 01:25:08,908 You don't have to... 800 01:25:10,658 --> 01:25:11,867 Dad. 801 01:25:30,992 --> 01:25:32,992 You were laughing in your sleep. 802 01:25:36,950 --> 01:25:39,408 You did that when you was a baby. 803 01:25:42,242 --> 01:25:44,617 And I'd go... 804 01:25:44,658 --> 01:25:46,658 "What's going on in that head?" 805 01:25:49,950 --> 01:25:51,950 What's so funny? 806 01:26:06,908 --> 01:26:09,242 Is Dad phoning the police? 807 01:26:17,658 --> 01:26:19,658 Silly man. 808 01:26:34,325 --> 01:26:36,575 Silly sausage. 809 01:26:58,700 --> 01:27:00,700 Oh, my God. 810 01:27:00,742 --> 01:27:02,742 Oh, my... 811 01:27:18,658 --> 01:27:20,408 Is that your back? 812 01:27:20,450 --> 01:27:21,658 Yeah. 813 01:27:22,867 --> 01:27:24,867 It always does that. 814 01:27:34,783 --> 01:27:36,783 I'll see you soon, okay? 815 01:27:40,408 --> 01:27:42,408 Okay. 816 01:28:21,575 --> 01:28:23,575 - All right, there, fella? - Hey. 817 01:28:28,033 --> 01:28:30,242 That's all right, mate. Yeah. Pound, please. 818 01:28:32,325 --> 01:28:34,325 Thank you very much. Look after yourself, yeah? 819 01:30:56,992 --> 01:30:59,242 Cashier number four, please. 820 01:31:01,825 --> 01:31:03,825 Cashier number six, please. 821 01:31:06,950 --> 01:31:08,450 Hey. 822 01:31:09,825 --> 01:31:11,825 Hi. 823 01:31:20,075 --> 01:31:22,075 Do it. 824 01:31:32,075 --> 01:31:33,450 That's enough. 825 01:31:33,492 --> 01:31:35,867 - Thank you. - Excuse me? That's enough. 826 01:31:35,908 --> 01:31:38,408 - Thank you. - Okay. 827 01:33:16,853 --> 01:33:21,853 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull